Disclaimer: The usual; not mine. Neither is the song.
This is inspired by the song "Holes In The Floor Of Heaven" by Steve Wariner, which I've been hearing for quite a while now.
Though I don't know why I came up with this dark story now that I'm on an emotional high ever since I found out that season 10 will finally air in my country starting tomorrow. YEAH!
This story is set in season 10 maybe or better even after the final. I don't know. Just take your pick where you like it best.
I miss him
She stood at the window, the room behind her dark.
She looked at the lights. The lights of cars passing by. The illumination of the city, that reflected on the wet streets. She watched the lights in the windows of the house across the street. Windows behind which children laughed or lovers talked. She wondered whether there was somebody out there doing just the same as she did - starring at life from a darkened place.
But these little dots of light, sparkling in the dark of the night, were like rays of hope, mirroring a life without a care.
As she watched a traffic light change from red to green and back again she realized that life went on. That it would do so for eternity. That life would go on without him. She knew that somehow one day she would find a way to live again as well.
Soft country music swayed through the room. Every now and then the sound of rolling thunder mingled with the slow rhythm. She was lost in the lights, in the rhythm and in the lyrics swirling around her.
There's holes in the floor of heaven.
Oh how she wished for that to be true. That he was able to always look down at her.
She shivered from his memory, realizing that right now he looking down at her wasn't enough. She wanted him to once again wrap his arms around her. To laugh with her or speak reassuring words. She wanted him to hold the little baby she now carried beneath her heart. She wanted him to share so much with her.
It all had happened so fast. Nobody saw it coming. Nobody could do anything about it. Not him, not her. The illness had taken him in what seemed like the blink of an eye. So he was gone all too soon.
When he had died a part of her had died as well. He had been the one to save her, to give her a reason to live when she thought it lost out there on this street by the scattered car and the dying boy. He had been the first to believe in her. He had been the one to guide her onto the right path, to light her way.
She leaned her head against the cool glass for a moment. The headlights of a car broke in the hundreds of raindrops that gathered on her window. Behind her in the room another song had come on.
She took two steps back and wrapped her arms around her. Ever so slowly she began to move to the music. So softly she moved that her feet made no sound. Her eyes closed as she was swallowed by the tunes. She saw his face in the dark of the room. Heard his stories from long ago. Graciously her hips swayed from left to right. She felt her skirt brush against her bare legs whenever she moved. She felt the soft breeze that accompanied every movement of the fabric.
She was so lost in the music that she didn't hear the key turn in the door. Neither did she hear the man enter nor his soft words of greeting. She still stood these two steps from the window, moving her body to the slow rhythm of the song.
But when he was close enough she felt his presence. He stepped up behind her and wrapped his arms around her so they came to rest on hers. He has said no more words.
She felt his strong arms envelope her and let herself fall into the save haven they offered. He started to move his body in sync with hers. He kissed her temple when her head came to rest on his shoulder.
"I miss him," she whispered her eyes still closed.
"I know." And she knew that he really understood how much she missed him. That he missed him as well and may it even be just because he had meant so much to her.
"It's not fair." A first tear found its way out of her eye. She felt the hot trail it left on her skin. "He should have held this little one." She ran her hand over her swollen belly, bringing his along. "He should have laughed with us. He should have given me away at our wedding. He should have had the chance to do so much more, to be there for all of it." More tears followed the first one now.
There's holes in the floor of heaven.
"I'm sure he'll always watch over you. And he would be proud of you. He has always been."
And as she listened to the voice that gently whispered into her ear and to the tunes of the song that drifted around them, she thought that maybe, just maybe he was watching down now and crying like she did. That the rain outside were his tears.
And there's holes in the floor of Heaven
And her tears are pouring down.
That's how you know she's watching,
Wishing she could be here now.
An' sometimes when I'm lonely,
I just remember she can see.
Yes, there's holes in the floor of Heaven,
And she's watching over you and me.
She wrapped the man's arms a little tighter around her, snuggled a little closer. She would always miss her uncle but now she had two other arms to keep her steady and save during times like these.
They felt the baby struggle inside her.
They would live on.