Boys Before Flowers
XLIII.
Dearest Mimi,
As you know, by the time you're back from school today we will have already left for Fiji. Please take care of yourself this week and over winter break; we have left you a little spending money in the cabinet, and safety money just in case you get into trouble (not that you will, of course). We've notified the school that you won't be present next Saturday for the concert. Also, we've left the phone number of Satoshi-oji, Hirahara-obaa, Takenouchi-san, Pajaro Verde (our hotel), our personal fax number, the number of our cruise company and our cruise captain's cell phone, our masseuse, our maid and our driving company, as well as the driver's extension. Please call if you need anything, or if you're lonely, or if you need more money (we weren't sure if ¥ 250000 would be enough). Take care of yourself, don't open the door for strangers and call Nanaka or Ikeda if you need noise in the house. We miss you, darling!
Love, Mom and Dad (kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss)
Note. We're so sorry we'll miss your concert. We'll make it up to you, somehow. Please do your best! We'll be home before New Year. Merry Christmas! Love again, Mom and Dad (kiss kiss).
XLIV.
"Yeah, it's pretty RADDU." Said Takeru, using American slang to the best of his knowledge (that is, poorly) and simultaneously evoking a laugh from Wallace. He spoke better English knowing that the person on the other end could speak Japanese. "More alternative. Like the Pillows or Art-School."
Actually, that was an overstatement.
"Sounds awesome. So, is there going to be digital feedback or what?"
"I think so. Toru –the lead guitarist? –has been speaking to Izumi, trying to go global on the 'net. And Izumi's pretty capable so yeah, you can probably count on it."
"Sweet."
"SWEET-U? Amai, ano…sugar?"
"Slang." Explained Wallace coolly, "It's like…'cool'."
"Oh, like cool. SWEET-U."
Again, Wallace laughed.
"Oh yeah." Takeru had a tendency to gush about his brother's band to anyone interested, and really, why shouldn't he? Teenage Wolves had been gaining immense popularity, especially in anticipation with the nearing season, "Tachikawa's singing at the Winter Concert too. She and Nii-chan are working on it together."
"Tachikawa? Oh, the one who lived in New York. She's pretty hot. This really sounds like a kickass show."
"KI-KASSU?"
"Slang. It's like 'cool' or 'sweet' but more hardcore."
"Oh, okay." He decided not to try again.
"Hey, so about Tachikawa and Ishida…"
"How did you hear about that?"
"Miyako, of course." Of course, thought Takeru. Wallace egged on, "So?"
"She's exaggerating. It's nothing big."
"Oh." He sounded disappointed, "Oh geez, Mom's talking long-distance bills. E-mail me about the show?"
"Count on it. Hey Wallace?"
"Yeah?"
"What does…SADIE MONKEY mean?"
"Sadie Monkey?"
"Yeah. It's the name of the concert."
"I've never heard it before… Gotta go, Takeru. E-mail me. Oh! Okay Mom! Bye."
"Ja."
XLV.
Mimi, although early enough, arrived at Hotel Vintage in Shinjuku –their current practice location of which Keitaro (unofficial budgeter) had complained for weeks –fashionably late. Yamato had expected no less. He was fingering over his acoustic guitar absently, three small piles of sheet music set neatly on a traditional table, his eyes frowning bright as he studied them.
"You're late." He didn't look up at her. Mimi smiled, settling on the tatami mat set beneath the table.
"But I'm still early. Are those my songs?"
"I don't know yet." Yamato frowned deeper, settling up to meet her gaze. He wore his uniform, white shirt rolled up at the sleeves and the black tie loosened at the collar that somehow made Mimi catch her breath. If Yamato noticed, he did not falter. "I've been working on these covers but…"
Mimi slid one of the piles to her side of the table.
"White Christmas?" She scrunched her nose, perusing the lyrics, "This isn't a love song."
Yamato shrugged, pulling the papers back and marking over them with his pencil. Mimi reached for another one.
"Akino Arai?" He looked up at the surprise in her tone, realized her shock, and found himself oddly embarrassed.
"Yeah."
"I never realized you liked her music."
Yamato shrugged again. Mimi glanced over the song.
"Can we try this one?" He hesitated, tentatively taking the sheet music from her hand and lifted his guitar, studying it with care.
"I guess." He pushed the music back to her, "the chords aren't complicated. Can you read music?"
"Of course."
He moved across the strings and she began to sing.
When Mimi sang, it was like catching that perfect ray of sunlight, piercing clean through the dark clouds of rain. Her voice was a smooth alto, neither too breezy nor too stark; the precise combination of innocence and sensuality that, when singing the right song, could bring children to silence and men to tears.
The song Yamato had chosen was called 'Vanilla', and although he knew it would not be the right song, his fingers moved along with the music and Mimi continued to sing. Her voice had not been spectacular in youth –Yamato had found it immature, evident of her sheltered upbringing and stringent technique. But now, it was as lucid and ethereal as a glass of water in the midst of falling. Except her voice never touched the ground. Did that make sense?
"Kumo de kara watashi ga mieru shisaku shisaku…"
From in the clouds
I am seen
thinking
thinking
The song was over before Yamato remembered it began. Mimi pursed her lips and, for once, waited for him to speak. Yamato said,
"It's not the right song."
"No." agreed Mimi.
"But…" He touched his forehead to see whether his face was hot, "But…it was beautiful."
Mimi actually blushed.
"Thanks." She pushed the sheet music back to his side of the table, and there settled in an awkward silence. Yamato still felt trapped by the song.
"Do you want something to drink?"
"Yes please."
He stood, leaning the guitar against the chair where he sat and traveling towards the kitchenette on the far side of the room. Once full of ice water (and now lacking in ice), the pitcher had sat for a good forty minutes. He poured slowly and carefully, not allowing what little chunks of ice left to splash, surprising even himself for his sudden attention to it. From the table, Mimi said,
"How did you know Akino Arai was my favorite singer?"
"You told me last year." He grasped the cups with either hand. "Let's try 'Daniel' next."
"I forgot that I told you." And she laughed sweetly, "It hasn't even been two years and it seems like a really long time ago."
Yamato set the glasses on the table and studied her. Something was definitely on her mind. But he lifted his guitar and, finding a second copy under his chair, pushed the first in front of her.
"It's in English." Mimi glanced over the lyrics, pushed her hair behind her ear and switched her gaze to him. For a moment, she didn't speak. Then she asked,
"Who is this?"
"Sakamoto Ma'aya." Yamato started the beginning chords of the song. It was a faster pace than 'Vanilla', with the characteristic charm of Sakamoto Ma'aya. Mimi had never heard this song –it was apparent in how her words stumbled in some places, and he slowed the tempo to accommodate her.
"Can you start over?"
He did. She nailed almost every note, strengthening with confidence with each bar. Yamato nodded in time as he moved over the strings, integrating himself with the music and Mimi's voice until only one entity existed.
"Who can I turn to? Love is not enough When love is not enough, what else matters?"
The song ended.
"What else matters?" Yamato asked himself.
His gaze shifted to Mimi who, by the look in her eyes, could not answer.
Reiichi burst into the room, breathing heavily.
"Sorry I'm late!" Yamato and Mimi whirled around, flustered, as if they had been doing anything but singing.
"Konbanwa, Reiichi-kun." Mimi covered sweetly, taking a sip of her water.
"Practice doesn't start for another hour." snapped Yamato, slightly annoyed and for no particular reason. At least one he was not willing to admit. Reiichi glanced at him, at Mimi, then at the two of them together. Then he checked his watch.
"Oh." He sighed heavily, "Well then. I'm going to go pick up some food. Ittekimasu."
"Itterashai." Mimi called after him and giggled quietly. Reiichi stopped in his tracks, turning a peculiar shade of pink.
"Oh Mimi-chan, would you like anything special?"
"Oh. Chief Salad, please?"
Reiichi, by the look on his face, did not understand. But he gave a flustered smile and graciously nodded, gently closing the door. Yamato leaned his guitar against the chair and cleared his throat.
"We'll see what the band thinks about 'Daniel'…"
"…but we can do better." She finished his sentence. Yamato nodded.
"Hey…"
"Yes?"
"What's a Chief Salad?"
"It's a salad with everything in it. I've eaten it before in New York and just got a craving."
"You mean Chef Salad?"
"Oh." Mimi tapped her chin thoughtfully, "I thought it sounded odd."
XLVII.
"Is she okay?"
"I think she's comatose."
Sora did, indeed, look comatose. She was so deeply asleep Hikari would, for her own peace of mind, stop whispering abruptly to hear her breathing. Koushirou watched also, cross-legged on the floor and fixated on her face, waiting for her eyelashes to flutter restlessly. Taichi seemed much less concerned. His arm was thrown casually around his girlfriend's shoulder as if she were three times as conscious and involved in the conversation.
"She's just tired." He said smoothly, "She has extra tennis practice now. There's some kind of tournament coming up and their new coach drives them pretty hard." He yawned, leaning his head back on the couch.
Hikari sighed,
"Some boyfriend you are, Taichi."
"Respect your elders." He stared placidly at the ceiling, "What's up, Koushirou?"
"I wanted to borrow your web camera."
"You want to borrow something computer-related from me?"
Koushirou pursed his mouth shut, a small vein pulsing on his temple which Hikari noticed though as expected, Taichi did not.
"I have quite a few web cameras, to be precise. However, I wanted to monitor the entire concert from a couple of different angles. Actually," Here, his voice took on a conspiratorial cast, and they leaned in close so as not to disturb Sora, "I'm not making any promises, but I have a few friends who work for Syncopation TV and are interested in the Christmas Concert. If they like the show, there's a chance Teenage Wolves could go national, maybe even global."
Even Taichi let out a loud 'wow' that stirred his girlfriend from her sleep. She looked blankly around the room in a daze.
"Foot fault?" She stood up and stumbled swiftly out of the apartment. Everyone stared after her. Seconds later, Taichi said,
"She forgot her shoes."
Hikari paused, went into the den and retrieved the web camera.
"Here, Koushirou."
"Thanks. The concert is on December 25th, right? I'll be busy with this project, so I'll see you then."
"Bye, Koushirou-kun."
"Ja, Koushirou."
He stood up and, with the web camera safely bundled in his arms, went to the foyer and put on his shoes. Then he opened the door.
"Taichi?"
"Huh?"
"I think Sora is comatose."
Laying out in their hallway as she was, arms bundled around her face, she did look comatose indeed.
Taichi blinked.
"I guess I'll walk her home then."
XLVIII.
"So you haven't decided on a song."
"Not yet."
"Yamato, the concert is in twelve days."
"I know."
Reiichi moseyed into the room, arms full of food.
"You're late." said Toru, fingering over some of the sheet music Yamato laid out for him. Reiichi struggled to look at his watch and sighed, depositing the food neatly on the floor.
"I was just picking up dinner." Then, with a sudden burst of energy, he dug through the bags and extracted a black container.
"One Chief Salad for Mimi-chan!"
Mimi and Yamato exchanged glances and laughed. Reiichi peered at them curiously.
"What?"
"Look," said Toru, "I don't mean to rush you, Yamato-"
"You can see Kabukicho from here…" Keitaro's face pressed against the window. Reiichi stopped mid-bite of modern yaki.
"Really?"
Toru coughed importantly.
"We really need to focus. We still have to decide a song order."
"Are we doing Hitoribocchi no SEESAW?"
Silence suddenly and rapidly engulfed the room. All eyes shifted to Yamato, except Mimi, who chose at that moment to use the restroom.
"I'm not sure," Toru chose his words carefully, "if it's really appropriate to the theme-"
"Sure, I'll sing it." said Yamato, casually as if tension was salt and he was throwing it over his shoulder. But the awkwardness of the instant subsisted, still. Mimi came out of the bathroom, flicking her honey brown hair over one shoulder with renewed composure.
"I was thinking. Why don't I sing three songs?"
Toru made a face that looked as though he would cough up a vital organ. He made that face often, in the final days before a show.
"Three?"
"We can practice 'Come Home Lion' like last concert, 'Daniel' is an easy duet, and last song is up to Yamato-kun. That way, everyone will be satisfied."
"Do we have time to practice a new song?" said Keitaro.
"We have time." Yamato said suddenly. Everyone's eyes shifted to him. "I think it's a good idea."
"If Mimi-chan wants to do another song, let's do our best." said Reiichi.
"Worse comes to worse, we only get one new song, but it's better than nothing." agreed Keitaro.
Toru looked between everyone. And sighed.
"Alright, we'll do three songs." Everyone clapped cheerfully. Toru ran a hand through his hair.
"Somehow, this doesn't make any sense." He cleared his throat, "But, you'd better get your act together, Yamato."
"Fine." he said.
Toru studied him seriously, then went to join Reiichi and Keitaro at the window. Yamato sighed. Mimi took a seat beside him.
"If you're interested," she said quietly, "I have some Akino Arai CDs at my house. If we take the Saikyo, it won't be too long…"
Yamato and Mimi grabbed their coats and scarves.
"Hey, we're running an errand."
"But…Mimi-san-"
"It'll only take a minute!" she chirped, winked and shut the door. Toru looked as though he might jump out of a window.
"Itterashai." called Reiichi.
"It'll only be a minute. We have a lot of time." Keitaro said.
Toru twitched slightly. It was as if something had suddenly snapped.
"PRACTICE!" he screeched, charging for his guitar, "PRACTICE!"
"He's lost it." said Reiichi.
The phone rang.
Keitaro answered it while Reiichi watched Toru continue with his nervous breakdown.
"Hey. Guys?"
No response.
"Guys?"
Nothing still.
"GUYS!"
Toru and Reiichi turned abruptly. Keitaro sighed.
"It's the front desk. On Air East is on line eight."
XLIX.
Mimi, for whatever reason, blushed when Yamato guarded her from the traffic of the train, flustered when he touched her arm walking down the busy streets and now, felt butterflies kicking in her stomach as went into the small elevator and started upward.
They rode to the ninth floor uninterrupted. Mimi unlocked the door; the apartment was quiet and unusually dark.
"Are your parents home?" Yamato inquired.
"Nope. They went to Fiji for winter vacation. I decided to stay." She turned on the lights while Yamato hesitated with his words.
"If this is about the concert…"
"Nope." She turned and smiled, "I just wanted to stay."
There was an awkward silence. Mimi perked and started towards her room.
"My music's in here."
She started towards the tower of discs lined vertically on her wall and headed directly for her section of favorites. She plucked three albums from the stack and turned, crashing into Yamato whose presence, as it often did, went undetected to her.
"Um, here. We can scan these."
She edged past him, nervous by his silence for whatever reason, and towards the CD player. Delicately moving a few stuffed animals making shelter on top of it, she inserted the first disc and pressed play. Akino Arai filled the air.
"You can sit on my bed, if you want." Yamato hesitated, then sat. Mimi chose to sit on the floor and man the music instead. She shifted through the songs. There was nothing suitable. Mimi popped in another CD and scanned through those as well.
"Hear anything good?" Yamato shook his head.
"Can I take a look?"
"Mm."
He moved silently to her favorites collection, looked it over, then moved thoroughly to the right, checking the top and bottom until he removed one CD, replaced it, took out another, checked the track list, then handed it to her. Mimi looked it over.
"Noir?"
"Try the fourth one." He said.
Mimi gave him a lingering glance of confusion, then placed it in the CD player. He took a seat on the bed and she joined him, listening to the music. It was not the right song.
"How about the last one."
Mimi tuned to the last song on the CD.
Sotto furerarete kono hoho no tsumetasa ni yatto kidzuita
"It's kind of slow..." said Mimi.
"Mm." said Yamato.
"But..." She blinked, as if in disbelief, "It's...perfect."
"Yeah. Yeah, I think it is."
They glanced at each other and smiled.
"So this is it then."
"Kirei na Kanjou." Mimi said, "Kind of fitting."
Yamato looked as though he might inquire why when his cell phone rang. He stood, groping his pockets for the device, put it to his ear.
"Oy, Toru. What's up?"
He paced thoughtfully, as Mimi recalled those two years ago, when an idea raced through his mind. Yamato continued to nod, when he stopped suddenly, eyes widening at silent news.
"What?" he said.
"What is it?" She mouthed.
"What?" Yamato repeated into the cell phone. "Serious? You aren't shitting me? Yeah, yeah I'll tell her." He hung up without another word. At this point, Mimi could barely contain herself.
"What did he say?"
Yamato flopped on the bed, a strange expression on his face.
"There was a cancellation at On Air East for December 25th and they need a band to fill the 8:30 to 11:30 time block. Apparently, the director heard about our band and asked if we could play there, short-notice, instead of at Radio-Magi."
Mimi felt suddenly short of breath.
"Oh." She said.
"Oh." Yamato repeated.
"That's almost…" She counted on her mentally on her fingers, "…eight-hundred more people."
"Mm."
She tipped backwards in a giggling fit, stretched across her bed as her stomach heaved up and down. Yamato watched her in the corner of her eye, his smallest smile in the corner of his mouth.
"YAATTA!" she shrieked, "On Air East is one of the best rock venues in Tokyo!"
"Yeah."
"If you go there, you're bound to be signed!"
"Yeah."
Mimi's high spirits died rapidly. Even for Yamato, his sudden lack of enthusiasm seemed uncharacteristic.
"To get a record deal…to perform in front of millions of people…isn't that what you want?"
"I guess." He shrugged, standing, shoving his fingers into the pockets of his black uniform trousers, "Everything is so complicated. If we're signed, and more people want our music…with this, and everything now it makes me feel like…it's time to move on…"
His voice trailed into silence, for a moment. Mimi felt as if she had eavesdropped on a secret conversation she was never meant to hear. Yamato wanted to quit the band?
"So," He started up again, moving into his regular pace as if the conversation had been part of a television drama and he had just as easily turned the channel, "if you have sheet music, find it quick and let's get back to Toru before he tries to commit suicide, or something."
Mimi's eyes blurred over, though she did not know why.
"Right." She warbled to her feet as Yamato left her room, covering her mouth with her hand. She felt as if he had piled a whole world of emotions on her shoulders; so much more than war was riding on the outcome of the concert now.
What does it matter, she thought, if he quit the band? But she couldn't shake the feeling. She felt partially responsible, as if her complicating matters had diverted him from the path to happiness.
Mimi reached into the drawer and withdrew the sheet music with a hard swallow. She would have to do her best, no doubt about it. She couldn't have him be unhappy, not if she made him that way, not if it was her fault.
Yamato glanced into the room.
"Got it?"
"Yes."
"Let's go then. We've got a lot of practice to do."
"Yes, we do."
Mimi turned off the light and shut the bedroom door.
L.
"Anyway," said Jun, "with the concert only ten days away and the venue changing, it's bound to be a lot of work and you'll undoubted need all the extra help, so I was just wondering how I could be of service to the band."
"We really don't need any help, Motomiya." said Matsubara stringently, "Really."
"Can I talk to Yamato-kun? He might have a second opinion."
"Yamato and Tachikawa are in the midst of artistic correlation."
Jun bit her tongue.
"What?"
"He's-"
"Oy, Toru. Have you seen the…" Yamato peeked from behind a closed door. His crystalline blue eyes met with hers and Jun believed, for a fraction of a second, that she heard his heart beat wildly in his chest at the sight of her.
"Yamato-kun!" squealed Jun.
Yamato slammed the door shut. A click soon followed.
"Oh!" She swooned, "He's so shy. Yamato-kun, unlike some members of the band, is a true artist. Although he sings with such passion on the stage, his sensitive nature is too much for this world, and he cannot cope with the rest of our trivial, commonplace emotions."
She began to sing a very poor rendition of 'Vincent' when Matsubara quickly interrupted her.
"Look, if you really want to help, you'll hang up these posters around Amagasaki and Todai."
"Anything for Yamato-kun."
"Glad to see you're such a fan of the band." Matsubara grumbled sourly and returned his attention to his guitar as Jun took the posters into her arms and headed for the door.
"I won't let you down, Yamato-kun!" she shrieked. "Fear not, MY SWEET-U DARLING! I will display these posters with all my love!"
LI.
Yagami and Takenouchi walk home together on Thursdays.
"I'm worried about Mimi-chan." says Sora. "She's been very cold to Yamato lately."
"What's strange about that?" Taichi scratches his nose, "Hmm. But somehow, I know what you mean. (Sora sweatdrops) Everything will work out, though."
"Are you sure?"
"Mostly."
Sora sweatdrops again.
"'Mostly' is not very comforting."
Taichi shrugs.
"It can't be helped."
LII.
Friday. 8 days left.
Yamato finishes arranging the music for Kirei na Kanjou. Reiichi comes down with the flu. Toru makes him practice anyway, but keeps Yamato and Mimi out of the room. Keitaro complains of On Air East expenses. Everyone visits the venue. No more complaints about the venue are issued.
Saturday. 7 days left.
After a twelve hour practice session, Teen-age Wolves master 'Daniel' and 'Come Home Lion'. Toru buys beers all around, and (much to his dismay) no practicing gets done. Reiichi, still sick, worsens his state with alcohol and throws up. Keitaro takes him home. Toru tries to jump off of the building. Yamato stops him.
Sunday. 6 days left.
Reiichi and Keitaro have hangovers. Toru is on mandatory bed rest. Yamato works with Koushirou on web coverage and lighting. Mimi orders Teen-Age Wolves SADIE MONKEY tee-shirts on Rush Delivery. Nearly a quarter of the tickets are sold.
Tuesday. 4 days left.
Seiwa High School is a buzz with excitement for the concert. I guess the 'war' was good for publicity, says Toru. Idiot, says Yamato. But it's true, says everyone else.
Teen-age Wolves meet with their opening bands: Kazan-Kirin and Dime-a-Dozen. Reiichi hits on a female guitarist, then later apologizes to Mimi. Why, Mimi asks, are you apologizing to me?
Wednesday. 3 days left.
Teen-age Wolves master Kirei na Kanjou. Other songs need fine tuning. Toru tries to jump off of the building. Yamato stops him. Is Toru-kun normally this suicidal, asks Mimi. Mostly on Wednesdays, says Reiichi. Nearly half the venue is sold out.
Thursday. 2 days left.
Toru finalizes the song order. Reiichi has made a miraculous recovery and suggests he buy some drinks. Everyone declines. Keitaro works with the lighting managers. Tee-shirt orders arrive. They made a mistake, yells Toru, these shirts are black and pink! Mistake, asks Mimi, what mistake?
Jyou calls. News of the SADIE MONKEY concert hit Tokyo University; lots of students are buying last minute tickets. More than three-quarters of the tickets are sold out. Teen-age Wolves is featured in the entertainment section of Odaiba Voice newspaper. It's all about the music, says Keitaro, when everyone is cheering for us, our music plays through their voices. We're really just the instruments, says Yamato.
Jun buys eighteen tickets so that, with less people, Yamato can see her better. Yamato tries to jump off of the building. Keitaro stops him.
Friday. 1 day left.
Yamato and Mimi are on mandatory vocal rest. Class 2-E is filled with good luck flowers; Mimi thanks everyone silently. The band has a final day of practice. Everyone goes to bed early. It's the middle of the night. Mimi can't sleep.
LIII.
Natsuko opened the door.
"Yamato?"
"Okaa-san." He said, "Can I talk to you?"
She blinked, trying to adjust to the light of the hallway. It was, she knew without checking a clock, three in the morning. Her son looked at her, subdued in his interest as usual, and as hard to read as he had always been. She stepped aside, muffling her yawn with the sleeve of her yukata.
"Come inside."
Yamato stepped into the apartment as his mother shut the door quietly behind her; Takeru was, thankfully, a deep sleeper. It smelled much cleaner than his father's apartment; tea and open air, mostly, and clean laundry. He sat down at the table and his mother, hair bunched with clips and less polished than he had ever remembered, moved to the kitchen to make tea. Once it was started, she sat across from him.
"What's wrong? Did Takeru or Hiroaki…your father, tell you something?"
"No. I just…need to talk."
"Alright." There was a momentary jump in her stomach, "I'm listening."
And then he told her.
He told her about the band, school, the condition of his apartment and the feeling of living alone. Most of all, he told her about Mimi. About his insecurities around her and the insatiable, unavoidable constancy of her presence. About the promise he made and broke. About the see-saw, two years ago, and earlier, seven years ago. About On Air East, nearly a week before.
Natsuko listened attentively, asked small questions where appropriate and nodded with deep interest. She did not move, even when the water rolled to a boil, until Yamato had finished. Only then did she make two scanty cups of tea with what water had not evaporated (earl gray, Yamato's favorite, she knew, and green tea for herself). They drank in silence. An hour had passed.
"Mm." she said, after a while, "I guess you've really…"
"Grown up?"
"A little." Natsuko smiled, "But you're mostly the same. At your age, I can't tell you anything you don't already know, somewhere."
She smiled.
"Do you remember what Papa Michel used to say?"
"The story about trees or…"
She shook her head.
"Ice. It's not the easiest thing to love, you know. It's beautiful, but cold to the touch and hard to hold on to. Do you know what your father told me, the day I filed for divorce?"
Yamato shook his head.
"He said…I always felt like you were slipping away. We can't always be frozen, Yamato. Sometimes, we just have to melt. It's not the end of the world, just another way of life, that's all."
She drank the last of her tea, lukewarm and particularly strong, by now.
"Is that all you wanted to say?"
"Yes." he said quietly.
"Alright. Get some sleep and don't worry about school, today. You can stay here if you want."
"I need to go home." He said. He took his cup and hers, washed them both out in the sink and replaced them, knowing exactly where she kept the cups. Then he padded quietly to the door. Natsuko saw him out.
"Bye, Mom."
"See you tonight, Yamato."
"Thanks."
He hesitated, fiddling his way down the hall.
Natsuko watched her son disappear. Yamato, like she, had always been cold to the touch. Unlike Hiroaki and Takeru, who were warm and earthy, Yamato had inherited her cool, her intelligence and her glacial blood, an ice cold attitude that could hardly be warmed.
There's only so much help anyone can give, she thought. I just hope he can open up, in time.
She pressed her cold hands to her face and, in small desperation, sighed.
LIV.
Up. Down. They watched each others' face slide higher into the night air and dip down in one clean, breezing motion.
"Did you use the seesaw when you were little?" Mimi asked. Her cheeks were fresh and pink still from the party at Taichi and Hikari's apartment.
"No."
"I did. I would be here all by myself and…" She pushed her hair behind her ear before she lofted downward, "I would wait for someone to come and play with me."
"Weren't you lonely?"
"Yeah." Mimi paused as Yamato balanced out their weight. She remained slightly higher, her tiptoes brushing across the dewy grass. "I would wait all day, sometimes. The seesaw was my favorite, and I wanted to ride it a lot."
She smiled.
"I knew I had to be lonely sometimes if I wanted to have fun, sometimes."
It took Yamato by surprise and, at eleven-years-old, he couldn't be sure why. He tried to cover up the awkward silence by talking quickly.
"Takeru liked the seesaw, but I didn't." Yamato grinned in the corner of his mouth, rocking slightly on the balls of his feet, "When we moved to Kawada, right before the divorce, I was old enough to take Takeru to the playground alone. There was never anyone at the park in front of our apartment complex, or anyone on the seesaw, either. I don't think I really understood how it needed two people."
"Too bad you weren't here." Mimi giggled quietly, "You would have seen me, and we could have ridden together. Then neither of us would be lonely."
"Yeah." He leaned forward, thoughtfully, "It's almost eight o' clock. We should go home."
"I guess you're right." Mimi steadied herself to climb off of the seesaw, "Ready? One…two…three!"
Both children jumped off of the seesaw. Yamato landed with grace but Mimi tumbled quickly backwards. In that next instance, he had leapt to her side, offering her a hand up.
"Are you alright?"
"I'll probably have a grass stain, but otherwise…" She made a victory sign, bit her lip and smiled, opting to stay in the grass, "Let's make a promise, Yamato-kun."
"A promise?" He inquired, pushing blonde hair from his eyes as he sat with her.
"Let's meet back here in seven years, on this same night, when you're eighteen and I'm seventeen, so we can ride the seesaw together again."
"That sounds okay." Even so, Yamato sounded dubious. "What happens if you don't make it?"
"If I don't make it…" She smoothed her skirt in thought, "If I don't make it, I'll dress like Taichi for a year." Either of them burst out laughing.
"And if I don't make it?" Yamato inquired once their giggling had died down.
"If you don't make it…you have to…marry me!"
"Marry you?" He squeaked out.
"Yeah." She looked right at him and, through the darkness, gave off a faint blush.
"Why do you want to marry me?" he asked.
"It makes sense, doesn't it? We can ride the seesaw together, whenever we want, and never be lonely. Besides, it doesn't matter because you'll be here, right? You won't break your promise?"
She offered her pinky. He took it.
"I won't break my promise."
"Good." And while he was off-guard, she leaned forward and quickly kissed him. Yamato erupted red almost immediately, losing any form of capable thought despite himself. He leaned backward into the grass, and Mimi smiled innocently, unphased.
She's probably kissed lots of boys, Yamato thought. This did not make him feel much better though again, at his age, he could not be sure why.
Mimi smiled and, more gracefully than she had fallen, pulled herself up.
"Let's go home, Yamato-kun." She started off towards the sidewalk. Yamato brushed off his jeans and hesitated.
"I must be crazy." He said to himself, something he had taken to saying often, and more so when he thought about Mimi Tachikawa.
Then he noticed she had reached the sidewalk and jogged after her.
LV.
The park, at that hour, was dark and cold. Mimi sat bundled in her jacket on the seesaw, starring out into the spotted glow of Minato, Tokyo Tower rising in glory above the skyline, everything glistening and at peace.
"Don't stay out so late." Mimi did not have to turn to know who it was. Yamato came around side of her and stood at the opposite side of the seesaw. Somehow, she was not surprised to see him.
"I know." She said serenely. "Are you going to sit down?"
He hesitated, then sat. Mimi pushed off, sending them lightly up and gently down. Up and down. Up. Down.
"Why are you all the way over here?" he asked.
"I came to see Sora, but she wasn't awake."
"No wonder."
Silence.
"Do you remember when we made our promise?" she asked.
"Yeah."
"When I said that you had to marry me if you forgot, did you think I was joking?"
"Yeah." He studied her briefly, "Were you?"
Mimi shook her head.
"No. I really did." She laughed, "I was just a silly girl."
Yamato stared at her. Mimi squirmed under his luminous eyes, reflecting the wolf in his character and, this she thought for sure, the flower in hers. Beautiful, yes. Delicate, yes. Fleeting, yes. Hard to take care of. Unable to withstand winter.
Mimi sighed.
"Are you still planning to move on?"
He opened his mouth as if to say something, then averted his gaze.
"Well?"
"I don't know. I can't say anything for sure, anymore."
She frowned deeply, annoyed with his indecision, his apparent nonchalance, the way he slipped out of everything, nor committed to anything. She sighed again.
"Anyway, I'm going to go. It's getting pretty late. Ready?"
They counted off.
One. Two. Three.
Neither moved. Mimi stared, hesitated, then giggled nervously. But Yamato remained soundless, the kind of penetrating quality in his gaze that made her feel suddenly naked and cold. And a sadness, too –the sadness at seeing dying flowers or a funeral procession. Her giggling stopped abruptly.
All was quiet, and yet nothing felt at peace, anymore.
She asked, "Are you sorry for me?" Everything –the park, the city, and most especially, the seesaw –seemed entirely still. "Because I don't want your pity."
"I'm not." He said.
Mimi dithered, then slid off of the seesaw. The weight distributed gently over the whole of his foot on the other side, his eyes watching with an indiscernible, though not necessarily cruel, silence.
"I'm going." She announced quietly, starting off in the direction of the street. Mimi paused, even before she found the path, and turned halfway around. "It was a silly promise, anyway."
Then she went on without looking back.
What did I expect, she wondered. Mimi waited for Yamato's footsteps to come after her, thundering perhaps to catch up, or his usual casual saunter, or his brisk step whenever he felt nervous. But none such came. All she could hear, in the darkness behind her, was the rustle of grass and a few clustered cicadas. And the seesaw's tiny rocking, the sound she knew so well. One person on the loneliest side, waiting for something.
Mimi took a deep breath, pushed her hands into her pockets and hummed into the brisk air.
mada shiranai nanimo
kokoro ga motomete'ru mono
shiranai no
I don't know anything yet. What the heart is seeking, I don't know.
End of Chapter VII.
Notes.
The song Mimi first 'sings', called Vanilla, is available on Akino Arai's CD Eden. As far as its translation…um…I don't speak Japanese so…I did the best I could? The second, Daniel, is available on the combination Ma'aya Sakamoto + Yoko Kanno CD 23 no Onijaku (a really, really, really good CD).
¥250000 is roughly 2,500.
Just a note: school is on Christmas because in Japan (or so I've read), Christmas is not a major, vacation justifying event (though there is a winter vacation). It's more of a…let's go out and celebrate tonight type thing. I think.
Modern yaki, the dish Reiichi was eating, is like a yummy, crispy, fried-noodle pancake. At least, that what it looked like to me.
Kabukicho is the most famous red-light district in Tokyo. Where all the prostitutes are. Yay, prostitutes! No, I'm not serious.
Hotel Vintage is an actual hotel in Shinjuku. Never been there, but I did see a picture. Once.
Likewise, On Air East is an actual concert venue in Tokyo. It is, allegedly, one of the best rock venues in Tokyo, also.
Yatta means something along the lines of 'yay', 'yes' or 'you/I/we did it'.
As far as Toru constantly trying to jump off of the building…well, I don't think he actually tried to jump. He probably just kept going up to the roof to think and everyone started screaming "don't jump!". And then Yamato would tackle him, or something. I don't know.
Okay, I lied. I'm really, really sorry. One more. Soon. Very soon. Half way done. Scouts honor.
Artemis
But for now…
Here is a teaser from the final installment of Boys Before Flowers.
Toru strums his guitar nervously, playing over a riff and realizing he has yet to put the instrument in tune.
"Where are they? Did anyone call yet?"
"Hey," says Keitaro, returning from the left wing, "the crowd seems anxious. I can't believe it, but it looks like a full house."
"All the more to beat us up, my dear."
"I'll call them again." Reiichi moves into the back room.
Outside, the noise of the music begins to fade, replaced instead by the vociferous screaming of the audience. Kazan-Kirin's bassist Dido speaks to the crowd in muffled tones; her voice is tired, but she is maintaining her enthusiasm. Toru leans his guitar haphazardly onto its stand and grabs his coat.
"Yamamoto-san, can you please have Kazan-Kirin play a few more songs?" The stage manager exits into one of the wings with a nod. Toru pushes a hand through his hair; sweaty now, it spikes up. He shuffles quickly for the back door, hoping not to be noticed. His heart is screaming.
"Yamato, you bastard…"