Summary: Will Mac offer her help in a situation that is slightly too close to home for comfort? She may just learn something about herself along the way…
AN: Just a short fic I came up with while recovering from jetlag and writer's block…
Spoilers: None, this story doesn't have a certain timeline setting.
Disclaimer: JAG belongs to Don P. Bellisario, Bellisarius Productions and the peeps at CBS.
Rating: PG-13 or T: Some emotive issues involved. Slightly H/M shippery.
If you think you'll be easily upset, turn back…
"Just this way, Colonel. The last doorway on the left."
I nod my head, remaining silent, even as I nearly trip up on the corner of carpet that has been pulled back from the floor through years of wear. I carefully step over the many objects that litter the path we walk along.
"Please excuse the mess," Paula Mason apologizes, softly, explaining, "We're full to capacity…"
I nod, smiling understandingly. There are too few places like this for the many who need them. No wonder they're full to capacity. Paula is a real-life angel.
As I follow the tiny, swift woman down the dark, narrow corridor, I can't help but think about the events of the past few days that led up to this moment…
Three days before…
"Ma'am, there's a call for you on line one," PO Coates informs me, as I return from court.
She still has the receiver to her ear, her hand pressed over the mouthpiece so whoever is calling doesn't hear what she is saying. Looks like I returned to the office at just the right time.
"Hello, Colonel MacKenzie speaking," I answer the call.
"Delighted to hear that it's Colonel, now…" the female voice speaks up on the other side of the line, "How long has it been since your promotion?"
"Um…quite some time now…May I ask who is speaking?" I'm caught slightly by surprise. Who on earth could this be?
"Sorry, I didn't mean to catch you off guard…this is Vivienne Westbrook, Colonel. I'm with the Big Brothers and Big Sisters organization…"
"Oh, of course! Vivienne, I'm so sorry, I didn't recognize your voice," I smile, 100 genuinely.
"It has been some time, hasn't it, Sarah?" Vivienne replies, "You were a Major the last time I set you up with a little sister…how is Chloe? I heard you managed to track down her Father."
"Chloe's doing just great!" I tell her, "She's living with her Grandparents while her Father is away at sea. I talk to her whenever I get the chance."
"That's great," Vivienne, replies.
After a pause of a few seconds, I can sense things getting a little tense over the line.
"How have you been, Vivienne?" I ask.
"Good," Vivienne hesitates as she says this and she doesn't need to explain to me why. I know how hard her job is, emotionally, with all of the terrible cases that come across her desk. The Big Brother and Sister Organization is there to help the vulnerable children coming from 'at risk' families.
"As good as can be expected…" Vivienne finally adds, managing to find the words, "Actually, that's why I was calling…"
Later that afternoon, Harm, Bud, Harriet, Coates and I are eating lunch in the canteen as I tell them about the phone call.
"It was a woman that I used to know when I volunteered my time at the Big Sister organization," I explain, filling in Coates, who knows little about Chloe, "I was 'Big Sister' to a young girl called Chloe. We'd hang out a few times a month, I helped her with schoolwork, spent time with her, advised her…"
"She was the one who was spending Christmas with you when Harm and I came by, that time, Ma'am…" Jen asks.
I'd forgotten about that. It seems so long ago, the person who was up on those theft charges so different from the promising young naval officer who I see before me now.
I nod, continuing, "Anyway, Chloe now lives with family we managed to track down. Since she left, I never found the time to return to do the 'Big Sister' work. But Vivienne called me up today, out of the blue to ask me for my help."
"It seems a bit unusual that she approached you," Harm comments, frowning slightly, "Since it's a voluntary organization, I mean."
Everyone else nods in agreement.
"Yeah," I nod, "I thought so too, but she explained to me, during our conversation and I can kind of understand now why she did."
"What is it Ma'am?" Bud asks, curiously.
"Well, she remembers how well Chloe and I got on and…well, she's got a very serious case on her hands right now and it…it bears some resemblance to my own…childhood situation."
Nobody says anything, their eyes wide, everybody virtually craning forwards towards me, as if hanging onto my every word.
I clear my throat and continue.
"Umm, she's recently come to know an eleven year-old-girl placed into foster care. This girl grew up in a broken home and recently things escalated…It turns out that the Mother of this girl has developed paranoid schizophrenia and medication and out-patient treatment have failed to control the most severe symptoms she is experiencing. The eleven-year-old girl had to be removed from the family home and placed into a care home because the mother was hospitalized."
"That's awful, Ma'am," Harriet whispered, in shock, "Is she okay?"
"Physically…well, that's another story. Psychologically, no, she's not. That's why Vivienne contacted me, because I told her a lot about my own childhood, during my time working for her. She wants me to try and help this girl, using my own personal experience."
"The family situation must have been pretty bad, Ma'am, if they had to commit the mother involuntarily to a treatment facility," Bud notes, "Were you were saying that the child was physically injured?"
I nod, regretfully.
"Yeah, it seems that the mother's symptoms were getting so bad that she was unwittingly lashing out of the child. It all came to a head one evening when her daughter brought a new friend home from school and the mother suffered a violent paranoid episode. The neighbors called the police and the mother had to be physically removed from the home. Her daughter had to have medical treatment for her injuries…"
"Poor kid," Harm shook his head, "It sounds tragic."
I nod.
"Are you going to help, Ma'am?" Coates asked, quietly.
"My conscience insists on it," I nod again, "But part of me is hesitant."
"It's understandable, Ma'am," Harriet covers my hand with her own, squeezing understandingly, "You've worked so hard to put your past experiences behind you. It's natural that you don't want to dredge them up again."
I smile at Harriet and thank her for her support, then look to the rest of my friends, who are nodding in agreement. The support is just as visible on their faces. I silently thank them, too, before going onto explain to them.
"There is that, but…I don't know. Every ounce of self-preservation in me is asking if I can really face this. There are the new elements to it as well. My Father was never physically abusive to me."
I drop my voice as I say this, because it is something extremely person to me. I can hardly believe that I'm actually opening up this much in front of my work colleagues. Sure they're my friends, but we are at work.
"I don't…I don't know if I have the strength to do this…"
Harm goes to take my hand, but I halt him, asking him to let me continue.
He understands and silently nods for me to continue.
"On the other hand, my conscience is telling me that I have to do something to help her. I could prevent a young woman going down the same self-destructive path as I did."
Everyone else just nods, compassionately, but when I look at Jen Coates, she looks positively tearful.
"Jen?" I ask her, softly. I hadn't thought how this might affect her. She was just around when I began talking to Harm and Bud.
"Ma'am," she whispers, "I'm just thinking about how my own childhood was…and well, I just wish I had somebody there for me while I was growing up."
She's smiling now and I feel like I'm near tears myself. She reaches to take my hand in support and I know what I must do.