I am grunting like a moose because I am happy. You all do love me! I KNEW this wasn't a bad idea. YAY! I win!
So. . . Gaz has not fallen into a spring. Yet. I'm not sure if I'll pursue that route, bu-u-ut. .
I'll keep y'all posted.
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One Half
Zim decided, while flying the Voot back to America, that he had best reprogram the Computer to recognize his new human bio-signature. He did this through a remote uplink. The last think he needed was to be kicked out of the house because of some stupid water.
GIR was dancing. For some reason, being a metal mongoose was making the little robot extremely happy. Really, the only thing different about GIR was that he had a tail and little ears. And looked mongoose-y. Which isn't a whole lot.
ZIM, on the other hand, looked quite a bit different. True, he looked like he does when disguised, but other than that, he had ears, a nose, five fingers, and eyebrows.
( AN: I know, Jhonen isn't big on drawing these, but I AM and it's my story, so there. I DEFY YOU, JHONEN VASQUEZ!)
And of course, Zim was frowning. Being the thing he hated most was making him very angry. He had furrowed eyebrows. Because he was angry. Grrrrrr. . .
He landed at his base, stowed the Voot away, and contemplated a way to get back to normal. "COMPUTER!" he bellowed, striding over to the Voot bay door.
"Oh. . . so that's why you wanted me to recognize some human bioscan." The computer didn't acknowledge Zim's intense frustration.
"Yes. Find out what is wrong!"
"Uh. . . okay. Can you give me anything else to go on, like a location or something?"
"Find what you can about cursed water!"
There were a few grunts from the computer, and a screen popped up in front of Zim. "Here. Jusenkyo. Anyone who falls in turns into whatever drowned and died in that spring. So. . . you fell into a spring that a human man fell into, thus making you. . . human. You do know that any cold water will make you human and hot water makes you Irken again, right?"
"Yes," Zim growled. After the excruciating pain of hot water, it had started raining, thus making Zim a human again.
"Okay." The computer was silent for a moment, then, "I better adjust the elevators. Being human makes you a lot taller."
Zim's eyebrows shot up. "Mmmmm!" Were he Irken, his antennae would have been standing on end. Apparently, it didn't occur to Zim that a.) due to less gravity on Earth than Irk, he had slowly been stretching over the last four years, and b.) being a human boy would make him average height of humans, therefore making him taller than usual. So, as compared to his show height of around 3 ½ feet, he was about 4 ½ feet as an Irken and 5 ½ feet as a human. Man, isn't science neat?
Anyway, the computer had also tapped the pipelines to get water and such into Zim's house. As a human, he would be needing these. Especially hot water, which the computer was getting right now.
A steamy spray shot onto Zim, returning him to Irken. He screamed and rolled around, trying to put out the burning.
GIR, now back to normal, saddened. "Awwwwwww. . ." he mumbled. "I wanted to be a mongoose. . ."
Zim almost demanded to know a permanent solution other than hot water, but thought of a better idea. What better a disguise than ACTUALLY being human?
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Dib, on the other hand was being put through hell. Gaz had pummeled him with water balloons and then forced him into a dress. If that wasn't bad enough, she was now dragging him into department stores and making him buy bras.
Dib knew that Gaz HATED every store except Video Outhouse, but he imagined the only reason she was doing this was because she was enjoying his pain more. And being in a revealing dress with no bra and being as. . . BIG as he was meant a lot of guys were staring at him. Which wasn't making Dib happy. At all.
The torture finally ended. Gaz shoved a Frilly Fantasies bag at him and marched out. Dib breathed a sigh of relief. At least she hadn't thought of dumping hot water on him. That would have been too much.
Once the siblings were back at home, Dib changed into his usual clothes and stared at his reflection. The girl in the mirror was pretty, no doubt. He just could not cope with the fact that it was HIS reflection. She had purple hair (like Gaz), with one very long lock of hair draped down one side of her face. The rest of her hair was pretty short, just barely covering her ears.
Dib took off his glasses. He didn't really need them, except for reading. As a girl, he definitely looked better. Long eyelashes framed brown eyes. He kinda looked like Tak. . . but less scary.
He shrugged and trudged off to the bathroom. A hot shower would be very nice.
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The next day, at Middle Skool (Dib's 14, remember) there was a hush as Zim strode into the room. He was normal. True, he claimed often enough that he was, but until now, he really had been everything but. He wasn't wearing that ridiculous pink and black get-up (although it pained him to trade in his beloved Invader Uniform for normal looking clothes.) His clothes resembled his uniform, in terms of style, but they weren't pink.
He sat down in his usual spot in front of Zita. She giggled. Normally, Zita made it known to everyone how much she disliked Zim. But today, he wasn't as weird. In fact, she thought he was pretty hot.
And so did most of the other girls.
Dib stared in shock.
Zim noticed their dreamy looks and recoiled in horror. These human females fancied him! He almost leapt onto his desk to begin a tirade, but then in a thunderclap of OOC logic, realized this might ruin his plan to blend in better. He grinned a little, then waved at the girls. They all squealed.
Dib twitched in pain. This was bad. He reached behind his back ( I don't know why. To stretch maybe) and felt his hand slip into some sort of pocket. He felt around and felt several wooden handles. Yes, my friends, Dib had found his pocket dimension. After some feeling around, Dib found a teakettle. One that was full of hot, steamy water.
In a flash he was looming over Zim, the spout of the kettle inches over the point of Zim's hair. Zim looked up and screamed. Because he no longer needed it, if splashed with hot water, the world would know he was an alien.
Almost reflexive, an arm sprung out of the pack and held a full water balloon over Dib's head, threatening to pop it. Zim now had the upper hand. "I can talk my way out of this, Dib. I always have. But how will YOU explain being a girl? You're already a weirdo," Zim hissed, daring Dib to complete spilling that water onto him.
Dib froze. Zim did have a talent for fooling everyone. He'd done it for several years, whether it was pinkeye, skin conditions, Halloween costumes, or wearing a wig because his only hair looked like antennae. The class was very gullible. Dib sighed heavily and withdrew. Zim had won this time.
Without warning, Bitters slithered in and began the class.
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And so chapter 3 ends. Thanks to all who reviewed. Eh… as for Zim being the object of affection here, in Ranma ½, Ranma develops this knack for attracting women and men. Why not Zim and Dib? After all, that's the BEST part of the curse—unwanted affection.
Oh yes, this is going many glorious places. I'm no Rumiko Takahashi or Jhonen Vasquez (who I defy!) but I can be pretty dern funny if I try.
Tak (who is now my Otaku Mascot and is sitting on my window) demands that you review. She's doing that little flashy-eye-thing. And glaring. You better obey her. She's evil.