A/N: wow. That's pretty much all I have to say…except it isn't really. I'm SO unbelievably sorry that I haven't updated this story in such a long time. I don't even know what happened, I just ran out of juice. I had absolutely no idea where it was going and that kinda story isn't all that appealing to write on, so I got lazy and left it there to collect dust for months. And months. And months. But I suddenly had the urge to write on it, so hopefully you'll be forgiving! As always, review at the end of the chapter to let me know how you liked it, what I need to improve on, and other stuff like that. Happy reading!

DISCLAIMER: actually…I own everything. Got it all. Scarlett, Rhett, mammy, the whole entire group. Kidding, of course. I own nothing. Except that little thing called the plot.

Chapter 7, Eyes of Green Heart of Gold

Stirrings of a Different Kind

Sleep wasn't coming easily to Rhett Butler. Apparently for his wife it was, if her soft snores were any indication. He chuckled lightly to himself as he thought of how mortified and indignant Scarlett would be if she knew she snored. He could perfectly picture her pale cheeks take on the rosy color they always did when she lied, her lips pursing slightly as she pouted to herself. He couldn't believe that just an hour or two before he had kissed those lips. Yes, he had wanted to, and badly, but what had he been thinking?

As if she could tell he was thinking about her, Scarlett's sleeping body snuggled closer to his own. This was rather surprising, he couldn't help but think. Scarlett was never one for cuddling at night, and when she did he could see in her eyes the want of something and that something, to his misfortune, was never him. It was always money, or that damned Ashley Wilkes. But this was different; she was sleeping. Her eyes weren't open to give him a full view of her desires, and her mouth wasn't open either, with the intention of talking, that is.

This change in Scarlett was confusing him. It was unsettling, really. He needed time. He needed space. He wasn't going to leave her, but he just needed to understand that her love was true. He didn't know if he could trust her with his heart again. Sighing, he turned on his side to face his sleeping Scarlett. She was touching him ever so slightly—he could feel her legs rubbing against his, and her prolonged stomach rested against him. Her mouth had closed again and the snoring had subsided. She was sleeping tranquilly now, with the air of a calmed sea surrounding the room.

Still awake, he sighed again before gently detaching himself from Scarlett and slipping out of bed.

Scarlett awakened out of her short slumber expecting two things. One, a full bed, and two, morning.

Neither happened to be true. She was quite aware that the bed she was currently laying in happened to be empty, excluding herself. Where Rhett had been now contained only a rumpled pillow and the sheets folded down to the bottom of the bed. This part she could barely see. It was pitch black in her bedroom, the moon giving off the only light. Obviously, it was not morning. Her mind, although foggy with sleep, began to race. Where had he gone?

Trying to convince herself he had only gone back to his bedroom, Scarlett laboriously lifted herself from her bed and found her small slippers on the floor by her bed. They weren't intended to be worn inside the house, but she had adapted them to suit her purposes. Since she had gotten pregnant, she felt cold continuously. She could not get warm, no matter how many layers of clothes she wore. It scared her to be freezing on the inside and yet wiping droplets of moisture from her forehead simultaneously. She padded down the corridor, reaching Rhett's room. She pushed the heavy door open, not honestly expecting to find him curled up in his bed.

She was correct. His bed was unmade, but that could be attributed to his joining her in the middle of the night. She couldn't help but feel a sliver of desperation slide down her spine. What was he playing at? He was trying to destroy her heart, and that wasn't sitting well with her. Why couldn't they just work things out and be happy? It was a childish ideal, she knew, but it was comforting nonetheless. She walked over to where Rhett had lain and burrowed under the thick blankets. The very essence of all that was Rhett absorbed her. The manly smells of brandy and cigars enveloped her.

Brandy! He must have gone downstairs to get a glass. Scarlett remembered Rhett having told her once, long ago, that Brandy helped to soothe his nerves. If there was ever a time where Rhett might need Brandy it would be tonight. If she wasn't mistaken, or hadn't been dreaming, Rhett had kissed her. She wasn't entirely sure what had inspired him to do so, but the fact that he had was enough. She crawled out of her small nest of masculinityand quietly descended the stairs. The entire lower level of the house was the color of midnight. Not a light shone, even the moon was blocked out by her hideously heavy red velvet draperies. Suddenly nervous, Scarlett quickly walked back up the stairs to her bedroom. Where had he gone? Had he left her again, after he had kissed her? The sad thing was, it wouldn't surprise her if he had.

Her room was still dark, and the thought of going back to sleep in her bed alone depressed her. Sighing, she headed towards the small balcony overlooking the backyard. She walked through the double doors and was shocked to see Rhett standing there looking out into the yard. So he hadn't left! A jolt rushed through her at this newfound turn of events. She moved so she was standing next to him, leaning her forearms against the railing. Neither of them spoke, they just stared straight ahead in silence. Tired of it, Scarlett was the first to speak. "I thought you'd left," she said in a quiet, monotonous voice. It was utterly devoid of emotion, or so she thought. Rhett, however, could hear the pain and questions through it even without looking at her. Disregarding it, he did as he always did. Hespoke on even though he would regret itlater.

"Maybe I should have," he replied dryly. It was low, he knew. She had obviously been trying to reconcile for the past months, but even though it was the very thing his heart desired he couldn't bring himself to admit it. Scarlett was not acting like herself, had not been acting like herself since he had returned with Bonnie. It didn't seem genuine; but more likely he wouldn't let himself believe it was genuine. It would just end in hurt. He justified it to himself that it would end in Scarlett's hurt, but selfishly he understood that it was more his own pride that would get hurt, his own heart that would get hurt. He liked Scarlett better her normal self. She was predictable, selfish, and unsympathetic. He could read her like a book. They were so alike his mind didn't question that they belonged together.

But here was Scarlett, transforming under his nose into a lady.

And now he couldn't help but feel that she deserved better than him. Taking in a deep breath, he opened his mouth again, with all the intentions of making her realize it as well.

A/N: so, short chapter, yes. But it IS a chapter! I finally updated this story; I finally understand where this story is headed. That realization should make things on this story go faster because it'll help me a lot in knowing what to write. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and that you aren't too mad about the length. Or lake thereof. Review, please, and I promise it won't be ANYWHERE NEAR as long as it was before for another update. Thanks for staying faithful to this story and not giving up on it (or me)!