Author's Note: WHOA, I'm updating again! And it didn't take me a year! Be proud, very proud as you read this chapter. But I need to clarify a few things before you head off on your own into the big wide world of my writing. The next couple of chapters are going to be slightly darker, hence the rating. Just a warning in advance. I don't know how the chapters will work out, because I'm finding it hard to split it up in a way I like, but I'm just saying, most likely the next couple chapters will be heavy. Also, because I know if I don't address it there will be questions on it, the stuff in italics is indeed a flashback to Lori's past, and that's also why the P.O.V. changes to first person. I took the idea that reviewer Caralynne gave me way back when. Lastly, big thanks and cookies go out to my reviewers for my previous chapter! All five of you rock by coming back to read my story and you know who you are! Now, read and enjoy, like always...

"All right, everything is taken care of, as of now. Lex is going to stay in the towers until he gets his strength back or unless there are any pulsations. We've also told you almost all we can about Lyoko and I hope you remember all of it. Also, Cynthia knows all about how the computer works and that really can't be practiced unless it's the real deal, so good luck with that. Otherwise, you have our cell numbers so feel free to call any one of us if anything goes drastically wrong, which I hope it won't." Jeremie finally took a breath after about five minutes of straight talking. Angela thought he looked a bit blue. All four of the teenagers were watching him with an eyebrow raised and an amused expression on their face.

Yumi noticed that Jeremie was lecturing again and put a hand gently on his shoulder. "Jeremie, I think they've got it."

Jeremie nodded quickly and swallowed. "Right, right. Well if that's all then, lets go outside. I do believe that its time you kids went back to school."

As they got outside, the sky was already dusky and streaks of pink and orange were running through it, combining together in some places to make a peachy color. It was one of these moments that the sky made Angela want to become a painter. She walked across the bridge with everyone else, not really wanting to go back but knowing she had to. The silence was almost too much to bear.

"So…" Jeremie said as soon as they reached the end of the bridge. "We'll most definitely keep in touch. Any questions, just call any of us." His crew behind him nodded in agreement. Cynthia nodded to them as well.

Parting greetings were exchanged and the teenagers split from the older group, walking back toward the school. Yumi watched them go, wondering what that motley crew would be able to accomplish in Xana and Lyoko terms. Then she walked with the rest of her original gang. Ulrich slowed to walk beside her.

"You think they can handle it?" Yumi asked Ulrich as soon as their strides matched.

Ulrich sighed and squinted up at the glowing sky. "They had better handle it. And we better all wish that they can."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was the middle of the night and Lori couldn't sleep. She rolled over onto her side and faced the white, empty wall, and squeezed her eyes shut. But all she saw swimming around in the back of her eyelids were the monsters of Lyoko, the landscape of Lyoko, her friends in Lyoko, the instructions of Lyoko…Lyoko, Lyoko, Lyoko…

She shook her head and opened her eyes again. She would never fall asleep at this rate. Everything that had happened to her was still too fresh. It would always be too fresh. Her life had just taken an unexplained and unprecedented twist and now she was a "Lyoko warrior" in this virtual world that she would have denied existed just a couple days ago. And even now, she had trouble believing that it existed. And she had just gotten out of that same virtual world hours ago.

She turned over again but didn't bother closing her eyes this time. She could see Angela's sleeping form as a bulk of black, outlined in the faint light coming in from the cracks in the closed blinds of their dorm window. Is she asleep already? Does she have no trouble in accepting everything? From what she knew about Angela so far, Lori wouldn't have denied that, either. No offense to Angela or anything, but Lori's new friend was still an enigma to her and a bit of an eccentric one at that.

Lori turned finally to be flat on her back, looking up at the plain ceiling. Now her brain had gone off on another thought tangent. When was it just going to go blank and let her sleep? But as soon as she tried that, Lyoko filled her mind again. Ugggggh…

Suddenly, Lori knew what she needed. She needed to talk. This achy weight on her heart wasn't only from all this crazy stuff that had been happening lately. It was from her past. And then she realized that the achy weight had always been there, secretly and softly pressing and pushing. It had never left her since it happened. It had only lessened in importance and in pressure, waiting for the time to come back again, stronger than before. What will happen if I never tell anyone? She wondered about this for a moment. The only conclusion she could come up with was that she would always have the achy feeling with her. As long as she didn't tell anyone, she would have that tug at her heart until she died. It wasn't a comforting thought at all, and it made her even more restless.

As she grew restless, the weight on her heart grew stronger. She knew that telling it to someone was what she needed, to split the burden. At times like these in the past, she knew it felt really good to just spill your guts. But there was no one she trusted enough yet to tell. Too bad. She had to deal with that. She just needed to tell someone, anyone. She turned around and looked at the bulk of Angela again.

"Angela?" she whispered without planning to. Her voice was a thin silvery whisper, almost too soft to be heard by even herself. Somewhere in her mind, it went, oh well, she didn't respond so obviously she's asleep. Too bad. Let's forget about it. But Lori pushed that part away. No way could Angela could have heard that puny excuse for a whisper. "Angela?" she tried again, stronger this time.

"Yeah?" Lori felt relief practically engulf her as Angela spoke. Lori watched Angela's black bulk become unsettled as she moved around on her bed and finally turned around to face Lori in the dark. Lori couldn't see her roommate's face. But that was fine.

Lori could feel tears welling up. She did her best to hide them. "You can't sleep either?"

Angela sighed loudly. "How can I? Right now in my brain its: Lyoko this and Lyoko that. Also its: what not to do in Lyoko and what to do in Lyoko and what to do only under emergency circumstances in Lyoko. Lyoko, Lyoko, Lyoko…gah…"

Lori couldn't help but smile. "Same with me. Sometimes I wonder, why did it have to be us?"

Angela agreed with an invisible nod. "Exactly. It somehow is always me that gets into these weird messes that no one has ever heard of. And then, especially in times like these, it's really hard to keep it a secret. I mean, a virtual world? The only reason why I would try to keep it a secret is because if I told anyone, I would sound eccentric." Angela seemed to relax after her rant. Lori's smile, meanwhile, had disappeared and the tears were pressing harder against the dam she had made. Weird messes…keep it a secret…really hard…only reason…told anyone… Key words, trigger words, swirled through her head now. She squeezed her eyes shut and she could feel something cool sliding down her left cheek. She reached up to brush it away.

"Lori? Lori, are you okay?"

Lori hurriedly sniffled, trying to make it a quiet one. "Oh, yeah, I'm fine…" Her voice came out tearier than expected. Angela immediately sat up and glanced at where her roommate was across the small dorm room.

"Lori…are you crying?"

Lori didn't respond to the question. It was pretty much already obvious. She busied herself with wiping her wet eyes with the edge of her blanket.

Angela felt sorrow herself at watching her friend fiddle around with her blanket, probably wiping her eyes with it. It tore at Angela's heart if anyone started crying around her. It was especially bad when it happened on the phone. She usually ended up crying too. She could feel her sorrow well up in her and start to make her eyes wet. She swallowed it down and wondered if she should ask the question she wanted to. How would she react? Would she take offense to it? Too late. It was something that had to be asked.

"Do…do you want to talk about?"

Lori breathed out audibly. She had asked the question that Lori had needed. Lori pushed herself up and took a couple of shaky breaths while nodding, not knowing or caring if Angela saw. Angela, who was staring intensely at the spot Lori would be in, caught the couple of nods.

"My past is just…oh…its such a long story…"

"We have time, Lori. Take all the time you need. I'll just listen."

"Okay, thanks…you don't know how much that means to me…"

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I walked out of the hospital and the world seemed to be broken. The top of the trees didn't match up with their trunks, the clouds were slashed in the middle. I held back the tears. The tears would make the world go even more messed up. Not like it wasn't already.

As I unlocked my bike from the rack outside the hospital, I saw a daughter with her mother right beside her walk into the hospital. They were both laughing grandly at some fabulous joke one of them had just probably told. Why are they smiling? There was nothing worth smiling about in this world. This world was dreary and we were going to all die in it one day. So why waste time smiling?

Smiling isn't allowed.

My aura of angst trailed behind me as I biked my way "home". I don't think I looked up during the whole trip back. I knew the route well, too well, but the route brought me no happiness. There was nothing waiting for me back "home". To me, it was already just a house.

I turned into my neighbor and biked past the other neatly trimmed and weeded and taken care of front yards. They flashed past in blurs of color. Blur of taunting color. I tried staring at the bleak, gray, boring concrete. That was the only thing that matched my mood right now. Thinking about how my front yard used to look just like those colorful ones didn't help my spirit. It made it sink lower.

After five minutes I arrived at the house. It was my old "home". The chain-link fence around the front yard was rusty and old and the front yard itself looked even older. Weeds choked the elegant flowers that used to bloom in abundance, the rose bushes looked more like a nightmare, and the one tree in the yard seemed like it couldn't hold its own weight. Guilt and shame washed over me, as it did whenever I entered or passed or left from this house. Whenever I saw the front garden, I had to look away.

It was supposed to be my job to tend to the garden after mom went to the hospital. She had told me once when I went to visit her after school, as I did everyday. "When I get back home, I want the garden to be just as beautiful as I left it. Even more beautiful, in fact. As beautiful as my Lori…" That's what she had said. Her hand had been caressing my cheek and she had been smiling. My mom was the most beautiful person I had ever known.

But look at the garden now. I unhinged the gate and walked through it, wheeling my bike along next to me. It was a jungle, and not in a good way. I tried consoling myself with the usual excuses: I was too busy, I had too much homework, I'll do it tomorrow…but today, the same excuses didn't work. It was useless and I had failed. Mom was not ever coming home to see the garden again. She never would. And even if she did think of checking up on it up in heaven, she would be disappointed. Her garden had turned into an ugly thicket. As ugly as her daughter Lori…

I banished these thoughts from my head quickly as I walked up to the front porch, keeping my bike on its side in one of the patches of thick weeds. If I thought about it, it would mess me up in my intricate operation. I skipped the middle step of the three leading up to the door. That one creaked too much. Then I procured my key from my jeans pocket, only to find the door unlocked. I opened the door an inch. It was enough space for me to slip inside. Plus, if I opened it more, the door would squeak as well. I left the door slightly ajar (no one would notice) and walked into the trashed house that had been my "home". I paused listening for any sounds of life. Then I heard him.

It was my "dad" that I had officially disowned when he came home one day, drunk, and had started to throw things at me. The dad figure was currently snoring away on the couch in the living room with the TV on. Probably sleeping off alcohol. I crept up the stairs to my room. I didn't want to be around when he woke up with another hangover. Sometimes I wished that his liver would fail and he would just die already. He deserved to. I mean, its not like he ever thought of helping with the garden.

I entered my room, the cleanest room the in the whole house, and made straight for my phone. I pressed the redial button and put it up to my ear. The familiar voice I had been hoping for answered. "Hello?"

"Alice? It's me."

"Hey, Lori. What's up? And why are you whispering?"

"Why do you think I'm whispering?"

"Oh, that."

"Listen, I need to come over again. Do you think your parents will let me?"

"They always let you, Lori. What time are you coming over?"

"How about now."