Chapter Seventeen: Sweet Suffocation

A/N: I'm sorry that it's taken so long for me to write another chapter. My computer crashed and I had to use a recovery disk. It erased all of my hard drive, including all of my ideas for my stories. I had also started this chapter and it was deleted. So this is all from memory, and it sucks because I know the original chapter was much better.

Ellie

Jay picked me up around nine. We were driving to the party in silence. A long time ago, he gave me a ride somewhere and the music was blaring. I told him that I didn't like it, and he never turned it on since. I found my hand closer to Jay as I rested it on his right leg. He looked at me and smiled. Then he put his hand on top of mine and held it. I leaned my head against the back of the seat and closed my eyes. How could something that was so wrong feel so right?

Sean

Emma is so irresistible without her shirt on. I pulled my shirt off and my hands traveled over her bare back as we made out. I reached down with one hand as I continued kissing her, undoing the button and then the zipper on her jeans. I slowly started to pull them down when she sat up and pushed me away.

"What's wrong Emma?" I asked her, a little confused.

"Sean…" she started to say.

"Look, you told me you were ready for this. It's okay if you're not, but I better just get going. Your parents will be home soon," I pointed out.

"No, never mind. I am ready. Keep going." Slowly, she lay back down on the bed and I started where I left off, pulling her pants off and throwing them to the floor. When she didn't do anything, I rolled my eyes and took my own pants off. I kept forgetting that she hadn't done this before. My hands trailed to her back again, and in one swift movement, I had her bra off. I threw that on the floor too, and kissed my way down to her breasts. I felt her flinch a little, but I knew she was just nervous. My lips found hers again, and while one hand was busy cupped around one of her breasts, the other hand slipped her underwear right off. By then I could tell that she was getting more comfortable because she ripped my boxers off. I reached up and switched the light off. We were in the dark except for a sliver of moonlight that lit up our faces.

From my experience with Alex, I knew that sex without a condom felt better for me, so I didn't mention anything to Emma. In the heat of the moment, she had forgotten too. I slipped myself inside her and saw her face twist in pain.

"Are you okay?" I whispered.

"I'm fine."

"Am I hurting you?"

"No." I could tell she was lying, but I couldn't stop. This was going to be one of the best nights of my life.

Ellie

I felt Jay shaking me and I opened my eyes. We were parked outside the house of the party.

"Sorry, I didn't think I'd fall asleep," I said.

"Don't worry about it." He got out of the car and opened the door for me. I followed him inside and we found a familiar corner, as usual. After sharing a joint, he got up to get us something to drink. He was gone for a few minutes when some random guy walked up to me, hands in his pockets, looking pretty sexy. He had black hair styled like Marco's and bright blue eyes.

"Hey," he said to me, pulling his hands from his pockets.

"Hi," I replied. When he didn't say anything for a minute, I spoke again. "Did you want something?"

"I noticed you sitting over here smoking with your boyfriend," he said, stepping closer.

"He's not my boyfriend, but what's your point?" I was getting a little annoyed.

"You just don't look very happy. And I think I have something to make you feel better. Much stronger than pot," he said. I sat up straight and listened, no longer annoyed. "Let me show you," he said, holding his hand out to help me up. I looked around quickly for Jay and didn't spot him. Taking the guy's hand, I followed him upstairs to the bathroom. He shut the door and locked it behind him, making me extremely nervous.

"I need to get out of here," I blurted out. Right, like that would work.

"Don't worry; I'm not gonna do anything to you. I just don't want to be interrupted." He smiled at me and my worries instantly dissolved. "My name's Ryder, by the way."

"I'm Ellie." I closed the lid on the toilet and sat down, watching Ryder intently. He pulled a small black case out of his pocket and opened it, emptying the contents on the counter. There was a little square mirror, a razorblade, and a little baggie. When I saw the razorblade, I instantly traced one of my scars with my finger. My stomach started to knot up, but I refocused my attention on Ryder. He poured a powdery white substance out of the baggie and it hit me. Cocaine. He wanted me to use cocaine. I froze up, wondering if I wanted to do this. He used the razorblade to form the cocaine into two neat lines and pulled a straw that was cut short out of his pocket. He used the straw to snort it up his nose and made it look easy.

"Um…" I started to say.

"It's okay; you don't have to do it. But you really don't know what you're missing," he said, holding the straw out to me. When I didn't take it, he withdrew his hand and turned away, about to snort the second line. What did I really have to lose? I already lost my child. I lost my mom, my dad, and my brother. I'm pretty sure I lost Sean too. But then there's Jay. Wait, why am I thinking of Jay? He has Emma.

"Wait!" I called out as he lowered his nose to the straw. Ryder gladly gave the straw up and I slowly walked over to the sink. My hand shook a little from nerves, and I felt stupid.

"Just take it slow," Ryder said, putting his arms on my shoulders and lightly rubbing them. "Calm down and do it," he whispered in my ear. I instantly flashed back to the moment Jay was in my kitchen with his arms around me. I bent down and quickly snorted the line, but fell backwards when I did. My nose was burning and I started to sneeze. I didn't even realize that Ryder was holding me up. He must have caught me when I stumbled back.

"Sorry," I mumbled.

"Don't worry about it. It happens to everyone their first time." He turned me around to face him and smiled. It seemed like the drug started to take effect when he smiled. I started to feel great. Better than I'd felt in a long time.

"Can I have some more?" I asked innocently. Ryder produced a smaller baggie from his pocket.

"How much money you got?" he asked. My face fell.

"I don't have any…"

"Okay, it's on the house, but only because I like you." He smiled and handed over the drug.

"Thanks," I said. I kissed him on the cheek and grabbed the bag. He turned and cleaned up his supplies while I looked for some of my own. I found a piece of cardboard in the trash can that would have to do. As for a razor, I couldn't find anything good, so I would just settle with my finger or something. And I could just use rolled up bills instead of a straw.

I happily exited the bathroom and went downstairs. I found Jay sitting in our corner, drinking from a water bottle. He looked bored and annoyed, but immediately brightened when I sat down next to him.

"Where have you been?" he asked.

"I was getting us something." I pulled the baggie out of my pocket, along with the cardboard and some money. Jay stared at me with a confused look on his face. I emptied the contents of the bag and began to form lines. It proved to only make four lines; two for each of us. I guess it would have to do. Jay was still staring at me, and watched me snort a line. I held the rolled up bill to him and he slowly took it.

"What the hell, it's just this one time, right?" I nodded my head, and then watched Jay snort his first line like he'd done it before. He didn't sneeze like I had.

"Not your first time?" I guessed.

"Nah. Tried it once before. But this is the last time, I swear." He smiled at me and I leaned in to kiss him. When we were done kissing, we snorted the remaining lines. I felt great; like nothing could ever hurt me. Ryder walked by and I casually waved at him. I burst out laughing for no reason, and Jay started to laugh with me.

"I gotta tell you something," I said to him.

"What is it?" he yelled, even though it wasn't very loud where we were sitting. I leaned towards him and whispered in his ear.

"I love you."

Sean

I fell back against one of the pillows and let out a huge, satisfied sigh. I turned to look at Emma, but she had her back to me. Shrugging my shoulders, I stood up and pulled my boxers and pants on. I walked around the bed to see Emma's face, but her eyes were closed. I leaned down and kissed her on the cheek.

"See ya," I whispered. I turned to leave, but felt her grab my arm.

"Sean…" she started to say.

"What is it?" I asked. She paused before speaking.

"Never mind." I could have sworn that I saw a tear fall from her eye, but I was too happy to really care. I had to get home before Ellie did. I originally told her that I was spending the night to work on the car, but since she was at a party, I figured I'd just go home. Besides, Spike and Snake would be getting home soon, and I didn't want to be there. I just had to get home first.

Ellie

Jay didn't say anything, he just stared at me.

"I better get you home before Sean. You told me you wanted to confront him about Emma," he said, finally breaking the silence. I turned my head, trying not to cry.

"You shouldn't drive while you're high," I said.

"I'm not. Two lines doesn't affect me like it affects you." He stood up and I followed him out to the car, still avoiding eye contact. "You don't really love me," he said once we got in the car. "It's the drugs talking."

"I guess you're right." I leaned my head against the window. Jay tried to take my hand once he had driven away, but I pulled my hand away and rested it in my lap. I closed my eyes, trying to keep the tears from falling. The cocaine was wearing off and I knew I had to get more soon. It was the only way for me to stay happy. Wasn't it?

Sean

I tried the doorknob to the apartment but it was locked. Good. She wasn't home yet. I used my key to let myself in. I was going to head straight to my room and crash, but I could see someone sitting on the couch. I flipped the light switch on, and there was Ellie, looking pretty pissed. And Jay was sitting right next to her. Shit.

A/N: Kris: Yes, they did have sex like you wanted them to, but I already have this entire story planned out. Don't worry; I think you'll like it. But I'm not really thinking along the lines of revenge sex. And no one is moving anywhere; not yet.