ugh. I can explain. I was planning on having this chapter be regular length, but it just kinda…kept getting longer. So my half way became a quarter of the way, and then an eighth. Sorry about that…serves me right, I always seem to jinx myself.
haha. I doubt any of you will care, but I have to tell you this story about me that happened today. I was at volleyball practice and I was playing really close to the (back) out line. Um…anyhow, the ball was served right to me, and I was ready to receive it, then it moved! It came right at my head…so I ducked and fell right on my butt:) good news is that the ball was out. bad news is that I was laughed at for the rest of practice. Oh well, I can take it. smile; it sets off a domino effect.
um…k…notes…
wait…no…author's note…
Yes, the song is a real song and I absolutely adore it. I listened to it the entire time that I was writing this chapter. It made me want to cry some times…and yes, my statement will make sense at the end of this chap.
k…reviewers notes!...
esb: well, I can't give you too much on how this whole "why didn't you tell him" thing will play out or else the story will be ruined, but it will be um…relationship defining. (grins) And as far as Min. not telling him, certainly she is capable, be more scared. Eventually it will come out.
Hogwarts Duo: Of course they're growing closer and closer…what kind of a romance would this be otherwise? ;) And yup yup, she will keep her secret for a while longer…give it a month. psssssst…you're a great reviewer and I am eternally grateful.
Alesia G: You know, you've got this insane ability to predict what's going to happen. gr. anyhow, it's going to get more and more obvious as the story goes on…of course in this chap. Albus sort of starts seeing it, but I won't go into nemore detail as far as that. Haha, you've no idea how sorry min will be, but again…no more detail will be given on that little comment.
Quill of Minerva: Spoken like a genius my dear friend. Nope, Min can't deny her feelings for our Albus and she won't ever be able to. Love is forever…I know that may sound sort of dumb, but I think I believe it. :) Hope you enjoy the update.
girl from Iceland: Ah, I love reading your reviews. they make me feel all fuzzy inside. Well, I hope this chapter is just a teensy bit more brilliant than the last chapter because I put some extra careful thought into it.
TartanPhoenix: Well yes, we all know that there are obviously two major conflicts in this story. One would be simply the initial getting together and the other is Minerva telling Albus about Maddy…one down and one to go. Anyhow, I hope this chapter satisfies your appetite for more. I luv U much!
Leta McGotor: See, it's funny because you're the first one to bring up the whole Gryffindor concept. I had expected it to be flying everywhere on my review page…anywho, I tried to be as specific as possible when I initially had her be made the Head of Gryffindor. From my point of view (and hopefully yours) she was very much just put in the position without asking. I know this doesn't really solve your question or problem on being frustrated with Minerva…she SHOULD tell Albus, but we also know that the woman is slightly insecure when it comes to certain things. Sorry about that, but you are absolutely right…I just like to make you understand the characters a little bit more than you would initially.
Silver Sorceress: I will have you know that I started laughing when I read your review…not that I usually laugh at someone else's expense, mind you. I'm really glad that you enjoyed the last chapter so much. It was pretty versatile in the field of emotions, I think. I try my best, but then again, I'm only a 15 year old who seems to have nothing better to do but write stories. :)
leyaeb: I can't promise you anything as far as emotions, my friend. Albus may be happy, sad, angry, etc. when Minerva tells him, but that's a little ways off…then again, (just to put the thought in your head) there's always the chance that he could figure it out on his own. After all, he is supposed to have one of the best minds of the century, is he not? (wink wink) Anyhow, here's your update! Thank you lots.
DumbledoresKitten: Oh wow, you felt pretty strong about the last chapter, didn't you:) Hm…Well, let's answer your questions because…(haha) that is what these little notes are for! How could Minerva not tell Albus? Well of course she's scared, but I'm sure you knew that…you probably meant your question to be more rhetorical than actually answered. So, simply put, she's a scared wittle pussy tat. And I'm very glad you've taken up predicting what's to come. It makes a writer feel good when they can see that their readers are so into the story. Oui, Albus will eventually find out and question the relationship, but no details shall be admitted at this time. Hope you enjoy the update!
Portkeys Miss-Mione: OH yes! I love this couple. All of my friends think I'm nuts (particularly a Snape fan…) for liking this pairing. OH well. And as far as fighting over Madelyn…well, Albus and Minerva won't "fight" over Maddy…it'll be more over the concept of Madelyn. (sighs) Tough times ahead…but happy times first. Me thinks you'll like this chapter, it's most from the Headmaster's point of view.
kidarock: Oh I love it! Sort of together? (smiles) It's amazing to see how people think in terms of the relationship at hand. Yup, they are sort of together…because together would involve a truthful relationship and we all know that there is a big truth that hasn't been put out there yet. tehe. I'm sorry if you couldn't log in to review before! It seems I have the worst luck with that! Somehow I'm always the one that gets shorted notes because the site spasses out just for me. Oh well, I'm glad to get any support. Luv lots!
okay everyone! Onward...
Chapter Eleven: It's Been a Long, Long Time
A smile played at Albus's lips throughout breakfast. He knew why he smiling, he knew how to stop himself, but he couldn't do it. With Minerva in all her beauty rare sitting beside him, he had every right to grin. She was quite clearly his again.
He didn't exactly mean to be possessive over the concept of their newly blossomed relationship, he merely thought of it as the truth. Minerva had been everywhere, probably loved by millions of men; Albus was just finally happy to have his turn. For the moment, and hopefully for eternity, he held the illustrious woman's heart.
The man was content with the fact that he had kissed her the night before. It was the way he had always pictured their second first kiss. Albus had meant to sweep her off of her feet, but what he had done was close enough; a wall was just as productive. Minerva hadn't seemed to mind anyhow. When he was pushing her against the side of her quarters, he certainly felt her give back whatever strength, or more appropriately lust, there was left in her system.
He glanced beside him to the woman who was currently picking at a stack of pancakes. Albus leaned over to whisper into her ear. "Are you nervous?"
Minerva nodded her head slowly. Albus could see that look of discomfort on her face. Certainly she was all nerves. Why shouldn't she be? It was her first day teaching. He put a hand on her shoulder gently. "You'll do fine. It hasn't been that long since you were around so many students."
The woman met eyes with him, that already infamous glare on her face. "Must you keep bringing up the fact that I'm so young?"
He thought for a moment and then nodded his head. For some reason, it seemed to bother her that she was so young; whether it was because of him or the working environment, he did not know. "Must you keep glaring at me when I state the facts?" he whispered playfully.
Like magic, a delighted smile replaced her glare and she folded her arms. "I think that if we don't, people may suspect something between us."
He leaned in closer to her so he could whisper into the woman's ear. "Quite rightly, mind you. Speaking of which," the grin on his face expanded, "might I be able to visit you today? After all, it's only natural that the Headmaster ought to look in on his newest addition to the staff."
Minerva raised an eyebrow and stared at him. "What's going through your mind, Albus?"
The man shrugged playfully. The both of them knew what was going through his head; he would not have been as trusting to that fact as he was had Minerva not taken an interested look on her face. Her eyes almost shined, he noticed. A smile played at the edge of her hot, contradictory mouth; the mouth he so desperately wanted to kiss.
She shook her head slowly, that curve on her lips not losing its effect. "Tell me. What are you thinking?" she purred.
He blinked and then raised an eyebrow. An interested grin fell on his lips. She was playing games with him, knowing that the bat of an eyelash was even putting him under her spell. She knew what she could do to him, but he knew also his seductive powers. He replied calmly to the woman. "Why don't we cover that er, subject matter before lunch, when I come to check in on you?"
The woman eyed him for a manner of seconds, but then nodded. "You're a bad influence, did you know that?"
Albus let out a chuckle. He certainly knew it. "I do and so do you…yet you still go along with me. It's your own fault, Minerva."
Minerva shook her head again as she rolled her eyes. "I haven't done anything wrong yet, so you can't put the blame on me, my dear Professor Dumbledore." She stared at him with that knowing expression; God, how he had missed it. She'd always done it years before…it was, to put in best words, her 'I'm brilliant and I know it' face. The expression came about most often when they bantered.
He looked at the woman and then grabbed her hand gently. For a few seconds, he had thought she would pull away, but she did no such thing; the woman just stared at him, allowing him to do what he wished. Albus slid his fingers through the gap between hers with a half grin on his face. "I do believe this was considered very wrong a number of years ago."
While the woman was a student back then, he was a teacher. She had been looked in on by the Headmaster; Albus had been reprimanded on doing anything of any friendly nature with the girl. Certainly holding hands had been one of things that he was scolded for...almost even sacked for after he refused to stop.
A blush crept on the woman's usually pale cheeks. "I don't see how it could be considered wrong now."
He nodded slowly. He did see the reasons why it was wrong and he knew that Minerva, too, did clearly see them. For both of their sakes, they each pretended like there was nothing wrong with becoming involved. From the universal point, there wasn't anything bad about being together. However, in the professional point, they were putting themselves on a very fine line. They were to be educators and conduct themselves in the proper manner; their dilemma was what could possibly be the right way to act?
Albus shrugged off the idea of what was right and wrong. He knew it was right to be with Minerva and that was all that mattered. "Nor do I, Min."
Minerva stared around her currently empty classroom, soon to be filled with twenty students or so. Her first class was to be the advanced seventh years. The fact of the matter was that she really didn't want to be put in such a high position so soon. All of them were most definitely well educated and besides that, they had been taught by Professor Dumbledore the entire time they had been at school. It would be hard for her to be compared to Albus.
She wouldn't deny it; she was inexperienced with teaching and even teenagers. All of it was different than what she had ever done. Minerva had been writing for as long as she could really remember; that involved no one but herself and parchment. There had never really been a need to even speak with her so called peers. Now that she was in a long forgotten classroom working up her anxieties, the woman truly wished she had been worldly enough to have a word or two with those that she worked with…at least then she would have some confidence.
The woman took a hard swallow and looked out the nearest window. There had been many times where she just stood and stared lazily onto the lawn. It always had a calming effect on her. The green grass, walking students, and blue sky just seemed to prove to her all that was right in the world, giving her a newfound serenity. It was silly, she knew, but it worked and that's all that mattered.
Somewhere between the time that she was looking out and the time she turned, several students had appeared. They may have all been nearly grown teenagers, but none of them looked old enough for that. Many of them seemed to still have faces of children. Minerva raised a thoughtful eyebrow; had she looked that young when she fell for Albus?
Her sources would most definitely tell her yes, she did look that childlike and innocent back then. It became apparent to Minerva that Albus really did not have any business getting involved with her back then. It would have been wise of him to ignore whatever feelings he had gotten and vent out his emotions some other way. He had no right to fall in love with such an innocent child.
Minerva blinked, almost ashamed of her thoughts. While it was true that he ought not to have ever even kissed her, there was also a second half to the love equation they seemed to have made. The woman, or surely child back then, had been deeply enamored with him to begin with. In truth, she did everything in her power to be with him once she realized that she felt something of a higher level towards Albus. Minerva had been something of a catalyst in their relationship; provoking everything that seemed to result, including a child.
She let out a sigh, realizing the amount of students that seemed to have simply appeared. Many of them were chatting among themselves, talking about the new school year and what was to come. Others were sitting quietly by themselves either staring off into space or looking over notes; their only goal in life was to succeed, she knew that fact without even asking. The woman approached the center of the room. She waited patiently for the silence to die down, not saying a word until all forty eyes were on her. To tell the truth, Minerva was mildly surprised to see how quickly the students caught onto her little game; it couldn't have taken more than a minute for there to be complete silence. A knowing smile crossed her face.
"Welcome," she said gently, "to the advanced studies of Transfiguration. Most of you have taken this course because you demonstrate exceptional skills in transfiguration and plan on using it in the work force when you are finished with this year. I am Professor McGonagall and will be instructing on this course." She looked around the room at the open eyed students. Many of them seemed to be looking her over closely, particularly the boys. The woman blinked and shrugged it off. "I am an animagus, have been since I finished my seventh year at this school; my form is a tabby cat. In recent years I've been a journalist, traveling everywhere to study rare animals, pyramids, people, and everything in-between. Is there…anything anyone else would like to know?" she looked around the room. A majority of the students raised their hands.
She nodded in the direction of a curiously blonde girl. "Yes? Please state your name first."
"Kate Spencer. Can you show us your animagus form?"
Minerva nodded. Of course she could show them her becoming a Tabby, that hadn't been difficult since she was a teenager herself. Slowly, she allowed her body to change until she was no taller than a person's knee. The cat looked around the room, which had turned upside down as usual. Students were looking at her with interest. Inwardly, she was delighted at this fact; first impressions were everything. After a manner of a minute, Minerva changed back to human form and looked around the room.
Several students gawked at her, open mouths and everything. An animagus was a rare find, even in a wizarding school. A smile played at the woman's lips. She wouldn't deny that she enjoyed showing off, or that she liked very much the attention she was getting. The woman blinked. "The twenty of you will strive to accomplish being an animagi. If we are lucky, one of you may accomplish that feat; it's rare to have any student get it done."
Many of them still had open mouths, but others had gone back to raising their hands. She pointed at a remarkably round boy with maple colored hair.
"Chester Roman. How long ago did you graduate from here?"
"Ten years," she smiled, "and yes, before you even ask, that does make me twenty-seven." Many of the boys looked at her oddly in those few seconds, making her extremely uncomfortable. It wasn't as if they had any reason to look at her the way they did; she was too old for them anyhow.
There was now only time for one more question, Minerva needed to get on with the lesson that she and Albus had created. She nodded in the direction of a red headed boy who came off as the athletic type.
"Malic Brunson. Are you the Minerva McGonagall that's on that plaque in the main hall?"
A smile crossed her face. This boy was no doubt on the quidditch team…no one else would care enough to notice the similarity in names. She nodded her head slowly. "I was a decent Beater in my day."
"I heard that everyone on display had been asked to play Professional Quidditch."
The woman nodded her head slowly, uneasily. "Yes, you're right. Everyone on that plaque had indeed been asked to play for a living. Some of us chose brains over brawn in the end, however."
The boy looked completely dumbstruck for a few seconds. Obviously at that point in his life, quidditch was life. He lived to wake up, ride a broom, and throw that ball through the hoop. There was nothing more exhilarating than flying everyday to this boy; Minerva knew that feeling well. She had given it up though, for a family and love. If only he knew how long it had been since she had flown…
"Well then," she clasped her hands together, "shall we get started? Open your books to page fifteen."
"Your homework is to finish reading the chapter," Minerva heard her voice echo through the room. A universal groan was heard from the first years that had come in an hour ago. She smiled to herself; she had always hated homework herself, but it needed to be given. Students learned from doing things themselves; they were left to interpret the material to their own means, rather than having it all explained to them.
As if right on cue, the bell rang and the students left as quickly as they possibly could to get lunch. Minerva smiled as they walked; had she not have so many people to see, she too would be on her way to a midday meal.
The woman went into her office once the children had all piled out and stood by the window with her arms folded across her chest. She closed her eyes slowly and could quite clearly remember the thoughts that were presented in her morning class.
Had she been that young when she was in love with Albus? When he kissed her? When he made love to her?
At the time she never considered herself a child, but all logic would point to her being wrong. She had very much been a little girl. She didn't know the ways of the world, people, or even heart when she became involved with her Professor. Minerva had been as new to the world as a spring chick. She thought she had known; even believed herself to something of a know-it-all as far as the world went. Not only did the woman not know things, but what she did know was in such a foggy sense that it was even distorted. Take love for instance: she believed it was when your heart sped up and you can't think of anything but that one person. The truth was that love was far more simple and yet complicated. The woman had now deduced that love was that feeling one gets when they're with someone, that look of kindness on their face, a promise that can never be broken, and the hardest thing to live with.
Who did she love? She knew the answer to that…but it took her much longer than it should have to speak aloud. Naturally she loved her daughter; there was never a doubt in her mind to that fact. The only other person she felt a sense of love towards was Albus.
Minerva did not even love her own parents. She respected them, certainly, but never did she feel anything but that towards them. As it seemed, however, even respecting them was not an option anymore; they quite clearly disregarded their daughter and granddaughter. So to get back at them, she threw their memories and horrible words into the garbage.
She may have hurt them at one point for falling in love and having a child. It wasn't her plan, however, to do such a thing; it just sort of happened. They failed to realize that life was obviously a time where unexpected things arose and took their toll; Albus had never been part of Minerva's plan…he just came. He, with his sparkling blue eyes and creative ways of thinking, threw her life for a loop and caused her to fall for him. Yet she was punished for letting life come and hit her.
She blinked rarely as the seconds ticked by. Off into space she stared, not really seeing anything but a giant blur. Even as she felt warm hands cross her midsection, she didn't blink or make any note of it. It was obvious that Albus was there, but she was so very lost in her thoughts that she didn't feel like turning around to him. Instead she asked what she needed to directly to the glass. "Was I really that young when we fell in love?"
"What do you mean?" he whispered gently.
Minerva swallowed. "I taught seventh years this morning. They all looked so young…was I really that young when we happened?"
She could hear Albus sigh. He quite possibly knew just how wrong he had been to take Minerva the way he had, but he also knew that it felt right. It had always felt right, that's why neither of them ever ended it. "Yes, Minerva, you were that young. You were more grown up than they are, though."
The woman nodded and turned slowly in his embrace. She placed her hands around his neck and played with a red strand of hair between her fingers. "Tell me, Albus, why did you do it?" she whispered.
He smiled slowly. "I couldn't turn you down, quite truthfully. I don't know. There was just something that told me that I should be with you."
She nodded again and pulled his head towards her own. There wasn't any reason anymore to hide what was going through her mind, not any. If he wanted to, he could certainly read her thoughts anyhow. So Minerva met her lips with his.
Oh, they were just the way she remembered; soft, caring, and skilled. He had always known what he was doing when he kissed her. From the first time years and years before he had been very good at enticing her by a simple touch of the lips. Now, more than a decade from the first time, he seemed quite the knowledgeable practitioner; maybe more so than before.
He came only a fingers length away from her when his lips left hers. If she had been in a very needy state, she could have certainly reached back out and claimed his lips again. As it was, Minerva was very content. She stared up at him with that hopeless smile on her face; that one that seemed to be in place whenever he was around.
Again, the woman laced her fingers through his auburn hair and ran them through gently as she continued to stare at the man who was once her lover. She wanted to say something meaningful to him, a chain of words that would forever stick in his mind, but nothing seemed to come to her hazy mind; even the sentence 'I love you' seemed pointless, redundant. So she continued to watch him in the silence, assessing every bit of him.
She had dreamed about his face for the longest time. Even during that period where she had nearly forgotten him in her daily life she saw the man's features in her dreams. It was the way Minerva remembered it, though, that she looked upon his face during sleep. As she stood in her office, looking upon that same man, it was very clear to her that he was different. Certainly by emotional means he had not changed, but physically he was different. There were threads of lines beside his eyes, just barely visible from a few feet away. He had somehow managed to get older over the course of time that had passed between them.
The woman ran her fingers over the side of his face where the subtle indents had taken place and actually felt the years that had passed between them. The creases that she touched burned her finger; she could almost see the smoke floating into the air. A decade, nothing more, made the tips of her hands fester to the point that she had no will to touch anymore. Minerva drew back her hand.
After a long swallow, she peered at him innocently. "Do you believe that time heals?"
He nodded after a few well thought out seconds. "We wouldn't be in here, together right now if I did not believe that."
The man's words did not comfort her. Her sad, broken, deceitful soul could not be talked out of what it believed. Time hurt more than it healed; it destroyed, burned, desecrated to make everything inside someone a desolate wasteland. Nothing but truth had the power to heal.
Albus' voice interrupted her thoughts. "What are you pondering about?"
She blinked. Minerva hadn't realized that she was still looking him square in the eyes, just staring into oblivion. "Time," she whispered.
"Really?" He pulled her closer to him, if that was possible. "What about it?"
Minerva bowed her head against his chest for a fair few seconds and then looked back at him. "We've lost it," the woman said gently. "Where—where do we start after ten years?"
A smile crossed the man's face. Obviously he knew the answer and was utterly confident in it. Once he spoke it, she was amazed at the way he made it appeal to her…it was so uncomplicated. "At the beginning."
She nodded her head, knowing he was perfectly right. They would start at the beginning. It would be slow at first, barely rhythmic. Then it would pick up, going in a slow beat. Later, as they hit the high point of their relationship, a drum would beat so rapidly that it could be mistaken for her heart; thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump.
The woman let a smile graze her features as she stopped her thoughts from going any further than they already had. "You're very good at settling my anxieties, did you know that?" she said gently.
Albus nodded slowly. "I like to think that I make you feel at peace. Merlin knows you make me feel peaceful when you're by me like this."
She raised an ever so slightly surprised eyebrow. "Do I?"
"Of course." The man ran his hand gently down her cheek; it made her want to lean more into him, get closer to the warmth that he so carefully protruded. The worst part of it was that Albus knew what he was doing to her. The man seemed to know pretty damn well that she would want to just lean into his embrace until the evening came…maybe longer.
Minerva pressed her head to his chest and let it stay there for a great many minutes. Her mind was quite blank, not working profusely as it usually did. All she could see was darkness, a truly beautiful and senseless state. But then a thought popped into her head; it was her break. She lifted her head and looked at her man. "It's lunchtime…I promised Maddy I'd come and take her with me."
A smile crept on the man's face. He understood; Albus always understood. "Well then," he stepped away from Minerva, "we ought to get a move on. We don't have that long."
The woman blinked. He wasn't exactly correct in saying that. She had all the time in the world…her preparation hour was directly following lunch. Apparently Albus hadn't noticed that quite yet. Oh well, she wouldn't bring it to his attention quite then.
Albus followed as Minerva led the way to her quarters. Besides the fact that he enjoyed using the phrase 'ladies first' he also had a very real reason to follow her. He smiled to himself. As silly as it sounded, he had always found a fascination in how she walked; it was seductive without her even attempting it. With her head held high (she had always been very self-confident) Minerva took the most graceful of strides.
He blinked as a very real memory processed through his brain. It was like lightening igniting with a tree inside a forest, only to set the entirety of the tree population on fire; infectious, real, penetrating.
It was morning; the morning after, to put a finer point on it. They each had woken up late, which was extremely unusual for either of them; Minerva and Albus agreed to blame the change in sleeping habits on their comfort beside each other as they slept. Quite matter-of-factly, Albus had his arms around the woman the entire night and he had been her pillow; they slept the way two lovers ought to have, and that was closely.
When they did wake up, however, they were very much running late. Minerva's train for Platform 9 ¾ was to leave in an hour and Albus certainly needed to make a farewell appearance to the graduates. Despite their need to hurry, neither of them really did. The woman collected her discarded clothes almost at a turtle's pace and he had done nothing but watch for a very long time.
She walked over towards the bed, all of her clothes in her hand, and looked at the man with almost tearful eyes. He knew what she wanted; he had always been very talented at reading her mind. Albus put his arm around her and pulled her naked body towards him. Minerva wrapped her arms around him. "I don't want to leave," she whispered softly into his ear.
He did not doubt her words, not for a second. Minerva had so much with him, he knew, and so little at home. His knowledge of her family was limited, she preferred not to talk about them a majority of the time, but what he did know did not speak the best of their personalities. They were aristocratic, political fiends, and prejudiced. According to Minerva, they were even in support of Grindewald who had just begun his rise to power at the end of her sixth year. No, Minerva had no home in a household that was so much unlike her; if she had one, it would certainly be her choice to stay with him.
Albus sighed. "I don't want you to either, but we both knew this day would come. Besides, we'll see each other over the summer, this isn't goodbye." It was true; they had started their relationship, knowing it would be ending to a point at the end of the year. Neither one of them had really intended for it to be as carried away as it did; Albus never predicted making love to Minerva. They were attracted to one another at the beginning, in the end, they fell in love with the other. Albus was not intending on ending what was happening between them as the separation of summer crossed their lives, either. The woman didn't know it yet, but there was a ring meant for her sitting in his desk.
"Why does it feel like it, then?" she asked slowly. Minerva had always been deep; she thought about things a wee bit too much. At the time, he thought she just spent too much time contemplating what their goodbye could be at the end of the school year…
"Because you've thought too much again, my dear," he chuckled. He blinked for a manner of seconds when there was no response. Minerva usually came back with a retort when he said things like that, apparently not that day. She was in too much of a thoughtful state. Albus sighed and looked at her closely. "We ought to be getting dressed; there are places to go, Min."
She nodded her head slowly and began dressing. He watched her for several seconds, slightly mesmerized by the woman. She still didn't hurry, just moved at her own sad pace. Minerva quite obviously wanted to be with him as long as she possibly could; besides that, she knew quite well that he was watching her.
Once an ample amount of time had passed, he too collected his clothing and began dressing. In a manner of minutes, the both of them were yet again fully clothed and looking at each other sadly, with the tension of separation filling the air. Minerva was the first one to turn her head towards the door, shortly followed by Albus. Neither one of them actually stepped in the direction of it, but they looked.
Simultaneously, they sighed and turned back towards the other. Albus let out his hand; Minerva grasped it tightly. He walked her to the door, but didn't grasp the knob. Instead, he put his arms around her waist and allowed her to lean against the wall with practiced ease. Albus kissed her then. It wasn't any different than the other kisses he had given her, besides the fact that they knew it would be last for a very long time. There was an extra give and take that hadn't been present before in this one kiss; he gave comfort and she took it.
"Goodbye," she whispered softly.
Albus shook his head. It wasn't goodbye; they'd have many more times together. "I thought we decided this wasn't goodbye." He brought his hands and ran them through her long hair.
He could see her want to say something else to him, something to make him see things her way, but maybe for his sake she didn't. After all, Albus was certainly right; many more memories were to come. Minerva's mind was just insecure when it came to things like leaving her love. "Okay then," she sighed, "I'll be seeing you."
The man nodded his head. "It won't be long."
After that, she left. Minerva walked down the corridor with that same walk she always had; confident, ambitious, seductive. Albus didn't shut the door until her footsteps couldn't be heard anymore. He didn't know it then, but it would be ten years before he heard from or saw her again.
Albus wouldn't admit it to anyone except Minerva, but he regretted never telling her that he loved her that morning; it just seemed so implied for him to say it, so clichéd. The fact that he had made love to her the evening before, he had thought, would be enough. Besides that, he anticipated other times where he could tell her…those moments never did come.
What he also regretted was what he had told her; it was certainly goodbye. He had been wrong in his life before, but that was the first time that he felt pained for it; God, it was meant to be goodbye the entire time. The flirting, the dancing, the kissing…the love, it had all been a preparation for leaving. Their relationship back then was never meant to last because the circumstances simply didn't fit the picture; she was a student, he was a teacher…the combination was not a fine mix in society's eye. It had been a doomed relationship, meant to end, destined for destruction.
The man continued on his march behind Minerva for a manner of seconds, but then thought better of himself. He began walking next to the woman. She glanced at him with a smile playing at her lips. She was simply taunting him; he remembered that she enjoyed doing such a thing.
He put a hand to hers. The woman continued to stare at him, even as they walked with a fascination. She acted as if she never had her hand held before. Albus raised a questioning eyebrow. Of all of things for her to act strangely about, a pair of laced hands should have been the last. "Is there something wrong?" he asked gently.
Minerva shook her head slowly. "It's been a long time since you've held my hand, Albus."
He thought about her statement, taking it into consideration. It wasn't simply a long time; it was a long, long time. He had missed it. Albus nodded his head. "Do you still enjoy that sort of thing?"
"Of course I do." Then there was silence. It lasted only a few seconds. Minerva added on to her thoughts. "We can't be like this when we pick up Madelyn."
"Why not?" he questioned. There was nothing else to say. Why wouldn't Minerva want her daughter to be aware that they had started a new relationship? He blinked. There was no logical reason that he could think of; Madelyn was obviously crazy about him. Besides that, he was quite sure she wanted her mother to be happy.
"I think," she said softly, "we ought to wait a week or so to make sure this will," she paused only to add a dynamic punch to her words, "work out."
He glanced at Minerva when she finished her words. Obviously there was some discomfort when it came to their relationship. He could see it in her eyes which had so suddenly stopped looking at him. It was very visible, too, in her words; the very voice in which she said it in, sent an insecure wave down his throat and to his stomach. Minerva's fear of failure was very well spoken.
Albus didn't say anything back to her statement; there was nothing to say. He felt the way she did to a point. In the deepest compartment of his heart, he knew there was a fear of his own regarding the possibility of a malfunction in their new affair. It would not have been present except for the heartbreaking revelations that he had concluded over the years and most recently, in the past week.
They hadn't been meant to last a decade before, so why exactly would it work then? They didn't love each other anymore than in the past, there was not that extra push to thrust them into blissfulness, so why would it be a success? Albus didn't necessarily have an answer, he was simply confident in his choice, as he had always been. He believed love was enough.
There was silence for the rest of their walk up to get Maddy. Albus glanced at the woman every now and then, but there wasn't any eye contact. The both of them were lost in their thoughts, contemplating the possibility of failure.
When they reached the door, Minerva stopped Albus before turning the knob by bringing her hand to his chest and looking at him with big green eyes. "Are you angry with me?"
He stared at her for a very long time. The answer was certainly no, but he was able to appreciate something in her eyes in those few moments. They were sorry, her green eyes. Each perfectly round, green circle told him how very much she wanted his approval and forgiveness if indeed she had upset him.
A smile crossed his face. Oh, how he cherished this woman and her needs. "I have no reason to be. You were right to say what you said."
Ever so slightly, a smile of her own crossed the woman's face. "Alright then," she whispered, "I'll go and get Maddy. Would you like to come in?"
He nodded his head. It was true he had been there the evening before, but he hadn't taken the time to look at what she had done with the room. Truth be told, he was curious to see what she had done with the thousands of boxes left from their move. Albus was also ever so slightly interested in seeing where she put that record player which had been dropped on him only a week ago.
When they entered, he was very amused to see that it was out in the open space of her quarters for everyone to see. She had done it for him, he knew. Many of their memories included a record player, which coincidentally was one of the only muggle objects that were used by him.
He did remember quite well several of their evenings just dancing to music up close away from prying eyes. She had such a light way of being on her feet when she danced, it was wonderful. He felt as if he were holding a feather when he pulled her here and there across the floor. What had been the best part of those evenings though, was when they finished and they simply were. Those moments weren't often, but they seemed to only evolve when that soft music played.
For some reason, Albus was drawn to Minerva's player. He walked over to it, which already had its own record at the top of it. The man glanced around the room, realizing that Minerva had gone to fetch her daughter, and then wound up the box-like structure. Immediately the music began to play. He knew the song before the words even started. The soft thump of the drum, overplay of the saxophone, gentle backdrop of the string instruments could only mean one song.
He took in a deep breath as the words began to play slowly.
Never thought that you would be, standing here so close to me. There's so much I feel that I should say, but words can wait until some other day. Kiss me once and kiss me twice and kiss me once again, it's been a long, long time.
Minerva entered the room, followed by Maddy. For a matter of seconds, the two of them looked at each other in remembrance. Slowly, the woman walked over towards him and put her hand on the needle as if she were going to turn off the music. Albus watched her do so, not saying a single word.
Haven't felt like this my dear since can't remember when, it's been a long, long time.
Then the woman glanced up at Albus with an almost sad expression on her face. She remembered their times together; she didn't want the music off anymore than he did. Naturally, the song then proceeded until its end.
You'll never know how many dreams I dream about you, or just how empty they all seem without you. So kiss me once and kiss me twice and kiss me once again. It's been a long, long time.
Once it was over, Minerva immediately pulled the needle away from the record, took a glance at Albus, and walked over to her daughter where they started on their way to the door. He followed behind them as a deep silence filled the air of the woman's quarters. The man could only imagine how rarely it was as quiet as it was in that room. It must be a rare thing, considering there was a nine year-old living there.
The threesome entered the corridor. Albus caught up to the two ladies and walked on the other side of Madelyn. He didn't realize it at first, but the child's eyes were staring at him curiously. The greens of her eyes were never hidden from a blink, even; Miss Maddy's attention was wholly on him.
The man looked back at her, wondering to himself. Could Madelyn know already? No, she couldn't possibly know. Maddy was curious, he knew, but she wasn't presumptuous enough to believe that he and her mother were involved. Up until that point, the two of them had been more apt to fight than fall in love, at least in Madelyn's view.
He looked down at the child and whispered softly, "Do I have something large and obvious on my face?"
Maddy smiled and shook her head slowly. "How old are you?"
Minerva's head snapped in the direction of Maddy and looked at her with that dreaded 'don't ask things like that' expression, very popular with mothers. Albus smiled. Between the two of them he would have great fun one day. He looked back at Maddy. "Why don't you try to guess it?"
Madelyn glanced up at her mother who was still looking at her with the mother's look and then back at Albus. The child shrugged. "I don't know."
He looked between the two of them. Minerva looked surprised and angry, Maddy was anxious and curious. His reply was certainly something he ought not to have said, but it just seemed to fall out of his mouth as if he had done it for years. "Ignore your mother and take a guess."
"Um…is it high or low?" she asked slowly.
Albus smiled. "You only get one give-me, are you sure you want to use it on a question like that?" He was playful to the child, how else could he be? She was the daughter of the woman he had been in love with for years; what was a relationship without a little bit of good natured humor?
Maddy smiled a cute, but uneven smile. "No, I don't. I can wait…" the child rolled her eyes in thought, "Are you eighty?"
He felt like laughing out loud. He had been eighty about twenty years before; he would have thought that the lines on his face would give that away pretty clearly. Albus glanced at Minerva whose interest had been in her daughter. A smile played at her lips too along with eyes which had started to dance. "I'm a little bit older than that…" he said gently.
The nine year-old looked up at her mother. "Help me, mum."
Minerva shook her head. "You're on your own, Little Miss."
She frowned and then looked back at Albus. "I want to use my give-me now."
Albus nodded. "Alright."
"How much older than my mum are you?"
The man looked up from the child and then towards Minerva whose eyes had to have gone to the size of her palm. He didn't know Maddy as well as her mother, but he certainly saw the connection that was being made in the child's head. Maybe she had realized what was happening…
He cleared his throat a few times and then looked at Maddy. "About seventy years."
The child frowned and glanced up on either direction of the adults surrounding her. "So that makes you ninety-seven?"
"Ninety-nine," Albus said softly. "I turn the big one hundred in January." He looked between the two girls, one of which extremely curious, the other highly uncomfortable. The man decided it would be best to steer the conversation elsewhere. "Speaking of birthdays, your mother's birthday, I believe, is next month. Are you going to get her anything special?"
Maddy looked at her mother for a few seconds. "I don't know. I usually make something for her, but I don't have anything here to make her something."
A smile crossed the man's face. "You and I will have to go out and buy some supplies then. We can't have you neglecting your mother on her birthday."
Madelyn shook her head slowly, but didn't say anything. What she did do, however, surprised him. He truly hadn't seen it coming, that simple gesture that she used. It warmed him up ever so slightly. The child reached out and clasped his hand with her own. On the other end of the girl, her right hand was clinging to her mother.
Albus grinned softly down to Maddy and then looked at Minerva whose eyes were completely on the two of them. A smile fell on her lips. He could only imagine what was going through her mind, but he could imagine the relief she felt to know how Maddy seemed to approve.
It was not long before they came to the Great Hall and entered. Many of the students, by then, had already left to socialize. What students were there, however, seemed to take note at the threesome that entered the dining room. After all, it must have been a strange sight. To their left was their new Transfiguration Professor, in the middle was a nine year-old red headed girl who they knew to be her daughter, and to the right was their also red headed Headmaster; all of them were linked together by the child's hands. It was a strange sight indeed.
Albus made note of the looks they received. He didn't really care at that point, though. He would have gladly taken the odd looks a decade before, it was no different then. The three of them went to sit in the front at the staff table. The man sat next to Minerva and she sat next to her daughter.
There weren't words right away; it was reasonably quiet between the three of them. Their food appeared before them well before there were words. The man made note of the way Minerva bit her lip when she saw the sandwich that had appeared before her daughter. She looked at Madelyn. "I didn't tell the house elves yet, dear. I suppose I had better do that."
A frown fell on the child's face. "I'm hungry."
The woman nodded. "I'll go down and get you something else. You can stay here with Albus."
Albus looked at the two of them and then just one as Minerva left without saying anything to him. To say the least he was confused. He stared at Madelyn. "Mind filling me in on what's happening?"
"I'm allergicked to tomatoes," she said gently. "I get really sick if I have them and there are tomatoes in my sandwich, so Mum went down to get me something else without them."
The man stared at Maddy and then glanced down at his own sandwich. It was odd, he thought; he hadn't met too many people with the same problem that he had. "Do you want mine? I'm allergic to them too…they didn't put any in my sandwich."
Madelyn looked at Albus, a bit perplexed; seemingly as puzzled as Albus felt. "That's alright…I can wait for her to get back."
Albus shook his head and looked at the child closely. He hadn't had too many opportunities to really look at Madelyn, but this time he had the chance which he took. She had her mother's coloring, sensational eyes, and lengthy body. Everything else couldn't possibly be compared with Minerva. Her face looked nothing like her mother. The nose, lips, even structure were easily contrasted with the woman.
He blinked. A thought inside of his mind that was way deep down knew something, but he couldn't quite grasp it. A concept, words, phrases were trying to push themselves into his selectively permeable brain cells, but could do no such thing. He had felt that way many times before; he always seemed to find the answer in the most drastic of situations. Albus shrugged it off and turned back to Maddy.
"Have you given any thought to your mother's birthday present? It's on the fifth, you know."
Madelyn shook her head. "Mum doesn't really like me spending money on her. She says it's a waste."
He nodded. He could see Minerva saying that; she wasn't at all the type that liked gifts and trinkets. She liked the little things, always had. "Well what is it that you would like to do for her? You've got to do something."
The child shrugged. "I normally make a card and we go out for ice cream. Last year, though, we couldn't do that. Mum had to work."
Albus frowned. He knew quite well that Minerva hadn't had much time with her daughter in the past, but one would think a birthday could be an exception. "Well I'll make sure and let you and her go out this year. I'm not as horrible as her last employer."
Maddy reached out and took a drink from her cup. Once she was finished she looked at Albus from behind the container; all he could see were her eyes. "You're not horrible at all. Mum doesn't think so either. She woke me up last night playing that song that you listened to in our room. You danced with her to it, didn't you?"
He stared at her in shock. Lord knows what silly expression had to have been on his face when Minerva came only seconds after her daughter uttered the words. His mouth had to have been wide open, eyes unblinking, and brow bent quizzically.
Minerva placed a sandwich infront of Madelyn who looked up and thanked her. Once she had done that, she turned to Albus who still had a puzzling facial expression. The woman stared bewilderingly back at him. "Albus?" she asked softly.
The man blinked a few times and then shook his head slowly. His gaze went up to Minerva's. "Yes?"
"Is there something wrong?"
He cleared his throat gently. He didn't know what he should reply…after all, the conversation was obviously to be between him and Madelyn, otherwise it would have come up earlier. He shook his head again. "No, nothing's wrong."
The woman glanced down at her daughter. She knew something had happened, the entire atmosphere had certainly changed since she left; things were quieter. The happy, laughter filled air had suddenly gone empty. The blame could only be put on the child; the curious, perhaps overly expressive girl.
As it seemed, however, Minerva did nothing but sit down between the two people again.
There was very little talk as the meal proceeded, hardly any at all. It was almost as if someone had died, it was such a blatant silence. Albus could really only blame it on himself, he could have made many different conversations. He was wholly entertained, however, with his thoughts on how Maddy knew about their dancing. Surely Minerva hadn't told her about it; what was the point of not holding hands if she had? Then what on Earth could have promoted the child wondering if they had danced to it?
He shook his head to himself. It didn't make sense at all.
It was long after the last classes of the day had finished, the sun had begun to set. Albus stared out the window towards the bright colors of the sunset. The yellow, pink, purple, and orange blended so perfectly he couldn't help but gaze at the wonder. It was beautiful, absolutely entrancing.
He was so enticed by the lights that he didn't hear the door open, nor even so much as the footsteps that crept to the top of his observatory where he stood. It was only when a hand came across his shoulder that he knew of any other presence in the room. He knew who it was though, he could tell from the second her slim fingers clutched him softly. Albus put his hand on hers.
"What are you doing?" she whispered in the otherwise silent room.
It took him a second to consider his response; in truth, he really wasn't doing anything but staring and that did not make for a droll conversation at all. "Collecting my otherwise scattered thoughts," he said numbly.
Minerva walked around infront of him so that he would be staring at her. She looked at him that same way she always had with those exact same green eyes; caring. "We'll just have to put your scattered thoughts in order then." A slow but mischievous smile crossed the woman's face. "What's on your mind?"
The man considered telling her about Maddy, but thought better of it. Minerva wouldn't take too kindly to her daughter obviously stepping out of line; perhaps that was the reason why Madelyn waited so long to ask. Instead he decided it would be best to dance around the afternoon's happenings. "Did you really listen to that song after you got back last night?"
She blinked, a confused look falling on her face. "Song?"
He reached out and pulled her hands into his own. "It's Been a Long, Long Time?"
The woman's mouth opened and closed for a few seconds as if she didn't dare reply. Finally she decided on a response that she certainly took her time in mouthing. "Did Maddy tell you that?"
Albus nodded. "She said you woke her up playing it."
Minerva bowed her head.
A smile came over the man's mouth. His love acted as if it were a bad thing to be taking such a careful stroll down memory lane. She seemed to think that it made her…weak? He knew the truth though, Minerva was curious. The woman just wanted to see what little spark of a memory there was left; obviously there was far more than a spark. "It's an awfully nostalgic song, isn't it?" he said gently.
The woman looked up at him again. "I suppose so. Rather fitting to us, I think."
He certainly knew the answer to what he was about to ask, but he wanted to see Minerva's take on it. "In what way fitting?" he asked even softer than before.
She blinked a long blink, her lengthy eyelashes becoming visible. "All of it," she shrugged. "The chorus, the words, all of it."
Albus let go of the woman's hand and put it around her thin waist. He stared at her for a few seconds, admiring her for the person she was. Then he asked something of her he had not yet asked. "Care to dance?"
"To what?" she whispered, "There's no music."
He smiled and pulled out his wand. The wooden stick was pointed to the bottom of the stairs of his office where a very carefully designed bookshelf seemed to play music. It was quite helpful; he had been informed by the previous Headmaster. When no one was available he could listen to compositions and not worry about comments from anyone but the portraits of the old headmasters and headmistresses.
Albus looked back at Minerva who looked as if she were about to cry. This reaction was not one he had been expecting. He had foreseen a happy expression, one in reminiscence of better days; not tears. He frowned as the melody began playing in the background. "What's wrong, Min?"
She shook her head slowly. "I love you so much," she whispered. "I don't want to hurt you."
It was a strange comment, probably brought on by the memories of their horrid past. She was haunted by the thought of things going wrong, he knew that for certain. Minerva wanted a happy ending; Albus would do his best to give her the reassurance that it would be just that. The man lifted up Minerva's head and stared at her with complete control. "You won't hurt me. I only hurt when we're apart."
Then Albus pulled her closer so he could take her back to a wonderful memory that had played at his mind for a very long time. He allowed her to lean her head on his chest as they moved about. This had two different flaws which, at the time, he had found ever so slightly irrelevant: he could not hear her whisper along with the words and he couldn't see her eyes…her nearly tear ridden eyes.
The words started to play softly through the quiet air. Never thought that you would be, standing here so close to me. There's so much I feel that I should say…
kind of a downer, isn't it:'( I started getting a little teary at the end of this chap. I dunno, maybe I'm just too attached to the characters.
anyhow…if you've reached this point, I congratulate you. God, you have stamina! I, myself, don't ever read 13 page long chapters unless I am MAJORLY into the story. :) just knowing I have people reading this makes me happy. hip-hip-hoooooray!
uh…k. thank you for the support. I luv u all!
—minni