The Sanzo Incident
By NellySama
Disclaimer: Uhh, nope. I don't own Saiyuki. If I did, well, then this fanfic would be an official episode or something. XD.
A/N: Anou.. Oh! To one of my reviewers who asked…Nope. They wont be returning to their normal selves, not until the end of the fic, which, sadly with end within chapter 6 or 7. I like making Sanzo do OOC things. Much fun here indeed. Chapter 3 sucked many eggs, because of lack of inspiration and boredom. I think the chapters are going to get shorter and shorter or longer and longer, Yup.
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I just made a drabble. From the Title to the Word Yup was 100 words. I dare you to count it to prove me wrong! XD.
Anyways, onward with Chapter 4! Anou.. some language. Alright.. Sanzo will come to his senses in this chapter…or does he?
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Chapter 4: Soulless Gojyo, Camera Logic, Hakkai's brother!
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After a few rounds of Yahtzee the Coconut Clan sat happily on the beach. Gojyo practiced his dance moves, Goku sang, and Sanzo perfected a way to roll a high score in Yahtzee. All was well and peaceful.
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Goku: He wore an itsy bitsy, teeny weenie, yellow polka dot bikini, that Gojyo wore for the first time today!
Gojyo: Whatchu talkin' bout foo? –glare-
Goku: What?
Gojyo: You know very well, that it wasn't the first time I'd worn that bikini! Remember?
Goku: -thinks- Ohh Yeah! Hey, you 'member Coconut Lord? –pokes Sanzo-
Sanzo looked up from his dice and glared at the two, then thought for a moment.
Gojyo: well?
Sanzo: I do. That Christmas party. You know, Gojyo, Hakkai took your picture then.
Gojyo: WHAT! –totally freaked out-
Goku: Huh? Wha? What is it? What did you say! –confused-
Sanzo: -gasps at what he just said- OH NO! Hakkai DID take your picture Gojyo! –points accusingly at the Kappa-
Gojyo: NOOOO HEAVENS NOO! –falls to his knees- WHY HAKKAI WHY?
Goku: Sanzo! What's going on! Whaddid Hakkai do to Gojyo?
Suddenly the sky gets dark, clouds loom. Close up on Sanzo's face, as he begins to speak.
Sanzo: ….He took…Gojyo's picture..! –thunder booms loudly, dramatic music-
Gojyo: DUN DUN DUNNNN!
Goku: I know that! What's the big deal?
Sanzo: ….He took… Gojyo's soul… -even louder thunder-
Gojyo: DUN DUN DUUNNNNNNNNNN!
Goku: -gasp- NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! –glomps Gojyo and starts bawling- I'M SO SORRY GOJYO!
Sanzo returns to his dice rolling as if nothing happens while Gojyo and Goku cry together.
Gojyo: You are not sorry! YOU LIE! YOU DON'T CARE!
Goku: YOU"RE RIGHT! I don't care, Gojyo! I don't care at all! –both still crying- I don't care that you're a soulless lump of flesh!
Gojyo: Why did you say you were sorry!
Goku: I'm sorry that I don't care! WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Both breakdown crying for a few minutes, then they stop. Both walk over to the log and sit with Sanzo, who is burning the Yahtzee game. A tea set comes out of nowhere and they drink tea.
Sanzo: Nice weather we're having, isn't it?
Goku: Hmm, Yes. Quite. –mustache-
Gojyo: You gents up for a game of polo?
Sanzo: Nope. But I would enjoy a game of kick who ever put me in this skirt's ass!
Goku: Huh, what? Sanzo?
Gojyo: OO! Did he come back to his senses unlike us?
Goku: I guess.
POOF! They guys clothes return to their normal wear and they all stand there.
Sanzo: -pissed- Who put me in a skirt?
Gojyo: You did. You snapped awhile ago…
Goku: Yeah…when we got on this island, you left us.
Sanzo: I did not put myself in a skirt! One of you did it! Tell me who or die!
Gojyo: I CAN"T DIE! I HAVE NO SOUL ! –remembers the soulless issue- NOOOOOOOOOO! –begins to cry again-
Goku: It wasn't me! NEVER! –runs off while yelling- HAKKAI WHERE ARE YOUUUUU?
Sanzo sat down on the log, glaring at everything that breathed, moved, stood still, and existed. He spotted something behind the log. It was a red crab. He picked it up and threw it at Gojyo, who became unconscious. The crab ran off into the jungle. And so, Sanzo was alone. Finally. Then he snapped again and his skirt came back, and he danced the Luau on Gojyo's back.
---- In the Jungle---
Crabby caught up with Goku and was now being carried by him. Both were in search for Hakkai, where ever he was. Goku stopped walking when they entered a clearing and looked around.
Goku: Hakkai…? Where are you?
Hakkai appears out of now where, giving Goku a big hug.
Hakkai: YOU GOT CRABBY! THANK YOU! MY DEAR DEAR CRABBY HAS RETURNED! –announces to the world-
Goku: Do you still hate the Coconut clan? Cuz its no more, Sanzo snapped…err.. unsnapped. –hands crabby over-
Hakkai: I don't anymore, but I was planning on going to the beach and getting my Crabby back, -to crabby- yes I was, yes I was! 3. So where is Gojyo?
Goku: Back at the beach with Sanzo. Yup. –remembers soulless incident- HEY! Hakkai you stole Gojyo's soul! He's really upset about it! –pouts-
Hakkai: -blinks- He didn't get it back? Huh… -pulls out a camera and some photos-
Goku: -sees camera- Hey wassat? OOOH SHINEY!
Hakkai: This, Goku –holds up camera- is what took Gojyo's soul, its called a camera. And this is a photo. Gojyo's soul went into this picture, see? –holds up a torn one-
Goku: How come its torn in half?
Hakkai: They only way to give Gojyo back his soul is to tear the photo that has Gojyo's picture in it.
Goku: So the soul comes back to the person when the picture breaks?
Hakkai: Correct. But you can only get your soul stolen once, so once its stolen by the camera, and given back, it wont happen again the next time you get your picture taken.
Goku:;; Oohh. But wait…-thinks- Gojyo doesn't know his soul has come back yet!
Hakkai: -gasp- We should tell him before its too late!
Crabby: …
Both start to run toward the beach but then stop.
Goku: Hakkai, do you remember where the beach is? –panic-
Hakkai: No.. I don't' remember… I don't… -blinks- Wait.. who are you? Where am I?
Goku: -stare- Hakkai…?
Hakkai: Your name is Hakkai too? Are you my twin? BROTHER! –drops crabby, who scurries off, and hugs Goku-
Goku: I have a brother? I never knew! –starts to cry- NO ONE TOLD ME!
Hakkai: ITS OKAY DEAR HAKKAI!
Goku: -takes a deep breath, Hakkai lets go of him- Hakkai, brother?
Hakkai: yes, Hakkai?
Goku: My name isn't Hakkai...its Goku.
Hakkai: You lied? ...to me.. your own brother? –backs away-
Goku: -ashamed- I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking! Forgive me brother!
Hakkai: Alright! But never say your name isn't Goku ever!
Goku: Yay! Come Hakkai brother! Lets go off into the jungle and find our friends!
Hakkai: You mean the one called Gojyo? He helped me remember my name, you know. I like him.
Goku: -smiles- Yes, and we must find Sanzo too! Maybe he's wearing that skirt again!
Hakkai: Skirt?
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And so Goku, Hakkai's long lost and newfound brother, explains the whole Lord of the Coconuts as they wander off into the jungle, to find the beach. Crabby follows shortly.
Back at the beach, Sanzo has stopped his luau and is now spinning in circles, watching the way his skirt goes up when he twirls, giggling madly. Gojyo became conscious, and now has a new speech impeditment. He replaced all the a's with u's. But his u's stay the same.
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Gojyo: Sunzo, whut ure, doing? Why ure you twirling like thut?
Sanzo: Because I'm a pretty princess! And I can dance however I want! –scoff-
Gojyo: Muy I dunce with you, then, Ludy Sunzo? –walks up and bows-
Sanzo: I'm not honored but sure. –curtsies-
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They both dance off into the night.
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End Chapter 4
a/n: Wheee! I made this one long! Not as long as the first chapter, but longer than 2 and 3! YAY! Hmmm that princess remark from Sanzo is a tribute to the fanfic, Pretty Princess Sanzo, which is so funny! Also, I would have made Goku Hakkai's sister, but that made me think of Kanan (sniffle) so I made Goku Hakkai's brother. Anyway…I hope you all enjoyed this massively weird/boring/random/humorous chapter!
Please review, my faithfull viewers! Chapter 5 will be up shortly, or not up until a long time. You know how moving is. OO;; Ja ne!
-nellysama