A/N: Woot! Three reviews in twelve hours! I shall celebrate! (does mad celebratory dance)

Because of this, I must do review responses! And I shall also take a moment to point out that I listen to country music, and know nothing about Metallica or any other heavy metal band out there.

Silvermasque-Hehe… I'm really not sure what the price of peas in Persopolis is, but that line sure sounds nifty!

Anna Vader-Anna E., it may be the end of the world. I think I lost the lyrics for Lindsay's Point of No Return. And yes, I made up this phic to celebrate the madness of room 24. Luann and Ari are totally going to trash the Louis-Philippe room. (grins evilly) Maybe the dead man will supply them with toilet paper and brooms. (laughs demonically)

mrs. malfoy-Plotlessness is my specialty. I hope you continue to enjoy it.

Previously on Are You A Smelly Hobo?

"So this guy really is the idol you've been obsessing over forever?" asked Luann, wanting to clarify. "He's really not a smelly hobo?"

Ari's face had become dreamlike as she looked around the room. "He's really not a smelly hobo."

"Good."

"Will he ever stop that dreadful banging?" asked Luann loudly, her hands clamped over her ears in an attempt to block out Erik's organ.

"Shh!" said Ari, still looking dreamlike. "It's Don Juan Triumphant."

"I don't care! Did you bring any Metallica?"

"As a matter of fact, I did." Ari sounded like she didn't want to admit this, as she knew her friend wanted to drown out her idol's composing, but she'd rather admit it than have her bag searched.

Grinning, Luann eagerly asked, "Did you bring the subwoofer?"

"No, but you can turn the iPOD speakers up really loud."

"Better than nothing," the blonde shrugged.

Erik appeared at last to be making some real progress on his new opera—not Don Juan Triumphant as Ari suspected, but something different. All his copies of Don Juan had gone up in smoke.

So he finally thought he was accomplishing something when a scream rent the air.

"Did another person fall into the torture chamber?" he wondered aloud. But that didn't explain the musical accompaniment and the fact that it seemed to be coming from the Louis-Philippe room. Erik stalked over there and threw open the door. A solid wall of sound hit him. Along with that was the picture of both of those annoyances dancing madly about, if what they were doing could be called dancing. "Turn that damn stuff off!" he thundered. Ari pushed a button on a metal contraption that was sitting on the dressing table and mercifully the sound stopped. "What the hell was that?" Erik asked, rubbing his head—nursing a rapidly coming migraine.

"Metallica," said Luann impudently. "It's called music. Ever heard of it? It's a lot better than whatever you were doing," she continued, heedless of Ari's warning looks.

Erik glared at Luann, utterly speechless. This was hardly the first time in his life someone had insulted him, but definitely the first time someone had insulted his music. After a few minutes of him glaring, Luann making faces at him, and Ari shooting panicked looks between the two, Erik said, as if his teeth hurt, "If you are to be staying here, it would not be fitting for me to allow you to starve. Dinner is in one hour."

As soon as he left, Luann and Ari did their patented celebratory dance, which involved turning Metallica back on and resuming doing exactly what they had been doing, causing Erik to wish he'd never let them stay.

"What else is in this bag of yours?" Luann shouted over the music.

"Oh, tons of stuff. I'd had a fight with my mom," Ari shouted back. It was customary for Ari to take a walk when she'd had a fight with her mom, but as Ari was much more paranoid than Luann, she always packed a big bag of stuff, asshethought she was going to get kidnapped or something of the kind.

Luann and Ari abandoned their celebratory dance in favor of rummaging through her bag. There really was a ton of stuff, most which will be inventoried at a later time.

"You even brought my dance bag?" Luann asked, amazed.

"Yep. You'd left it over at my house last Thursday after tap and I packed it, meaning to give it to you when I got a chance."

"Speaking of tap…" Luann said coyly.

"You don't seriously remember that dance, do you?" Ari asked. She knew what was coming.

"I remember every solitary step. Do you have your shoes?"

"Yes, I have my shoes," Ari said reluctantly.

Luann grinned. "And I know you have that song on your iPOD, because I put it there myself."

Ari rolled her eyes and handed Luann her tap shoes as she fastened her own on.

"Yay!" Luann said. "I've always wanted to ruin my tap shoes on a stone floor!"

"Who said anything about a stone floor?" Ari asked. "This is an opera house. There's a stage, remember?"

Luann grinned even more broadly. "I'll take the music," she said, grabbing the device off of the dressing table and following Ari out, trusting the other girl to know the way. When they got to the banks of the lake, Luann's enthusiasm evaporated. She looked hesitantly at Ari, who had already climbed into the boat and was gesturing at her to follow. "You know how to row one of these things?" she asked.

"Yep. I've been practicing. What do you think I did on the big lake trip over the summer? I'm way to hyper to sunbathe!"

Luann stepped into the boat, feeling it rock quite a bit.

"Stay centered," Ari commanded. "You get my iPOD wet, you die."

"Alright…"

The two girls managed to get across the lake relatively unscathed, and Luann was still alive, so the iPOD obviously wasn't wet. They trooped up onto the stage, grateful that no one appeared to be out. Luann set down the iPOD and selected the appropriate song. Both she and Ari were struck with an attack of the giggles at what they were about to do. Luann hit 'play' and stood in her corner.

The song "Hollaback Girl" by Gwen Stefani thudded through the theatre. Both managed to recover from their giggles to actually do the dance that they had been taught, 'dripping attitude' just right as they had been commanded. When the song finished, they both felt unbearably silly and had absolutely no idea what possessed them to do this in the first place.

Which was when the applause started.

Looking up, they discovered the source of the clapping and rude catcalls. Apparently the theatre wasn't as empty as they had thought. The stagehands were still there. Red with embarrassment, they picked up their stuff and walked off the stage. They were about to exit back to the damp cellar from whence they came when they were cornered by a shadow.

"Do not make such a spectacle of yourselves ever again," Erik hissed.

Now that the comments of the men had stopped, Luann and Ari found the whole thing much more amusing and dissolved into hopeless giggles again.

Erik looked on with disapproval.

It was fully fifteen minutes before they could compose themselves enough to return to the lair.

A/N: I actually have to 'drip attitude' doing a tap dance to "Hollaback Girl." Don't laugh.