Chapter Eight.

The Next few months went by in a haze for Remus. Classes seemed to be rushed through so fast that even he had a hard time keeping up with the notes and assignments and this year due to the OWL's at the end of the year, and the teachers were lecturing them and giving out loads of extra assignment. Remus was beginning to find it easier to not think about Lily and what had happened at the start of term. He barley even talked to her since then and when he had it was usually to give her the new password to the common room or ask about a homework assignment. His transformations also seemed to be getting a tad less painful. James, Sirius and Peter also seemed to be enjoying themselves in the past few months, with their friend back to normal they were able to get back to working on quidditch which really seemed to be paying off because Gryffindor slaughtered Hufflepuff in the first match off the season. For Remus it seemed that all of Hogwarts was celebrating with him in how good he was feeling. It was now December though and with Christmas break approaching quickly the teachers were frantically trying to get all the work that needed to be done out and assigned which left all the students behind.

"So Prongs, what kind of things should we do this year for the break, I mean sealing the lavatory doors shut last year was hilarious but I think we need something even more amazing this year." Sirius said.

"Well you guys, the thing is that my parents kind of planned a trip this year for the break so I'm not gonna be here even… Sorry mate" James said in a shy voice rather unlike his normal self. He hated letting his friends down especially Sirius because he always was there for him, but James new he couldn't just not go with his parents.

"Oh…Uh…Ok, whatever we'll still find something great wont we Wormtail?" Sirius asked turning to Peter.

"No sorry Padfoot but I have to go away to my parents said that it's time to start coming home for Christmas." He apologized.

" Well Padfoot I guess it's just you and me this year then." Remus laughed punching Sirius in the arm. Sirius just slouched back in his chair. Ever since they had all met in their first year they had always all stayed over Christmas and pulled an elaborate prank on the entire school (usually targeting Slytherins the most.)

Lily was sitting about ten seats down from the marauders. The last few months hadn't been so easy for her. She found herself struggling to keep up with all the homework, which was hard enough, but on top of that she was finding herself still thinking of Remus and how happy she was in the short time they were together. Also she still found herself crying over how quickly he had left her, how bad it had hurt when he had stopped talking to her. What hurt her most was how he seemed not even to care what had happened. Whenever she saw him he was laughing or joking around. He even seemed to be able to keep up with the homework and make it look like he wasn't even trying hard, although he still seemed to always look ill and worn out. She looked over, down the table to where the marauders were sitting and she saw Remus laugh at something and give Sirius a punch in the arm. She couldn't handle this, she got up and ran right out of the great hall. She felt herself beginning to cry. Her feet knew exactly where to take her. She ended up in the empty classroom where Remus had first told her he liked her and wanted to be with her. She sat down in the center of the room and just started to cry fully and openly. In her mind she knew this was being a little pathetic but she couldn't help it, to her it seemed that in the moment he had dumped her, her world had ended and she didn't see how things could ever get better.

Remus seen Lily ran by looking like she was about to cry, and even though he knew she probably didn't want to talk to her he decided that this might be as good of time as any to see if he could patch things up with her.

"I'll see you later guys I think I left my book in McGonagall's class I'm just going to nip back and get it ok." He left the great hall and broke out in a run. He had lost sight of Lily but he had an idea of where she might be. As he approached the door of the abandoned classroom he heard crying coming from inside. He opened the door and knocked lightly as he stepped inside. Lily jumped up at the sound and feverishly tried to wipe the tears from her eyes but when she turned around and seen Lupin standing there the tears just continued running down her cheeks. "Lily, are you alright?"

"Oh I'm fine… I'm bloody peachy!" She screamed at him. "Why would I be fine! You left me so suddenly and you act like it didn't even bother you. Why Remus? Why did you do that? How could you do it? How is it you have the nerve to stand here now and ask me if I'm ALRIGHT!" she screamed even louder.

"How can you think it didn't hurt me too? "

"Well you sure aren't acting like it, oh right I've forgotten you have your band of delinquent friends to help you! So just go back to them and leave me alone!" she let out a giant sob and sunk back onto the floor still weeping to herself. Remus went over and sat down beside her but when he went to put his hand on her shoulder she just pulled away.

"Lily my friends have nothing to do with this, and as for not acting as if it hurts is because I don't want it to hurt so much. I'm having enough trouble coping as it is without everybody saying look there goes poor little broken, softhearted Remus. I don't want the sympathy ok that's the only reason for this front. If I had it my way I'd probably be in the same state as you right now but I just can't do that." He put her arm around her shoulder but this time she didn't pull away she actually leaned into his embrace. He felt so warm to her, she could here his heart beating.

"Why can't it be your way, why can't we just give it another shot? Please Remus let's try again." She was still sobbing softly. Remus closed his eyes and pictured what it would be like, he saw Lily and himself standing under the tree down by the lake with lily and him hand in hand, then the image change to valentines day with them exchanging gifts and then a kiss, his mind then went back to their first kiss that night in the common room and how great it had felt. As he opened his eyes he looked down at Lily's head resting on his shoulder and he was torn between his loyalty to his best friend and his longing desire to have somebody he truly cared for. "Remus…" Lily whispered "Please let's just sit here for awhile."

"Ok." Remus said and closed his eyes and continued picturing him and Lily together. "Lily I need some time to think, please understand."

"I do."

A/N: Hey I realize my chapters aren't incredibly long but I hope you do enjoy them. This story is kinda my way of getting my feelings out of me so I apologize for the roller coaster like ride, and if you find it moves to fast then that's just because that's the way my life is… anyway enough about that please review!