The Mazoku Game show: Chapter 5
Look! Look! We've reached the fifth chapter and they still haven't hauled me away in a straitjacket! (I locked the computer and myself in the closet and barred the door just in case!) The usual stipulations apply, I don't own the Slayers or the "Weakest Link" set and yes. You've probably already guessed.
This story is perverted, twisted and downright wrong! I am also a perverted, twisted and a down right wrong person to write it, but do I care? Heck no! I'm in it for the Oreos. Anyway, as we come to the final few moments of this story together, I leave you with a quote I've had stuck in my head all day:
"Are you achin'? Yum yum yum!" "For some bacon?" "Yum yum yum!" "He's
a big pig!" "Yum yum yum!" "You can be a big pig too! Hoowah!"
"Aaaaggghhhh!!"
~~~~~~~~~~**~~~~~~~~~~
This was not only pissing Lina off, it was annoying her. Watching Xellos flirt with Filia was the last thing she wanted to see. Ever. A loud gargle filled the air and Zelgadis and Amelia glanced at the red-haired sorceress. "Its not me!" Lina argued, shooting a look at Gourry, but the swordsman was snoring, slouched awkwardly over his podium. "I hate this." She muttered. "Your aim must be off, Filia-san!" Xellos cried cheerfully. "XELLOS!" The scream ripped across the stage as Filia launched her mace in his direction.
Xellos moved just in time and the mace bounced harmlessly off the blackened ceiling and crashed into the floor. He appeared beside Gourry and shook his head. "Oh well!" He flashed everyone his trademark smile. "Amelia- san! Your turn!" "Can I pass?" Amelia asked in a small voice. Xellos looked shocked she had even asked. Pass up playing his game? "Come on, Amelia- san!" He coaxed. "You haven't gotten to play yet." "That's okay, though!" Amelia exclaimed. "I-I-" She tried thinking of an excuse.
"I have the word of justice to spread around the world!" It was an utterly pitiful excuse, but Xellos gave her credit for trying. "No stalling Amelia-san!" He admonished, grasping Amelia's arm and dragging the pint- sized princess towards the middle of the stage. "Zelgadis-san! Lina-san!" She whimpered. "Help!" "HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO HELP?!!" Lina shouted. Zelgadis's ears rang from Lina's screech and he sighed. "Just play." He moaned. "The sooner we get this done with, the sooner we can leave." "Filia- san, please go back to your pedestal." Xellos commanded.
Filia picked up her mace and glared at him. She returned to her assigned spot, but kept her icy stare on the mazoku. Xellos smiled down at Amelia and she whimpered. "What do I have to do?" She asked in a small, tearful voice. "Gourry-san needs to be woken up." He said calmly. "You want me to wake Gourry-san up?" Amelia asked. Xellos nodded cheerfully. Amelia brightened. That wasn't bad at all! "Okay!" She agreed and started towards the snoozing swordsman. Xellos put a hand on her shoulder to stop her. "What?" Amelia asked. Xellos wagged his finger down at her.
"Amelia-san, you have to kiss Gourry-san to wake him up." Zelgadis's jaw dropped open, Lina's eyes went wide with disbelief and Filia stared at Xellos in horror. "But-but-but-" Amelia stammered. "I'VE NEVER KISSED ANYONE BEFORE!!" She wailed, her face bright red. "Even better!" Xellos exclaimed. "I can't kiss Gourry-san!" "Oh?" Xellos asked. "Why not?" "Because-because-" Amelia stuttered. "Because why?" He asked, looking down at Amelia, his smile still on his face. Amelia glanced at Lina and motioned for Xellos to lean in. Xellos inclined his ear towards the princess. "Because he's Lina-san's!" She whispered. ".." Xellos looked at Lina, Gourry, then at Amelia. "All right." He said calmly.
Amelia gave him a hopeful look. "Really?" "Of course." Xellos smiled. "You can kiss Zelgadis-san instead!" Amelia's smile froze. Zelgadis's eyes grew huge and his mouth fell open. Lina glanced at Zelgadis and Amelia and sighed. Well, they were bound to do it sooner or later, right? Why not give them a push in the right direction? Too bad it was Xellos doing the pushing. "I have to kiss Zelgadis-san?" Amelia asked, her voice barely above a whisper. Xellos pushed her towards Zelgadis and smiled. "Well, since you obviously can't kiss Gourry-san, but if you want to kiss Lina-san or Filia-san instead-" "NO!" Amelia, Lina and Filia exclaimed. "I'll do it!" She sobbed. "I'll-I'll kiss Zelgadis-san." "Good!" Xellos cheered, gently pushing her towards Zelgadis, who was slowly starting to turn red.
"Lina?" Amelia asked, looking at the sorceress for help. Lina smiled weakly and gave her thumbs up. Filia sighed in disgust and strode forward, and put a comforting arm around the tiny princess. "Don't worry, Amelia- san." She said calmly. "We promise we won't tell anyone." "But-" "Filia- san." Xellos said, grasping the dragoness's arm. "I must ask you to return to your spot." "Don't touch me, Namagomi!" Filia snapped, slapping his hand away. Xellos's eyes slid open and his smile twitched. "What a spoiled, selfish little dragon you are, Filia-san." He remarked and she gasped.
Meanwhile, Lina watched as Amelia approached Zelgadis. He watched her apprehensively, his face getting steadily redder. Amelia squeezed her eyes shut, stood on tiptoes and gave Zelgadis a quick kiss on the lips. ""Spoiled? Selfish?" Filia growled. "Am I the one subjecting Amelia-san to such embarrassment?" She demanded. "No, and if you only knew how good it was." Xellos sighed contentedly. "I'm glad I don't." Filia muttered. "Don't put something down unless if you've tried it, Filia-san." He said smoothly. Amelia stepped away from the chimera and cautiously opened her eyes.
She took one look at Zelgadis's red face and her eyes filled with tears. "I'm so sorry Zelgadis-san!" She cried. "But-but- I'm-I'm glad I had to kiss you!" Lina smiled and shook her head. Finally, maybe now Zel would admit- "Um-" Zelgadis cleared his throat. "Thanks." He muttered. Amelia looked up at him and smiled tearfully. "Your welcome Zelgadis-san!" Lina swung her gaze to Xellos and Filia and scowled. "Great, they're at it again." She griped. "No!" Zelgadis exclaimed. "He has to get us out of here!" "Then you can go interrupt them!" Lina yelled. "Gourry-san! Gourry- san, wake-up!" Amelia hissed, shaking the swordsman. "We might be out of this game soon!"
One could only hope. And yet Xellos and Filia's argument continued. "You hentai!" Filia said rudely. "Besides torturing Lina-san and the others, do you ever think about anything else?" She demanded. "Only about ways I could torture you, Filia-san." Xellos replied cheerfully. Filia's face turned red and she sputtered, the insult she had readied completely forgotten. "What are you thinking?" Xellos sang, grinning at her. Filia's face slowly reddened. "You do want me!" He cried, throwing himself at Filia and hugging her. "Eh?" Filia squeaked, staring at the happy mazoku hanging on her. "Xellos?" She asked timidly.
"I'm not asleep am I?" Lina asked. "If you are, we're having the same nightmare." Zelgadis replied. "I'm not going to be able to sleep at all when we get out of this." Amelia whimpered. Gourry awoke, and looked around the stage groggily. He saw Xellos and Filia and sighed. He never would've guessed Filia would like a guy Xellos's age, even if he did look good for it. "Xellos?" Filia asked again. "Xellos!" "Filia-san," He said weakly. She glanced at him. "Yes?" "You always taste so good." Xellos murmured. Eyebrow twitching, Filia's hand clenched and she yanked Xellos off of her and let him drop to the floor. "Listen you!" She said through clenched teeth. "I don't know what you're up to-"
Xellos looked up from the floor and smiled. "So it seems my mind isn't the only one in the gutter, ne? Filia-san?" He asked. "PERVERT!" Filia shouted. "You keep me out of that sick, twisted excuse you call a mind!" "Filia! Stop!" Lina yelled. The dragoness grabbed her mace and glared down at Xellos. "He wants you to beat him!" Amelia cried. "Filia- san! Don't!" Filia didn't listen though and she raised the mace over her head. Lina ran at her and grabbed her around the waist. "We need to get out of here!" She exclaimed. "Don't hit him!" "Lina-san, let go!" Filia growled. "Filia! Listen!" Zelgadis had a grip on one of Filia's arms now, and Amelia hung off her other arm. "Filia-san! Please!"
"Lina," Gourry said calmly. "Not now!" Lina exclaimed, trying to keep a hold of the angry dragoness. "Let go! All of you!" Filia raged. "Really Filia-san, if you want me so badly-" "XELLOS!" Amelia and Zel snapped. "Filia! Calm down!" "Lina." Gourry repeated. The red-haired sorceress growled and turned to face him, snarling. "WHAT?!" "There's the exit." Lina looked over and sure enough, there was a green exit sign. "That's- that's an exit!" She whispered excitedly. Xellos frowned. "Where?" He could remember checking several to make sure there wasn't anyway out of this game except through playing. Seems he hadn't checked-wait. That exit sign hadn't been there a few moments ago. Lina let go of Filia, and grasped Amelia's arm.
"Lina-san, what are-" "We're saved!" Lina cried, pointing to the exit. Amelia's eyed widened and she started to sob. "We can go home!" She sobbed. Zelgadis, having seen Lina and Amelia's happiness, sighed. Might as well let Filia beat Xellos senseless, so he dropped his hold on Filia and went to join Lina, Amelia and Gourry. Filia, not noticing that she was free, swung her mace and hit Xellos in the face, a new crater forming in the already battered stage. "NAMAGOMI!!" She screamed. "If you ever have any more sick, disgusting thoughts about me, or if you touch me again-" Xellos crawled out of the crater and smiled painfully at Filia. "Filia- san," He began. "It's your turn." "I think not, namagomi." She said haughtily.
Filia tucked her mace under one arm and walked off, nose in the air. Eyebrow twitching, Xellos was trying very hard to resist the urge to use Filia's mace on her. "For a spoiled, rude, selfish," He said, standing. Filia stopped. "Impolite, bad-tempered, violent," Filia hands clenched around her mace. "Self-righteous dragon." Turning slowly, Filia growled at Xellos. "I won't let anyone leave unless you play." "WHAT?" Lina, Amelia, Zelgadis and Gourry exclaimed. "I am not going to participate in this-this- debauchery!" Filia sputtered indignantly. Xellos shrugged and turned to Lina. "Lina-san, would you like to play again-" "NO!" Lina shouted.
"Just play, Filia!" Zelgadis yelled. "But Lina-san," "No buts, Filia- san!" Amelia said firmly. "Fine! I'll play your damn game." Filia muttered. Xellos smiled and then immediately collapsed. He really had to stop this, but Filia-san's emotions always tasted so good. "Well? Let's get this over with!" She griped, lightly kicking Xellos with her foot. "If I had known you were so eager to play with me, I would've had something a little more." Xellos glanced around the stage. "Intimate." Filia's face flamed red and Xellos stood up, wagging his finger at her. "But since we're here we'll save those that for another time." "We will not." Filia hissed, glancing over her shoulder to make sure no one else had heard Xellos's remark. "What do I have to do?"
Look! Look! We've reached the fifth chapter and they still haven't hauled me away in a straitjacket! (I locked the computer and myself in the closet and barred the door just in case!) The usual stipulations apply, I don't own the Slayers or the "Weakest Link" set and yes. You've probably already guessed.
This story is perverted, twisted and downright wrong! I am also a perverted, twisted and a down right wrong person to write it, but do I care? Heck no! I'm in it for the Oreos. Anyway, as we come to the final few moments of this story together, I leave you with a quote I've had stuck in my head all day:
"Are you achin'? Yum yum yum!" "For some bacon?" "Yum yum yum!" "He's
a big pig!" "Yum yum yum!" "You can be a big pig too! Hoowah!"
"Aaaaggghhhh!!"
~~~~~~~~~~**~~~~~~~~~~
This was not only pissing Lina off, it was annoying her. Watching Xellos flirt with Filia was the last thing she wanted to see. Ever. A loud gargle filled the air and Zelgadis and Amelia glanced at the red-haired sorceress. "Its not me!" Lina argued, shooting a look at Gourry, but the swordsman was snoring, slouched awkwardly over his podium. "I hate this." She muttered. "Your aim must be off, Filia-san!" Xellos cried cheerfully. "XELLOS!" The scream ripped across the stage as Filia launched her mace in his direction.
Xellos moved just in time and the mace bounced harmlessly off the blackened ceiling and crashed into the floor. He appeared beside Gourry and shook his head. "Oh well!" He flashed everyone his trademark smile. "Amelia- san! Your turn!" "Can I pass?" Amelia asked in a small voice. Xellos looked shocked she had even asked. Pass up playing his game? "Come on, Amelia- san!" He coaxed. "You haven't gotten to play yet." "That's okay, though!" Amelia exclaimed. "I-I-" She tried thinking of an excuse.
"I have the word of justice to spread around the world!" It was an utterly pitiful excuse, but Xellos gave her credit for trying. "No stalling Amelia-san!" He admonished, grasping Amelia's arm and dragging the pint- sized princess towards the middle of the stage. "Zelgadis-san! Lina-san!" She whimpered. "Help!" "HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO HELP?!!" Lina shouted. Zelgadis's ears rang from Lina's screech and he sighed. "Just play." He moaned. "The sooner we get this done with, the sooner we can leave." "Filia- san, please go back to your pedestal." Xellos commanded.
Filia picked up her mace and glared at him. She returned to her assigned spot, but kept her icy stare on the mazoku. Xellos smiled down at Amelia and she whimpered. "What do I have to do?" She asked in a small, tearful voice. "Gourry-san needs to be woken up." He said calmly. "You want me to wake Gourry-san up?" Amelia asked. Xellos nodded cheerfully. Amelia brightened. That wasn't bad at all! "Okay!" She agreed and started towards the snoozing swordsman. Xellos put a hand on her shoulder to stop her. "What?" Amelia asked. Xellos wagged his finger down at her.
"Amelia-san, you have to kiss Gourry-san to wake him up." Zelgadis's jaw dropped open, Lina's eyes went wide with disbelief and Filia stared at Xellos in horror. "But-but-but-" Amelia stammered. "I'VE NEVER KISSED ANYONE BEFORE!!" She wailed, her face bright red. "Even better!" Xellos exclaimed. "I can't kiss Gourry-san!" "Oh?" Xellos asked. "Why not?" "Because-because-" Amelia stuttered. "Because why?" He asked, looking down at Amelia, his smile still on his face. Amelia glanced at Lina and motioned for Xellos to lean in. Xellos inclined his ear towards the princess. "Because he's Lina-san's!" She whispered. ".." Xellos looked at Lina, Gourry, then at Amelia. "All right." He said calmly.
Amelia gave him a hopeful look. "Really?" "Of course." Xellos smiled. "You can kiss Zelgadis-san instead!" Amelia's smile froze. Zelgadis's eyes grew huge and his mouth fell open. Lina glanced at Zelgadis and Amelia and sighed. Well, they were bound to do it sooner or later, right? Why not give them a push in the right direction? Too bad it was Xellos doing the pushing. "I have to kiss Zelgadis-san?" Amelia asked, her voice barely above a whisper. Xellos pushed her towards Zelgadis and smiled. "Well, since you obviously can't kiss Gourry-san, but if you want to kiss Lina-san or Filia-san instead-" "NO!" Amelia, Lina and Filia exclaimed. "I'll do it!" She sobbed. "I'll-I'll kiss Zelgadis-san." "Good!" Xellos cheered, gently pushing her towards Zelgadis, who was slowly starting to turn red.
"Lina?" Amelia asked, looking at the sorceress for help. Lina smiled weakly and gave her thumbs up. Filia sighed in disgust and strode forward, and put a comforting arm around the tiny princess. "Don't worry, Amelia- san." She said calmly. "We promise we won't tell anyone." "But-" "Filia- san." Xellos said, grasping the dragoness's arm. "I must ask you to return to your spot." "Don't touch me, Namagomi!" Filia snapped, slapping his hand away. Xellos's eyes slid open and his smile twitched. "What a spoiled, selfish little dragon you are, Filia-san." He remarked and she gasped.
Meanwhile, Lina watched as Amelia approached Zelgadis. He watched her apprehensively, his face getting steadily redder. Amelia squeezed her eyes shut, stood on tiptoes and gave Zelgadis a quick kiss on the lips. ""Spoiled? Selfish?" Filia growled. "Am I the one subjecting Amelia-san to such embarrassment?" She demanded. "No, and if you only knew how good it was." Xellos sighed contentedly. "I'm glad I don't." Filia muttered. "Don't put something down unless if you've tried it, Filia-san." He said smoothly. Amelia stepped away from the chimera and cautiously opened her eyes.
She took one look at Zelgadis's red face and her eyes filled with tears. "I'm so sorry Zelgadis-san!" She cried. "But-but- I'm-I'm glad I had to kiss you!" Lina smiled and shook her head. Finally, maybe now Zel would admit- "Um-" Zelgadis cleared his throat. "Thanks." He muttered. Amelia looked up at him and smiled tearfully. "Your welcome Zelgadis-san!" Lina swung her gaze to Xellos and Filia and scowled. "Great, they're at it again." She griped. "No!" Zelgadis exclaimed. "He has to get us out of here!" "Then you can go interrupt them!" Lina yelled. "Gourry-san! Gourry- san, wake-up!" Amelia hissed, shaking the swordsman. "We might be out of this game soon!"
One could only hope. And yet Xellos and Filia's argument continued. "You hentai!" Filia said rudely. "Besides torturing Lina-san and the others, do you ever think about anything else?" She demanded. "Only about ways I could torture you, Filia-san." Xellos replied cheerfully. Filia's face turned red and she sputtered, the insult she had readied completely forgotten. "What are you thinking?" Xellos sang, grinning at her. Filia's face slowly reddened. "You do want me!" He cried, throwing himself at Filia and hugging her. "Eh?" Filia squeaked, staring at the happy mazoku hanging on her. "Xellos?" She asked timidly.
"I'm not asleep am I?" Lina asked. "If you are, we're having the same nightmare." Zelgadis replied. "I'm not going to be able to sleep at all when we get out of this." Amelia whimpered. Gourry awoke, and looked around the stage groggily. He saw Xellos and Filia and sighed. He never would've guessed Filia would like a guy Xellos's age, even if he did look good for it. "Xellos?" Filia asked again. "Xellos!" "Filia-san," He said weakly. She glanced at him. "Yes?" "You always taste so good." Xellos murmured. Eyebrow twitching, Filia's hand clenched and she yanked Xellos off of her and let him drop to the floor. "Listen you!" She said through clenched teeth. "I don't know what you're up to-"
Xellos looked up from the floor and smiled. "So it seems my mind isn't the only one in the gutter, ne? Filia-san?" He asked. "PERVERT!" Filia shouted. "You keep me out of that sick, twisted excuse you call a mind!" "Filia! Stop!" Lina yelled. The dragoness grabbed her mace and glared down at Xellos. "He wants you to beat him!" Amelia cried. "Filia- san! Don't!" Filia didn't listen though and she raised the mace over her head. Lina ran at her and grabbed her around the waist. "We need to get out of here!" She exclaimed. "Don't hit him!" "Lina-san, let go!" Filia growled. "Filia! Listen!" Zelgadis had a grip on one of Filia's arms now, and Amelia hung off her other arm. "Filia-san! Please!"
"Lina," Gourry said calmly. "Not now!" Lina exclaimed, trying to keep a hold of the angry dragoness. "Let go! All of you!" Filia raged. "Really Filia-san, if you want me so badly-" "XELLOS!" Amelia and Zel snapped. "Filia! Calm down!" "Lina." Gourry repeated. The red-haired sorceress growled and turned to face him, snarling. "WHAT?!" "There's the exit." Lina looked over and sure enough, there was a green exit sign. "That's- that's an exit!" She whispered excitedly. Xellos frowned. "Where?" He could remember checking several to make sure there wasn't anyway out of this game except through playing. Seems he hadn't checked-wait. That exit sign hadn't been there a few moments ago. Lina let go of Filia, and grasped Amelia's arm.
"Lina-san, what are-" "We're saved!" Lina cried, pointing to the exit. Amelia's eyed widened and she started to sob. "We can go home!" She sobbed. Zelgadis, having seen Lina and Amelia's happiness, sighed. Might as well let Filia beat Xellos senseless, so he dropped his hold on Filia and went to join Lina, Amelia and Gourry. Filia, not noticing that she was free, swung her mace and hit Xellos in the face, a new crater forming in the already battered stage. "NAMAGOMI!!" She screamed. "If you ever have any more sick, disgusting thoughts about me, or if you touch me again-" Xellos crawled out of the crater and smiled painfully at Filia. "Filia- san," He began. "It's your turn." "I think not, namagomi." She said haughtily.
Filia tucked her mace under one arm and walked off, nose in the air. Eyebrow twitching, Xellos was trying very hard to resist the urge to use Filia's mace on her. "For a spoiled, rude, selfish," He said, standing. Filia stopped. "Impolite, bad-tempered, violent," Filia hands clenched around her mace. "Self-righteous dragon." Turning slowly, Filia growled at Xellos. "I won't let anyone leave unless you play." "WHAT?" Lina, Amelia, Zelgadis and Gourry exclaimed. "I am not going to participate in this-this- debauchery!" Filia sputtered indignantly. Xellos shrugged and turned to Lina. "Lina-san, would you like to play again-" "NO!" Lina shouted.
"Just play, Filia!" Zelgadis yelled. "But Lina-san," "No buts, Filia- san!" Amelia said firmly. "Fine! I'll play your damn game." Filia muttered. Xellos smiled and then immediately collapsed. He really had to stop this, but Filia-san's emotions always tasted so good. "Well? Let's get this over with!" She griped, lightly kicking Xellos with her foot. "If I had known you were so eager to play with me, I would've had something a little more." Xellos glanced around the stage. "Intimate." Filia's face flamed red and Xellos stood up, wagging his finger at her. "But since we're here we'll save those that for another time." "We will not." Filia hissed, glancing over her shoulder to make sure no one else had heard Xellos's remark. "What do I have to do?"