Note: To those who expected a letter from Mamoru, boy isn't this a
surprise? ^^ I think I like my version of uh...breaking it gently. I
watched the first 18 episodes over again this weekend. I also got to see
Mercury, Saturn, Moon, Venus, and Jupiter in the sky this weekend as well.
I didn't get to see Mars. ^^ I really just wanted to see Saturn and the
Moon. Those two are my fave characters. Now on to the fic...er letter!
Dear Mamoru,
I want to appologize for walking out on you the other day. I shouldn't have yelled at you like that. I'm the one who has done something wrong. I'm the one who tried to take away your freedom.
I suppose I was jealous that someone else could love my Mamoru too. However, my feelings for you were not love. It was...a childhood infactuation. Because you made a promise to me when we were young, I didn't allow myself to date other people. I didn't give myself the chance to fall in love because I was afraid of taking a risk. I didn't want to be alone. I knew you would keep your promise so I stayed with you because you were attainable. I'm sorry.
You're not happy with me, but you remained with me because you were bound by your word. It's too late for me, but it isn't too late for you. If you never find happiness, if you never fall in love, I will never be able to forgive myself for what I have done.
Tsukino's letter mentioned that you were mean to her when you first met. At first I found it hard to believe. I knew you weren't that type of person. It was because of me, wasn't it? You were mean to her because you didn't want her to fall in love with you so you would never end up betraying me. I'm sorry, but it didn't work.
Even now she loves you. You didn't want to break your promise to me, that's why you were mean to her. That's why you brushed her off and why you didn't want to read her letter. You care about her Mamoru, I can tell. I don't know what love is, but I know pain and I know fear. I saw the pain in your eyes when she walked away from us. I saw how you kept looking back. You care for her. Maybe you love her too.
I'm really a terrible person. She shouldn't want to be like me, I should be the one wanting to be like her. She's a kind and brave young girl who isn't afraid of getting hurt. She's someone who understands what love really is. Not only did I try to keep you to myself, I've been deceiving myself. I lied to myself saying that I love you and that you love me. I lied to myself about Tsukino Usagi and you. I'm not just hurting myself anymore, so I have to stop.
I'm sorry for being so harsh. After all of this time, you never expected this. Maybe you had hoped that I would fall in love with someone else. However, I didn't allow myself the chance to. I know it must hurt. You thought you were doing the right thing. Please, don't blameyourself or Tsukino-san. Forget me and try your best to take care of yourself and be happy. Talk to her. You two need to talk about your feelings. Please, be happy.
Signed,
Hina
Dear Mamoru,
I want to appologize for walking out on you the other day. I shouldn't have yelled at you like that. I'm the one who has done something wrong. I'm the one who tried to take away your freedom.
I suppose I was jealous that someone else could love my Mamoru too. However, my feelings for you were not love. It was...a childhood infactuation. Because you made a promise to me when we were young, I didn't allow myself to date other people. I didn't give myself the chance to fall in love because I was afraid of taking a risk. I didn't want to be alone. I knew you would keep your promise so I stayed with you because you were attainable. I'm sorry.
You're not happy with me, but you remained with me because you were bound by your word. It's too late for me, but it isn't too late for you. If you never find happiness, if you never fall in love, I will never be able to forgive myself for what I have done.
Tsukino's letter mentioned that you were mean to her when you first met. At first I found it hard to believe. I knew you weren't that type of person. It was because of me, wasn't it? You were mean to her because you didn't want her to fall in love with you so you would never end up betraying me. I'm sorry, but it didn't work.
Even now she loves you. You didn't want to break your promise to me, that's why you were mean to her. That's why you brushed her off and why you didn't want to read her letter. You care about her Mamoru, I can tell. I don't know what love is, but I know pain and I know fear. I saw the pain in your eyes when she walked away from us. I saw how you kept looking back. You care for her. Maybe you love her too.
I'm really a terrible person. She shouldn't want to be like me, I should be the one wanting to be like her. She's a kind and brave young girl who isn't afraid of getting hurt. She's someone who understands what love really is. Not only did I try to keep you to myself, I've been deceiving myself. I lied to myself saying that I love you and that you love me. I lied to myself about Tsukino Usagi and you. I'm not just hurting myself anymore, so I have to stop.
I'm sorry for being so harsh. After all of this time, you never expected this. Maybe you had hoped that I would fall in love with someone else. However, I didn't allow myself the chance to. I know it must hurt. You thought you were doing the right thing. Please, don't blameyourself or Tsukino-san. Forget me and try your best to take care of yourself and be happy. Talk to her. You two need to talk about your feelings. Please, be happy.
Signed,
Hina