Kathryn lingered in his embrace for what seemed like forever. It felt so good to be comforted, instead of being the comforter. Tentatively, her mind began to try and grasp what was going on. She had 3 days, just 3 days to get everything in order. After that... who knew? Unless the Doctor was able to find a cure... she had to believe that he could. There was no point in blind optimism; she had to accept that it was very likely she would not survive. But curling into a ball and ignoring the time she had left was equally pointless. Kathryn wasn't sure that she was strong enough to handle this. She had always accepted possible death as a part of her job, but not this way. Lying on a biobed while she waited for her body and mind to slowly deteriorate was not what she had been prepared for. But she didn't have to do this alone anymore. The full realisation of what had just transpired between herself and her first officer began to dawn on her. Through the fog of the shock and turmoil in her mind shone one clear and undeniable fact. He did love her. He loved her as she loved him. Given all that was going on in her mind, she wasn't quite sure that she could trust that it was really happening. Could this be both the best and worst day of her life at once?

She turned her tear stained face sideways. She could see that her right hand was clenched in a fist, clutching Chakotay's uniform just above his combadge. Her other arm was tucked in to her chest and wisps of her hair had fallen from her carefully arranged hairdo. Chakotay's head was gently resting on hers. Both of his arms were wrapped tightly around her and he was rubbing the small of her back comfortingly. She sniffed and almost smiled at the thought of what a field day Tom Paris would have if he could see her now.

She slowly extracted herself from his arms and sat up, looking into his eyes. He brushed away her tears with his thumb, cupping her chin in his hands.

"I meant what I said Kathryn; I'm here for you no matter what. We can face this together."

Fresh tears streamed down her face. All that she could manage was a husky "Thank you."

He leaned closer to her, so that their foreheads were touching. Looking deep into her eyes, he made her a promise:

"I'm going to fight for you Kathryn. I've loved you since the moment I saw you and I'm not going to let you go."

"I don't want you to. I love you."

He kissed her forehead gently. She smiled.

"You're not going to be paralysed. You can beat this."

She choked. How much had he heard? Did he know? She had to tell him now, before another moment passed. She covered his hands with hers and turned away from him.

"Chakotay I'm... the disease is affecting more than my mobility. It's attacking my entire neural system. I'm dying."

She couldn't meet his eyes. She didn't want to see the look on his face. Had she done the right thing? For once, she didn't know. It was only fair that he knew. She herself had still not come to terms with what was happening to her own body, but knowing that he was extremely upset allowed for her captain's instinct to kick in and she put his feelings before her own.

She allowed herself to meet his gaze and her heart was torn by what she saw. None of the things she had expected; fear or self pity. Just an aching sense of loss. He had lost his whole family and now he was about to lose her. Forgetting that she was the one who was suffering, Kathryn was filled with compassion for him. She felt his hands slip away from her, but she kept a hold of them. Putting on the strongest voice she could muster, she attempted to reassure him.

"The Doctor is doing everything that he can. He has the largest database of medical knowledge that Starfleet has ever known. I know that he can find a cure."

She knew that her voice sounded hollow. Now Chakotay was the one who couldn't speak. He felt as though his world had fallen apart. It had been more than he could handle to think that Kathryn would be paralysed. Tears were filling his eyes. He reprimanded himself. How on earth could he be so selfish at a time like this? Kathryn had been going through this alone for weeks. She needed his help, his comfort. Now was not the time for him to fall apart. He snapped back to life.

"Of course he can. I'm going to help him, and you're going to fight this thing."

He gave what he hoped was an encouraging smile.

"You're the strongest woman I know."

She looked at him with resolve. She would fight as long as there was breath in her body. Her spirit could be weakened, but not broken.

Chakotay couldn't believe how beautiful she looked. Her hair was dishevelled, her face tearstained and her uniform crumpled and yet she was still the most breathtaking woman he had ever seen. He pulled her to him again. This time Kathryn wrapped her arms around him too and they clung to each other.

"I'll never let go."

"Never."

The Doctor glanced at them from his office. It appeared that the Captain had revealed the full nature of her illness to the Commander. It was also evident that the true nature of their mutual feelings for each other had come to light. The Doctor was no psychologist, but he understood the human concept of love and his hearing eyesight was impeccable. He had often seen the Captain and First Officer treating each other in much the same way as Tom and B'Elanna, whom he understood to share such a bond. From what he understood, it would not be detrimental to the Captain's treatment and he suspected that it would relieve some of the stress that she had been suffering from. She was a strong woman. But was she strong enough? He frowned as he looked back to the screen that he had been studying.

'Cardassian Sidereal Virus: Rare disease affecting the nervous system and neural functions. Initial symptoms: pain associated with strenuous activity, decreased mobility leading to eventual paralysis. Eventually resulting in loss of synaptic functions and complete neural failure.'

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End of chapter 4! If you have reads this far; please, PLEASE review. Something. Anything. Don't make me beg pathetically... I tried to make it a lil mushier but this is never gonna be utter lovey doveyness so sorry for promising that initially! I've got an idea for a good Christmas fic which I'll start when I finish this one... in the meantime... please review or I'll be tempted to stop writing!