Chapter Twenty-Six: To The Core
Ellie
I heard a key turning into the lock on the door and I quickly wiped the tears from my eyes. A woman wearing a nurse's type of outfit came into the room.
"It's good to see you're awake," she said, closing the door behind her. "Your friends were all worried about you."
"I'm fine," I said a little coldly. It wasn't her fault that I was here, but since she was the first person I had seen, I could be rude to her. I felt like being rude.
"You sure don't look fine," she said, crossing her arms over her chest. She looked annoyed. "You're pale, too skinny, dark circles around your eyes, you look like you're going to be sick any minute, and you're shaking," she said, naming all my faults. I was shaking. I hadn't even realized it.
"Are you supposed to talk to me like that?" I asked, narrowing my eyes.
"I'm just being honest. Look, there's a group therapy starting. You're required to go, so you might as well check it out."
"I don't feel like it," I said.
"Too bad." She walked over to me and I thought she was going to drag me there. Instead she held out her hand, waiting for me to grab it. What did she think I was? A child? But without thinking, I took her hand. She helped me up from the bed. I didn't even realize I needed help. But I did.
"Can you make me stay here?" I asked suddenly. I didn't think they were allowed to keep me against my will.
"Normally, no. But your case is different. Your boyfriend told us that you were not to be let out until you were better. Of course, he doesn't really have a say, seeing as he's not family. We informed him that a parent needed to sign certain papers to keep you here."
"I don't have any parents. Not anymore," I told her.
"He told us what happened. We told him that your father could sign the papers. When he refused to ask your father, we said that was all we could do. Otherwise, you'd be able to leave as soon as you wanted; whether you were better or not." The entire time she told me this, she was leading me down a long hallway.
"So, why can't I leave then?" I asked.
"Because your guardian signed them," she said.
"My guardian? I don't have one!" I said a little too loudly. People around me were staring. I hung my head.
"According to the paperwork you do. A Mrs. Del Rossi."
"What? Since when?" I asked. Marco told his mom. I can't believe he told her.
"We were just faxed the paperwork before you woke up. She went straight to the Department of Children and Families with your case. They found your case quite urgent and assigned her as a temporary guardian. They all thought you were living with your father's girlfriend," she told me. "Well, this is it." We were standing in front of a door that was propped open. "They haven't started yet. Oh and my name is Maria if you need anything."
Then she walked away and left me there, standing in front of the door. I looked in and saw seven people sitting in a circle. There were two chairs left. I was about to walk away when a woman came up to me.
"Come on in and join us," she said, ushering me into the room. She sat down in her chair and I was left to sit in between a boy who looked like he was about to cry and a girl who looked angry. Great. "Okay everyone, welcome to group. This session marks a new year. Let us start by introducing ourselves. I want you to say your name, something you enjoy doing, and then why you are here. I'll go first. My name is Rebecca. I love to read and I'm here to help you." Then she turned to the boy on her left and he went next. I didn't even listen.
One by one, each person around the circle said their piece. Some of them burst into tears as they stated their problems, others got angry and started yelling. The entire time I just stared at the floor. Then I realized the boy next to me was taking his turn.
"My name is Xavier. I like doing drugs and I'm here because my mom drove me." I laughed to myself. Everyone else laughed out loud. He was funny. Rebecca made a weird face but didn't comment. Then she turned to me.
I stared right back at her. Why should I tell her anything? Why should I tell any of these people anything? They're not my friends. I doubt they care if I get better or not. I wish Jay was here. And Marco, and Sean. Hell, I even wish Emma was here. Anyone familiar. When Rebecca finally realized I wasn't going to say anything at all, she frowned. Then the girl on my left spoke.
"Oooh! Pick me! I want to go next!" she said, waving her arm around, her voice dripping with sarcasm. Rebecca looked at me one more time and I looked at the floor. She let out a huge sigh.
"Go ahead," she told the girl.
"My name is Rayne. It's spelled R-A-Y-N-E. I like to spell my name because no one ever gets it right. And I'm here because I want to get better just for you," she said, still sarcastic. Rebecca made that face again. Then she moved on to the next person. I turned to Rayne and smiled at her. She smiled back.
I didn't pay attention to anything after that. Once all the people in the circle talked, Rebecca started telling about the program or something. Like I said, I wasn't paying attention. When she finally told us we could go, I sped right out of there. But someone tapped me on the shoulder and I turned around. It was Rayne, and that boy Xavier was with her.
"So, what's your story?" she asked me. I didn't say anything. I just kept walking and they followed me.
"My name is Ellie. And that's all you'll get from me," I said, smiling. "I'm not going to go into my life story or anything."
"You don't have to. But you do have to talk in there. Or you'll never get out. And if you just sit and don't participate at all, they'll just move you to another program," she told me.
"Besides, you're too cute to just sit there and stare," Xavier added. I felt myself blushing, but I didn't say anything.
"You want a tour?" Rayne asked. "We've been here a week, and we know pretty much everything about this place. Not like there's much to learn." I stopped walking and turned around to face them. They both flashed me cheesy grins.
"Are you guys best friends or something?" I asked.
"Close, we're twins," Xavier said, throwing and arm around her sister. I took in their eyes that were so light blue they were almost gray. And their black hair. It was naturally black. Like Marco's. Like Ryder's. Ryder. Maybe he's here!
"Hey, do you know if there's a kid named Ryder here?" I asked.
"The name doesn't ring a bell. But I dunno; I guess it's possible." I perked up. Maybe he is really here. Maybe he has cocaine. What am I thinking? I'm never gonna get out of here if I keep thinking about him.
"About that tour…that sounds great," I told them. They each grabbed one of my hands, dragging me back the way we came.
"There are basically only five places we ever get to go around here," Rayne started. "There's the 'family room.' They call it that because we're all supposed to be part of a huge family here or something." She showed me a room with a bunch of couches and a big TV. "Don't get too excited, all we get to watch are inspirational movies that make us want to be better people," she said, sarcastic yet again. "And they lock it up at night, so we can't even sneak in and watch anything worth seeing."
"The next place is the cafeteria," Xavier said, dragging me off. "You have to eat three meals a day. We all have little key card things and they can see who didn't show up for a meal. Breakfast is at eight am, Lunch is at twelve-thirty, and Dinner's at six. Moving right along…"
"Next on this wonderful tour, we have the classrooms. This is where school is held. For those of us lucky people under eighteen, we get to go from eight-thirty until three, with a lunch break in the middle," Rayne said. "A whopping thirty-eight and a half hours of school each week."
"Then there are the therapy rooms. Stop number four on the tour. During the week, we have one therapy session that lasts for two hours after dinner. Monday, Wednesday, and Friday are the group therapy days. Tuesdays and Thursdays are when one on one therapy is held. On Saturdays and Sundays, there are three group therapy sessions, each lasting two hours, and three individual sessions, each lasting an hour and a half. That's a lovely total of twenty and a half hours of therapy per week," Xavier explained.
"Not to mention that during most of our free time, we get to watch those inspirational films and learn yoga and meditation," Rayne added. "Saturday is pretty much the only day that we can do whatever we want during free time. And Sunday is visiting day. But you don't get any visitors until two months into the program."
"This is hell," I groaned. "Pure hell." Xavier and Rayne nodded their heads in agreement. "So where's the fifth place I'm allowed to go?" I asked.
"Your bedroom," Xavier said.
"Great. It's so cheery in there," I said.
"What color is your room?" Rayne asked me.
"Yellow."
"Mine's green," she said. "Like the grass!" she added, faking cheerfulness.
"Mine is blue," Xavier informed me. "Supposed to be like water or something I guess. A calming stream." We all laughed and walked back to where the bedrooms where. I found out that my room was two doors down from Rayne's. Xavier was in a whole other corridor. They try to keep distance between men and women so we don't develop 'sexual interests' while we're here. Guess they forgot about the people who were gay, lesbian, or bisexual. Idiots.
"Have you noticed how clean the bathrooms are?" I asked.
"Yeah. Everything's white, including the towels. That's so they can see blood on them. It stands out. Everyone's room has a number and the towels have the room number on them. And there's nothing in there at all that you could hurt yourself with. Unless of course, you drink the shampoo or something," Rayne said.
"And you get a shower stall so you can't drown yourself in the bathtub," Xavier added.
"Did they tell you this?" I asked.
"No, but it's kind of obvious," Xavier said. It wasn't obvious to me, but whatever. It's probably true.
"Oh, and there are cameras in your room. Watching your every move. So you don't hurt yourself," Rayne informed me. "But there aren't any in the bathroom because it's against the law."
"And we are allowed to go into each other's rooms. That's only because of the cameras. There are hundreds of people working here, from cleaning staff to security to nurses and therapists. Each person has their own nurse," Xavier said.
"How many people are in here?" I asked.
"Only forty. They group people by age. Eight people in each age group, five different groups. We're in the age group of twelve to eighteen. There's currently no group that goes from birth to age eleven, but who knows," Rayne joked. "Could happen soon."
"The other age groups are nineteen to thirty, thirty-one to forty-five, forty-six to sixty, and sixty-one and up," Xavier added.
"You're schedule is probably posted in your room by now. It'll tell all your classes, teachers, and therapists. You'll have the same therapist for group every time; that's Rebecca. Then you'll have a different one for individual sessions. Want to go check it out?" Rayne asked me. I was just about to answer when a voice came over the speakers.
"Attention everyone. It's time for another movie! Meet in the family room in five minutes," a cheery woman said loudly. Rayne and Xavier rolled their eyes.
"Guess not," I said. The three of us linked arms and we headed off to the family room. I don't know how I'll ever survive in this place. But there's no way out.
A/N: Okay, Rayne's name is pronounced 'rain' and Xavier's is 'zavier,' not x-zavier.' Just thought I'd let you know. There are only a few chapters left! Hope you still like it. I also hope this chapter wasn't too boring…I just wanted Ellie to know all about the place.