A/N: Don't worry, Greg will be fine… Okay? ;-) Never could kill him…
With the samples in Catherine's kit we head back to the lab. We don't talk, just her glance saying "You know, Nick, if you want to talk, I'm here". But even if I wanted I couldn't, so I remain silent. What should I say anyway? That I love him more than anything and would give everything if it was me lying there instead of him? I know it would hurt him as much as me to see me in such a state as it hurts me to see him like this. Still, I'd rather be the one fighting for my life than being unable to help him. I'm not afraid of dying, I never was, but I am and always was afraid of losing.
I take the samples to Mia, telling her what had happened and asking her to analyze it as quickly as humanly possible. Then I make the phone call I need to confirm my suspicion. I call the prison Nigel crane is supposed to be in. Unwanted memories flood my mind and I have to use my full strength to push them back. 'Focus', I snap. I'm right. Nigel is not there, he's broken out a week ago… Enough time to organize this, to stake us… I force myself not to yell at the guy on the phone, I just slam the receiver. Still I can't do anything, I almost hear Grissom say "Evidence, Nick!" He, Sara and Warrick haven't returned from the crime scene yet, so there's nothing I can do, just wait. I hate that. There's nothing harder than waiting in my opinion. Surely I can't go in the break room. Cath will be there wanting to force me to talk, to let my emotions, my fear out, but I'm not ready for this… Maybe I'll never be. Not when it comes so close to me. But I can't stay here either, it reminds me too much of him… I decide to go on the roof. Greg likes to be up here, too and I feel closer to him now able to see the hospital he's in. I stare into the night and for the first time I allow myself to cry my heart out. I draw in deep breathes knowing the pain will fade… it always does. That's how Sara finds me later. Lying a comforting hand on my shoulder she whispers: "I'm so sorry, Nicky…" By the look in her eyes I can confirm she really means it. When Greg and I came out she'd been the most shocked and hadn't liked it. That she said that now means much to me. "Thanks, Sar" I mumble with red rimmed eyes. "Nick" She says concerned. "There's another thing: Nigel Crane… He broke out a week ago." I don't tell her I already know. I probably should have. "I really think you should leave this to us… Just go to him, okay?" For a few moments I'm aghast. She wants me to stay behind? Not to help catching that son of a bitch? On the other hand I could stay with Greg then being there when he wakes up or when he… when he… Not to mention I trust the others to do this right. They all want to nail him. So I just nod.