Chapter 5 - The Trouble With Ron

Hermione stared at the notice board. 'Am I reading this right?'

She waited for an answer but none came. She turned around and saw Harry sitting in an armchair, staring blankly into the fire, then she looked at Ron who was standing next to the fireplace with his hands in his pockets, his eyes fixed to the floor. Hermione couldn't tell whether they were horrified or embarrassed or silently disturbed by the fact that they had to study the subject of sex. She found it rather amusing to watch. Harry and Ron, not sex.

She turned her attention back to the notice. There was information written in neatly scrawled handwriting underneath the heading, which read:

To all 5th Years and above,
As you know by now, the subject of Sex Education has been added to your timetable, where you will have one lesson per week. Over the past few years, the Board of Governors have been willing to introduce this subject to the school after the muggle and wizarding communities wanted to raise awareness about the effects and dangers of sex after an increase in unfortunate incidents over the past five years (especially in the muggle world).

Parents of students also agree to the addition of the subject because it may prove vital to their children's actions in the future.

Lessons will only include students (of both genders) from their own house. Lessons will take place in their House common rooms.

Yours Sincerely,
Professor Albus Dumbledore (Headmaster)

Hermione stood thinking for a moment. Time for a little joke, she thought, deviously. Hermione smiled evilly in her best friends' direction.

'Have you read this, Ron?' she queried, pointing to the notice. Ron nodded.

'I guess your mum and dad never read about this kind of stuff, what with having seven children.'

Harry sniggered, stopping himself before Ron had chance to hit him. Ron lifted his head sharply, and looked mortified at the thought of his mum and dad at it. 'Shut up Hermione!'

No way, she couldn't leave it at that! She wanted to see Ron cringe. This was fun.

'Seven kids. That's a lot of sex!'

Harry couldn't hold it in and burst out laughing. Ron, however, was not amused. A look of disgust spread across his face and he looked as though he was about to be sick.

'I'm off to bed,' he mumbled, trying not to open his mouth in case he was sick, and hurried over to the staircase, disappearing from sight.

'You are too cruel,' stated Harry, shaking his head but still grinning.

'But did you see Ron's face? It was just a bit of harmless fun.'

'I don't know about harmless. If he hadn't looked like he was about to throw up, he would've whacked me and yelled at you.'

It was Harry's turn now for a bit of mental trauma. 'Do you think there will be an exam?'

Suddenly, the grin was wiped off his face. An exam? About Sex?

'An exam? I hope not.'

'Every other subject has an exam, so why not this one?'

'It'll be bad enough studying for it, let alone taking an exam, asking questions about where to put -' Harry spluttered, stopping before he embarrassed himself even more. His friend smirked. 'What if you got an answer completely wrong? I bet the teacher marking it would have a good laugh and a joke about it.'

The colour in his face seemed to have drained in an instant, as he quickly remembered that none of the students had been notified on who were taking the lessons. ' Who's teaching it anyway?'

Hermione looked back at the board. 'It doesn't say.'

'Oh no. I hope to God it's not Snape,' he said, suddenly tearing his eyes away from Hermione as Ginny appeared from the portrait hole, rushing over to the notice board with excitement. Hermione noticed too and watched with Harry as Ginny searched the notice board excitedly, before slowly turning a shade of green as she had found what she had been looking for.

'Everything all right, Ginny?' Hermione asked, wondering why her friend was looking so queasy when she usually seemed fine with the subject.

Ginny jumped, not realising that they were standing just a few feet away.

'Not really. It's not the subject that worries me, they could show me x-rated photos, ask me embarrassing questions, even make me do a demonstration of giving birth...' Ginny explained, walking towards them, 'It's the great fact that the lesson includes my beloved brother, and, no doubt, that's going to be a cauldron of delights.'

Hermione awoke the next morning feeling excited, anticipating the new year's school work that was waiting for her. Harry and Ron, however, looked completely apathetic when she saw them walking down from their dormitories, but she knew the real reason why they weren't enthusiastic. They were dreading the Sex Education class, whenever that was. However, when they saw Hermione, Harry and Ron cheered up instantly although she could tell they were both putting on a brave face.

'Looking forward to the lessons?' Hermione questioned as they entered the Great Hall, walking between the Gryffindor and Ravenclaw tables.

'I suppose,' Harry answered, 'New lessons, new spells to learn. Just not looking forward to the homework and Potions, obviously. No doubt Snape will be his usual greasy-haired self. Git.'

They seated themselves at the Gryffindor table, and began to fill their plates for breakfast. Ron seemed to be keeping quiet. This wasn't usual Ron behaviour. He usually moaned before the start of any lesson.

'What about you, Ron? Looking forward to lessons?' Hermione asked, but before Ron could even look up, Professor McGonagall was standing over him.

'Here, Mr Potter, Mr Weasley and... Miss Granger,' said McGonagall, passing their timetables to them. Ron didn't dare look at his timetable in the hand, which caused Hermione to laugh aloud.

'What are you laughing at?' bellowed Ron angrily.

'You! You won't even look at the timetable! You look as though you're worried the Sex Education class is going to jump on top of you. Well, not literally anyway.'

Ron glared at her, whilst blushing with embarrassment. 'So? It doesn't mean anything!'

'Yes it does. You're too scared to see when a lesson is scheduled. You're just being ridiculous!'

'I'll look at it later,' His face the colour of a postbox now.

'I'd look at it if I was you, Ron. Oh, what's this here? Last lesson today?.'

'Oh ha ha, Hermione. I know you're just trying to annoy me.'

'Ron, she isn't kidding,' Harry jumped in, not looking too pleased himself.

He looked down at the timetable, then jerked his head up quickly. 'Today?' Ron pushed his plate away. 'Oh, why didn't I bring some of Fred and George's sweets with me? I could've slipped in a Nosebleed Nougat before it started to get a bit... gory.'

'I don't see what the big deal is, Ron. It's only sex.'

Ron's ears went pink as he choked on a piece of toast. 'I am not making a big deal out of it! Shut up about it, will you?'

Hermione raised her hands to signal that she wouldn't say another word on the matter. She wondered why he was so embarrassed about it. Was it nerves? Was he really scared about learning the facts of life, the birds and the bees? Hermione was determined to find out sooner or later, preferably sooner.

After breakfast, they walked into the Entrance Hall, heading towards the oak front doors. They were just about to step outside when someone shouted 'Hey, Weasley!'

Ron didn't bother to stop and look round, he just carried on walking to reach the stone steps outside. Hermione turned around to see it was Draco Malfoy, but she too continued to walk, following Ron and trying to ignore the shouts that dogged their steps

'Hey, Weasley!' repeated Malfoy, once again. He had almost caught up to them, flanked, as usual, by his two cronies, Crabbe and Goyle. Hermione, Harry and Ron stopped this time.

'What?' said Ron agitated, swinging around to face them.

'I was just saying to Crabbe and Goyle that they new class years ago. That way, you might not have been around, Weasley.'

Ron was just about to punch Malfoy when Hermione stepped in the way, as a small crowd gathered to see what the fuss was about.

'I agree, Malfoy,' Hermione interrupted. He looked startled and disgusted that she was agreeing with him. 'Well, I just want to say that that was a very mature thing to say, Malfoy. I'm very impressed that a young gentleman such as yourself is so understanding when it comes to the need for sexual protection. Tell me, have you taken a particular interest in this, or is this just a natural responsible attitude.'

There was a roar of laughter from most of the crowd, apart from the few Slytherins. Malfoy glared at the crowd around him, very annoyed at their reaction.

'I'll get you back, mudblood!' He turned on his heel and began walking to the entrance doors.

'Oi, Malfoy!' shouted Harry, seething at his last comment, 'Why don't you go home and cry to your dad. Oh, wait, isn't he in Azkaban for being a Death Eater?'

There were a few gasps from the crowd, several people began pointing and muttering. Malfoy suddenly spun round and had just begun to stride over to Harry when something pulled on the back of his robe, stopping him.

'What do you think you are doing, Mr Malfoy?' demanded Professor McGonagall, still holding on to his robes.

'Nothing, Professor,' he muttered.

'Well, in that case, get to your lesson. Now.'

Malfoy gave the trio one last evil glare before stalking off back inside the castle.
'The same goes for you lot, too,' McGonagall told the now dispersing crowd.

Hermione, Harry and Ron began walking down the stone steps along with a small group of students following behind and once they were out of earshot of Professor McGonagall, they began to discuss what had just happened.

'If Malfoy says one more nasty remark, I will curse him!' Harry declared angrily.

'Me, too!' agreed Ron.

'You know that's not a good idea. If you curse Malfoy, you might get expelled. You don't want to give him that satisfaction. But I do agree, he deserves a good kick up the -'

'Hermione! Don't say such vulgar things, it's very unlike you,' joked Ron, at last a smile cracked his face.

They had reached Greenhouse number 3 where there was a small crowd of fellow 6th years huddled in front of the door, many whispering excitedly.

'What's going on?' Ron asked Dean Thomas as the crowd began to disperse.

'Lesson's cancelled. Sprout's ill so we'll start next week instead.'

Harry and Ron gave each other a high five while Hermione stood, looking disappointed.

'Double period as well,' cheered Ron, 'Brilliant!'