Kathryn sighed and leaned against the wall. She was back in her quarters after a 10 hour shift on the bridge. It had been a very tense day as they were travelling through an unpopulated part of space and what she needed was a distraction from her present condition instead of being allowed to dwell on it.

She had an appointment with the Doctor in ten minutes but was not feeling at all inclined to go. She wanted nothing more than a long sleep to escape it all but that would not come easily. But she was alone at least, and that was enough for her to relax and let go for a short while. Slowly, she slid to the floor and sat there with her knees tucked under her chin. The overpowering sea of emotions that was churning within her manifested itself as a single tear which slipped down her cheek and onto her combadge.

She jumped as she heard footsteps approach and then stop outside her door. Taking a moment to replace her miserable expression with an emotionless mask, she wiped the tear from her face, straightened her uniform and said "Come in."

Chakotay was surprised to see the door open before he had even gotten past wondering whether he was making the right decision.

"Good afternoon Captain, I was wondering if I could speak to you for a moment."

She didn't move. He glanced down the corridor and saw Ensign Kim approaching.

"In private?"

She raised an eyebrow inquisitively; seemingly curious as to why he hadn't stated a reason for his unheralded arrival, but never the less stepped aside and allowed him to enter.

Chakotay looked around. The room was dark; Kathryn hadn't activated the lights even though she had been off duty for the past twenty minutes. There was a cup, presumably having contained coffee at some point, lying on the table and a blanket strewn across the chair. Something was definitely wrong. Chakotay took in a deep breath. It would take some nerve to confront Kathryn but he couldn't let her go on like this.

"Computer; activate lights. What seems to be the problem Commander?"

Kathryn walked over to the replicator to get herself another cup of coffee. She could sense that what was about to come would be personal; Chakotay hadn't even pretended to be coming to see her under the premise of discussing anything to do with the ship.

"Can I get you anything?"

He gave her a confused look; she seems to have interrupted a train of thought. She gestured to the replicator.

"Ah, no thank you."

Chakotay seated himself by the table and waited until Kathryn did the same, clutching the steaming cup of coffee to her face. He could see by her look that she knew what was coming. This wasn't going to be easy.

"Captain... Kathryn, I know that something has been bothering you lately. You just haven't been yourself. You've been tense, you haven't been sleeping enough and you're injured."

She shot him a dangerous look.

"I noticed that you were limping this morning in the airponics bay."

Kathryn thought deeply before replying to this and cleverly disguised it by taking an extra long sip of coffee. He was the one person she had hoped wouldn't come after her, wouldn't notice anything out of the ordinary. If she was honest with herself, Chakotay was the one person that she couldn't lie to. He knew her, possibly better than she knew herself, and it was difficult to lie to him even if she wanted to. The biggest problem was that she didn't want to lie to him. She wanted to spill out all of the hurt and worry that was building up inside her. If she did lie, she knew that he wasn't likely to force the issue. He would give her that look of infinite sadness and disappointment that could rend her heart like a thousand daggers and then leave the subject. All Kathryn wanted in the entire universe at that moment was for the man she loved to hold her, to pull her close and tell her that everything would be okay, that he would protect her. But she couldn't. This time she couldn't afford to be Kathryn. She couldn't break down and tell him everything that was wrong. She couldn't do that to him. Imagining the look on his face if he knew was enough to strengthen her resolve even further. He couldn't know. She had to put others before herself, even now.

Chakotay was getting even more worried. Kathryn hadn't spoken for almost a minute. He took this pause as a sign that there was definitely something very wrong. What she was deciding now was whether or not to tell him. He held his breath. He could see her face crease into a deep frown as she placed her coffee cup back on the table and then lace her fingers together and rested her chin on her hands. This was bad. While other women would have been on the verge of tears, Captain Janeway would merely frown and remain silent.

Kathryn looked him directly in the eyes and spoke at last, trying to make her voice as reassuring as possible.

"I appreciate your concern Chakotay, but I really am fine. I twisted my ankle slightly while walking this morning and I was taking a look at it when you happened upon me 'hiding' as you so humorously put it. I have since been to the Doctor and he assures me that I will make a full recovery. It isn't believed to be life threatening."

At this she smiled, hoping to make him believe that she really was okay, but he could see the lie in her eyes and she could see the pain in his.

Chakotay knew that he was about to take a dangerous step, but he was beyond caring at this point. Kathryn was hurt, and she was making up a pathetic lie to try and cover the truth. It was too unlike her... He leaned closer to her and spoke in a quiet but deadly serious voice...

"Kathryn, we both know that's a lie. Something is very wrong and I want to know what it is. You're hurt."

At this he gave her such a heartfelt look of concern that it almost melted her resolve entirely.

She stiffened and then stood up, her official voice returning.

"Commander, while I appreciate the trouble that you have taken, I regret to inform you that this conversation ends here. Dismissed."

With that, she turned to walk away but, throwing protocol by the wayside, he grabbed her by the shoulders and pulled her so that she was facing him.

"I'm not going to let you go on like this Kathryn. You need help. Let me give it to you."

She shook herself free of his grip but didn't move away. She was almost a head shorter than him, but still intimidating in her own way and her eyes flashed daggers at him. She moved closer, so that their faces almost touched. It was not a move of affection but of anger.

"I said dismissed Commander" she said in a voice barely audible, but heavy with threats.

Chakotay stood his ground and stared her down, becoming angry himself.

"I'm not moving until I get some answers."

Kathryn stood back, now seething with anger.

"I'm warning you Commander. If you don't leave my quarters immediately I'll have you thrown in the brig."

Chakotay was taken aback. He had never seen Kathryn this angry with him before. Perhaps it was better to leave it for the moment. But he couldn't leave her like this. Who knew what her condition was. He took a step towards the door and then hesitated.

Kathryn tapped her combadge.

"Janeway to Security"

"Fine, I'm leaving."

Tuvok's voice could be heard over the combadge.

"Is everything alright Captain?"

"Yes, thank you Tuvok. Sorry to have bothered you."

Kathryn never took her eyes from Chakotay's as she spoke and her look conveyed to him that he was on very dangerous ground.

"Get out" she snapped.

Chakotay turned and walked from the room, tears pricking at his eyes. Why did she keep doing this? He stopped in the doorway and looked back. She looked so small in the vast room, standing there, rigid with anger. He wasn't angry at her anymore, he just wanted to protect her and help her.

"You can't keep pushing me away forever Kathryn"

With that, he turned and left. As the door slid shut, Kathryn slid to the floor in a heap. She allowed herself to cry for the first time in years, sobbing loudly into her hair which had fallen from its clip and was strewn across the floor. He was right, she couldn't, and the effort was draining her.

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Kathryn refused to meet Chakotay's eyes the next day on the bridge. The harsh words of their argument still hung in the air. The rest of the crew could sense it and the atmosphere on the bridge was tenser than ever before.

As Kathryn read over a PADD report from B'Elanna she thought back to what he had said the night before. She didn't want to keep pushing him away. In fact, she couldn't afford to. She was dying.

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Well there you go! That's my second chapter... hope y'all liked it! Please, please review if you've read this far! I know it doesn't seem very JC what with them having a huge fight and all but I'll get there, honest! In the meantime, suggestions are welcome! Also bear in mind that much of this was written late at night so please point out any errors, grammatical or otherwise! Are the characters accurate?