Chapter 10:

Green Lantern had retained the use of his stealth mode moments after they had made their escape, consistently peering down at a ring constructed device that would warn him of any uninvited guests that were trying to track them. The sun was beginning to peek idly over the eastern horizon when they reached his home, and they drifted slowly to an unopened window on the far west side of the building. Since it was still fairly dark, they were able to slip into his apartment unseen.

Hawkgirl had dozed off and on during their cross-country trek, and Lantern wanted nothing more than to have her get some much needed rest. He knew that it would be only a matter of time before the Thanagarians would start looking for her again, but he also knew that it would take a lot more time for them to trace her here, so Shayera should have a brief respite to recuperate before they would have to find a more secure location.

Shayera touched the back of her head as she looked at herself in the bathroom mirror, her vision much clearer now.

"Ow... she didn't have to hit me so hard," she observed.

"Who...?"

"Pilar... she's the one who hit me on the back of my head..."

"She's a friend of yours..."

"Yeah... she was just doing her job... it was nothing personal..."

"You sure about that...?" John asked not convinced.

"Yeah... we were in the academy together, hadn't seen her in five years."

Shayera decided that a shower before sleep would be in good order. It had been a few days since her last one and was convinced that she needed one badly.

John took out a pair of clean sweat pants, an extra large tee shirt that he conveniently cut out two slots in the back of the shirt, so that her wings would fit through, and left them on the bed.

He went back into the living room, sat down on the sofa, and listened to the water running in his bathroom. John felt at home again, even though he knew that this was temporary. He had planned on bringing her back to stay with him, but it seemed that now wasn't the right time to talk about it. He needed to see how all of this would play out.

The sound of running water had stopped, and he knew she was busy drying herself off. He wanted to take a peek, but chivalry kept him at arm's length. The situation wasn't the same... he sat there frozen unable to think clearly on what was proper. When they were together before, he wouldn't have given it a second thought, but now...

"You ok in there..." he asked almost embarrassed as he approached the bathroom door.

"Uh... yeah... I'm fine... thanks," she answered casually, hearing the uneasiness in his voice. "You wouldn't happen to have a comb would ya?"

"Yeah... sure... give me a minute," John mumbled, trying to remember where he had put it. He'd been wearing a fade for so long, there was no need for him to use a comb anymore. Ah... the linen closet... he'd finally remembered. He was excited once he found it.

"Here ya go..."

Her hand reached through the doorway and took the comb from him, leaving the door partially opened.

"Thanks."

John couldn't help but gaze through the doorway at the movements of the contoured shadow of her body, as she combed her hair, in which the rays of the sun from the bathroom window painted on the adjacent wall.

What am I doing... he questioned, realizing that he was standing there longer than he intended. He knew he loved her, but he never considered that he would feel so awkward... so frightened... to have her around him once more.

"Hungry?" he asked, clearing his throat nervously.

"I'm famished..."

Glad he could get his mind on something other than what he wanted to do, he recalled having some eel heads that he mistakenly bought from the Chinese restaurant sometime ago. He didn't see the point in throwing them out so he had stored them in the freezer. He slowly thawed them out in the microwave, boiled some rice, then cooked them in a wok with olive oil, and prepared the dish he embellished "Eel fried rice". He knew that this was her favorite, and wanted to make sure she got something in her stomach.

He was sitting on the sofa watching television when she came out, dressed in the clothes he had laid out for her. He almost busted a gut when he saw her in the tee shirt.

"What?" she asked looking around.

"Nothin'... just loving your new look. Food's on the stove."

He actually did love the way she looked; it made him feel like she belonged there, wings and all. But he hesitated to talk about it; he didn't want to put any pressure on her, considering the situation. So he bit his lip, and decided to keep it to himself for now.

After she ate and followed it up with a glass of cola, she let out a loud belching noise that only Shayera could make. John laughed knowing that she enjoyed the meal. She laughed with him because only he would find something as an innocent belch to be worthy of a belly laugh.

Shayera came over to the sofa, sat down beside him, and put her head on his shoulder. He smelled the fragrance from her hair, her body. Man! How I've missed that... She hadn't sat next to him like that since before the occupation.

"It's been awhile since I laughed like that," she noted.

"Me, too," he said with a look of sadness.

Shayera saw the look, and it confirmed the nightmares she'd been having since the Thanagarians arrived, since she betrayed him.

"John, ... we have to talk... but I need you to be honest with me."

"Ok..."

"I've been meaning to ask you... how did you find me?"

"I used my ring to analyze a sample of your blood, broke it down to your DNA, and used it to home in on you."

"Wow... sort of like a... beacon, huh?"

"Yeah... I guess I did..."

Shayera looked down as she place her hand on his...

"But... why?"

"I had to find you..." John shifted his gaze to look her in the eye. "I had to tell you how I felt..."

"Yeah, but... how can you still love me...?" she looked up into his eyes. "After what I did to you?

"After the pain... I put you through... there was no way that you deserved that." Shayera added. "And I would have understood if you didn't ever want to see me again..."

"I felt that way at first, but... I couldn't be without you. Don't you see, that I need you with me? Here. In my heart, all I know is that I felt empty without you, Shay."

"John, the pain is still there... in your eyes."

She got up and walked away from him toward the window, her shoulders slumped. "You don't need me, you need someone that can be honest and upfront with you. Someone you can trust. I didn't give you either."

"Yeah, but weren't there circumstances involved? What you're talking about is a normal relationship, but what we had was far from normal. It doesn't mean that we can't find a way to make it work." John deliberated.

"Can we? Without trust?"

"Trust can be earned..."

"I don't deserve to have someone like you... wanting me... loving me..." she sighed.

John walked over to her, put his arms around her, kissing the back of her head. "That sounds like guilt to me... and that's understandable."

"Is it...?"

"Yeah... and soon you'll get over it, as I will... with all that's happened."

"Maybe..."

John noted the change in her voice, more like a deep regret that could never be redeemed.

"You know that I forgave you, but I think you need to forgive yourself, first."

"John... you know that they're gonna keep coming for me, right?" She turned to face him, staring into his eyes. "They will never stop."

"What are trying to tell me?" John asked feeling more anxiety now.

"Nothing... I'm just tired..." she yawned.

"Come on... go get some sleep," he ordered.

"Ok..."

John walked her to the bedroom, watched her climb into the bed, and before he knew it she was sound asleep. He stood there watching her, wondering what was going on in that pretty little head of hers. For some reason he had a strange feeling that she wasn't going to stay with him, that she didn't want to cause him any more pain. It was a feeling he couldn't get rid of, even when he assured himself, that she wasn't causing him any pain. Is that why I hesitated about talking about our future?

John decided to shake it off, went into the bathroom, showered, dried himself off, and put on some sweats he had kept in his dresser. He walked over to the den area of the apartment, reached out, pointed his ring to the wall and recited his oath:

In Brightest Day...

In Blackest Night...

No Evil Shall Escape My Sight...

Let Those Who Worship Evil's Might...

Beware My Power...

Green Lantern's Light!

The lantern battery appeared and recharged his power ring. John exhaled slowly as he felt his whole body being charged up with the limitless power of Oa's main battery. It was good to be home again.

He went over to his sofa, stretched out across it, laying on his back, and closed his eyes. Just as he was about to fall asleep, he felt a pair of warm hands on his arm. When he opened his eyes he saw her with a slight smile reaching down to pull his hands up urging him upward off the couch. She then turned, her hand pulling his hand beckoning him back into the bedroom.

When he awoke, he had never felt better. His whole outlook on the latest events was starting to take a turn for the better. John couldn't remember the last time he woke up with a smile on his face. He rolled over to kiss the face of the woman he loved only to find that she wasn't there, her side of the bed was empty. He looked at the time, 17:48 was on the face of the clock. Wow...slept more than eight hours... The apartment was deathly silent.

"Hey... you could have woke a brother..." he stopped mid-sentence as he came out of the bedroom into the spacious front room. No Shayera. Bathroom?

She wasn't in the bathroom as well. What the... John was confused, she didn't mention she was going anywhere. Maybe she went to the Chinese restaurant. He walked over to the kitchen area, saw a slip of paper on the counter top. He excitely picked up the note hoping it would reveal when she was going to return. His expression slowly dissipated to shock as he read the note:

John,

I want you to know that I love you more

than anything in my life. I know that if I

had told you what I intended to do that you

would have talked me out of it. Everything

that has happened to us, the League, to this

planet is all because of me. When I look into

your eyes, I see the deep pain that I have

caused you, and I am so very sorry for that.

I've decided to surrender myself to my people

and face the tribunal. John, I need to pay for

what I've done, and I can't let you be in the

middle of it. Please forget about me, let me

go. Get on with your life, and find

someone that will give you what you deserve.

Please don't come after me, you're better off

without me.

Goodbye,

Shayera

No... not again...