Heylo everybody! On time this time! )

I'll reply to your review comments next chapter, okay? I'm usually pretty good at that, there just doesn't seem to be anymore time today!

I will say this however, because several of you commented on it. No, there was no Madelyn/Albus scene and I am REALLY sorry if that didn't work for you. I'm planning on fitting all of the information that you wanted to know in later (within the next 2 chaps). Sorry if I let some of you down.

Anywho, on with the update!

Chapter Seven: Hush

It was a hot night for it to be nearly September. Sweat found its way to her forehead and neck even though she had very little on. As a matter of fact, she wore the only necessary thing to walk around her quarters at one in the morning; a nightgown.

She sat by the window with her knees curled up to her chest reminiscing, allowing herself to get lost in her memories while a letter that had yet to be read stood beside her thigh. Minerva's fingers kept gliding over the parchment, wanting to open it. Several times she had come close to doing it, reading what her past could have held, but in the end her fear got the best of her. She couldn't read it.

Infront of her there stood a moon, cascading its beautiful light all across the land. It brought out every distinction, every beauty that the world possessed. It made things look beautiful, no matter how ugly they may be during the daylight.

No more than several hours ago did she walk and sit along the grass of the grounds with someone equally comparable to the moon. He made her look genuine, beautiful, and special; things she did not feel at all. Albus worked his charm and had her believe that there was nothing wrong with falling in love again. For that short lived hour that they walked, she did in fact find truth in what he said. But when it was over and she said adieu to him, it became quite clear to her that it was wrong; falling in love…was wrong.

She didn't know why she agreed to go with him. If someone asked, she didn't want to go. If no one asked and she was left to her own thoughts, she was just beckoned by the call of memories. Either way, there was no real explanation for why she went with him. Perhaps she was just weak when he asked; perhaps she only wanted someone to make her feel strong again. That wouldn't work either. He didn't make her feel strong, he made her feel vulnerable.

It had been just like the day before when he asked her to go on a walk with the exception that he approached her in the Transfiguration classroom rather than her quarters, not to mention the fact that it was near eight o'clock in the evening. Albus came up to her just as calm as he ever had been; obviously feeling none of the anxiety that she always seemed to feel in his presence. He sat on the top of a table in the room with clasped hands and waited patiently. It was a strange thing, someone who obviously had so many demands being so quiet in the face of his wants, but that was the Headmaster; he would wait himself to dust if it meant he would get what he wanted.

Minerva glanced at him with a raised eyebrow. "Can I help you, Headmaster?"

"I believe you can," he said gently, "I would love to go on a walk to talk with you alone if you can stand that concept."

She had really meant to say no. It was the answer her mind told her to say, it was what she so often forced herself to speak, but that's not what came out. Instead she quite clearly said "Yes.".

The man nodded in something similar to appreciation and then he waited for her to follow him into the corridor. They walked in an empty hallway for a matter of minutes without any words of any kind. There was complete silence.

Minerva was making a blunder by going with him, she was sure of that. He would hurt her, break her, crush all that was inside of her by their speaking and walking which seemed so incredibly innocent. But she could see beyond the guiltless gesture; nothing was innocent at that point. Whatever he said to her had the ability to break her heart just a little bit more than it already was. After several stabs, she wouldn't be surprised if it completely shattered, like one of Maddy's porcelain dolls.

He led her outside the castle. Night could be seen everywhere; on the ground, in the sky, upon the castle. There wasn't anything but darkness with the exception of several rooms in the castle with burning candles. She stared up at her room which had a light on for her daughter. Maybe Madelyn could see her walking. Perhaps the child was watching right then and there as her mother walked out onto the lawn with her father, unbeknownst to her. Maybe she could see the panic on Minerva's face. Maybe the two figures were nothing more than shadows. Then again, hoping that someone was watching them was a little bit too hopeful. Minerva was left to fend for herself. It was just the two of them, out in the evening for the first time in ten years.

She swallowed. The woman shouldn't have said yes to his request.

Albus slowed down once they were well away from the castle. Quite fearfully, she stepped up to him to walk beside the man. He had his arms behind his back, as if he were hiding something. He didn't look at her first, just kept staring straight forward at the Forbidden Forest, but then his eyes met hers. They were engaging, just like they had always been…just like she knew them to be.

"How have you been these past ten years, Minerva?" he asked quietly, maybe even sadly.

Only if she were forced to admit it would she say that the question caught her off guard. Not many things came as a surprise to her, his question was one of the few. Minerva didn't know what she was expecting for him to say, but that couldn't have been it. In her mind preceding his question she had thought he would start off with perhaps how much sugar he still kept in his desk drawer or school perhaps…but Albus was always one to get straight to the point. Why did it disturb her so much to start the subject off with her?

The woman shrugged slowly. "I suppose I can't complain," she lied, "I've gotten lucky what with some of the mistakes I've made."

He raised an eyebrow. "How can you possibly have made any mistakes?"

Minerva replied quite bluntly; not afraid to speak the truth, even if it hurt in the end. When he found out years and years from then, he needed to know. Besides, it was obvious that their walk and talk would be a time for confession. "You must understand that I love my daughter," she whispered, "but she wasn't planned at all."

"That does not necessarily make her a mistake, Min. Maybe she was a gift. Like on Christmas when you receive a pair of socks that you don't really want…in the winter you find them rather nice to have."

The woman nodded. She would never understand his way of thinking. He had been like that a decade before as well. Albus always made thousands of analogies and metaphors that couldn't possibly make sense if he weren't the one saying them. Maybe it was his mind she had fallen in love with so many years ago. "I suppose it could be thought of like that. I wouldn't trade her in for anything."

"You really are a good mother."

Minerva stared at him for a second. When did he have any chance to see her be a mother at all? "Why do you say that?"

"My walk with Madelyn. She had some very nice things to say about you."

"Oh." Minerva glanced up at the lit window of the castle where her daughter was. She could have told Albus anything. Any other man it wouldn't have mattered, but he had been the one. He could deduce the truth if enough clues were given. "What did you talk about?"

"Everything; moving, the castle, the sky, you, families…whatever took our fancies we talked about. You know she really is a clever girl for being as young as she is. I must say she looks nothing like you, but she most certainly has a mind like yours."

The woman took that as a compliment. Though she had made mistakes of her own, her mind had always been held in the highest regard, at least by her professors; Albus was not the only one, either. There was a time when they all had thought she would be absolutely brilliant one day…

"I suppose you were rather inquisitive with her?" Minerva asked, slightly curious.

He shrugged. "Why shouldn't I be when you refuse to tell me anything."

The woman looked at his eyes where he stared right back. He knew why she didn't tell him anything personal. He knew that she hurt. Albus had seen her before he took Maddy out; he had surely seen her sadness. "That isn't fair," she whispered.

"No," he nodded, "but as of when is life fair? It wasn't fair to us."

She didn't know why it struck her so to hear him say it. Maybe it was just because the truth could be an oddly surprising thing. There was nothing fair about what happened between them; there never had been. When she was young and in love, he was a teacher and she was what she was; young. Even then they had found a way, but it was expelled quickly with the end of her seventh year. Their relationship was torn like paper.

Minerva didn't reply to his comment. There was nothing to say.

"She said that you loved her father."

The woman blinked. This statement did not surprise her at all. If Albus asked, Madelyn would surely have replied what her mother had always said. Minerva had once loved Maddy's father; that was no lie. "Yes, I did."

He didn't know that she was staring straight at the man in question. Albus did not even realize that the woman was looking him up and down. Everything from his nose to his feet was part of Maddy. And everything from his nose to his feet had once been what she loved most in the world. But that was ages ago. Now he was just a part of her sorrowful past.

"If I'm not being too intrusive, how long after we…separated did you fall in love with him?"

Her stomach churned at the end of his question. It made a giant, painful circle capable of bringing tears to her eyes. She hadn't fallen in love with anyone after him…not in ten years.

"I don't remember," she whispered, "he just came and went so quickly that it's a blur to me." Naturally, she was not only speaking to him, but about him in an odd sense. He had come fast…it had been a blur for the longest time…but it was very slowly coming back to her as she spent time in the castle.

"What happened to him?"

She glanced around herself, anywhere but at him. How could she possibly keep herself from telling him that he was standing beside her? Minerva decided to look forward and keep him at the side of her vision line. "He didn't love me," her voice cracked slightly. She had told herself that for years. Minerva even believed it for the longest time. Then there came to be evidence to prove otherwise…it was in a drawer enclosed by an envelope.

"How could he not love someone as wonderful as you?" He seemed genuine in his question, a slight hint of emotion in his voice. She knew what he was thinking. Albus wondered why he couldn't have been the lucky one to love her. He had no idea that he was the subject line of their conversation.

The woman shook her head slowly. "I don't know. He-he lied to me. I was too vulnerable to even tell him I was pregnant."

"Does he know now?"

"No," she shook her head, "he's a carefree bachelor as far as I know." Alright, so it wasn't the truth. It was patently clear that he was just as heartbroken as she was, but there was no room for second chances. They were to remain separated.

Albus nodded slowly. "Maddy said you don't see men, either?"

"No." It was true. She didn't see men except for in the office. The majority of them were pigs who deserved to get slaughtered. She had only the time for her family and job. There were no additions or in-betweens. "I've had enough heartbreak already. I don't need any more."

"Did I break your heart?"

She slowly stopped walking; every step she took was slower and slower until there was no motion to slow down. It was such an obvious and redundant question it was hardly worth asking. Minerva stared at him, her arms placed protectively across her chest. "As far as I am concerned, you broke your promise to me. Yes, Albus." She paused. "You broke my heart into a million pieces and quite frankly, most of them never got put back together."

"I never meant to."

Minerva blinked. "But you did," she whispered, "That's all that matters."

Albus nodded slowly and looked down at the ground. "Can we sit?"

"That's the ground. The wet ground I would like to add," she spoke cynically. Why on Earth would she want to sit on the ground? She would much rather walk where she didn't need to worry about personal space or where she could limit the questions he asked.

"It never bothered you before."

What an argument it was! A decade ago…she would have done anything for him. Quite obviously, she had been very near to doing anything. "I was a lovesick teenager before."

He shrugged and plopped himself on the ground. "Suit yourself. You're going to get awfully tired of standing there, though."

She rolled her eyes. "You are not going to have me sit there. I would much rather walk right back to my chambers than stay out here with you on the wet lawn."

"You never were good at lying, Min," he smiled, "the lawn beckons."

Minerva shook her head, a playful smile creeping on her face. It wasn't her fault that it came up though. He started it. "Are you insinuating that I would like to sit on that cold green mush?"

"Quite possibly." Twinkle, twinkle, his eyes started blinking gently.

"I believe you are assuming too much, Albus."

He shrugged again. "Perhaps. But you're so set on proving me wrong that you wouldn't sit even if I were right. So as an alternative, I have an idea."

"And what might that be?" she questioned.

"I keep your wand until you do." He held up Minerva's wand between his forefingers with an impish grin on his face, teasing her. He waved it infront of her face where she made a snap for it. He pulled it down too quickly for the woman to reach it.

Angrily, she glared. "Give me my wand back."

He patted the earth beside him with a smile. "Gladly, once we've finished our conversation on the ground."

She stared at him angrily. She was too old for the idiotic banter that was going on and most definitely for sitting on the ground like a child. There was absolutely no way for him to get her to sit beside him in the dark on the wet lawn…no way. "I'm not sitting," she shook her head, "not."

"You know," he scratched his chin thoughtfully, "you were always stubborn, more so now, so I hear. Is that true?"

Silence. She continued to glare at him without a word. She wouldn't give him the satisfaction of knowing that he was aggravating her.

"I see it is." Twinkle, twinkle; his eyes glittered in the moonlight. "You said that you wanted to find out what happened between us, and so that is what we are doing…but we can't conduct the discussion unless we can come to an equal eye level."

She rolled her eyes. "Then get up here, with me. I'm not in the mood for your silly games."

"Am I silly to you, Minerva?"

The woman thought it over slowly. She knew what she really thought, way down deep inside of her; he was brilliant when he needed to be. He was many things from what she could remember, silly was not usually one of them, at least not in the sense that he used. Minerva sighed. "Not usually."

"Then sit. It's only a request."

"No." She had to shake her head. She wouldn't go down to the level that she had once been. Minerva refused to go with every whim that he had. He was not anything to her anymore besides an old love…at least that was all he would ever know. They were no longer.

Albus made a heavy, heart wrenching sigh. "We used to come out here together. Do you remember that?"

The woman nodded. Yes, she remembered; that's why she refused to do it again. That was why she would not do so little as sit on the ground with him…beside him.

"Why did we stop? Do you remember?"

She blinked. "The Headmaster saw us once."

"Oh yes, I remember. He wasn't very pleased with me. I told him that we were talking about some problems you were having. I don't suppose he ever believed my story."

Minerva shook her head slowly. The Headmaster hadn't believed it. He monitored at least Minerva for a few weeks after that. She had never understood why it created so much fuss; all her and Albus had done was sit and talk and maybe count the stars once or twice. "He didn't," she admitted, "he kept watch on me after that."

"He must not have watched you close enough."

"Why do you say that?"

Albus shrugged. "That wasn't too long before your graduation."

Minerva made just as heavy a sigh as he. "Indeed." For only a second the images drifted past her mind. They were nothing if not hurtful for her to think about, but they floated in her imagination none the less. She saw him and her kissing; she saw them naked beneath a sheet. She could hear herself whispering 'I love you.' A slight flashback for only a second and then it was gone; it did its job though. Minerva fell to her knees and sat beside Albus with her arms wrapped tightly around her calves.

He smiled confidently. He had meant to get to her, to make her think about what had happened. His entire motive for getting her to come out with him was for the sole purpose of talking about their short lived romance.

There was silence for a few seconds, neither one of them wanting to break the soft hum of the wind. Albus was lost in his thoughts, and Minerva lost in hers. She kept glancing at him, her Albus once removed. He didn't take his eyes off of her once. Perhaps they both were lost in the same thoughts, remembering the very same things. Or maybe he only wanted to study her face, the way that she had wanted to when she was young. Perhaps the man only wished to memorize every curve and color of her, so he could one day reflect on the way she had once been.

When there was sound, it was a very soft whisper from Minerva. "How have you been, these past years?" She was curious. Had he been as miserable and heartbroken as she had? Did he ever get over that thing that there was between them? On the whole, perhaps that was a redundant thought on her part because of what she already knew. He was obviously just as heartbroken as her…he wouldn't have called her out the way he had unless there was pain and regret as there was for Minerva.

"I suppose I've gotten along well enough. With the exception of that first year, things have been just buzzing by like clockwork."

She knew what he was referring to by calling it "the first year", it would be obvious to any old lover. If she had not had a child to take care of, then she would have probably referred to it as he did. He meant the time that they spent apart, that first year of heartbreak when nothing seemed to make sense and the pain was almost too much to bare.

"Was it hard for you?" She had to ask it, it was more than curiosity. She needed to know who suffered more. Was it she who had his child without his knowledge or he who never knew that she loved him with everything inside of her? Maybe they were equally hurt, though that was a hard concept for her to believe; she was the one who sobbed for months on end.

"I didn't ever stop wondering about what had happened, if that's what you mean. I thought about you all of the time…I still do."

Minerva shook her head sadly. "So you never…found someone?"

"I thought I had found her," he looked at her painfully, "but she lied to me. I was never given the chance to prove to her that I loved her."

She stared at him, unblinking. He was talking about her. She didn't think that because of what he said, but because of the way he looked into the woman's eyes. He stared just the way that he always had; the way he did when he used to say that he loved her. "I know you loved me," she whispered softly.

He nodded slowly. "I wanted to prove it to you. I had it all planned out and everything," he said gently, "I was going to meet your parents, take you out for a romantic dinner, and then ask you to marry me."

The woman stared at him, completely dumbstruck. Her jaw had no feeling left and her eyes didn't blink. If someone had been there to tap her, she would have fallen straight back with her head to the wet ground.

Albus continued when there was no reaction besides her stillness. "The unfortunate thing is," he shrugged, "that I never did get a chance to set up a meeting with either you or your parents."

"Oh Merlin," she whispered softly as she felt her throat compress. She tried to swallow it down, but it was a futile attempt. Tears began filling up her eyes and the image before her, Albus Dumbledore, went blurry.

It was her fault and only hers. If she had gone to him, told him about Madelyn, they would have gotten married and would be happy. Her unhappiness was the spawn of a very bad decision. If just an hour of her time had been spent telling the father of her child the truth, then all would have been well. Alas it was not; instead, her lover was heartbroken, misinformed, and unhappy all in the same moment.

She felt his warm hand on her face as he wiped away the tears with his thumb. Minerva placed her fingers over his and waited for the tears to conclude. When her vision was clear again, she stared at him, into his wonderfully brilliant eyes. He was so close…they were so close. She knew so very deep down that there could never be any turning back, that what she had done would forever hinder the concept of them being together, but her mind was running every which way already. "Why, Albus? Why?" she asked sadly. She didn't know what she was referring to, whether it was why he hadn't come, the letters hadn't been received, or Madelyn had to be, but she asked nonetheless.

He shook his head. "I don't know, Minerva. I suppose we are both fortune's foe."

Her head bobbed slowly. "This isn't fair."

"I agree," he whispered, "nothing seems to be fair anymore."

She nodded again. Then there was a silence that was not nearly as uncomfortable as the first few. He was still very close and she was still very vulnerable. They were both glad to be so near to what they thought was lost long ago. Albus was the first to speak. "What do you suppose happened to the letters I sent you?"

Minerva shrugged. "Someone must have gotten to them before they got to me."

"Like who?"

"I don't know," she admitted. There wasn't anyone who would keep her letters away from her. Everyone she knew would have been happy for her to hear from a gentleman caller. It didn't make any sense.

"Who usually got your mail?"

"The house elves. They brought it to my parents and me."

"Do you suppose your parents could have stopped them from getting to you?"

She thought about for a second and replied her honest answer. "No. They knew I was waiting for your letter and they knew that I loved you. They wouldn't ever dream of hurting me like that."

"Perhaps they had other intentions?"

Minerva stared at Albus. Was he honestly suggesting her parents intercepted her letters? They wouldn't do it…wouldn't. They knew that she loved him. Her mother and father were both believers in love; they would not get in the way of it.

"What do you mean?"

"Maybe they had wanted you to marry someone else? Maybe they wanted you to start working? Maybe they just didn't like me?"

"No," Minerva shook her head. "None of it fits. They couldn't have done it."

Albus nodded slowly. "You would know better than me, I suppose."

The woman bobbed her head in agreement. She did know better than he did. Her mother and father wouldn't do anything to hurt her. They all had a tendency to argue, but they would never intentionally hurt their daughter…they would love anyone she chose to love, simple as that.

"It's getting late, Min," Albus whispered softly. "We ought to go back in. You've got a daughter to take care of."

And then he took her into the castle, onto the staircase, and up to her room where he stopped outside of her door to ask one very final question. "Are we friends now?"

She nodded slowly. Indeed they were friends; she had nothing to resent him for anymore. They could be what they really were; Albus and Minerva. There wasn't any need to hide anything…they knew what mattered already; it couldn't have been either one of their faults because each were equally and terribly heartbroken. "I believe we are," she whispered, "I do hope this can work."

"Me too," he sighed. "I hope you know I still love you."

Minerva swallowed. They were only words, but they hurt to hear because there was nowhere to go from them. He was at ground zero with nothing but air to build up. She bit her lip as her throat tightened. "Good night, Albus."

"Good night," he replied gently. "Sleep well."

"I will," she whispered, "I'll be dreaming about tonight." And then she shut the door behind her as he started walking away. There was a matter of seconds where she stood with the door to her back and looked around the empty room. It was so empty, so quiet besides the light that was slowly flickering in the minute corridor between her daughter's room and her own. The woman walked down and into her daughter's pink room. Madelyn was sleeping already, quite surprisingly. She had a very exhausting two days. Minerva kissed her on the forehead and then made her way to the living room after blowing out the candle.

She stared outside onto the grass. It was darker in one area right in the middle of the lawn; the place she knew that Albus and she had been sitting. Minerva stared at it for a few seconds, remembering what had happened. She could have married him. She could have had it all if one of two circumstances had occurred; she told Albus about Madelyn or she had received one of the letters. Alas it had not happened, but there was still an option.

The woman walked slowly to the drawer, pulled out the old parchment of a letter, and sat it on top of the dresser. Quickly, she got ready for bed and came back out to where the letter still stood. Minerva took it in her hands and walked towards the window where she took a seat.

Her fingers glided at the top a million times over while she thought her new knowledge through. He still loved her. She still loved him. There was no hope. If she fell in love with him again, allowed it to get out of hand, there could only be pain. She would hurt him. He would hurt her. There attempt would be meaningless when he found out what she kept from him.

But there was so much that she still needed from him. She yearned for his touch; the woman only realized it when his hands were cupped on her cheeks. Minerva still craved his hot mouth; she noticed it when she was less than a foot away. The woman still ached for the twinkle blue eyes that he possessed; she found that out when he teased her. Minerva still needed to hear his voice; she realized that after she said yes.

I was in the car ride from vacation when I had the idea for this chapter…it doesn't have more than one scene, but we finally get some "up close" one on one conversation between our ex-lovers. I thought it was rather productive, you may have a different opinion, I suppose.

If you want to see anything in particular in the future, leave me a note and I can try to fit it in!

Well, I thank anyone who got this far and I would really appreciate some feedback. If you have the time or want to comment on something, there's a little button at the bottom of this screen that could be rather helpful. I luv u all!

cookies 2 u!

minni