Being 'The Clone' Chapter 2: Part Two, a stargate: sg-1 fanfic

Being 'The Clone'

By Sam I Am – PG-13 (can't honestly be any more than that)

Warnings: Sam/Jack (that's a warning for anyone who don't like that)

Category: Sam/Jack Romance, Angst, friendship and a little bit of SG-1 Humour thrown in for good measure. (If there's anything I missed out someone tell me!)

Spoilers: Bits and Bobs from Seasons 1-8!

Time frame: Beginning of Season 8.

Archive: SJD, Yes!

Summary: Through the eyes of Colonel O'Neill... Life from a complicated perspective.

Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime / Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. No copyright infringement is intended. No money is being made. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. Not to be archived without permission. All snippets of lyrics have the singer and the song title! None of it is mine, but I'm just a very musical person and the lyrics always fit! No copyright intended! If you want to archive my story TELL ME, or, to borrow a phrase from our beloved Colonel, I am SO gonna kick your ass!

Author's Notes: This is going to be a novel, but I'll put it on piece by piece, while I finish off the gaps. Thanks for all your support, as per usual!

Dedications: To Hannah, my Best Pal/Editor, suffering the joys of High School with me. Year 11 ARGH! Love ya, Honey! And to all Sam/Jack shippers out there and those of you who hate Season 9!

What it's like... Being 'The Clone'!

Part Two

All around me are familiar faces, Worn out places, Worn out faces…

And I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad.

The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had.

I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take.

When people run in circles its a very very... Mad World. Mad World.

Mad World Gary Jules (condensed)

The President's face appeared on the screen sat before a microphone. His voice came through the speakers of the TV, "Citizens of America and people of this planet. Today, everything you know shall be altered. Everything you thought you knew about this planet will be changed forever. This is an official disclosure of information about a top-secret military operation known as the Stargate Programme."

Jack's jaw dropped as he exclaimed loudly, "Oh my God!"

Everyone looked at him and then back at the President as he began speaking again, "I am afraid I cannot tell you all the back history about the Stargate as I would be speaking for more than a day if I did. Instead, the leader of the Stargate Command, Major General George Hammond will inform you on the truth of the Stargate Programme."

The camera moved to the man sat beside the President and a huge grin came to Jack's face. He rummaged in his pocket and pulled out the official picture of SG-1 and General Hammond and showed it to Julian. The boy gawped at him before the pleasant Texan voice spoke, "Thank you, Mr President."

The second the first syllable left his lips the classroom was hushed in silent excitement.

General Hammond spoke, "I am General Hammond and I've been leader of the SGC... uh Stargate Command... for over eight years. When I was first given the job, I couldn't believe what I was hearing," he paused and smiled, "And after eight years I still can't."

A small, amused murmur swept through the class. He took a deep breath and then began, "What is the Stargate? I know that I'm not the most qualified person to explain this to you, but I'll try. The Stargate is an alien device that is used to travel great distances across the galaxy and visit other planets."

Everyone in the class gasped except Jack who was given funny looks by them all, even Mr. Thompson.

General Hammond's voice spoke as images of the Gate dialling up and a DHD appearing on screen. His voiceover calmly explained how a gate worked and stuff, as on screen, the wormhole exploded from the metal ring causing his classmates to let out cries and gasps of shock. Jack's eyes fell on Sgt. Davis and Sgt. Siler looking at the camera nervously as they tried to go about their business in the Control room. Jack laughed out loud as he muttered, "And they always said they wanted to be on TV!"

Mr. Thompson spoke, sounding concerned for Jack's mental stability, "Jack, what are you talking about?"

Jack held up a hand to silence him as General Hammond's face appeared back on the screen. He smiled as the man he missed dearly began to give the low down on pretty much everything about the SGC, including information on a book which would be released in the next few days which 'described precisely how the Stargate works written by none other than Samantha Carter, an Air Force Major and a Doctor of Astrophysics.'

Jack smile became a full-blown grin at the mention of Carter. Her book was going to be read by normal people and he couldn't help laughing. Everyone stared at him as if he'd lost his mind.

General Hammond smiled, "As for those of you who want to know more about the many weird and wonderful things that are out there in the universe another book will be published soon co-written by the flagship team, SG-1."

George carried on speaking, describing the basic general history of the Gate, when and where it was found on Earth, who really built and Jack listened almost with rapt attention although he knew it all as well as he knew the alphabet!

The General's face became serious, "Now, the reason the Stargate has become public is that we have finally defeated the greatest enemy known to Earth and in fact the universe. They are called the Goa'uld."

At the mention of this Jack couldn't believe what he was hearing. As the General continued, telling the world what exactly a Goa'uld was Jack sat stunned. The war was over? That... that was unbelievable! It was amazing! Jack felt like he could jump for joy, but as he was about to a familiar face appeared on screen and Jack felt a smile come across his face.

"The fact that the greatest enemy we have ever known can also be one of our greatest allies is hard to show... so a Tok'ra representative is here with me today. This is General Jacob Carter and the Tok'ra he carries, Selmac."

Jack couldn't help but grin at the man who came into view, looking extremely awkward and unsure to be on camera. The shot zoomed out as he shook hands with both the President and General Hammond before he took a seat beside them at the table, "My name is General Jacob Carter. I am host to the Tok'ra, Selmac. Selmac is one of the oldest and wisest of the Tok'ra. I first found out about the Stargate Project on my deathbed. At the time, Selmac's previous host was dying and she desperately needed a new host. My daughter and her team were being held on the Tok'ra home world and couldn't leave because they had discovered it. Another team went through to fetch my daughter as I was dying from an extremely advanced form of cancer. They were also imprisoned. My daughter suggested I become a host, as Selmac could heal me and I could be her host. The Tok'ra spent a long time debating the possibility before agreeing. I was told about the Stargate and many other things. I couldn't believe it. I thought I'd lost my mind," the class laughed softly, "But I soon found out I hadn't. I became host to Selmac and the Tok'ra/Earth alliance began. They are one of our greatest allies and have helped tremendously with defeating the Goa'uld."

Jacob Carter spoke quietly, "Now, Selmac wishes to speak." His head dipped and as Selmac began to speak. The children around him screamed in horror and shock as Jack just watched with nonchalance. The almost metallic voice of Selmac came out through the speakers, "I am Selmac of the Tok'ra. All I wish to say is that the Tok'ra have found valuable allies in the people of Earth and that we are eternally grateful to you. Although Jacob and I do not always agree on things, I believe I would be just in saying that neither do many married couples." Jack chuckled at Selmac's humour, as she was quite possibly the only Tok'ra Jack liked, "All the Tok'ra wish is that the Goa'uld are abolished and that innocent people trapped into slavery by them will be freed. The Tau'ri, people of Earth, have granted our wish. That is all I need to say."

Jacob's head dipped again, as he said, "Thank you."

The camera moved from him back to the President, "Thank you, Jacob. Now I would like to tell you about Earth's other allies..."

For the next hour or so, the President and General Hammond spoke about alien races, good and bad and Jack just sat in a state of pure disbelief that his time had come. Now he could finally find a way to at least see the people he cared about, perhaps find a way to give up this charade and work for the SGC again. Surely, this was his chance...

It was Hammond's mention of his team that caught Jack's attention suddenly...

"SG-1. I think the members of the SGC know that SG-1 is the heart of the facility. The only team to have saved the world and they've saved it so many times it's hard to count! Though many would say the members in the team are unorthodox, a good deal more would say that it doesn't matter because they are a team."

Hammond's expression became sad, "SG-1 could not be here today as they are attending a memorial service, but they shall be visiting public places all over the country to try and answer as many questions as they can, along with the other SG teams.

"First, I would like to tell you about one of your heroes who I have already mentioned. After discovering that the pyramids were actually spaceships and translating the finds at Giza, where the Stargate was discovered, this man travelled through the Stargate on the first mission to Abydos. This man has been with the SGC ever since and has been an irreplaceable member of SG-1. His linguistic and diplomatic skills along with his knowledge of history and myth have become extremely useful to the SGC. I would like you all to meet the archaeologist, who, though trying at times, is the most skilled, brave and intelligent of all others. Dr. Daniel Jackson."

The face of Jack's dear friend appeared on screen and he looked at Julian, who looked about to faint, "Didn't I tell you. You look just like my friend Daniel."

Julian looked at him confused as Mr. Davis spoke uncertainly, obviously wondering if he'd been possessed, "Jack, how do you know all this?"

Daniel began to speak and silence filled the room again. He was dressed in his SGC fatigues and was sat before the Stargate. He looked pale and had slight grey circles beneath his eyes and Jack guessed he'd stayed up late the night before translating one of his gadgets. He spoke in his 'Danielish' language, although with much less enthusiasm than usual for a reason Jack couldn't fathom, "I know that usually I talk too much and it annoys a lot of people. Now I can only think of one thing to say and that is that even though I'm now classed as a… hero, I'm just an average guy. I mean it could be any one of you sat here instead of me right now." He smiled, although it was forced, as he glanced at the camera then down at his hands, "uh... that's pretty much all I want to say actually... except maybe that although I'm not a hero, the SGC has had, and still does have, its fair share of true heroes... and dare I say that, I sometimes don't consider myself worthy of such admirable colleagues and loyal friends..."

The camera flicked back to General Hammond as Jack rolled his eyes at a couple of girls behind him whispering something along the lines of 'Oh my God! That guy was so cute!'

General Hammond spoke, "This man has often been treated as a very unusual member to be placed in the flagship team, but his bravery and knowledge of the Goa'uld have always been freely given to us. All he asked was that we helped free his people from their enslavers, the Goa'uld. Though he took a while to adjust to life on Earth, this Jaffa is now as much an Earthling as you or I. Teal'c."

An image of Teal'c sat in the seat Daniel had been sat in appeared on screen and he found Julian and a few other classmates staring at him, obviously having recognised the man from the small photo stuck on the inside of his locker.

Teal'c spoke in his usual straight to the point manner, "I wish to express my gratitude to my friends and comrades for accommodating me to your world. I have learnt much from these people and they have shown me great kindness and acceptance. To them I can never repay my debt. I especially wish to pay my respects to my friend and Commanding Officer, Colonel O'Neill. During my stay on this planet, he has been my brother and dearest companion. His confidence in me, even when all others failed to trust me, I shall never forget."

Jack had a horrible feeling, but brushed it aside as the General Hammond came on screen again and sighed softly before speaking again, "The next member of SG-1 is not a hero, but a heroine. This woman discovered how to operate the Stargate and went through the Stargate in 1998 on the second mission. Ever since, she has been an invaluable member of her team and the SGC. There doesn't seem to be a week that goes by when there isn't a situation in which we need her courage, intelligence and ability. I would like to introduce you to your heroine, Major Samantha Carter."

Jack choked as Sam's face appeared on screen and felt all breath literally punched out of him. She was so beautiful, but something about her didn't sit right. She wasn't smiling...

She was sat stiff as a board in her dress blues and her face was solemn. She looked tired and sad although didn't show it in her voice as she spoke, "I have been at the SGC a long time and I've seen so many strange things, but in all my time fighting to save this planet I never once saw it as anything more than a job. Now it's all over, at least the war with the Goa'uld is, I can't help thinking that I took my time here for granted. So many good men and women have died to save us, to save the universe..." The tears in her eyes clearly visible, "And I took some of them for granted." Her face cracked for a second and a hand rose to wipe her eyes as she whispered, "I'm sorry. Can you stop filming?"

General Hammond came back onto the screen, sympathy and slight anger in his eyes that anyone had seen that one second of footage, when Samantha Carter had cried. Why she had, Jack had no idea, but the TV crews should never have shown it.

Hammond spoke soberly, "Only one member of SG-1 is left for me to tell you about. My Second In Command. Though he may have had his faults, though he may have been rude, sarcastic and insubordinate and though he couldn't seem to stay out of trouble, he was the finest soldier I have ever met or ever will. He's been part of the SGC from the beginning and led the initial team through the gate in 1997. Once many of you have read the mission reports from the SGC, I think most of you will agree the strangest things happen to SG-1. I'm not even going to list the things that happen to them, but the one who seemed to get into and out of trouble the most was Colonel Jonathon 'Jack' O'Neill."

Everyone in the classroom gasped and stared at him as Jack realised something and whispered, "No. It can't be..."

"Unfortunately, Colonel O'Neill gave his life in order to save this world a few days ago," General Hammond paused as his voice had broken slightly when he spoke, "How he died, I haven't the heart to explain although the information will be made public soon so I don't need to."

George cleared his throat again, "This is footage of Colonel O'Neill taken by a film crew who came to the SGC to make a documentary that they could air when the time came. It will soon be aired and sold on video around the globe, but here is Colonel Jack O'Neill..."

Jack gave a small gasp of surreal pain and whispered, "I... I'm dead...!"

His old, worn face appeared on screen. He was sat in his green fatigues in a plain grey room of the SGC and was part way through the interview because he began speaking immediately as though having just been asked a question.

"After the other guys have spoken, I'm quite honestly all out of things to say, but there is one thing I think I need to clarify. OK, so I saved the world a few times, but I'm not a saint! I'm just your average guy! I watch Simpsons whenever I can, I drink beer, I have to eat and sleep just like every other person on the planet. I have arguments with my neighbours, I go to work every morning and I swear and curse when my alarm goes off at 6am on my day off! I eat Froot loops for breakfast and I feel happy, sad, angry and calm, though not in equal proportions! I don't want or expect to be treated any differently from anyone on this entire planet. What I'm trying to say, and am failing miserably in doing, is I didn't save the world for fame or fortune. I saved the world because it is my job. I saved the world because… I enjoy it."

An image of the reporter, a shortish man wearing a black suit and tie, appeared on the old TV screen as he spoke, "Enjoy it? No offence, Colonel, but how can anyone enjoy being placed in a situation where every day you might not live to see the end of it?"

The man chuckled softly in realisation with a smile Jack recognised as his own, "Hey, I dunno! You're the one who wants me to be honest!" He let out a sigh as he tried to answer the question, "I guess, I enjoy coming into work every morning to find that Apophis has come back from the dead for like the umpteenth time. I enjoy being captured by Jaffa and having to work out some amazing escape plan, (or more precisely watch Carter and Daniel work out an amazing escape plan!) I enjoy freeing another people from Goa'uld captivity. I enjoy walking onto a different planet like I'm just taking a stroll in the park. I enjoy stepping through that Gate."

The interviewer's voice came through the speakers, "What's it feel like to step through the Gate, Colonel?"

Jack gave a wry smile, "The feeling is indescribable, so I won't try and describe it, but that is why I've saved the world. You could ask all the personnel here at the SGC that you want and I speak for them when I say they'd agree. Saving the world... it's just what we do. Some may call us heroes and some of us are." The man's expression became sad, "All of you who are watching this documentary have probably already seen the tragic event that happened recently when a... a very special and important member of this facility was Killed in Action."

Jack took a deep breath feeling his heart pounding. Someone else had died? Who? Who was it?

The 'Real' Jack took a slow intake of breath, "Dr. Janet Erin Fraiser was shot whilst tending to a patient out in the field. She was the Chief Medical Officer and a good friend of mine and of everyone in the SGC. She saved my life more times than I can count and everyone in the SGC had owed their life to Janet at least once over. She was an amazing person and I'm honoured that I knew her for the short 7 years we'd been working together. Thanks, Janet." He smiled slightly, "Hope heaven is all it's cracked up to be!"

General Hammond came back on screen as he said, obviously moved, "I hope so too, Colonel."

Jack realised then he was standing up. Everyone watched him waiting for something to happen as it inevitably would. His breath caught in his throat as an image of Jack and Janet sat together in the Infirmary came on screen. They were smiling at some small joke that they'd just shared as Jack sat legs dangling off the edge of a bed and Janet stood holding her clipboard and glowing with her smile. He had the exact same photograph at home, except without the white writing with their date of birth to their date of death scanned beneath them both.

Mr. Thompson spoke anxiously, "Jack?"

He gagged feeling suddenly sick. Julian jumped up beside him placing a hand on his quivering back, as Jack shook him off. He couldn't breathe and felt as if he was frozen staring at the image on the screen... He had to get outside. He needed some fresh air. He finally let out short shuddery breath and just bolted from the room.

And I don't want the world to see me cos I don't think that they'd understand.
When everything's made to be broken I just want you to know who I am.

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming or the moment of truth in your lies.
When everything feels like the movies, Yeah, You bleed just to know you're alive!

Iris The Goo Goo Dolls

Jack ran and ran until he could no longer see due to the moisture that filled his eyes. He collapsed on the grassy picnic area outside in the ghostly still school grounds, the breeze rustling the trees and the sun sending streams of light through the leaves. He sat still and felt tears in his eyes.

No one had ever told him. No one had even contacted him. Janet was dead. He was dead.

Tears began to run from his eyes as he clung to his knees and let out a sob, "Oh Janet... I can't believe she's dead. Fraiser's dead..."

"Jack?"

Jack's eyes rose to Julian as the boy stood before him. Jack spoke, in an ordering tone that he hadn't used since he'd left his home, "Go back and watch the rest of the speech."

"It just finished."

Jack tried to swipe away his tears, but they continued to roll from his eyes silently, as he muttered angrily, "Damn hormones!"

Julian came and sat next to him, "Jack, how...? Why...?"

Jack let out a soft sigh, wondering how on Earth he could explain to this boy that his best friend was nothing more than a complete and utter fake, "Last year, I, Colonel Jack O'Neill, was cloned by our Allies, the Asguard."

"The Roswell aliens? Why?"

"It was a rebel called Loki. He wanted my DNA for something, but the Asguard had already placed a marker in my DNA to prevent a successful cloning. That's how I was born. I was supposed to be the same age as my 'Real' self and have all his memories and stuff. I was going to replace my real self for a few days while the Asguard probed my mind or whatever they wanted to do with my 'real' body, but because of the marker, I came back as a 15-year-old boy which raised the suspicions he'd been trying to avoid."

Julian looked at him trying to take it all in. He nodded, "So, the 'real' you..."

"...is now dead." Jack finished for him as another tear trailed from his dark eyes.

"And the woman, Janet Fraiser?"

Jack swiped at the tears angrily, "She was one of my best friends. She adopted a young girl I considered as my daughter and she's saved my life so many times. We were so close..." His voice trailed away before he said angrily, "And they never told me! They never told me she'd died! I didn't get to go to her funeral or comfort Cassie. I didn't even get to goddamn mourn her!"

Julian spoke with slight fear of Jack's unpredictable mood, "I'm so sorry."

Jack let out a painful sigh, "I just... I can't believe I'm never going to see any of them again. They're like my family and I could never see them again. I have all his memories and I am him. We both have the same opinions, the same feelings, the same beliefs... As far as I'm concerned I'm a 50 year old Air Force Colonel, whose favourite movie is the Wizard of Oz, who gets on better with dogs than people, who has a little problem with scientists and who goes to his cabin in Minnesota to fish in a lake with no fish in it!"

Julian spoke gently, "I wondered what was strange about you. I wondered why you were so smart, why you were so tough and secretive. I wondered why you never went out with any of the girls who asked you... Are you married or something?"

Jack shook his head, as yet more tears fell from his eyes, "I was once. And I had a son."

"Was? Had?"

Jack sighed and glanced at his young friend as he said his voice full of pain, "My son, Charlie, was 8 years old when he shot himself with my hand gun by mistake."

Julian began to babble and apologise, but Jack silenced him, "You couldn't have known and it was a long time ago. About 10 years ago now." Jack gave a small laugh, "My little boy would've been 19 this October. Older than me!" He let out a sad sigh and continued with his narrative, "After that me and my wife split. We'd loved each other once, but... it wasn't true love, if you know what I mean." Jack gave a small snort, "How could you? You're 15 years old! But you know what I mean in a way, right?"

Julian nodded, pushing his glasses up his nose, "So you didn't go out with any girls because..."

"It would be so weird and... sickening," Jack said with a shudder, before he sighed, "It doesn't help that I'm in love either..."

"With who? Was it Janet?"

Jack gave a small laugh, "No. Fraiser was a wonderful woman, although her love of needles was quite disturbing," the boy gave a small chuckle as Jack continued, "But she was like a sister to me..." Jack then gave a small gasp, "Oh shit! Daniel!"

"Daniel? What about him?"

Jack gritted his teeth slightly, "Poor Daniel." He looked up at Julian again realising he hadn't answered the boy's question, "Every woman Daniel has ever loved in any way has ended up dead or taken over by a Goa'uld or both. Janet was the one woman I thought he would marry and spend the rest of his life with, but... Oh God! Poor Daniel!"

"So, who is it you're in love with?"

Jack stood and noticed all the pupils leaving the building in a stampede, "Has school been cancelled for the rest of the day?"

Julian nodded, "Yeah, why?"

"Come with me and I'll show you."

She, who always seems so happy in a crowd whose eyes can be so private and so proud,
No one's allowed to see them when they cry.
She maybe the love that cannot hope to last; May come to me from shadows in the past
That I remember 'till the day I die.

She maybe the reason I survive; The why and wherefore I'm alive,

The one I care for through the rough and ready years .

Me, I'll take the laughter and her tears and make them all my souvenirs,
For where she goes I've got to be, The meaning of my life is She...

She Elvis Costello

Jack stepped into his house as Helen and Eddy rushed into the hallway, "Jack!"

Jack interrupted them before they started asking questions, "Helen, Eddy, this is not a good time. As you have probably worked out I'm a 50 year old man who happens to be trapped in the body of a 16 year old clone of his former self. It's a long and extremely complicated story and if you really want, I'll explain it to you later, but if you don't mind I need to speak to Julian and then I need some time to myself as I've just discovered the 'real' me is dead and that one of my friends has also been Killed in Action which no one from the Air Force thought of calling and telling me about. Thank you."

He hurried upstairs followed by Julian as his foster parents just stared after him in confusion and shock. He unlocked his bedroom door and ran inside followed by his friend.

He ducked under the bed and said as he pulled out the brown cardboard box, "This has everything that the 'Real' me gave me inside of it. Its stuff that's important to... us. Not the most important stuff, it's understandable that he'd keep that, but there is a lot in here."

He opened the lid as Julian looked at him for permission to look in their. Jack nodded gently as the boy began pulling out photos and things. He looked at the photo of Sara, Charlie and him, "Is this your ex-wife and son?"

Jack gave a small sigh, "Yeah. That was me, Sara and Charlie a year before he died."

Julian went back to rummaging through the box and then pulled out a pack of pictures, all of just one person...

"You loved her. Major Carter."

Jack smiled slightly as he lifted the beautiful picture from the boy's hands. Another group photo of SG-1. It was the day they'd all gone around to her house to help paint her living room. They were all stood covered in paint, the camera having been put on automatic. Jack's eyes roved over the people. Sam, Daniel, Teal'c, Cassie, Janet and him all grinning arms around each other. Sam was looking beautiful, smiling her wide smile showing she was inwardly crying with laughter.

Love... He'd never used that word when talking about Carter even though nothing could be closer to the truth. In all the time he'd loved that woman, he'd only said he loved her once, and so technically only one other person knew exactly how much he felt for Samantha... and she'd just taken that secret with her to the grave.

Jack felt a lump in his throat as he spoke, completely voicing his feelings about Samantha Carter for the first time since after that Zay'tarc incident, "Yeah. I loved her. I loved her a lot."

Julian watched him cautiously, "Why didn't you two get together?"

"How do you know we weren't together?"

Julian spoke, giving him his 'Danielish' expression that said 'Just-because-I'm-fifteen-doesn't-mean-I'm-stupid' as the boy spoke, "There are no photographs of you and her 'together' and you were both Air Force."

Jack grinned, "You remember my project on the Air Force then?"

"Oh yeah," Julian said with a small laugh, before it faded, "You said something about regulations?"

"She was under my command. We weren't allowed to have a relationship." Jack sighed with a bitter tone, "Soon the whole world will know our tragic love story, I won't bother telling you about all the occasions in which the way I loved her has been put on full show, but I will say... I would've died for her. I would've sold my soul, ripped out my heart... I would've done anything if it meant she could live."

"And now you're a 16 year old boy and she's a 35 year old woman."

Jack looked at Julian realising they had a level of understanding. It helped that Julian was on a very adult brain wave and so he and Jack seemed to be able to read each other's minds. It was almost as if Julian knew everything about him without knowing anything.

"She's actually 41. It was her birthday a few weeks ago."

The boy pulled a face of surprise, "41? Really? She looks so young!"

Jack gave a small smile, "Yeah. It's a natural beauty thing."

Julian looked at his watch, "Oh Dear! My Mom and Dad will wonder where I am. I better go."

Jack smiled, "Thanks Julian. You've been my only friend... well, since I had to leave my other friends and my whole life behind."

Julian seemed to burst with pride, "I can't believe my best friend is Jack O'Neill. The Jack O'Neill."

Jack chuckled softly, "Something to tell your grandkids."

Julian chuckled himself and then murmured, "I'll see you at school on Monday?"

"I'll call you," Jack said sounding uncertain.

The boy smiled and then left, Jack letting out a soft sigh. He walked to the door and locked it, not in the mood for interrogation from his foster parents. He lifted up a video and placed it in his TV/VCR. He watched the tape they'd recorded at Fraiser's 'Family' Christmas the last year he'd been with them. He watched Janet laughing and joking, giving all the male members of SG-1 kisses under the mistletoe, Daniel getting an extra long one, and Jack felt tears in his eyes again, as he chuckled at the small Doctor's shenanigans.

How could they have not told him? They'd ignored him and given him yet more heartache in his life without so much as realising it, not even remembering he existed. The feeling of betrayal froze his heart and the feeling of loss shattered it.

He'd never been able to tell her what she meant to him. Never told her how grateful he was to her for always being there for him at the most trying times during his stay at the SGC. Never told her how much he appreciated her. Never thanked her for keeping his illegal love secret. Never told her how much he'd loved her for everything she'd ever done for him.

On the TV, she sat on her couch hugging Cassie to her, a Christmas cracker paper crown the colour of gold on her head and smiling at the camera as she said in her bright voice, "Happy Christmas, Cassie. I know you've opened all your main presents, but this an extra little something from me, and with the help of the rest of these guys..."

The teenage girl took the present from the floor and unwrapped it as her mother watched on in anticipation. She pulled out a photo album. Cassie opened it and a massive grin came to her face. She hugged Janet tightly, "Oh Mom! It's great!" Cassie hurried opened it and showed it to the camera. Pictures of her and SG-1, pictures of her and Janet... lots of photographs. Cassie spoke, "Mom made me a photo album of my Family."

The way she said 'my family' made Jack take in a soft gasp of pain. They were his family too. A family who loved and cared for each other. A family who'd now lost two members. Jack felt grief for Janet and a sort of pain for the other him.

He stopped the tape and rewound it, pausing the tape so the image of Janet hugging her daughter close was on the small screen. A tear fell from his eyes at the image of his compassionate, loving friend, frozen in time on a tape that had been recorded to remember the good times, when all it was reminding Jack of was everyone he'd lost.

"I can't believe she's gone. I can't believe she's gone..." He half whispered/half cried as he stared at the image for a few more seconds before grabbing his pillow, hugging it to him, wishing with everything that made him up that it was that small, kindly Doctor, "I miss you, Janet. I miss you all," he let out a shuddery sob, "God, please say they come and find me! I don't want to be alone anymore."

Yet more Author's Notes: Part Three is coming soon! But while you're here, please review what I've written so far! Thanks for your ongoing support!

Sam x