Chapter Four.

The train pulled into Hogsmead station just as it began to rain. The Marauders got off the train and immediately found an empty carriage. They all got in and just as Remus was just about to close the door he spotted Lily looking for a carriage to get into.

"Hey! Lily there's room for one more in here" he yelled out to her. Lily's heart skipped a beat when she heard him call her name. She ran over to the carriage but when she stepped in, instead of being met by Remus liked she had hoped James helped her in.

"Wouldn't want you to catch a cold now Evans." James said coolly ruffling his hair in attempt to look rugged and cool.

"I'm sure I'd 'ave survived Potter." Lily spat back at him.

"Just trying to help" he replied a bit diminished. That last blow from Lily had really hurt. It seemed no matter how cool he acted all she ever did was hate him for it.

"Thanks a lot then." Lily said with a lethal amount of sarcasm. She had never felt anything but disdain for James. To her all he was, was an arrogant, big headed quidditch captain with all the girls fawning over him, yet he always seemed to be annoying her.

" So, Lily anyone you know being sorted today?" Remus asked. Lily shook her head. There was an awkward silence that filled the carriage.

" I hope we get a good batch of Gryffindors this year." Sirius said in an attempt to make the mood a little less awkward.

" Yes, hopefully we won't have any real trouble makers that'll cost us more points than we already lose in a year die to certain people." Lily said with an air of confidence about her.

" Ow Evans, that really hurts me." Sirius said sarcastically holding his chest. "You should learn to save those remarks and share them with everybody."

"Y'know Evans you'd do really well hangin out with us, I think you'd fit right in." James said trying to get the same reaction from Lily as Sirius did.

"Potter I wouldn't hang out with you if you were the only person in Hogwarts!"

"Ooooo… nice one Prongs." Sirius said laughing hysterically at James. Just then the carriage jolted to a stop causing Lily to fall straight into Remus. He caught her and as she looked up into his soft eyes she felt her heart begin to race with joy and anxiety.

"Careful." He said helping her up and giving her a soft smile.

"Sorry." She said back. " I better get going I have to see Alice." With that she left the carriage and ran off to find her friend.

" How do you guys get her to be civil to you and all I can do is get her mad at me?" James asked sulkily as they got out of their carriage and headed towards the great hall.

"Prongs have you ever tried just talking to her and being yourself?" asked Remus with a suggestive tone.

"Well no, but what girl wants some mushy guy pouring his heart out to her anyways. Isn't that what their supposed to do?" Lupin gave himself a small smack in the forehead. " I don't believe you Prongs, you really can be thick you know."

They all took their seats at the Gryffindor table. Lily was sitting only a few seats away but only James seemed to notice. It seemed to take forever for Dumbledore to finish his speech and for the sorting of the first years to finish.

When it was finished James gave a sigh of relief and said " Finally now where's the food," loud enough for most of the hall to hear. Most of the students broke out in laughter except of course for the Slytherins, their house rivals, and Lily who just seemed unimpressed. James slouched forward in disappointment that his cunning joke hadn't even fazed her. He was beginning to run out of things to try to get her to notice him.

"Don't sweat it mate obviously you two will never be." Sirius said trying to comfort his depressed friend. Sirius although normally he acted tough always had a more sensitive side that helped James get through his depressed stages.

"He's right Prongs obviously Lily just doesn't appreciate your unique personality." Remus added.

"That's right!" exclaimed Pettigrew not being able to think of anything wise like Sirius or Remus. James just continued to pout as the food appeared on their plates. Everyone began to eat but James just sat there stabbing one of his roast potatoes. He never did understand how Lily's mind worked.

Once the feast was over and Dumbledore had dismissed them all the marauders headed up to the Gryffindor common room. Just as they approached the door Lily came over from the other side.

"Bezoars." Lily said causing the portrait of the fat lady to swing open revealing a comfortable room filled with small working tables and couches to sit on. In the fireplace a huge fire was roaring happily. Lily, instead of staying in the common room like most, just headed straight for the girl dormitory.

"Oy! Evans!" James shouted over all the voices in the room. Lily turned around. "Sleep well!"

Lily just rolled her eyes and continued up the stairs. When she got to her dorm she pulled out her book and sat down on her bed. Lily tried to concentrate on the writing but her head was spinning with thoughts, mostly about how she longed for Remus to notice her and like her, but also about how loyal he seemed to be to his friends. 'He never stands up to them' she thought, 'it's like he's scared to loose them, but he could do so much better for himself, he's so smart and kind'. She gave her head a shake 'get over it' she thought 'it's not going to happen, not with his friends around'. Then she got thinking of the other marauders, Sirius she could stand but just barley, Peter wasn't bad a bit of a suck up to the reest of them but that didn't matter, it was James who bothered her. How could anyone be such an insensitive jerk! Always walking around like he owns Hogwarts just because he's a seeker, ruffling his hair to look cool and picking on people he thought of as below him. The thing that made her the most mad though was how he always seemed to make it a point to annoy her when she was around.

Meanwhile in the common room.

James sat down in a chair furious. "You know I think she really does like me she's just intimidated." He said trying to rationalize Lily's dislike for him.

"Oh yes Prongs that's for sure. It couldn't be because you never leave her alone and you always act like a jerk around her could it." Sirius said in a very sarcastic way.

"Shove off."

" Padfoot's got a point Prongs, maybe if you tried not trying to be cool she'd like you a little more." Remus said trying to sound sympathetic.

"I think she is intimidated by you Prongs." Wormtail said in an attempt to cheer James up. It didn't work needless to say.

"I'm goin to bed guys see ya in the morning." James said as he got up and headed for the boys dorm.

Sirius got up to follow him and said, "I'll see what I can do to cheer him up." With that he walked off Pettigrew following close behind. Remus just sat in his favourite chair staring into the fire. 'I wish there was something I could do for Prongs' he thought 'but what can I do Lily obviously hates him.' He sat there for hours just staring at the flames but was brought back to reality when he heard footsteps behind him. He turned to see Lily standing there.

"S..S..Sorry," she said "I didn't think anyone would still be down here, I just came to do some reading 'cause it's a little loud in my room." She gave a small nervous smile.

"Oh well don't let me get in your way, I should really go upstairs anyway." Remus stood up to leave.

"You don't have to go!" Lily said, her heart racing. "I mean stay if you want to, I really wouldn't mind. Actually it would be nice to have some company." She was shocked at her own bravery for asking him to stay.

"Alright, sure I'll stay for awhile." He said sitting back down in his chair. Lily sat down in the chair next to his. "What book are you reading?"

"Christmas Carol, it's been my favourite ever since a was young."

"Really, mine too!" Remus said in shock that she had the same favourite book as him.

"That's amazing, I never would have thought you a Christmas Carol type person." Lily said excitedly trying to hide her blushing. Remus just stared at her with hi gorgeous amber eyes. 'Their so deep and troubled' Lily thought to herself. As his eyes bore into her they both moved a little closer, and closer until their lips touched in what was both of theirs first kiss. For Lily it was if fireworks were going off right in the middle of the common room. Remus's heart was racing at the speed of light as he pushed Lily away.

"I..I..I shouldn't have done that I'm sorry." Remus said staring at the floor.

"Remus, you don't understand how long I've wanted you to do that ." she said. It was as if she had been smacked in the face when he pushed her away. "Remus, I've liked you since I first saw you. Don't you like me even a little bit?"

Remus was confused, the kiss had felt so right and had made him feel like a normal teenager but at the same time he new it was wrong. He had just betrayed his best friend, a friend who kept his darkest secret and who had done so much to make hi life easier. "Lily, don't take this the wrong way but…"

"You don't like me" she said finishing his sentence. "Of course how stupid to think you'd go for someone like me."

"No Lily it's not that I don't think you're great or anything its just…"

"Potter," she said with hate in her voice. She knew it he was just being loyal to that arrogant jerk, Potter. " Why does he matter, why don't you ever stand up to him?"

"Lily, he's my best friend and he and Sirius have done more for me than anyone else ever has, so I just can't stab him in the back." Lily began to sob. She should have known that Remus wouldn't be the type to betray a friend. "I'm so sorry Lily." He said again.

"It's ok," she said trying to regain her composure, "I understand, your too good of a person." Remus couldn't bring himself to look at Lily while she was sobbing. His mind was racing by this time. "I better get some sleep," she said standing up "Goodnight." She walked away still sobbing to herself. Remus just sat there with his head in his hands trying to sort out his thoughts. He really didn't want to betray James but the kiss had sparked something in him that he didn't quite understand. He sat there until 3 in the morning when he finally fell asleep in the chair.

A/N: So how was this chapter? I kinda wanted to make both Lily and Lupin seem like loners because that's how I kinda see them don't you. So anyway please review!