Maybe Someday

By: firecat925

Summary: An AU from "Solitude", where at the end, Jack said Sam's name instead of Sara's. One-shot, J/S.

Disclaimer: I do not own Stargate. You can tell because what I'm writing is an AU, not what actually happened.

Jack's POV

Cold…dark. It surrounds me, smothers me, muting everything, even the pain from a snapped leg and ribs that have to be broken. A part of my brain yells insistently that this is bad, that I should open my eyes, remember where I am, what I'm doing, but I tell it to shut up. It's more comfortable here, like this, and I'm tired.

'Carter'. The words, the thought floats across my brain, and I sit up and take notice. Really, the thought of her is the only thing that could make me. With that name, 'Carter', and the accompanying pictures comes a hundred others, Stargate, missions, Egypt, ice, but I only care about one. About her. Hundreds, maybe thousands of still snapshots flood my brain, all with her as the star. Carter, in her uniform as I see her for the first time and am blown away by her beauty, her brains, her aura of self-confidence and control. Carter, in that dress she wore on the Mongolian planet, looking angry but more beautiful than I'd ever seen her, or anyone. Carter, kissing me in the locker room, Carter, smiling at an airman's joke, Carter, her face alight in wonder as she steps through the 'Gate for the first time. Carter, so happy as he speaks her techno babble that I still don't understand a word of, or plays with her doohickeys in the lab as I watch, content just to admire her in her environment. Carter, more worried than I have ever seen her as she tells me to hang on; she'll find a way out of this ice somehow…No. Sam. Carter is my 2IC, the soldier under my command, and Sam is the woman whose smile makes my heart speed up like a damn teenager's. But, I guess, they are the same. Carter my comrade, Sam my crush, or maybe, even, someday, my love. Carter, the soldier who I can depend on to watch my back, the scientist whose quick thinking and brilliance has saved all our lives more than once, who would risk her life for the team, and Sam, who rolls her eyes at my jokes when we're offworld, who is gorgeous and witty and smart. They are the same person, and suddenly nothing matters more to me than to have her here, where I can hear her heart beat and smell the faint scent of lavender rain that clings to her, and know that she is by me side. "Sam…" I breathe, not caring that the word sets my chest on fire with pain that burns through the numbness. And she answers, speaking softly, and I can feel her warm weight settle beside me, and I relax. She's here, with me, and everything's going to be ok.

Sam's POV

I arrive at his side, gasping, and looked at his still face, so much more vulnerable, more relaxed, than when he's awake. He's alive. Thank God, he's alive. If he died, I would…I don't know. I can calculate wormholes across galaxies, operate on alien machinery, but I can't even imagine what I would do, what I could do, if this man died.

His lips move, and I lean closer to hear his hoarse, soft whisper of "Sam…", and my heart jumps. Sam? Not Carter, or Captain, or any combination of the two, but…Sam? But I can't think about this now, not without going crazy here, so I merely settle myself against him, enjoying this nearness more than I will ever admit, to myself or anyone else, and whisper softly, my own voice shockingly hoarse, "I'm here…It's all okay, Jack…" If I thought that he would remember this later, I would never say that. His name, free of any formalities. But I feel secure and safe, snuggling against him, being mindful of his leg and ribs, and I take a moment to savor his name against my lips. Jack. A plain, common name, but a strong one, like the man who owns it, and no less common man exists. He is one of a kind, unique, and so very, very precious. I had never met anyone like him, like Jack, before I entered the Stargate program…I guess that's another thing I have to be thankful to the 'Gate for. Helping us meet, bringing our paths together. I would not trade the chances that I have every day for anything…the chance to smile at him and have him smile back, to inwardly roll my eyes, laughing, at his jokes, or roll them visibly if we're offworld, to simply watch him as he moves with grace, and confidence, and authority, as he reassures a rookie or cracks a wide, infectious grin behind General Hammond's back. I can see him when I close my eyes and the sight never fails to reassure me, to make me feel safe, to almost over whelm me with what I feel for him; love? I couldn't say, don't want to say, will never say. But what I admit to myself doesn't erase the images from my head; Jack, strong and confident; Jack, yelling at us to get out, save ourselves, don't worry about him; Jack, clowning around during off time, or trying so hard to understand wormholes and failing miserably, with such an adorable pout that I always have to stop myself from giggling. Jack, being himself. Colonel O'Neill, decorated, death-defying soldier, or just friendly, goofy, sweet, awkward Jack. I don't how he feels about me, don't know if he feels anything at all, or if he ever will, but as I lie here next to him, listening to the reassuring beat of his heart, I do know that everything is going to be all right.

Normal POV

Sam walked faster, almost jogging, to catch up to the man in front of her. "Colonel!" Jack turned and looked at her quizzically, and she almost forgot what she was going to say, or maybe that was just wishful thinking. After all, this was a conversation that Sam was really not looking forward to having.

"Yeah, Carter?"

"Um…Well, sir…I was wondering. Do you…remember anything that happened in Antarctica?"

Jack looked at his 2IC, confused. Damn, she was beautiful…and was that a blush? Why, he did believe it was. "Of course I remember, Carter. We just had a debriefing on it."

"Yes, sir I know that, but…anything that happened after I left the iceberg, sir."

Oh. Shit. He remembered, all right. All right, Jack, there are two ways to handle this, he told himself. Option one, tell her yes and weather the extremely awkward conversation that will follow, or possibly just tell her yes and then kiss her. In front of the cameras, the airmen, and anyone else who happens to be passing. Right. Option two, tell her no. What to do, what to do…Jack looked at the woman in front of him and found that option one, part b was looking really appealing…but he couldn't. He couldn't ruin her career like that, couldn't do that to her. There was nothing in the world worth hurting her to get.

"I'm afraid I don't, Carter. Blacked out until I woke up during the helicopter ride. Why?"

"No…no reason, sir." He doesn't remember. Doesn't remember…saying my name…which is such a stupid thing for me to be worried about! He just said your name, Samantha, get a grip. But…I really thought, for a moment…but I couldn't do anything, anyway. Regulations, remember? And the fact that he's the single most off-limits male on the base…"Well, sir, I've got to be going. We're doing tests to try to learn more about why the 'Gate jumped."

"All right, Carter. Have fun with your doohickeys, now."

That earned a smile from her, albeit a small one. "Yes, sir." Turning, she walked away, her thoughts, along with Jack's in a whirl. They couldn't be together, now, anyway. But, there was still the possibility, however small…Maybe someday…