This Is Where the Title Should Be

By Sheik Lovin' 'Updating MACHINE' Rose-chan

Disclaimer: Nintendo owns Pokemon. Pokemon owns me. We are very happy together.

Things were looking very good for Vanatessa. She already had some of the most cliché Pokémon out there, she had an angsty love interest, and she was already at the first Gym! According to the news there was a new leader at Viridian Gym after some fellow Mary Sues had forced Team Rocket out, and apparently the most powerful Sue in their group now ran it. Not that Vanatessa was worried, however; she was the main character. There was no way she could possibly lose because she was smarter and more beautiful than the rest of the entire population of the world put together.

Naturally.

Whoever this rival Sue was, she was going down. With her and Dan's powers combined, she was Captain Pla-uh, unstoppable. Marching boldly up to the big double doors with Dan trailing along after her, Tess was on top of the world and nothing would bring her down.

Except angsty male characters.

"Do you even know how powerful this Gym leader is? She's supposed to be the last one trainers face, not the first! She's one of the best trainers in my homeland-"

"Homeland?" Oh, yeah. She hadn't actually talked to Dan about who he was, where he came from or what Pokémon he had. But Mysterious Pasts were never mentioned right away, so that was okay.

"I come from Hoenn. Valtaria Lightstar is her name; she's the daughter of one of the Gym Leaders. She's been the Champion for the last 3 years, and she sort of disappeared with a band of travelling trainers who swore to take out Team Rocket." Even though Team Rocket doesn't exist in Hoenn. Plot Hole? You betcha.

"Huh. Silversplash and Flashfire can take her out!"

"Have you done any training whatsoever?"

"And I suppose you were taking a sightseeing trip to Pallet, right? Don't tell me you didn't come here to get the Earth Badge."

"Yeah, but I've finished the Hoenn and Johto areas and this is my last Badge. All with one Pokémon, as well," he added, with just a trace of smugness.

"Wow, Dan, you're super strong! But I can take you on right here, right now, and then this Val-whatever's next!"

Ebony eyes narrowed.

"You'll regret that."

TBC… (OMG THE DRAMA)

Not really.

"Yeah? Go, Silversplash!"

The legendary beast of water cried out her call as she faced down the mysterious trainer. (It/she's never seen Dan, remember?)

"You're in for a world of hurt! Go, Sid!"

The light of Dan's only Pokéball erupted and Vanny shielded her eyes, before seeing what Dan's so-called super powerful Pokémon was. It wasn't like anything she'd ever seen before; blue eyes gazed at her in defiance, taloned claws flexed as flames flared on the creature's wrists and a curved beak-

Aw hell, you all know what a Blaziken looks like.

This was too good. Tessa's 6 years of researching and studying had not gone to waste. Ignoring the contradiction it would make of 'it wasn't like anything she'd ever seen before', the blue haired beauty grinned at the pitiful excuse for a trainer.

"I have the advantage, Dan. Blaziken is part fire, and you just sent it out against the Lord of the Waters! That's like, the most basic thing that everyone knows. No-one's stupid enough to send out a fire type…"

"Sky Uppercut!"

"…against…huh?"

Because Blaziken is the pwnz0r of your ownz0rs, and the fact that this stupid Sue is really getting on my nerves, the fire chicken (laugh and die) had sent poor, innocent Silversplash into the sky with a powerful, well, uppercut. Landing heavily on her side with a cry, she was COMBO'D by the fighter in a series of alternating kicks and punches while Vanny just stood there with her mouth open. A final punch and Silversplash crashed down as the 1-up symbol appeared over her head as the music played.

Down and out.

"N…no! That's impossible!" (Darth Vader: NooOOOOOOoooooOOOOOooo)

Not good, not good…"Silversplash, return! Go, Flashfire!"

The tiny fox blinked up at his opponent, which towered over him. Just as his opponent began to make his move, however, screams and cries from within the Gym stopped both trainers in their tracks. There were several blasts from within and the whole building trembled, and people were running out of the Gym. Recalling Sid, Dan stopped the nearest person as Vanny sank to her knees in defeat.

"What's going on?"

"Some guys Tyranitar's gone berserk! It's Hyper Beaming everything in sight! Even Val can't stop it!"

A grin. "Quadruple fighting weakness? Bring it on."

"No." Vanatessa recalled Flashfire and she struggled to her feet. "It's my job. I'm the Sue." She was the star of the show. One not really defeat – he had recalled first! – wasn't going to stop her.

"It should be me."

TBC (OMG THE DRAMA)

A/N: The battle thing? I don't know where it came from, either. I have no idea why, but I imagine Dan to look like Kratos from Tales of Symphonia. It sort of…crept up on me. It can't be a good thing, though, because Kratos is teh suck. And now he gets to hang out with a Mary Sue.

Meh.

Thanks to: RI2 (Second-time reviewer! You, my friend, may have this cookie. Pikachu seems to be a favourite among Sues), choco aardvark (Your guess is as good as mine. Thanks for the review!), Katire StarDust (Well, I do have a character later on in the story who doesn't yet have a name…but that's in Saffron, and if I ever get that far then I'll be amazed. And what would a Mary Sue fic be without Pikachu?)

Next chapter: They actually go to the Gym for real, and it's Sue vs. Sue! Can Vanatessa overcome the Tyranitar and whatever I called the Sue leader with only one Pokémon? (Well, duh).