Chapter 5

Edward watched protectively for a few moments until he was sure that Alphonse was fine playing with Elysia as he lay on the couch nearby where they were playing. He refused to be away from his brother, and started kicking and crying when Gracia started to move him into another room so he could rest off the remainder of his fever. So, they compromised.

Alphonse and Elysia would play in the livingroom, on the floor, and Edward would rest on the couch.

Scieszka would watch the two, and often play with them.

Edward smiled, then thought for a moment and turned to look at the woman that was preparing snacks on the table near the couch. "Gwacia?"

"Yes?" Gracia blinked, looking over at him, "Is something wrong?"

Edward shook his head, "No…but I gots a question."

Gracia nodded, "Go ahead, Edo."

"I think some'n might be wong with Woi and Wiza," Edward stated.

Gracia blinked and sat down on the couch next to him, "What makes you say that?"

"They keep tuwn'n wed whenevew they look at each othew…and, they look at each othew when they think the othew isn't look'n! And theiw faces awe all wed! Awe they sick?"

Gracia couldn't help but laugh.

Edward let out a whine to let her know that her laughter on the subject wasn't wanted, welcome, or helping.

Gracia shook her head, "Sorry, Edo…how do I explain this? They're in love with each other, but they aren't sure about it."

"In wove? Like…I wove Awu?"

"No, no…it's a different kind of love," Gracia found herself slightly amused that she was trying to explain the 'birds and the bees' to a two-almost-three year old, when her own daughter wouldn't be asking for another nine years or so.

"Diffewent wove?" Edward blinked.

Gracia nodded, "Like…mommy and daddy love."

"Oh!" Edward nodded, "So, Woi and Wiza wove each othew like mommies and daddies, but they'we too scawed to say so!"

Gracia blinked. How old did they say he was, again…? "Y-yes. Is that all, Edo?"

Edward nodded and lay down, "Yep! Tankies, Gwacia!"

Gracia nodded and stood up, then continued to set up the snacks, missing the toothy grin on Edward's face that meant he was plotting something.

By the time Roy and Riza picked the two boys up, Edward's fever was gone, and he was back to normal…though, he had this goofy grin on his face that slightly worried Roy since it reminded him too much of how one fifteen year old Edward Elric, aka the Fullmetal Alchemist, would grin when he was about to do something crazy.

Since the two boys had eaten at Gracia's house, they were set to play quietly in the playpen in the livingroom (being watched by Black Hayate) while Roy and Riza ate in the kitchen.

"Awu," Edward whispered.

The other toddler blinked and leaned in to hear.

"We gotta keep this secwet, but we gotta get Woi and Wiza togethew," Edward whispered.

Alphonse nodded, then gurgled a question.

Edward nodded, "Yep. They wove each othew like mommies and daddies do. Gwacia said so! But they'we too scawed to say so! So we gotta do it fow them!"

Alphonse let out a smile that nearly matched his brother's mischievous one.

"Hewe awe the plans…" Edward pulled out a piece of paper and a crayon, "Plan one…we lock them in a woom togethew." He drew out the ideas as he said them.

Alphonse seemed to consider the idea, then shook his head.

Edward thought a moment, then drew another picture, "Kay…plan two…we say it fow them!"

Alphonse thought, then shook his head 'no'.

Edward frowned, and drew another one, "Um…plan thwee……um…we can…" he paused, tapping his chin in thought, "…get up way eawly an'…um…move theiw boots so's they gotta find em and then we'll be wait'n with em and they'll…" Edward frowned, then crumpled up that paper and tossed it, "Nah. Wun wowk."

Black Hayate caught the paper in his mouth, his tail wagging.

"I know!" Edward grinned, "We wite a lettew fow them and have Bwack Hayate give it to them, and then have them meet somewhewes!"

Alphonse pointed to a piece of paper where Edward had written a few letters, indicating that it was sloppy and wouldn't fool anyone.

Edward sighed and rolled onto his back, "What do we do, then?"

Alphonse crossed his little arms in thought.

Edward sighed, "It'll be bedtime soon…and then…" an idea hit him, and he grinned, then looked up at Alphonse, "I gots a gweat idea that's suwe to wowk! Listen to this, Awu!" He sat up and started whispering something to his brother.

Black Hayate leaned in closer and raised an ear slightly as if listening in as well.

Alphonse nodded, then again, then his grin mirrored Edward's. He nodded.

Black Hayate's tail wagged.

Edward grinned.

Getting the two to bed had been difficult. Edward kept whining and throwing a fit, and Alphonse would start to cry when Edward was removed from his sight.

Roy and Riza just gave up and let the two sleep together…and were relieved when they finally stopped throwing fits and just seemed to snuggle together and close their eyes.

Roy and Riza then managed to stammer out a 'goodnight' to each other before going to their own rooms.

"One…two…thwee……"

A pause.

Then…

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!"

Edward and Alphonse wailed at the top of their lungs.

Their combined screaming had both Roy and Riza stumbling into the room. Neither were awake enough to wonder why Black Hayate hadn't started barking.

"What's wrong with them?" Roy asked, checking them over.

"Another nightmare?" Riza questioned Edward.

The two boys continued to wail.

"Maybe they need fresh diapers…" Riza checked…Alphonse was a tiny bit wet, but Edward was dry.

"Are you two hungry?" Roy tried.

The two boys continued to wail. Alphonse had tears running down his face, and Edward's face was turning slightly red.

"For goodness sakes, breath, you two!" Riza gasped, picking up Alphonse.

Roy did the same to Edward.

"What in the world got you boys so upset?" Riza asked as the two boys' wailing started to die down.

It was hard to even fake a sob when they were being held like that.

Edward sniffled, "Bad dweam."

"Both of you?" Roy raised an eyebrow.

Edward glanced at Alphonse.

Alphonse whimpered.

"Awu says him, too," Edward stated.

"Okay…what was the dream about?" Roy asked.

Edward said the first thing that popped into his mind, "The thwee scawy men fwom ealiew."

Alphonse sniffled and nodded.

"You won't let them huwt us, wight?" Edward sniffled dramatically.

"No…you two are completely safe," Roy lay Edward back in bed.

Riza started to do the same with Alphonse…except Alphonse had a tight grip on her pajama sleeve.

"What if they come out when you weave?" Edward asked fearfully.

"That's impossible," Roy shook his head.

Edward whimpered and tears welled up in his eyes, "But…you gotsta pwotect us! They was scawed of you! Pwease?" He tugged on Roy's arm.

Roy, off balanced, stumbled and fell onto the bed.

"Edo…" Roy started.

Edward sniffled, an expression on his face that predicted a lot of tears.

Alphonse, meanwhile, was already wailing again when Riza tried to get him to let go.

"How about I stay with them?" Riza offered.

"But I want Woi to stay!" Edward whined.

"I guess I will, then…?" Roy raised an eyebrow.

Alphonse whined.

"But Awu wants Wiza to stay!" Edward protested.

"Well, we can't both stay…how about Black Hayate stays, too……where is that dog, anyway…?" Riza looked around.

Alphonse wailed louder, and Edward let his tears fall as he started to cry as well.

"You hate us! You'll let them take us!" Edward sobbed.

"That's not it…!"

"We'we just wittle kids! We can't defend ouwselves!" Edward continued to sob, "And thewe awe two of us! If only one of you stays, then those bad men will get one of us!"

"We won't let that happen…" Roy started.

Edward started to wail.

Alphonse joined in a moment later.

"Okay, okay!" Roy climbed into bed next to Edward, on the outside, his cheeks glowing a slight red, "That better?!"

Riza was blushing as well as she climbed in next to Alphonse, on the opposite end of Roy.

Alphonse and Edward immediately calmed down, and curled up, smiling.

"Tankies! Awu says tankies, too! Now we'll be safe!" Edward smiled, then ducked his head back into the pillow and winked at Alphonse.

Alphonse finished his sniffles and resisted a giggle as he winked back, the two flashing mischievous grins at each other that only they could see before closing their eyes.

"…well, this is awkward…"

"…yes, it is."

"…are the two asleep yet?"

Riza leaned over and checked, then nodded, "They're fast asleep. Finally."

"What a mess…I wonder what got into them?"

"Who knows? I told you that taking them down into that prison wasn't a good idea."

"I had to take Edward down to identify the three. You decided to bring Alphonse."

"You know as well as I do that those two start throwing temper tantrums when they're separated."

"…" Roy stared at the ceiling.

Riza was also staring at the ceiling. She glanced over to look at Roy at the same time he looked over at her.

The two looked away, blushing.

"Well…it's only for one night…" Roy coughed.

"Y-yes…just one night…"

Silence again.

"Riza…are you asleep?"

Riza blushed. He called me by my first name…? Can it be that he…? "N-no…are you?"

"Obviously not," Roy tried to smirk, but it was weakened due to his nervousness. Me? Nervous? Just because I'm sharing a bed with Riza? No…NO. Not sharing a bed with her…it's because of the two kids. Right. The two kids.

Riza was also thinking along the same lines. It's not just with Roy…it's with Edward and Alphonse, too. Don't think about Roy…don't think about the fact that the only things separating him and you are two tiny boys………

Roy was also reaching the same conclusions, and he glanced at her.

Riza looked back at him.

Roy coughed and looked away.

Riza sighed and looked at the ceiling.

Silence again.

"Y-you know…it's not that bad…" Riza finally broke the silence once more.

Roy nodded, "I never thought of myself to be a family man. Ever."

"Guess you were wrong for once, hmm?"

"It happens to the best of us."

Riza gave him a look.

Roy snapped his jaws shut and gulped.

Just then, they heard Black Hayate bark, and something scamper.

Roy and Riza had jumped a bit, before relaxing.

"He chases mice?" Roy came to the conclusion.

Riza nodded, "Yes…there's this annoying, female black mouse that keeps on coming back every night. I'm beginning to suspect that the two just do their little act for fun."

"He was woken up by the mouse, but not by Edward and Alphonse's wailing?" Roy raised an eyebrow.

"Don't ask me," Riza shrugged, "Maybe he had to go out, and went through the flap in the door."

"He would have come back from the noise."

Riza nodded.

Roy gave a sudden chuckle, "I feel as if he conspired against us."

"You mean, leaving us alone like this?"

"E-Edward and Alphonse are here, too…" Roy stammered.

"R-right…" Riza blushed.

Roy glanced over at her, and reached an arm over the two boys, taking her hand that was closest to him.

Riza suppressed a shocked gasp, and just stiffened before relaxing, moving her arm up so he wouldn't have to reach so far. "I think you can do better…but you're being a fine father, Roy Mustang."

Roy smirked a bit, but there was only warmth in it, "And you're a little short tempered, but an excellent mother, Riza Hawkeye."

The two leaned forward, only to be interrupted when Edward kicked out in his sleep and caught Roy in the chest while, down the hall, Black Hayate's barking startled them again.

"Continue this in the morning?" Riza asked.

Roy rubbed his chest and nodded, eyeing the boy, "Yes…"

"Goodnight, Roy."

Roy blinked a couple times, then smiled, "Goodnight, Riza."

They thought they were up early, so when they had to break apart from the kiss due to snickering, they were a little surprised.

Roy and Riza blushed and looked at the two kids standing at the entrance to the kitchen, grinning up at them.

"Um…are you kids hungry?" Riza asked.

The two nodded.

Alphonse held his arms up, and Edward climbed onto a chair.

Riza put Alphonse in his high chair, and started making something.

"Does this mean that Wiza is ouw mommy and Woi is ouw daddy?" Edward asked.

Roy and Riza paused, then glanced at each other.

"Yes…I think it does, Edo," Riza smiled.

Roy nodded in agreement.

Edward and Alphonse gave each other a high-five, then winked at Black Hayate, who wagged his tail in return.

Roy noticed that out of the corner of his eye. It couldn't be…

"Something wrong?" Riza asked.

Roy eyed the boys and the dog once more. A toddler with no idea of how love works, another toddler that can only say one word, and a dog that can't speak at all.

"Roy?"

Roy blinked and looked at Riza after casting one last glance at the grinning trio, briefly wondering how Black Hayate managed to get a grin on his dog-face. He blinked, and it was gone. He shook his head, "No…it's nothing…"

Riza glanced at the two boys and the dog, catching innocent grins from them before turning to Roy and raising an eyebrow, "You don't think…?"

"It's impossible."

Riza nodded, "Completely."

Despite that, the two stared at the giggling boys and the tail-wagging dog for a long time before turning back around.

"We'll still call each other by ranks at the office…"

"This is going to spread like wildfire among the men…no use in hiding it," Roy ran a hand through his hair.

Riza nodded, then held up her gun, "If they have a problem with it, they can take it up with me."

Roy sweatdropped, "Remind me what I got myself into just now…?"

Riza walked over and kissed him on the lips briefly before serving breakfast to the kids and taking her seat, "Does that answer your question?"

Roy smiled, and took his seat as well, "Yes…it does."

Not surprising to Edward, Alphonse's next word he spoke was 'yay', which he cheered so right after breakfast was over along with Edward. Black Hayate had barked as if cheering as well.

Roy and Riza exchanged looks again, then shook their heads. Couldn't be…

Edward, Alphonse, and Black Hayate grinned at each other and winked from one to the other. Edward gave a playful salute to the other two, mimicking what he saw around the military base. Black Hayate bowed his head, and Alphonse gave a sloppy salute back to Edward, giggling.

The plan had worked. Mission accomplished.

THE END