Pokemon: The Mary Sue Years
By Sheik Lovin' 'Yaoi owns het and Mary Sues in every conceivable way' Rose-chan
DISCLAIMER: All your rights to Pokémon are belong to Nintendo. You have no chance to take credit make your time. Ha ha ha ha…
Vanatessa couldn't sleep. She was to start her Pokémon journey tomorrow, and she couldn't wait. She would receive her first Pokémon, even though she was so beautiful and smart she was Professor Oak's assistant (because no-one needs to know or care about what happened to Tracey) and so she knew she would get her pick of any of the pokémon the Professor kept.
Vanatessa was 16 years old – she had put back her journey so she could study pokemon and battle techniques (for 6 freakin' years! These authors need to come up with better excuses for not writing about 10 year olds) so she would be unbeatable in battle. Naturally she would be unbeatable anyway, because Vanatessa was beautiful and smart and everyone loved her far too much to defeat her in battle. Such a thing was unheard of.
She brushed her long, luminescent green hair, which had a tendency to shift colours depending on what the author felt like, and – due to her unusual heritage – her eyes also did the same thing. Her mother had been a first-class Mary Sue, and no male alive had been able to resist her. Vanatessa, of course, was much cooler and more beautiful and smarter than her mother had ever been despite the human blood in her veins, and you'll be seeing a lot more of 'beautiful' and 'smart' because that's what Vanatessa is. Eventually, because the author is now bored of writing this scene and wants to get to the Pokémon, she fell asleep and dreamed Mary Sue dreams.
The alarm clock screeched and Vanatessa awoke with a start.
"Oh no!" she cried, in her beautiful voice which could charm a Pidgey from its nest. "I overslept! Of all the generic cliché openings we could have – I mean, oh no!" Due to her ability to somehow oversleep even though the alarm clock had woken her up at the correct time, Vanatessa was now LATE! Her sense of urgency heightened by the caps lock, she scurried around trying to get dressed and pack her bags at the same time, a feat only accomplishable by a Greater or higher ranked Mary Sue – unfortunately, Vanatessa was only a n00blet Sue, and so she fell over as the readers cheered. Or pressed the back button because they're bored by now. I think we can all agree that this scene sucks so we'll just skip to the Lab.
"Ah, Tess! I was quite worried that you wouldn't show! One would think that after 6 years you'd be up bright and early for your Pokémon journey…"
Glaring at the old man for even daring to insult her – her! The main character! The star of the show! – Tess used her psychic powers she had had since she was a baby (and which will probably never be mentioned again) to make him forget what had just happened.
"Oh, Tessa! You're here early. Looking forward to your new Pokémon?"
"Of course!" She shrilled sweetly, smiling at the nicknames, which will now change randomly for the rest of the fic.
"Right this way, then," Oak said, leading her to where the Pokémon were kept.
"Because you've been studying so hard recently, and you've been such a great help, I've decided to reward you. Instead of the usual 3 starters, you can have the pick of any of the newborns from here."
"Wow, that's so cool! Thank you, Professor!" Vanny gazed at the baby pokémon, which were Mewtwo, Kyogre, Raikou, Rayquaza, Mew and…
"Is that Suicune!"
"Why, yes. It is," clarified Oak, before muttering to himself. "One would think how we have a baby Mew and Mewtwo would be a more pressing question…"
"I'll take her! She's soooo adorable!" Wincing slightly at Suicune now having a gender, Oak put on a strained smile and nodded. Taking out the baby legendary (and you're damned if you think you're getting an explanation) he presented her to Vanatessa, who hugged the tiny creature. "Would you like to give it – I mean, her - a nickname?"
Gazing into the eyes of her new Pokémon, Vanatessa nodded. "I'll call her Silversplash!"
"Well, that's over the ten character limit…but because it's you, Vanatessa, I'll allow that."
"Thank you, professor! Silversplash! I choose you!"
"Suicune!" Called out Vanatessa's first Pokémon, Silversplash!
And – because no self respecting Mary Sue fic gets past Generic Home Town after the first chapter – you may now all stop reading. And review. Reviews are always good.