A/N: Not only do I have reviews, I also have the two disk, wide screen, special edition of Phantom. I know, y'all probably all got it ages ago, but I'm poor and have to pay my cell phone bill. So, yeah. That's all good. Now I have so many songs stuck in my head, and they might even make an entrance in this chappy. You see, Ari has the soundtrack…

My favorite part! Review responses!

Nota Lone-Considering the title has to do with smelly hobos, that will come back in. XP I really don't have an iPod. I'm just pretending that I understand how they work. XD

mrs. malfoy-You'll never hear me admit it, but I like "Hollaback Girl" too. ;-)

Erik'sDarkRose-I think Ari just walked away because she didn't want to get Punjabbed. But that's what I'd do too. Kiss him and run like hell.

Ari-Wow. What a coincidence! That's an Improbability factor of two to the power of 9826574 to one against.

Erik for President-(grins with more than a slight touch of insanity)

Previously on Are You A Smelly Hobo?

Looking up, they discovered the source of the clapping and rude catcalls. Apparently the theatre wasn't as empty as they had thought. The stagehands were still there. Red with embarrassment, they picked up their stuff and walked off the stage. They were about to exit back to the damp cellar from whence they came when they were cornered by a shadow.

"Do not make such a spectacle of yourselves ever again," Erik hissed.

Now that the comments of the men had stopped, Luann and Ari found the whole thing much more amusing and dissolved into hopeless giggles again.

Erik looked on with disapproval.

It was fully fifteen minutes before they could compose themselves enough to return to the lair.

"I hope you are pleased with yourselves," Erik said over dinner.

"Yes," said Luann brightly. Ari's mind appeared to be elsewhere.

"That was a rhetorical question."

"Ari, this idol of yours really isn't all that great," Luann complained.

Ari looked scandalized. "How can you say that?" she asked.

Erik was glaring at Luann again.

"So why do you think he's hot or whatever? Patrick Wilson is so much better!" Luann knew that this remark would incense her friend. She wasn't disappointed. Ari stood up, knocked her chair over, and tripped over it, muttering about betrayal as she tried to untangle herself from her chair and stand back up. Luann stood up too, looked at her friend, and yelled, "Smelly hobo!"

"What is the meaning of this?" Erik asked. "I thought we had already established that there were no…smelly hobos…on the premises."

"Inside joke," said Luann exasperatedly, while helping Ari to her feet.

"What in the name of hell is going on?" yelled a voice from the front room.

"Not another one," Erik groaned, rubbing his still aching head.

Luann and Ari had already gone off to investigate.

The girl with curly read hair that was sitting on the bench was heavily made up, was wearing cothes at least two sizes too small, four-inch heels, and was clutching a fake Louis-Vuitton bag, that was, for all intents and purposes, completely authentic. She looked like she had spent three hours getting her hair looking like she'd just rolled out of bed. She was looking down at her fingernails, anxious that the polish might have gotten chipped. In short, she was the physical incarnation of one of the 'in' crowd.

Luann and Ari were expecting one of their friends so they could obsess over how awesomely awesome it was to be anywhere within a five mile radius of Erik—in Ari's case—or how terribly terrible it was to be separated from nearly all electronics—in Luann's case. They were certainly not expecting her.

"What are you doing here?" the new arrival asked scornfully.

"We live here," said Ari, with equal dislike.

"At least, they are staying here for the time being." Erik had sidled up behind Luann and Ari and was staring at the new girl, too. "And you might want to cover yourself up a bit, should you wish to do the same."

"Why would I want to stay anywhere the same as them?" she asked, gesturing at Luann and Ari. "They might contaminate me."

"Oh, really?" Luann challenged.

"If you find us so repugnant," Ari said, "I hear Carlotta is taking on a new apprentice."

"Carlotta?" the girl asked, clearly grasping at straws.

"She's the local voice teacher. She does an excellent impression of a toad. And Raoul's opening a beauty school, if that's what you want."

Even Erik had to smile at that one. "So who is this girl, anyway?" he asked Ari.

"Brittany. She's the Devil's spawn," she said, sounding disgusted (A/N: If your name's Brittany, I'm sorry, but I really felt like tormenting a prep today).

"I wouldn't be talking, freak," Brittany countered.

"Oh, just crawl back into whatever portal to hell you came from," Luann said.

Just then, a sparkler fell through the ceiling, very nearly setting Brittany's hair on fire.

"Jason," said Luann and Ari in unison. Normally they would roll their eyes after mentioning the neighborhood prankster, but right then they were too happy with him causing Brittany to nearly have a nervous breakdown.

"What should we do with her?" Luann asked.

Ari whispered something in her ear.

"Nah," Luann said, "That's too mean even for her."

"I guess we'll have to keep her," Ari said, sounding disappointed.

"So where do we put her?" Luann asked, gesturing at the prone redhead on the floor.

Ari whispered to Luann, "Well, you and her could sleep in the Louis-Philippe room."

"Not unless you brought a brick wall in that bag of yours," Luann whispered back. "And what about you?"

Ari didn't have to answer; she just glanced sidelong at Erik.

Luann grinned. "We'll have to see what he thinks about it," she said aloud.

"We'll have to see what I think about what?" Erik asked menacingly.

"Well," said Luann, "Since we've decided to keep our friend here, she needs a place to sleep. She and I will have the Louis-Philippe room, we've decided, which leaves Ari…but there's one other bedroom…"

"Absolutely not."

"Aww, but otherwise I'll have to sleep on a cold, hard floor," Ari said, making puppy eyes at Erik.

"Even if I was good enough terms with you to even consider that, there is the simple fact that the coffin is not big enough for two."

"Have you ever tried?" Ari asked coyly.

INSERT LINE HERE

A/N: Ooh… Moment of suspense. OK, it's not, but it's the closest thing to a moment of suspense we're gonna get.