I'll Be Here

"What?"

Roy stared at the officer numbly from the door of his father's mansion, holding his baby sister's hand tightly. She was looking around inquisitively, not paying any attention to the man who had shown up at the door. Roy's eyes were sunken and ringed with black, his gaze dead and unfeeling, his hair was a mess as if he hadn't combed it in weeks, and his back was hunched, the posture of a boy defeated by every force of the world imaginable, and still taking the beating.

The man at the door had special importance to him, but at the moment his hurt mind could not register any more than that the man had a moustache. There was something familiar about him, sure, but Roy didn't care at the moment, hadn't cared for a long time. Then he saw her.

"Riza," he said, without feeling, dead. His emotionless, hopeless tone cut her to the bone and she shivered. The boy that she had known so well for all these years was now only a shadow of his former self, a shadow that had become larger and consumed him since that fateful day in Central Park. It was supposed to have been a family vacation, a relaxation time, bonding time for father and son, but what it had turned out to be was too horrible for her comprehension.

And apparently too horrible for his as well.

"What do you want?" he intoned. His tired mind then registered that this was General Hawkeye at the door, and that Generals Hughes and Havoc were one step behind him. Jean, General Havoc's son, gave him a scathing look, as if angry with him. Roy didn't give Jean's expression more than a millisecond's pause, then turned to examine Maes. Maes was the picture of sorrow and pity, and Roy turned to look at General Hawkeye, pain and anger rising in his throat.

"What the hell do you want?"

The General paused for a moment and looked Roy up and down, as if sizing up how much damage the news would do him, then inhaled deeply.

"Your father is dead, Roy. Fuhrer Leroy Mustang did not survive the extent of his wounds in the infirmary."

Roy's throat lumped. "And... and the Brigadier General that was with him?"

"Brigadier General Ilia Durandal did not survive the blast either."

Only between the eight of them, one of which was oblivious to the conversation, little Terra, did this last statement have any real significance. To anyone else in the military, it would not matter so much.

"Your mother is gone as well, Roy, I'm sorry."

He bowed his head and clenched his fists. "You're... sorry? Do you really think that 'I'm sorry' cuts it?"

None of the Generals said anything in response.

"I'm sorry, that's it? My parents are... they're dead! DEAD! They're not coming back. Why didn't you just leave me there, why didn't you just leave me there to die with them!" he cried, eyes blazing. Jean's teeth clenched, he stepped forward, and his arm lashed out, knocking Roy back into the house and onto his back. Blood trickled from the corner of his mouth and he leaped back up, lunging at Jean.

Jean hit him again in the cheek and locked Roy's arms by grabbing his elbows, standing a head taller than Roy. "Is that what you want? To die like a coward? And here I thought you were brave," he spat, face contorted in his anger. Roy snarled at him and turned, slamming Jean against the wall. "What would you know? You still have your father, I have nothing! Shut up! Don't talk about what you don't know!"

"So you want to die, Mustang? Your dad was a brave man, he died protecting you, your mom too, and this is how you repay them? By wishing you were dead?" He slammed Roy against the wall and Roy levered himself against the wall, rearing his legs and kicking Jean in the chest. "SHUT UP!"

"You live, Mustang, for them at least! Do you want their lives wasted? If you die, then they died for nothing!"

His words hit home and Roy staggered against the wall, catching his breath. Terra ran up to him tears in her eyes. "Brother! Brother!" she turned on Jean, and hugged Roy's leg. "Don't hurt Brother!"

Jean's gaze softened. "You see? She needs you now. She doesn't have any parents; you need to be Mommy and Daddy now."

Roy threw him a hateful look. "Just get away from me, Jean."

"I'm still your friend Roy, I don't want you to die."

"I said get away!" he screamed, shoving him out the door and slamming it in his face. He threw himself onto the couch and burrowed his face into the armrest. "Brother?" Terra pulled at his fingers gently and clumsily. "Where's Mama and Papa? I want Mama." Roy turned his face a bit and looked at her little face. She had no idea what had happened, could not understand the magnitude of it and probably never would. "Did you see the news, Terra?"

"It said there was a biiig boom. Is that bad?"

"Yes, Terra, it's bad."

"Why?"

"It... Mom and Dad... Mama and Papa went into it and didn't come back, Terra. It was a big mean boom and it didn't let them back out."

"But why? Mama will come back, won't she? She'll bring Papa back, won't she?"

"No, she won't. She's trapped, and can't come out," he said, struggling to get her to understand. His eyes stared at the radio next to the couch as they announced the choosing of the new Fuhrer.

" 'King Bradley...' " he muttered sitting upright, a pillow clutched in his hands. He felt... violated, like this new Fuhrer didn't deserve the position. He knew Bradley, a smooth talking, cheerful-esque phoney who rose in the ranks because of vicious swordplay and all the right words in all the right places, though he had never gained a promotion by his father's word, just those of higher ranking officers.

And now he was elected Fuhrer. Roy clenched his teeth and put his face in his hands, and Terra clambered up onto the couch, trying to pull his hands away from his face. "It'll be okay, Big Brother. We'll be okay, won't we?" Roy sniffed and pulled her closer to him. "You'll be okay, Terra. I don't know about me though."

"Why not?"

"Big Brother got hurt by the big boom too, just in a different way. Now they've already elected someone to take Dad's place in office. I know they had something to do with this; they had to!"

"What are you gonna do?"

"Dad must have left a will, must have left everything to me. This whole mansion Terra, the whole family fortune, belongs to me now. And I'll take care of you, okay?" She nodded. "And when I'm old enough, I'll join the military, and I'll work up through the ranks till I'm Fuhrer, just like Dad is supposed to be."

"What about me?"

"I'll send you to school, I'll even teach you myself. But when I get into the military, you might be all alone for a while, or you could go to Mr.Hughes's house. Would you like that?"

She nodded enthusiastically. She had been to the Hughes's house on many occasions since their mother had been a childhood friend of Mrs.Hughes, and their father a friend of Mr.Hughes.

That night, Roy decided it was time to head out to Eastern Headquarters. He had calledthe Hughes' and told them what he was doing, and to pick up Terra in the morning, then with great uncertainty, called the Havoc household.

The phone rang twice and a sleepy Jean answered. "Hallo? God, do you know what time it is?"

"Jean, it's Roy." Jean was silent on the other side and Roy was afraid that he would refuse to talk and hang up. "Still alive, then? You gave me one hell of a beating, you know."

"Sorry."

"The bruise will go away, nothing to worry abou-"

"Sorry for everything, Jean."

"... it's alright. Maes and I... you know... we were worried. Maes talked to you already, but the only thing I could think of was beating the hell out of you."

"Thanks. For the beating, I deserved it."

"I better savor the moment, I don't think I'll ever hear that again."

Roy laughed. "Probably not. Listen... I'm leaving."

"Leaving? Where? What about your sister?"

"I'm not going far, just to Eastern HQ in the morning. I'm going over to the military."

"You know how strongly your Dad opposed you going."

"Yeah, well, he's not here anymore is he?"

Jean said nothing.

"I have to be Fuhrer, Jean! I have to, for him. I know he would have wanted me to."

"Then Maes and I will be a step behind you."

"What?"

"You're going in as a State Alchemist, right? Like your old man? Maes and I, we're no alchemists, but we'll have your back from below."

"Really...?"

"We're making sure you go to the top, Roy."

"Thanks Jean..."

"We'll see you at HQ tomorrow afternoon then, bye."

Jean hung up, leaving Roy to stare in amazement at the phone.

He ran to Terra's room to take one last look at her before he left. He knew he wouldn't be gone forever, but he just couldn't stand the thought of leaving before he said good-bye, whether she was awake or not. He'd come home as often as he could, sure, but there was never the guarantee that he'd come home safe; a painful lesson too late he had learned from his father. He leaned over Terra's bed and stroked her hair gently. She mumbled something about mommy and daddy and her fingers touched Roy's hand, curling around his fingers instinctively. He smiled and bent down, kissed her forehead and as an afterthought placed a toy next to her which she curled around. "I won't be here all the time, but I'll always be here when you need me," he murmured.

"Big Brother's still here."