(Five)
Back down in the hanger bay Remy had just left, Kimble looked up as the Professor rolled into the Main Room from the galley. The man had come in with Beast earlier and Kimble had been relieved to have them pass him by without comment on his screw up with Holly. Apparently he hadn't gotten off as luckily as he had thought, it hadn't taken long for Charles to come back out here on his own. Kimble had no idea why Charles would be here in the first place but then the guy was the head honcho here, maybe he just wanted to talk to Fallen or Henry. Not feeling the least bit sociable, Kimble turned away and went to work, hoping the man would just pass him by.
The pilot had unpacked most of the cart and was organizing the materials just outside of the barracks room door. This was a quick job and with the files he had, shouldn't take him long. Seth had drawn up the plans for the rooms and Kimble had called them up on the Main Screen so he could have them ready. Kimble saw the ruler of the X-men coming and already began to shake with fear. So far, he'd had no direct contact with the man. Clearly, he had been too optimistic to think his little escapade from yesterday would go unnoticed.
"Good morning, Kimble," the Professor greeted warmly, killing any hopes the pilot might have had at getting away without having to speak.
Kimble swallowed heavily and quickly stooped down to one knee in the submissive Clan posture for royalty. "Good morrow, sir."
The Professor paused, startled by the grand display of humility. It was just another reminder to him that Kimble was from another place and needed only some understanding and patience. He could see Kimble's respect and his fear. He clearly respected his authority and the Professor would have to tread carefully here.
"Good morrow, Kimble. There's no need for that. Please, get up."
Kimble rose uncertainly. Fallen wasn't here to tell him how to act and he was nervous.
"What is this you are doing?" Charles asked, hoping to put Kimble at ease.
"Fallen wants some rooms changed around."
"I see. Please, don't let me stop you. We can chat while you work."
Kimble nodded and went back to reorganizing. He kept glancing up at the man in the wheelchair as he did. He was hopelessly spooked and felt his hands go slick with gel sweat. He was afraid he would drop something and look even more foolish. He took a deep breath and concentrated, using his mild telekinetic power to lift the heavier things.
Charles was looking over the diagram Seth had made on the Main Screen. It didn't stop him from noticing Kimble's use of power. In fact, it gave him an idea. "Your entrance test results came back. Your scores were quite impressive."
Charles' remarks were understated, Kimble's results had been shocking to say the least. He had outscored most students in the math and sciences, a result of Fallen showing him a thing or two no doubt. Kimble's mind was a computer, he had a perfect memory and whatever he came across was burned in there, ready for him to access again at any time. The only things Kimble had fallen short on were those to be expected - the history and social mores of this country where he had never lived.
Some psychology questions had been tossed in for good measure and it was there that Kimble's immaturity really showed. It was as though he were a ten year old child, one with a sexual drive far stronger than he should have and without the moral restraint most grown ups had acquired by the time they came of the age that Kimble's skin represented. That was a recipe for trouble and Kimble was going to need some serious looking after, something the Professor had just finished discussing with Fallen a moment ago.
Kimble smiled at what the Professor had said about his test scores. It was a compliment, being told he was so smart. Still he tried to be humble when he replied, "I told Henry that I knows how ta read 'n write. Gots my math down good. Don' think I needs no more learnin'."
The Professor laughed at Kimble's horrible English. It was partly because of this that Kimble was so easy to underestimate. "Yes, I can see that. Still, there's never too much you can learn. It might help you settle in."
Kimble kept his eyes down and said softly, "I gots orders ta stays away from the other kids. I'm suppozta stays down here."
"Who told you that?"
"Fallen. She's my Mistress. I gots orders."
Charles nodded, already knowing that Scott had handled this. They had discussed what to do with the Siskan and the punishment was appropriate. Charles had just made sure Fallen was on board with what needed to be done as well. Still, he took a minute to probe Kimble, wanting to get a look at Kimble's mind right from the source. "Kimble, what exactly were your intentions with Holly Mercer yesterday?"
Kimble swallowed again, unable to hide his fear. None of the others seemed to understand his needs, not even Remy, so he didn't bother to explain. "Nuthin'. We wuz just talkin', you know? She kissed me, that's all."
"Logan said you had a hand up her shirt."
Kimble put his head down and closed his eyes with real shame. There was no way out of this so he just said nothing more. They had all decided he was bad and he figured there was nothing to be done to change that.
Charles tried to keep his voice level as he attempted to reassure. He didn't want Kimble to think he had been condemned. "I'm not stupid. I know what you were you were doing, what I'd really like to know is why."
"I had no idear she wuz so young, I swears!" Kimble blurted out defensively, sounding just like the child he was.
Charles raised a hand, asking for calm. "I'd like very much to believe that, but it still doesn't answer the question. You mishandled a young girl, made advances towards more than one of the others here. What is it you want?"
"What're you askin', huh? Am I some kind of pervert?" Kimble asked back, a hard edge coming back into his voice. He shook his head. "What is it with you folks, huh? So afraid of havin' fun you turn a little fuckin' inta sumpthin' bad."
Kimble looked up at the Professor, his anger making him bold. He stood up close, suddenly invading the other man's space, and touched his face. The Professor started to jerk back, but then actually 'felt' Kimble's power as the pilot 'read' him. Kimble's touch was warm as if he was real, and for the first time Charles connected with the mind of this strange pilot making him far more alive to Charles than he had been only just a few seconds ago. The Professor wasn't alarmed, he sensed only Kimble's desire to make him understand, Kimble wasn't going to hurt him. The Professor decided to play along, his fascination holding him in place. Perhaps he would get a better idea of what this strange being was all about.
Kimble grinned at him sadly as he took in what his touch had told him. "You wuzn't always in no chair. You ever fuck a woman, huh?"
"Of course," Charles admitted though he didn't exactly approve of Kimble's choice of words. Charles was a man who thought in the most positive terms, Kimble's word implied a casualness that he had never felt when with the few women he had known. He took his emotions and relationships seriously.
Kimble grinned shyly, seeming to know just what the Professor was thinking and that it amused him in some way. "Tell me it wuzn't the best thing ya ever felt. Tell me there ain't no better feelin' when ya feels their love come blastin' inta ya, makin' ya feel yer the mos' important thing in the world."
The Professor smiled when he saw Kimble's eyes turn wistful and dreamy at the thought of all that love. Kimble wasn't the first empath Charles had met, he knew several. They felt things on a whole other level. Sex for an empath would be something quite different for them than the rest of us. He also knew that an empath would be overly emotional and subject to violent mood swings depending on their environment. Empaths were susceptible to depression, violent tendencies and suicide. They simply felt too much and it could overwhelm them. Kimble would have to be handled delicately, but could be worked in just fine with a little care and understanding. It had been a while since the Professor had an empath of Kimble's level in his care. He would have to do some research and set up a meeting with the Senior alphas. Kimble's empathy explained a lot about him and his strange behaviors.
"Of course it's nice, but it's not everything. There are other things that can give you satisfaction."
"I tried that already, it ain't no good fer me," Kimble said, misunderstanding.
The Professor laughed, breaking some of the tension. It hid his surprise that this creature, a supposed machine of sorts and not even technically real or organic, would even consider pleasuring himself. It only added to his sentiency. "That's not what I meant, dear boy. There's a certain satisfaction that comes from helping others. An empath like yourself can be very useful in helping us with people who are hurt or can't speak to us. Just as the telepaths do."
Kimble stepped back and crouched down, submissive. "Then ya ain't mad at me?"
"No, but we do have rules. It is not acceptable to handle such a young girl like that."
"Y-yes, sir," Kimble replied, lowering his eyes.
"It will not happen again."
"No, sir."
"Good. Now let's put that behind us now. I would say that just because you need to be separated from the students for a while doesn't mean the school can't come to you. I could bring you some books."
Kimble was still frozen, stunned that he had gotten off so easily. It didn't keep him from being dispassionate about the Professor's offer. It was just one more thing for him to do all alone. Another empty task. "Shure. Whatever."
The Professor noted the change in Kimble's attitude but not the reason behind it. He figured Kimble would be all over the opportunity to explore and learn new things. He had picked up that much watching Kimble at the dining table the first night here. Come to think of it, Kimble's attitude was sharply different from that first day. The brightness and childlike curiosity was gone, replaced with a sullen, depressed manner. Fallen's strange hologram was clearly under some kind of pressure or getting swamped with negative vibrations. Where would they be coming from? What had he missed?
It really disabled his normal intuitiveness not being to use his telepathy. As before, he got nothing from Kimble now that the Siskan had withdrawn, as if the creature in front of him wasn't really there. Charles would never fully invade the mind of another, he'd trained himself too well. He was not an eavesdropper or a reckless mind reader. He was a polite man and made his own set of rules, he would ask before fully diving into the psyche of another. It was just easier when the mood of his subject was a little more available than Kimble's was. He had no idea he was witnessing a typical Kimble reaction to being neglected.
"Do you like it here?"
Kimble froze, pinned under the Professor's stare. He swallowed nervously and grinned to cover his discomfort. " 'S all right, I guess," he lied, not wanting to offend his host.
"This can be a good place for someone like you. Clearly you have many talents and we need all the help we can get. What makes a good team is diversity. Everyone can contribute. This would be a good place to explore your potential."
Kimble shook his head as he was swamped with more negative thoughts. Explore my potential for what? Fuckin' up? Oh, I haven't even begun ta starts if I knows m'self well enough! "When Seth gits out, we'll be movin' on. I don' wants ta start sumpthin' I ain't gonna finish."
The Professor seemed puzzled by Kimble's response, he said, "Henry has offered Fallen and Seth both positions here and they've accepted. Didn't she tell you?"
Kimble froze, stunned and momentarily breathless as his anger surged. Fallen had told him nothing of this, the little bitch. Oh, this was just great. Just great. Now he wasn't even in the information loop, how embarrassing.
Charles saw the look of devastation and fury on Kimble's face, a fact the poor Siskan wasn't able to hide. Charles realized Kimble hadn't been told and was wounded deeply by it. Kimble felt left out. Kimble felt unaccepted. Kimble felt unwanted. Kimble had fucked up royally and had believed his mistake was unrecoverable until just now when the Professor had tossed him a gesture of forgiveness. Kimble hadn't felt this from Fallen, his Mistress. Kimble wondered when he was going to fuck up next and just how bad it was going to be. It all came to the Professor in that one look.
Instantly sympathetic, the Professor tried to reach out to him. "This is a strange place to you, I realize, but it's not as difficult a one as you may think. We want you here, Kimble. I want you here. Change is a necessary part of life and we all need it. Let us help you adjust and you'll see how this will be a good place for you to explore your powers and yourself."
The Professor wanted to put Kimble at ease, to help him blend into the group even though technically he wasn't real. He had a sense that Kimble's only trouble was that he wanted to belong and hoped that his encouragement would raise Kimble's spirits and inspire him to try a bit harder to get along.
Kimble was too distracted by the Professor's announcement to feel inspired to do anything but have a nice big fight. Fallen had said nothing to him about this and he was furious. He was her Second, her Kimble, and he had a right to know. How dare she just pass him by like he was nothing!
"I'll..uh..I'll thinks about it," he stammered, wanting this man gone so he could rip Fallen a new one. How dare she do this to him! "I gots to git back ta workin's now."
The Professor could see Kimble wasn't in the mood to talk anymore and decided maybe he should continue this conversation at another time. He had dropped a few hints the pilot might take into consideration if hew wasn't too pressured. Charles knew the best thing now was to back off and give Kimble some time to think it over about joining the school. He had no idea of the fight he had just precipitated between this pilot and his Mistress, but he knew it after he had excused himself and made his way down the ramp. He was only just out of the ship when he heard Kimble go off, the pilot had wasted no time in finding his Mistress. Charles looked back the way he had come, startled by the language that came out the Siskan's mouth. He realized his mistake too late, but was in no position to stop it now.
(break)
Kimble was livid, flushed, as he shouted at his Mistress, "Why the fuck didn't ya tell me we wuz stayin' fer good, huh! I'm yer god damned Second! I had a right ta know! I gots a say in this!"
"Lower your voice!" Fallen ordered, not the least bit intimidated by Kimble's wrath. "I'm your Mistress, your Captain, and you will calm down! Not that I have to explain myself, but that only just happened this morning and I didn't get a chance to tell you yet. Besides, I thought you wanted to stay!"
Kimble had stormed into the galley, not even a breath after the Professor had left. He faced Fallen now and went off, not even caring that Henry was there. Beast had been shocked silent by Kimble's unexpected outburst. He moved back a little and let them duke it out, vowing only to step in if things got out of control. He hadn't realized Kimble didn't know about Fallen's change in plans and hoped they would resolve this quickly. He didn't think Kimble would do more than just vent his frustration verbally.
" 'Case you haven't noticed, things ain't been workin' out so good fer me!" Kimble continued to rant, his face contorted in an ugly mask of rage and frustration.
"What are you talking about? We've only been here a few days! You are so incredibly selfish, you know that? All you've done since we got here is cause trouble. You have freedom, Kimble, and you squander it as if it has no value! Your brother would love to have what you do. I can't believe how silly you're being right now!"
Kimble started to argue some more but realized that she simply didn't know what was happening to him. She spent all day in the shop working merrily away while he was stuck out here being ignored and shoved aside. Since she and Henry began their work to free Seth in earnest, they had hardly spoken except for her yelling at him or ordering him to do something that inevitably had him off working somewhere alone. She really had no clue how miserable he was. Defeated, he no longer wanted to argue. "Just fergits anathin' I say, okay? It's obvious you don' give a shit nohow."
He turned away but growled when she snatched at his arm.
"Talk to me, Kimble. What's going on? Is it that girl? How could you have been so stupid? You need to try harder! It's time to grow up, Kim. You are my Second and under my authority. We're staying and that's the end of it. Deal with it. If you'd just shape up and get your hormones under control, you'd see most of your troubles are your own fault!"
"My fault! My—? Fuck you!" he snarled, yanking his arm away. In his anger, he gave off a short telekinetic pulse that pushed her back a pace. He stormed out, cursing her all the way. She was never going to understand so why even bother.
"Kimble! You get back here this instant!" Fallen bellowed after him as if he was an unruly teenager. She had been taken by surprise from his display of power as much as from his unexpected reaction to her decision to stay. Two days ago he'd been begging her to stay, now he wanted to leave. What was his problem? He was so unreasonable and stubborn!
"Leave him be, Fallen," Henry advised. "Let him cool off and settle down. He's just trying to adjust. That will take time. Let him cool off and spend some time with him later. He's probably just lonely."
"He's a pain in the ass!"
"He's a lonely pain in the ass. He's seen very little of you," Beast insisted.
Fallen took deep breath and calmed down. "You're right. You're right. Let's do some work and I'll talk to him later when he settles down."
"I'm sure you'll see he just needs some company. Now let's get cracking on those codes. I've got some fresh ideas."
She smiled at him, grateful for all of his help and they went down to the shop.
(break)
Kimble paced in the barracks room, trying to think. He was trembling with rage and humiliation, furious he had been brushed off. As far as his Mistress was concerned, he had gone off on her for no reason. As usual, he had blown everything all out of proportion and had been shut down. Of course it was all his fault, didn't he know? Never being good enough, never being accepted, left all alone. Of course it was all his fault. Yep, uh huh. Right. Shure.
I toldja so! Zander cackled from inside his head, all too ready to put in his two cents worth. I toldja they wuz never gonna have ya!
"Go away!"
I felt that vibration cummin' offa yer sweet Cajun pretty boy, too. Wonder if he's jealous of that piece of Asian ass you wuz tryin' ta score. Guess ya blew that one, too! Zander laughed.
"Shut up! Jus' shut up!" Kimble growled and covered his ears.
"Who are you talking to?"
Kimble turned to see Seth who had just popped up on the barracks viewing screen. Seth had heard Kimble and Fallen arguing and went to see what was the matter. He didn't like the look he saw on his brother's face now, it was too much like the one he'd had on the trip here when they were all trapped inside the Lucky Dragon and having a hard time. "You okay?"
"I'm fine!" Kimble snapped harshly, hardly convincing. He was still angry and feeling left out. Figures Seth would come now instead of being there for him last night when he had really needed the company. Now all he wanted was to be left alone.
Seth cringed a little, wounded by Kimble's tone. "Don't be angry. Don't be mad like you were before, Kimble. It scares me."
Kimble sighed and closed his eyes. It scared him, too. He softened his voice and said a little more gently, "It's nuthin', jus' fergit it."
"Let's go play chess, okay?"
You had yer chance, buddy, and blew it big time, Kimble thought with renewed anger. "I gots work ta do."
Seth lowered his eyes, knowing he had just been brushed off. He realized now he shouldn't have turned Kimble away last night. Now his brother was mad. "How about later, okay?"
"Shure, whatever."
"I mean it. I miss you."
Kimble relaxed and gave his brother a small reassuring smile. It was hard for him to stay mad at Seth, even after today's troubles. "All right. When Fallen goes down fer sleepin'."
Seth smiled with relief. "I'll be there." The screen winked out and Kimble was alone.
The moment he was alone, Kimble gave into his tumultuous emotions and crouched down low, covering his ears again. He closed his eyes and took a couple of deep breaths, trying to calm down. He had to get his frustration under control or he was going to snap and do something even more stupid than he had already. He had to be smarter than this. He thought of good things, of Remy and the sound of his hearty laughter and the soft lilt of his lovely Cajun voice. Man, he missed that playful thief more than anything. Now all that had been ruined. Kimble sobbed a little when he remembered the pain from Gambit's vibration of disappointment and anger and felt a surge of self loathing and humiliation.
He felt suddenly dirty and the smell of excrement flooded his nose, an offense that come out of nowhere. He looked all around him in confusion, but saw nothing that would cause this awful stink, certainly not Zander or his stupid little ghost. He was awake now anyway, not lost in a dream. Disgusted, he stood up and shuffled off to the barracks lav, closing the door. He stepped into the shower and let the hot water pour over him, turning it hotter and hotter until it almost scalded his sensitive skin. He rubbed the soap over him, burying himself in Fallen's smell. It refreshed him and he felt better now, laughing as he covered himself in suds and loving the feel of his hands over his body. The horrible stink was gone, he must have imagined it, how silly of him. He lost himself in another playful fantasy, preferring this dream to the bleak reality he now found himself in.
He missed Sheyman horribly. His father had always found time to be with him, had always been there for him with comfort and ample playtime. He really needed that level of loving care to be truly happy. He ran through some of his memory files of his father, trying to grasp onto any shred of love and comfort he could find. It soothed him and calmed him, but would never be the same as a real lover right here, right now. He indulged himself in the shower few more minutes then got out and dried off.
When he went back to work, his mind had cleared and he lost himself in the task, banishing Zander to the furthest part of his consciousness. It was nice to actually have real work to do and he found himself losing all track of time. He never noticed it when Fallen never came to talk to him or that Seth had blown him off again. Not until it was quite late and the ship had fallen silent. Not until he had finished his job with pride and had no one to show it to, no one to tell him what a good job he had done or how helpful he had been. Not until he was once more completely, totally alone.