Chakotay was frustrated beyond words. He tapped angrily at the PADD he was working on. Tuvok, who was working nearby, noted the first officer's behaviour but merely raised his eyebrow and said nothing. The Captain had been displaying uncharacteristic behaviour lately as well. It was illogical for the command team to be displaying such behaviour. If they were ill, they should consult the Doctor. He had already advised the Captain to do so and she had politely agreed and changed the subject. Tuvok suspected that she had not taken his advice. Although humans were characteristically illogical, the Captain usually took the best course of action given the situation. Tuvok was puzzled. Humans...
Chakotay kept glancing over at Kathryn but she refused to acknowledge him. He had tried asking the Doctor if anything was wrong with her. The Doctor had acknowledged that Kathryn had been to see him, but refused to say why on the basis of "doctor-patient confidentiality". Chakotay kept hitting dead ends and it was driving him crazy. It seemed that the answers lay with Kathryn herself and no one else. Given her behaviour the evening before, he was reluctant to try and confront her again. He was glad that she had been to see the Doctor, but couldn't understand why she hadn't improved. If it was a simple leg injury, the Doctor should have been able to heal it in minutes. There was something deeply wrong with her, body and spirit, and he was determined to help her. The Doctor was experienced, but he was no counsellor. Chakotay knew Kathryn as well as he knew himself and he could feel in his heart that she was hurting.
Tom was surprised to notice the look on Chakotay's face. The commander usually had the beginnings of a smile on his face and even in tense situations he merely looked determined but now he was bearing a look of sheer torture. Was he homesick? It couldn't be that... they had been in the Delta Quadrant for 5 years and Chakotay had never had that look before. B'Elanna had mentioned to him the night before in Sandrine's that the Captain had been out of sorts lately. Judging by their behaviour today, the command team had had a fight. Tom couldn't understand that pair. They cared deeply for each other; that he knew. With the Captain, it was difficult to tell how she was feeling a lot of the time, but when she looked at Chakotay, it just radiated from her. She always stood a little closer to him than she needed to, and it was clear that they enjoyed each others company. But today they were barely speaking. Tom suspected that he was about to take a fall in the betting pools.
"If I might interrupt your reverie Lieutenant?"
Tom jumped. The Captain was standing right beside him and he hadn't even noticed. He kicked himself inwardly. She didn't look too pleased either.
"Warp 5 Mr. Paris."
He nodded and quickly accessed the control panel. If Janeway was angry, he didn't want to be in the range of fire.
"Commander Chakotay you have the bridge."
With that, she left without any explanation as to where she was going. Chakotay watched her retreating form and sighed. Tom and Harry exchanged a look and Tuvok frowned. Chakotay seemed agitated. About 3 minutes later he stood up.
"Tuvok, the bridge is yours"
He walked briskly out of the room and into the nearest turbolift. He had an idea of where the Captain had gone but he wasn't sure that he should follow. He would only push her further away by interfering. By now, he was walking along the corridor to sickbay. He stopped just outside the door. He could hear voices inside that confirmed his theory; Kathryn and the Doctor.
"How much has it progressed Doctor?"
There was a long pause.
"Give it to me straight Doctor, I'm not afraid."
The quiver in her voice betrayed her. Kathryn knew that she was frightened. This disease was uncontrollable. The Doctor had been working on it for weeks and hadn't found a cure, or even a treatment to slow the progression of her symptoms.
"Your condition is advancing more quickly than I had initially anticipated. It appears to be going through a series of rapid mutations. At the moment, it is affecting your mobility. I predict that..." the Doctor paused uncomfortably "that if it continues to advance at the current rate you will be completely paralysed from the neck down within 3 days."
Kathryn paled. She had had no idea that it would happen so fast.
The Doctor was still talking.
"I would like to keep you in sickbay so that I can monitor you..."
Kathryn couldn't hear him anymore. Everything had gone blank. All she could do was stare straight ahead.
Outside the door, Chakotay felt as though he had been punched in the stomach. He had known that it was serious but... paralysed? It seemed impossible. Kathryn was to fiery, too passionate, too full of life to be paralysed. He couldn't help it any longer... he burst through the door into sickbay. The Doctor looked up at him indignantly but Kathryn didn't move. She was sitting on a biobed with her head in her hands.
"Really Commander, I must insist that you don't burst into sickbay like this. It is most distressing for my patients..."
Chakotay ignored him. Walking up to Kathryn, he placed his hands on her shoulders.
"Kathryn?"
Still she didn't move. Her mind had barely registered the touch. She felt empty and hollow inside, as though someone had ripped out her insides. She could vaguely hear the Doctor and Chakotay arguing.
"Commander, I insist that you leave. I need to treat the Captain in peace."
Chakotay turned on him, anger etched on his face.
"You haven't helped her. You can't. Why can't you cure her?"
"Calm down please Commander. I am doing everything that I can to..."
"Well it's not good enough!"
"I am aware of that Commander" said the Doctor testily. "Given the circumstances I am making the best progress possible. I do not wish to see the Captain suffer, any more than you do."
Chakotay's anger dissipated slightly.
"Forgive me Doctor, I..."
"I know that you must be upset. However, it is in the Captain's best interests that she remain in sickbay to be treated. She needs plenty of rest. You are correct in assuming that I have not found a cure, but I hope to be able to discover one. For now, I am giving her something to help her to relax."
The Doctor motioned for him to stand aside as he bent slightly to speak to Kathryn.
"Captain, I'm going to give you the same drug that I gave you yesterday evening."
She inclined her head slightly, allowing him to inject the hypospray into her neck. The Doctor turned back to Chakotay.
"Don't worry; she won't be in any pain. I'll leave you both to talk."
The Doctor moved closer and lowered his voice.
"It would be best if you could keep her as calm as possible. We all know the Captain to be a resilient person but this has been very traumatising."
Chakotay nodded and sat next to Kathryn on the biobed. He had no idea what to say or do. The Doctor surveyed his patient again.
"I'll be in my office if you need anything Captain. Good day Commander."
The Doctor left them alone. Chakotay looked at his hands. He felt so helpless and he hated it. Kathryn still hadn't moved or even acknowledged his presence. He wondered whether she was still angry at him. It wasn't his place to worry about that now. It was up to him to help her in any way that he could. He gave her a few more minutes before attempting to talk again.
"Kathryn?"
She seemed as though she couldn't hear him. Kathryn didn't know what was going on in her mind. Her head felt as though it was buzzing. She needed to talk to him. There was a lot to be said and time wasn't on her side. But she couldn't even formulate a thought properly, never mind trying to organise everything that she wanted to tell him. 3 days? It was too soon; far sooner than the Doctor had estimated. That wasn't enough time to... there could never be enough time.
Chakotay reached out to Kathryn and gently lowered her hands from her face and held them in his own. There were red lines on her skin from the pressure she had been exerting.
"Please talk to me Kathryn. I'm here to help."
She was shaking. He had never seen her like this before. He wanted to comfort her but he wasn't sure how she would respond. Gently, he tilted her chin upwards so that he was looking into her eyes. He could see so much pain there; not physical but emotional. He loved her more in that moment than he could ever have imagined was possible. Leaning forward slightly, he placed a tender kiss on her lips.
When he drew away, he saw a single tear slip down her cheek. She exhaled heavily and then leaned in towards him and buried her face in his shoulder. He wrapped both arms around her narrow frame and held her tight.
"I love you Kathryn and I'm not waiting any longer to tell you. Anything that you are going through, we're going through it together."
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That's it for now because I have homework to attend to! Sorry for stopping mid-scene... will finish tomorrow. R&R welcome!
