Oh goodness. I know I'm a week late…but this chapter ought to satisfy all of you. I commend those of you who have tried to predict what would happen. You're awesome people.
This chapter…well, it speaks for its name. There are probably two chapters after this…depending on if I want to do an epilogue or not. I probably will though, don't worry. I can't promise two weeks, stupid volleyball is kicking my butt, but as always, I will try my best. I love you all!
Here are your notes…(took me 40 min. to reply to you all!)
Alesia G: I was hoping people could see everything through Minerva, as well as Albus in the last chapter. I was dreading the outcome of having it through his P.O.V. but I suppose dreading is a bad habit to get into. :) And yes, this chapter is certainly interesting. I left no ending author's note at the end (like I usually do) simply because my words are irrelevant to the ending. enjoy.
leyaeb: I do love my loyalists! (lol) You're awesome for reading my story so much. I daresay, you spoke a little bit too soon on returning to their old relationship, but I don't want to give too much away. I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as the others.
Lady Loraine: Oh thank you! I do hope it feels real. After all, stories are simply everyday people who are worth being told about (well, usually—lol) I like romance simply because I can connect with people in a way that I wouldn't be able to normally. I can explore feelings and relationships; get to know them. I love this pairing. I can't write a story about them and have it feel fake…that just wouldn't be kind!...or literature for that matter! Looking forward to hearing from you again!
TartanPhoenix: yup yup, he is…was close (bwahaha) to finding out about Madelyn. I don't think you ought to laugh or be ashamed about Maddy finding out first. She simply had better access to things than Albus did. But in any case…here is your next chapter. I love it and I hope you will too.
DumbledoresKitten: Oh man, the bows! I had a moment where a wonderful idea came to me, hence the bows. LOL. I needed a little bit of laughter in that chapter. This one is er…really almost too serious. But that end conversation about the children? I thought that would be a nice little way to cap how everything was going to turn out. You'll understand better what I mean once you've read the end of this chapter. Thank you for being so loyal! I love yah!
Erica Dawn: here is your cat! It has been released. And Albus…well, he did see things, there just wasn't a clear connection like there was in everyone else's mind, yah know? Somewhere deep down, he knew the truth, about Madelyn I mean. And yes…Minerva does have some bad traits, but not everyone is perfect. I do believe that her bad traits are what carry this story on. You'll see them worded out quite clearly in the second to last scene of this chapter. And…leave her for good? Well, we'll see. I won't comment on it quite yet. :) You're wonderful. I really do love reading your reviews. They make me laugh.
Questionablelight: Well thank you, for calling my story original. And no, clichés are not usually my style….I do not believe that one will appear. I hope your guessing got a wee better, cuz it's realization time. Thank you for the grammar thing. You're the only one that gave me a straight answer. I hope to hear from you again!
Mellypoo622: Aww, glad you like Maddy. I've tried really hard to make her likeable…after all, little girls ought to be liked. :) And yes, Albus shall finally know at the end of this chapter…the cat has been released and there is a fight coming on. hint. hint. love lots.
WeirdoMod: Thanks for the help on the grammar thing. Stupid spell check is annoying me. And thank you for reading! I love hearing from people who have been faithfully observing my little story. hope to hear from you again.
girl from Iceland: Of course! If there's a child, there has to be child business going on! Besides, it added some last minute humor to the story. Can't wait to see what you've got to say next!
Silver Sorceress: Yes, I know this is a long story. I believe I am up to page 145. lol. But I hope it's productive and not boring…I try my best! Don't feel sheepish…I lose my spots in stories all the time. But the good thing about me is that I don't update every other day:) Instead it's usually every other week. hehe. Compliments of school and volleyball. And yes, the secret is FINALLY out. enjoy.
Leta McGotor: We'll see what you make of the end of last chapter once you've seen the end of this one. The key phrase of the day is 'never assume'. Remember that. Of course Minerva was going to tell about Madelyn and you have a right to be excited about it, but again…never assume. We'll get the confrontation next chapter. read on, my friend!
Little Morgsi: thanks for the help on the grammar thing. It helps when people inform me on things…you know how the computer is so dumb sometimes and when it's met with my equally passive mind, it creates all sorts of havoc!
Hogwarts Duo: I'm so glad you liked the last chapter! The conversations in the last scenes were vital to the climax of the story. And er…well about the parentage, you'll see what happens at the end of this chapter. I love hearing from you! Please enjoy this chapter. It took much thought and time which I didn't have. :)
Emutet: You among others seem to be getting frustrated at Albus and his er…well, lack of intelligence. lol. hehe. I send you some cookies for almost falling out of your chair. It makes me smile just think of it. (no offense intended) The "awwws" were intended, however. I needed some sweet moments at the end, just to make everything seem alright in the end. I love hearing from you and your reviews are awesome! You always seem to make me smile!
SevyHero: Hey webs. You'll like this chapter…I think you will, that is. You liked the first half a lot more than I did (you made me change my mind on a few things) and helped me decide on the play of the rest of the chappie. I DO hope you like the ending…not that it's a big surprise to you!
esb: I'm glad that you can read and understand the characters so well…that means that I am doing my job well! Your reviews make my world bright and I hope to hear from you again!
Quill of Minerva: As I have said several times, though Albus is smart, he still is first and foremost a man. Men are not always as intelligent as we make them to be…lol. And no, I think it's virtually impossible to hit the man on the head. hehe. He'll know what's going on at the end of this chapter…and so will you! dun dun dun! Yup yup…they are taking their next steps into the relationship. And again, yup yup, you should be worried because of the last words from the last chapter. They were put there for a reason, but I won't give everything away. I just put it there to make sure that you (and everyone else) was predicting what was going to happen.
love yah guys. Now, on with the chapter! Be prepared for the good, bad, and heartbreak.
Chapter Fifteen: The Way We Were
It was gentle, his breathing. The rhythmic sound echoed in her head time after time. She was somehow even able to count the seconds between one exhale and another, down to the last quarter of a second. For some reason, his soft exhalations calmed her nerves, maybe more for the reason that it was predictable rather than because it was simply him—though the fact helped.
Only from across the room would she allow herself to stare at Albus. The guilt, constant, spiteful, and unforgiving, was gnawing at her every thread of sanity. There were no words to explain how horrible she felt. It had only occurred to the woman when she woke up—at 5 a.m.—that she had used Albus…abused would even be a better word.
Minerva had used the man the entire time, though unintentionally. She'd taken him for her own, cried to him, gotten him back in her life when she knew perfectly well that she was doing the wrong thing. She was not available, not to Albus. The man, just like she always knew, would hate her and leave her at the end of the day…once he found out about her abuse. People don't stay around after they find out that they've been played. The Headmaster certainly had been manipulated in such a way that he would have no reason to stay.
A silent tear slid down her cheek, wanting for another hand to wipe it away. But she knew, way deep down, that there would never be anyone to erase her tears again. Albus' days of doing such a thing were over and there certainly was no one else to do it. Instead of dabbing the water from her face, she let it slide all the way down until it dropped from her chin and fell on her bare neck.
She looked down at the drop, which ceased to slide once it hit, and then lower to her hand. There was a piece of parchment in it, being clutched tightly for it was something of extreme importance. It was only a letter, but it held so much more significance than just an everyday note from one person to another. She still blamed the letters for her eternal loneliness. That whole scenario that occurred a decade before was what killed her chances of ever being happy with Albus. It was everyone's fault, she knew. Minerva had gotten past blaming herself completely. She pointed a finger at Albus, who never sought her out, herself for keeping her pregnancy a secret, and her mother for hiding the letters in the first place.
It was her mum who she had it in for, though. If the woman were destined to be lonely for the rest of her life, she needed to find out the ultimate question: why? There was a reason that the woman held her daughter's mail hostage. Did she want Minerva to hate her? Did she simply dislike Albus? Did she want her daughter to be hurt? Was she in so much denial that she couldn't stand for Minerva to ever be happy? What was the answer?
The woman was on a mission to find everything out. Once Albus had gone—said his last loving goodbye—she would be off. Minerva would go to her parent's house and find it all out. She needed to know. If they refused to tell her, she'd have no qualms whatsoever for burning down their house. As far as she was concerned, the lot of her family could burn in hell along with the home. They'd never done anything good for her. What was it that she owed them? There was only one answer, quite fitting really; make them miserable.
It had always bothered Albus that Minerva chose not to talk about her mother and father. There was nothing that she could really tell the man though. All she had were sob stories; times where she was left alone while they went to a party, hours that she was up listening to them shout, a Christmas that they weren't at; those were the sort of things she would have told him about. Minerva didn't want him to hear those sorts of things. He'd think things about her that she simply didn't want him to.
There had been one problem when the McGonagalls had their child. You see, they had never intended on having a quick witted, emotional, living daughter. They'd wanted someone as mechanical as everyone else in their world; someone who laughs at political jokes, wears expensive robes constantly, marries a rich aristocrat. No, they'd never expected they'd get Minerva. And the fact of the matter was that they denied her when they realized that she was not what they wanted.
The woman glanced at the clock by the bed. It read a quarter until seven. It was about time that she woke up Albus.
Minerva walked slowly to him and sat next to his sleeping form. She had the urge to kiss the man, plant her lips on his forehead—say goodbye in her own way. He would never know. Albus would have no recollection at all of her kissing him so gently; he was a man who was in dreamland until the very last second. So she did it. The woman put her lips to his head and then lifted her head away from him.
She stared at him for a fair few more seconds. Minerva would always remember him and her, the way they were. His smile would forever be planted inside her mind. His kiss would be on her lips whenever she wanted them to be, at least in her thoughts. The man's twinkle in his eyes could never leave her memory; it was a thing of magic, when his eyes started shining—it was as if he were the happiest person alive. And his voice, calm, reassuring, and loving…that was what she would miss the most though. Or, to put it into better words, it was what she would be wanting the most in the days—or perhaps years—that came. She'd never hear the words 'I love you' again from him, not unless it was in her head.
One more tear; that's all it was. It dripped silently down her cheek. Her heart though, that's what hurt. It throbbed. There was no other way to explain it. The thing inside her chest that made her love and hate and lie and give…that's what truly, truly hurt. Thump, thump, thump, thump it continued on and on. In those few moments, she was reminded very much of her only other heartbreak she'd ever had.
She sighed. "I love you."
And then she shook him awake gently.
She smiled at him only because he smiled at her, as he wrapped his arms around her by the door. He was happy to be with her and quite sad to be leaving. Minerva was sad to see him go too. She'd be missing him some day…more than she already had, even in the comfort of his arms. It was amazing, the distance she felt between herself and him already. It was true, he had his arms around the woman, but he couldn't have been any farther mentally. Of course, that seemed to be the way it always was.
"I'll see you at dinner then?" he asked gently with that wonderful smile on his face and twinkling inside of his eyes.
"Yes," she whispered back, "I've got to see you this evening."
He kissed her forehead gently. "Don't think you're alone, my dear. I'll be seeing you then."
Minerva nodded her head slowly. "You certainly will."
Then he grazed her lips with his own and went on his way. Minerva watched him walk down to the end of the corridor. His lonely footsteps echoed around the hall, hitting the woman harder and harder with every step. She couldn't shut the door and block out the sound though; there were some things that she simply was unable to walk away from. The footsteps of her lover walking away…that sound was meant to be engraved in her mind until the day she died.
Once the echo had subsided, she shut the door behind her and leaned back on it. Her head rested on the hard wood for an uncountable number of minutes. She went blank, just completely blank. Her thoughts did not focus on anything, not Albus, Madelyn, life, children, nothing…the world was just a large blob of colors that made no sense at all. She was at a loss for thought, just like anyone was prone to be lost for words.
Then a voice came from somewhere in the room. "Who was here, Mum?"
She blinked and looked down at her daughter who currently had wild red hair and bagged eyes. "Albus dropped by for something."
It came by so naturally, for her to say it. It was not quite a lie that she was telling her daughter, but it was very near one. Albus had come by for something but it was not an everyday something. He came by for Minerva. Of course, as it happened, he left with nothing more in his hands than when he arrived.
"Oh," she whispered. "Why did he leave?"
Minerva shrugged. "People do that." She removed herself from the door, approached her daughter, and guided her towards the settee. Once they were both sat down, she sighed again. "He got what he came for." It was more to herself than Madelyn, but the words still came. The child beside her still understood as best she could.
Madelyn nodded her head slowly. "What are we doing today?"
"Well," she sighed, "I'm going to your grandparent's house to talk with your grandmother. You've got to stay here though."
"Why?" she blinked.
The woman blinked back. She knew what the answer was; she just didn't know how to say it. "Because I'm going over to talk about adult things…you'll be bored stiff."
Maddy thought it over for a few seconds and then finally nodded her head. "Alright. I don't really want to go anyway. Remember, they yelled at me the last time that I went over. I don't like Pompom or Grammy very much anymore."
She would have reprimanded her daughter a month before, but not any longer. Maddy had no reason to love (or even like) her grandparents; they'd been as cold to her as they ever had to their own daughter. They would never warm up to anyone, may they be family, friend, or stranger. The McGonagalls were not very accepting people and they certainly did never love. It did neither girl any good to pretend that there was any amount of love from Eva and Desmond McGonagall.
The woman nodded her head slowly. "I'll call a house elf up to watch you. Stay here until I get back."
Albus opened his door, walked inside the room, and fell on his bed. He didn't want to keep his eyes open, not at all. He was tired. The man had only slept around four hours. He and Minerva had been up until all sorts of hours in the night, talking, laughing, and making love. It did him no good to be leaving at such an ungodly hour after that sort of evening. Of course, he was mindful enough to know that it was necessary for him to leave her home at the earliest moment.
There was only one real reason for his early departure, and that was the simple fact of Madelyn. That child was an early riser and it was neither adult's intention for the child to realize that there had been a sleep over. Maddy was not at all knowledgeable about the adult world, but she was smart enough to realize that something was about. The last thing that he wanted was for that little girl to start being curious.
Minerva seemed to feel the same way too. She was kind about having him leave, very lovable, but it was obvious that she felt that she needed him to go. From the moment he opened his eyes she seemed almost worried. There was something in her eyes that just made her look perturbed; maybe it was just that extra glare from the morning sun, maybe it was just the way she stared at him with such big eyes, he knew there was something out of the ordinary about it.
Of course, he had not expected the woman to act normally in the morning. After all, they had just had a very important evening together. It summed up the past weeks, months, and years. Those few hours in darkness were what made everything in the world right again.
A smile crossed his face. He remembered.
Her smile had been wider than he'd ever seen it that night. Oh, he'd seen her laugh before, even grin on occasion, but she was so very different. Her eyes were alive. They danced a glorious dance where the music seemed to never stop. It played on and on, even into the wee hours of the morning, not long before the sun came to greet the world. It was as if the transition were complete; the old Minerva was there to stay.
It confirmed all of his ambitions, the way she acted. She loved him so very much. He loved her more than she could ever fathom. There was only one thing to do…he'd been waiting a decade to do it.
Albus pushed himself up from his bed, and walked towards his bedside bureau. A tiny pull on a little drawer was all it took before he was staring at a ring. It was simple, nothing gaudy or expensive; it was only an engagement band. He'd been holding it for too long to really think about it. The ring had always been meant for Minerva, there had never been anyone that he could have dreamed about marrying. He was only glad that he would be able to present it to her that night. She deserved it.
If it was possible, an even larger smile grew on his face at the thought. Lovely, intelligent, cautious Minerva would finally be engaged to him. If he was not making too much of an assumption, he could also hope to be married to her somewhere in the near future. They'd take care of Madelyn together.
A thought passed through his head for the first time since their conversation in the dark as his mind processed what he had just told himself. Indeed, they would take care of Maddy. There would be no one else though. She didn't want any more children.
His smile dropped from his face.
That conversation had been very much unlike the Minerva he had once known. She'd always like children, loved them even. He could not quite fathom why she didn't want another one. While it was true that she made valid points for her reason, it did not completely satisfy him. Yes, she was busy, but she could take time off. The woman could help him with things in the school while she was taking care of their hypothetical child. Just because she would not be working does not necessarily mean that she would be doing nothing.
That, however, was not the reason for his insecurity about Minerva's reply. What bothered him was the fact that she didn't want a child with him. She didn't seem to understand that he wanted his own child, one where he could start and end with. He wanted to fly brooms, eat sweets, and (so help him) get his hair done by his own child. Albus had the need to watch a life form, see his little girl or boy turn into an adult. He wanted to see him or her walk and talk and crawl for the first time. How could Minerva not see that?
She had been selfish in the past years, keeping Madelyn to herself. She didn't seem to realize it, but she had been downright egotistical by having a daughter to call her own, and sharing her with no one. Though Minerva claims to not have been there for many of the child's firsts (which he believed) he still was able to see that the woman always had someone to come home to. She had a little girl that would always love her and call her "mum".
Albus would never have that. If he was lucky enough to get Minerva as his wife, even Madelyn as his daughter, he could never have it all. It stopped at Maddy for the woman.
The man sat down on his bed with a blank stare. His heart had gone from the top of a mountain to plummeting towards the bottom. It was falling, being flattened more and more as the wind rushed past it. He could not have all that he wanted. It hit him so quickly, spitefully.
There would always be Minerva. He was certain that he needed her and that she was the one. But never could there be the family that he had always pictured. He was happy with Madelyn, he loved the child, but he could not help but want more. If nothing else, he had missed out on her childhood; he'd never get it back to witness. He could look at millions of pictures, but he'd never be able to recall what Maddy sounded like when she first began talking, or how often she crawled into bed with her parents because she was afraid of the dark. No, he'd never get any of those memories, no matter how hard he tried.
He swallowed slowly. Maybe the subject just needed some pushing. Once Minerva saw his side, his view, she would certainly feel the same as he did. She wanted him to have the same experiences that she did, to be happy and know what it was like to love and be loved by a child.
After all, her love for her little girl was what, in the beginning, brought them together. Was it not a toy store that they met up again? Was it not for Madelyn that Minerva was buying for? Had it not been Maddy who caused that initial spark? Certainly it had been the love of the child which tied them together once again.
The man blinked in thought. Perhaps someday it could happen. There would be Minerva, him, Madelyn, and another little one. They would be a happy bunch.
Albus stuffed the ring in his pocket and started collecting his things for the day. He decided that he would wear blue robes. He knew that they brought out his eyes and he rather liked the color anyhow. He wanted to look good for Minerva the next time they saw each other. After all, he meant to propose when their next encounter arrived.
KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK. The man blinked to himself. He didn't know who that could possibly be at his door. It was still rather early.
He approached the structure and opened slowly. As unpredictable as it was, he was not entirely shocked to be looking at Poppy. She had a curious stare on her face, as if she knew something had happened within the past day. The woman greeted him warmly. "Good morning, Headmaster. I'm sorry to be bothering you so early, but you simply weren't here last night when I came to talk to you. We're very low on many of my remedies. I forgot what a nightmare the first week is!"
Albus nodded his head slowly. "I suppose it would be filled with injuries, wouldn't it?" he smiled weakly at her.
"Oh yes, very much so. Well um, I see that you're not completely ready for the day." Poppy looked him over slowly. He was still wearing his clothes that he wore the evening before to Minerva's and his hair had to have been a mess. He didn't dare wonder how horrible his eyes looked from lack of sleep. "Could you maybe meet me later in my office so we can draw up a list?"
He bobbed his head again. "I'll be there in an hour."
Poppy nodded. "Very well. I shall see you then." Then the woman walked away.
She didn't floo like she had told her mother she would several weeks before; instead, Minerva apparated outside the house. She stared out along the estate for a few seconds, trying to remember any of the happy times that she supposedly had. None came to her mind, not one. All she could recall was sitting in the grass and staring up at the sky, lonely as anything else in the world. That was her best memory.
She'd forgotten what a solemn life she'd had as a child. It had been her choice to block it all out, ignore the past, and make what she could of the future. Of course, what her chosen action had done was delude herself into believing that all was right in the world. She caused herself to think that what she had was good enough for her; but no more. What she had was not good enough, it never had been, never would be.
The woman approached the door and knocked. Minerva was not surprised at all to see Natz answer the door. After all, he'd been the head house elf for as long as she could remember. The poor dear had always been kind to her, much nicer than he had any right. As was the same old story, her parents had not been kind to the house elf. She could recall many times where the little thing was up until wee hours of the night cleaning house by himself, only because her parents demanded it.
Minerva smiled kindly at him. "Hello there."
"Miss Minerva? We weren't expecting you. Or if we were they didn't tell me. Oh, I'm so sorry. Maybe they did tell me and I forgot. Dumb, dumb me. I'm always forgetting things these days."
She blinked sadly. "No, no." She put a hand on his thin shoulder. "No one was expecting me."
He swallowed and then brought his hands to his chest, crossing fingers. "I'm sorry."
She shook her head. The woman felt as if she felt some sort of bond with this creature who worked and slaved for approval that he would never receive. But what could she possibly say? What fell out of her mouth was both reassuring and rather heartfelt. "Don't be sorry. You've done nothing wrong."
Natz nodded. "I'll show you to your mother."
A deep breath was taken and then she followed the tiny elf inside. She was not surprised at all to see the greeting of a very clean, formal entranceway. It lacked every personal detail that could make anything even remotely like a home. Everything from the white floor, to the wall which held only a single picture, or the single rug which covered the crack she'd made as a child was impersonal, proper, dead. Only for a second she wondered to herself how she ever grew up in such a horrid place.
The reason for it being only a fragment of a minute was the simple fact that a familiar face came about, which she so desperately hated. And how could she possibly miss that practiced smile, dark brown haired, lying piece of a woman? After so long, she'd almost missed her mother, if only for the reason to see what true deception looked like.
"And what have you traveled so far for, Daughter?" The woman smiled kindly at her daughter; at least that was what she was trying to come off as. She didn't meet Minerva at the eyes, but looked at her forehead. It was a practiced custom in her world; no sight, no guilt.
"I've got to talk to you." Her words were simple, perhaps a little bit vague, but the point was carried across. Eva McGonagall raised an eyebrow and then fell back to the settee with a true smile on her face. The woman thought she was clever…that Minerva's position on their argument weeks before had been changed. For the first time in her life, she was going to be proved wrong and lose a daughter for it. Merlin, how Minerva hated her mother's smug attitude!
"This wouldn't have anything to do with that man, would it? I told you that you shouldn't get involved with him. He isn't worth anything, you know. The world makes him to be some hero. He's not." She said it with the most polite, knowledgeable voice she had. She acted as if she knew all; the woman didn't know a thing.
"As a matter of fact, it would," Minerva said strongly. She stared at her mother's eyes, the ones which failed to look into hers. "And you're wrong about him. He's wonderful."
The mother raised an eyebrow. "Ah. So you've come to gloat, have you? To tell your dear old Mum how wrong she was for suggesting that you stay away from him? I would not be doing such a thing quite yet, Minerva. He will eventually throw you out just like he did the first time."
That woman who she previously called mother was sitting on the settee, really quite sure of herself, as smarmy as a snake. It made her sick. Eva knew nothing about what her daughter felt for Albus. Besides that, he'd never throw her out…not unless there was a reason. As it stood, the one reason was who the woman was speaking to. Minerva shook her head. "Like hell he is." She didn't say with disdain or eccentricity. The woman spoke it calmly, like the words didn't mean anything at all.
Her mother, however, stared at her for a few seconds. She obviously was not accustomed to being spoken to that way. Minerva didn't suppose that she got that sort of response at the state dinner and certainly never in her own home. It didn't matter though. She didn't care what her mother thought about her language. It would be their last meeting anyway. "He never threw me out and you know it."
Mrs. McGonagall blinked for a few seconds with pursed lips which eventually faded into a sly smile. "Dear, I understand you're a very fragile person. You'd fall for anything that that Albus Dumbledore would say to you. Whatever he's told you, I'm sure he's lying."
"He'd never lie to me. You would though, wouldn't you, Mother?"
"Oh no. I pride myself on being nothing short of angelic. Besides, what on Earth have I to gain from lying to you?"
She shook her head. "Plenty." Minerva was surer of her response than she'd ever been of anything in her entire life. She had it all figured out; totally, completely, certainly. Hours in the dark allowed her to think it all over, to finally see the truth. "By telling me that he hadn't written, you got the satisfaction out of seeing me unhappy. By you burning the letters you ensured that you weren't related to him. And by sending me away you made sure that he wouldn't find me if he did come to look. It makes perfect sense to me."
The woman opposite of Minerva had a small grin rise on her face. "Dear Daughter," she shook her head, "what has he done to you? You cannot possibly believe that I could do such a thing? I want nothing more than my daughter's happiness."
Minerva blinked. "You're a good liar, I'll give you that." It was true; the woman had not a hint of a liar's face; she looked, just as she had said, angelic. Her daughter knew better than that though. It was her eyes which gave it away. Though they were not looking at the woman, it was blatantly obvious that they had dilated. Perhaps that was the reason for avoiding eye contact; it gave too much away. "Tell me why in Merlin's name you did it. Why did you just happen to decide to ruin my life?"
"I have done nothing to ruin your life. You've done it all yourself. You should never have gotten involved with that idiot. He's arsenic, Minerva. He'll eat your insides until there's nothing left to hold you up. He'll ruin you." Again, she said it civilly, as if it were a sentence of no meaning at all. Both women knew that it was cutting what few strands of understanding they had.
She took in a deep breath and spoke out gently. "He's not a man who would do that sort of thing. He's the only person I've ever loved."
Eva's face grew a fiery red. She certainly did not like that response. If there was anything that she did not understand, it was love. "You were going to do things in this world, marry someone important! And now look at you! You've got an illegitimate child and are carrying on the same sordid affair you had a decade ago. What does that say to people? Hm? What?"
Her jaw dropped ever so slightly. That was the way her mother felt? God, she was right for hating the woman. "Don't bring Madelyn into this. Don't you dare!" She sat up from her seat and stood erect from her mother. She could stand being called names, but there was something to be said for defending her daughter. Maddy was the only important thing left. She would not have the child be verbally slaughtered. "She's my daughter and I love her, which is more than I could ever say about you! Did you ever love me!"
"Do you want the real answer, Minerva?" she asked smugly from the settee.
She blinked. She knew the answer. It was no secret to her. But she needed to hear it; simply hearing the word "no" would set her free. On the other hand, she was sure that she could very well break. She'd always hoped on some level that maybe there was a small bond, even a fragment. Perhaps that was too much to ask for. "Yes."
The mother stood up opposite of Minerva with the best prim and proper look she owned. Then she admitted it, never ceasing to stop the disdain from flowing out of her mouth. "No. I've never loved you. From the moment you were born I knew I'd hate you one day. You're childish and rude and pretentious," the woman spat, "You think you're a special child? Merlin, no. You're as common as dirt and I'll have you know that dirt does not belong in this house."
"You think I didn't know that?" she whispered. "I never belonged here. I never was like you or father. I cannot hide my emotions the way you do. I'm not that gifted," she hissed back.
Her mother blinked for a second and then responded with her head held high. "You never were one to hold back what you thought. That, I must say, has to be your most unruly characteristic. It was always very unbecoming."
Her mother had always had a way of making her feel inferior, stupid, and worth about a billionth fragment of what she really was. It was something she had unknowingly become used to. The moments flashed back to her, one after another. She saw herself being scolded and accused in numerous places, which included her room, dining area, even outside; her sanctuary.
She was struck dumb for a second or two. Overcome by horrid memories and even more horrid thoughts about blasting her mother into oblivion, she had no voice to speak.
As was only natural, the crueler of the two women continued talking. "And you know, you do have the ugliest temper. Your father and I used to sit and talk about it. Neither of us really believed that you could last long with it. As usual, you proved us right, Dear."
Minerva shook her head. No, she definitely did not believe that statement. Her mother and father hadn't shared a civil conversation since she was perhaps two. There was no room for them to speak about her, may it be a negative or positive conversation. The woman blinked. She came back mildly, gently. The accusations would get her nowhere, not yet. The argument was for her mother, not her. "Just tell me why you did it and I'll leave. I did not come here to be verbally slaughtered."
"I find that rather odd. You were always ready for a fight. Perhaps that's why you fell for the war hero, isn't it?" A hint of hysteria had come to the woman's voice. "You just went on your merry way and made love to him? Was he what you wanted? Some knight in shining armor? To live happily ever after like in those muggle tales you read your daughter?"
She blinked and then responded perhaps even gentler than before. "I can't explain love."
The woman opposite of her let out the most horrific laugh; low pitched, bounding, crisp. She put her arms around her body and shook her head with a knowing smile on her face. She hissed out her words with nothing short of contempt. "You were always gullible. I suppose he said that he loved you? You believed him. What a sad thing you are. Love? There's no such thing."
Her mother was wrong; she'd always been wrong. There was such thing as love; the woman had just never felt or even given it. Eva was a person who worked for herself. She had no room inside her heart to let others in. Money, gowns, and slander were the only things that she had ever loved; none of them gave any affection back.
"Yes there is." She stared straight at the woman's eyes. Her mother was looking at her now, perhaps being pulled in by impulse. "I love him. He's everything that you and father aren't. And what's more, he loves me back."
The other of the two shook her head spitefully. "Your perception of life has always been altered. Tell me, Minerva, what is love? Humor me."
Minerva blinked in thought. She couldn't answer that. She knew how love felt, but she couldn't describe love. What was it? It was an emotion…a feeling…a connection. But how else could she possibly describe the thing? "It's knowing that you'll wake up next to someone special instead of an empty side. It's the knowledge that you will have a shoulder to cry on."
She stopped, suddenly hit with a memory. It was only that first night where he called her outside. They met and they talked. He kissed her. He confessed. She confessed. They agreed to be friends. Both of them knew that it would never work out that way, even if they denied it. Albus was right for calling her out that night. He needed to tell her that he loved her; she needed to know. And Minerva…Minerva needed to tell him that she loved him and that she'd never stopped. The guilt was still hitting her for the things that she did—and didn't—say, but she was thankful for that night. She still remembered the way he looked at her. Her throat began to compress as she continued on. "It's…it's the way your heart starts racing when you look at him. It's how he looks at you when you're in his arms. It's a kiss that you won't ever forget. It's his smile when he sees you. It's the way he whispers to you when you're alone."
It was hopeless. She'd always known it, but now it was certain. There were too many moments that she'd ruined by not telling him about their daughter. There was no foundation to build upon anymore. God, she loved him. He would never love her again.
"I should have known that you'd be the end of me," Eva whispered. "Your so called love has put this family into a state of shame."
She blinked. "Excuse me?"
"This family has spent centuries developing itself, changing into the best that it can be. Then you come along. Silly, obsequious, you fall for the man who very nearly ruined our reign to begin with. What irony!"
Her heart began racing inside her chest. It was making sense now. She understood. It was social. It was the war. It was the family name. God, how could she have been so stupid! Her mother and father had both been pro-war when Grindewald came about. He was on the rise when Minerva was just finishing school. Even then, Albus and Grindewald had been the obvious enemies. One was leading for an equal cause and the other was leading for world domination. It took no genius to figure out which side her parents had been rooting.
The woman shook her head violently. It was horrible, absolutely horrible. She'd been denied love for all eternity because of her parents and their damned war. She was kept away from Albus on purpose. And now that she was back in his arms, it was simply too late.
"The war," she whispered. That was all she could say. It made sense now; all of it. What else could she say? The next words out of her mouth, she was sure, would be some horrible spell that her mother could not get out of on her own. Though she could do it, there were consequences from doing something like that to a person like her mother.
"The rise to power!" she shrieked. "He ruined it all. When he caused Grindewald to fall everything began unraveling! The greater good, he said he was fighting for! The greater good is not this equality and freedom for all. The greater good was Grindewald! He fought for the reign of our people over the mudbloods and muggles. And now look! We are forced to hide in secret because your damned Albus Dumbledore had to blow him to oblivion!"
"He saved our people!" she yelled back, finding not only her voice, but her temper.
"You're dense too, did I ever tell you that?" she snarled. "He ruined it all. And you fell in love with that wretched soul. And then there was that…child," her mouth twisted in disgust. "She's just like you and she looks like her father." She stopped and stared at her daughter, making sure that there was eye contact. Her next few sentences were only meant to hurt Minerva; it was Eva's nature to do something like that. "I can't tell you how many times I've found myself imagining what it would be like to give her something fatal. There are spells, you know, for that sort of thing. Once I even looked in a book."
She'd been leaving her daughter with a monster, a horrible, thoughtless monster. Minerva had known on some level always that her mother was prone to being unkind, but she'd never considered that the woman could possibly have such a horrific mind. Minerva's fingers slid around her wand. She wasn't considering any consequences anymore. "You're horrible!" she screamed. "You and you're entire world should burn in hell! She's done nothing!"
"But she's his child! It's your doing!"
She shook her head violently. "It had nothing to do with you! I fell in love with him!"
"You did it because of me! You went into his arms because of me! You went there again because I told you not to! Don't lie!"
"No!" she shrieked. "I love him! Love him! Love him! You're the dense one if you cannot see that! I've always loved him! You've killed my every chance of ever being happy!" She stopped and then blinked. She realized beyond a shadow of a doubt what it was that had happened. "That was your goal though, wasn't it?" Minerva stared at her mother.
Silence swept over them. Mrs. McGonagall blinked incoherently. A hard expression was on her face, one that couldn't possibly ever be budged. That was what told her that indeed, she had always meant for sadness to Minerva. As she had so said earlier, she knew Minerva would be her undoing. As it happened, it went both ways. The daughter undid the mother and the mother undid the daughter.
Minerva shook her head and loosened her grip on her wand. She had no need to be violent. She could blame her mother for her unhappiness, loathe and demean her, but that was all she was able to do. Breaking Eva into a million pieces could never solve Minerva's problem…nothing ever could. "Goodbye."
Then she left. As she exited the house, quiet and formal, she walked past a table where a vase was placed. It was a beautiful vase, made of fine porcelain with a golden design. She picked it up stared at it for a few seconds. Then, it simply dropped, slid out of her fingers. As the crash echoed through the empty hall, a wave of happiness drenched over her. Never again would she have to lay eyes on the house which held so many horrid memories. She'd never have to imagine the scenes that went on again. She was free.
He felt a little bit better. Albus had sat down for a half hour nap, not that it completely fulfilled his need for sleep. He still was carrying a headache, but it was not nearly as bad as it could have been.
The man entered the infirmary where Poppy was currently remaking a bed where a student had just left. She looked up at Albus with a smile. "Good morning. I hope I wasn't too out of line for coming so early this morning. You see, I just didn't catch you last night, and I knew that I'd forget to talk to you unless I was to see you early today. You know how the mind works!" She grinned cheerfully.
Albus nodded his head, a wee bit of a smile crawling on his own face. The happiness was infectious when one was around Poppy. "You're the smart one, I daresay. If I had been you, I'd have forgotten just overnight. Of course, that's why you're the head of medicine and I am only the man who runs the school," he chuckled at his own sad joke.
"That you are, Headmaster!" She approached him and stood only a few feet away, looking at him with a raised eyebrow. "To my office then? The sooner we finish the list, the sooner you get to be back with Minerva."
He raised an eyebrow of his own. "What makes you think that I'd want to be with Miss McGonagall?"
She blinked innocently. "Because she is Miss McGonagall, dear Headmaster. And besides that," she whispered gently, "Things like perfume do tend to rub off. Minerva's is um…rather detectable, if you understand what I mean."
He did. Albus understood completely. Poppy knew the truth without even a word being spoken. She not only could detect the perfume which had obviously stayed on his skin, but she knew what he had been wearing the evening before; she'd been the one to comment on it. The school nurse knew quite well that he and Minerva had made love.
"Yes. Well, let us go to your office then."
Poppy led him to her tiny office in the corner of the infirmary. She walked over towards her desk and took out a piece of parchment which was very familiar to the both of them. It was the order list, so to speak. It had anything and everything that a school in need of medical attention could want. Next, she pulled out a quill and ink. When she had finished that, she stared at Albus, ready to check the boxes.
"What is it that you need?" he asked gently.
"Around eighty galleons worth. Can the school spare that much so early?"
He nodded. "Rather earlier than later. Can you read off the list, though? Just to be sure that I'm doing my job correctly. This is only my second time doing this."
The woman bobbed her head up and down slowly. "Bandages, Blister Resolve, Deflation, Dingleby's Long Lasting Tape, Headerin, Inflammation Repellent, Ingested Poison Fighter, LayerLite, Mendinnine, Pigment Turn-About, and Spotless Eye: eye cleaner. Those are the ones that are necessary for now. I imagine that in a week or two I will need more."
"Very well." Albus spoke softly. "And you say this will cost eighty galleons?"
"Well, yes. This school has always ordered in bulk and it just so happens that some of these remedies are really quite expensive."
He nodded. "Alright. I'll trust you, if that's what you say. You must remember, I'm just getting used to this job. I've never been a headmaster before," he smiled.
"You sure haven't." Poppy grinned happily. "You seem to be having quite a bit going for you, I must say. You've got a dream job and a good woman beside you. You must feel lighter than air."
Albus thought about the comment before nodding. He did feel light. He was in love with a beautiful woman, a gorgeous nine year old, and a wonderful job. Things could not be any better. "I'm the happiest that I think I've ever been." He didn't normally tell people things that personal, but Poppy was one of the few exceptions. One could not help but just open up to the woman. She was so bubbly herself that a person just needed to equal her energy, delight, and insight.
"That's just wonderful. I'm so glad that you two were finally able to work things out. You see, Minerva was really worried about how you'd react...well, me too, I suppose. She thought that your relationship would be over. She was petrified, in a manner of speaking."
He blinked. On the other hand, Poppy had a way of losing sight of the conversation that was happening. He stared in confusion as the woman continued on, as was her custom.
"But she loves you and knew that she had to tell you the truth. I think that note is what made her finally decide to tell you; well, that and the guilt. She's felt really guilty. You weren't too hard on her, were you?" Poppy stopped and stared at Albus.
It made no sense; none whatsoever. He just blurted it out. "What in Merlin's name are you talking about?"
"You being Madelyn's father of course. Minerva was really standoffish about it. Like I said, she thought that you'd chuck her for not telling you. But you see, you're still together. Now my question is, were you hard on her? I mean, obviously you weren't because you are still a couple, but what happened? Or is that too personal?"
He felt as if he had just been dropped down a cliff and was never going to hit the ground. He could feel the wind blow past his face, the unbeatable silence that was hitting his ears, and the ultimate feeling of falling. He'd never hit solid ground again. And if by some miracle he did, he'd be dead. But then again, the pressure of the fall was killing him by itself. "I'm…Madelyn's father?"
"Of course, what do you think I've been talking about?" Poppy blinked innocently.
He shook his head. He suddenly saw the big picture. It made sense. She didn't want to fall in love with him again because of Madelyn. She acted strangely in the toy shop because their daughter was there. She didn't want to hold hands in front of Madelyn because she was, in fact, theirs.
Madelyn was his…that's why they were so much alike. They acted alike, had similar powers, they even looked alike.
Minerva…she kept her away from him all of those years. Ten years had passed since they had made love. He thought it was a side effect due to a letter that was never given, but apparently not. She didn't want to see him. If she had, Minerva would have told him about their daughter, but no, she never found a moment for that. She didn't love him. She didn't care about him. That woman was using him…abusing his emotions. Damn her.
He should have known something was up. She'd acted strangely before they'd made love. She acted as if she didn't want it, as if it would be a breach of conduct. It was. She was feeling guilty. That's why she said she didn't want children. That was why she made him leave so early. That was why she looked at him so strangely when he left.
He added the figures in his head, one event after another. He understood. Albus felt more of an idiot than he ever had in his entire life. He'd been abused by the woman who he had always considered to love him. She was just playing with his emotions. Well, those days were over. The deceit had concluded. He no longer loved Minerva.