Jack's Agenda Part Two

Notes: Back again with another chapter…I'll be churning them out because it's the end of term and we're getting hardly any homework! Huzzah! Feel excited, people, excited!

Major kudos again to Roy, who came up with the term para-dimensional radar completely at random! You're thinking like a Whovian Roy! Be afraid!

Jessie Wings: She's back! Glad you're so damn happy about it, although Crawdie thinks it's unhealthy…stuff him. I'm happy too, she's a nice character to write. Yes, the eye makeup wasn't strictly necessary, but it was so funny I had to have it in there! I love to make people laugh…you're not a cabbage? (blink) You must be a jellied eel then.

Interstella: It's going to get even more interesting, I promise you! OK, good idea, he'll be watching…just to make sure!

Tai: You get that feeling too? Man, I thought it was just me! Or, I arrive in the next dimension and THEN everyone leaves. I know, he does tend to blend in, but I really doubt he would in Ancient Egypt. In a leather jacket. Apart from the fact he'd be swelteringly hot, even with his different biology, he'd probably be carted off to the Pharaoh for looking so damn strange. Uhm…I'll answer some of your questions. Jack's looking for…read the chapter. Buffy quotes…they were funny. Peril…you betcha. Normal? No way.

Shangri-la-gypsy: Sadly, the rest of the chappies won't be in Egypt, it was just a set up location. But keep reading…the !Top secret location! will be just as good.

scary miss mary: Here we go!

Tear22: Yes, that will always stay in my mind as Stella's greatest achievement, albeit aided by Jack and Rose…and yes, technically it was Rose who put it on him…but Stella was part of it, so it's her achievement!

Thanks to all of my reviewers for returning to read the rest of Stella's escapades! Let's see if we can hook some more, right? It really infuriates me to see how many people read but don't review…I can tell that's irritating some of you as well. Please, if you're reading, at least leave a teensy little review, please? It'll make my day. Tell your friends! Eevee's back!

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"What ya doing?" said Stella in a sing-song voice. Jack's head jerked upwards and smashed against an open panel of the TARDIS. Stella giggled.

"You've recovered then," said Jack, also laughing, rubbing the sore spot on his head.

"The magic of sleep," explained Stella. "Where's the Doctor?"

"Right here," said the latter as he entered the control room. "OK then Jack, what've you been up to?"

"You're now the proud owner of a para-dimensional radar system!" said Jack, looking immensely pleased with his work. Stella helped him as he scrambled out from underneath the floor panel.

To Jack's dismay, the Doctor didn't look as happy.

"Go away Stella," said the Doctor, looking troubled.

"Oh that's nice."

"Just go." Stella stalked from the room, looking offended, but narrowly avoiding falling through the open panel.

"Jack, why para-dimensional?" asked the Doctor bluntly. "If we need to detect anything, bog standard radar does the trick."

"It's a fantastic gadget," said Jack, skimming around the question. "You can see any object anywhere from any time, so long as it was, is or will be stationary. You just click on the object and the time flashes up…when it was built and when it's destroyed. We can find anything with this, anything at all, as long as it doesn't move around too much. Things in orbit we can find—"

"Jack, what are you looking for?" Jack swallowed.

"You won't like it," he warned.

"Try me." Jack sighed and hesitated. When he did speak, it was in a very quiet voice.

"I want to find the headquarters of the Time Agents," he said. His voice got stronger. "To steal back what they stole from me."

"So, illegal?"

"Technically."

"They stole your memories," stated the Doctor. "You want them back. Sounds fair to me." Jack looked very surprised.

"It could be very dangerous," he said nervously.

"We're always in danger," said the Doctor, smiling slightly. "OK, I'll be frank. I can't say I'm very happy. In fact, I'm quite angry that you didn't discuss this with me before you made the upgrades." Jack flushed. "But I said I trusted you. You have my backing." The American beamed happily.

"If it'll make any difference, I can tell you why I want to do this now," he offered. "Dan Butler, a Time Agent. I met him in Egypt, and he told me which sector the HQ was in. So I knew where to start looking."

"He told you, just like that?" said the Doctor suspiciously.

"He was a friend."

"How drunk?"

"Not…very…" said Jack hesitantly. "Not as much as me and Stella."

"Oh that makes me feel so much better," said the Doctor, rolling his eyes, moving towards the door.

"Doctor?" He turned. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you. Didn't think you'd let me."

"Am I that bad?"

"Course not," said Jack grinning. "You're intelligent, handsome…"

"Flattery will get you nowhere, Captain Jack."

"That's not what Anthoni said. Flora quite liked it too, as did Rachel, Syta, Isis…" Jack trailed off, his eyes twinkling. The Doctor left the room.

……………………………………………………………………………………………

"I can't believe this," said Rose, as she stared at the blank screen. Jack put his hands on his hips indignantly. "Oh come on. A slide show?"

"You'll remember it better if it's illustrated," said Jack, getting out a pointer. Rose stifled a giggle. "First slide Stella." Stella gamely clicked the button that had been entrusted to her. She stood at the back of a smallish room that was crammed with fifteen or so chairs, the type with little American desks attached. A picture of a topless Jack flashed up on the screen, an arrow pointing to his head.

"A while back, I woke up one morning to find something was missing," Jack began.

"Your shirt?" asked Rose dryly.

"Two years worth of memories," said Jack, giving her a hard stare. "Stolen by my former colleagues. Naturally, I was unhappy with this, and spent a good few years ripping them off."

"Why didn't you just steal them back?" asked Stella from her position by the projector.

"I couldn't remember where HQ was, funnily enough," said Jack. "A whole Universe. I couldn't search it all. I needed a location. Which Dan Butler gave to me. Next slide."

An ugly space station type structure came into view.

"Ugh, who decorated that?" said Stella in disgust. Rose wrinkled her nose in agreement. The station was…pointy, Stella thought. Sludge coloured and pointy.

"That is a picture I just took of the HQ," Jack continued. "It's not a pretty place. And it's not small either."

"Oh great, we get to search a highly guarded Time Agent headquarters for…" The Doctor trailed off. "That's a point, what are we looking for? Even Time Agents don't keep memories on disks."

"But that's exactly what they do," said Jack incredulously. "They wipe people and keep it all on file. You didn't know?" The Doctor shrugged. "Pinch me someone, the great Doctor doesn't know something that a man with memory loss does."

"Oh shut it," he snapped. "I don't know everything."

"I feel quite faint," said Jack dramatically, putting a hand to his forehead. "Now he's admitting he doesn't know it all…what is the Universe coming to?"

"The point is, how did you know they kept it on disk?" said the Doctor. He looked cross. "If this is an educated guess…"

"Doctor, please. I spent a lot of time studying these people so I could rip them off. I know, OK?" said Jack. "In fact, the only thing I don't know is where the library will be," he mused.

"They have a library of peoples' memories?" said Rose looking disgusted. "That is just sick."

"The BBC have libraries of old shows, it's a bit like that," said the Doctor insensitively.

"Oh what, so now you're saying peoples' lives are in the same league as old episodes of Blue Peter?" demanded Rose.

"Can we please get back on track?" asked Jack plaintively. "We don't have time for you two to fall out."

"I wasn't falling out with her," said the Doctor stubbornly.

"And he started it—"

"What are you talking about!"

Jack watched helplessly as they broke into a childish fight about who had started it. Stella tried very hard not to laugh.

"Would you like me to show the next slide?" she asked, giggling slightly.

"Nah, let's just leave them to it," he said dejectedly. "It can wait."

The Doctor and Rose were too busy arguing to notice them leave. Both had risen from their seats a in anger.

"I don't understand you Doctor!" yelled Rose. "One minute you're saving the world, then the next you're talking about human memories and feelings as if they're worthless! Look what happened to Jack!"

"I didn't say that! And Jack's been fine…"

"You know what your problem is? You have no concept of sensitivity or tact when it comes to humans!"

"Yes I do!"

"No you don't! And I bet you've really hurt Jack's—" Rose paused and looked around. "They've gone."

"Why should they have stayed? To listen to us argue about how insensitive I am?" the Doctor said, raising an eyebrow. Rose sighed.

"You were insensitive," she said.

"Only by your standards," the Doctor persisted. "I'm not human Rose."

"Yeah," she said, looking awkward. "It just got on my nerves OK? You're always so…" Rose stopped herself from continuing the argument just in time. "Look, I haven't been sleeping very well. Can we chalk it down to tiredness please?"

"Why haven't you been sleeping?" asked the Doctor, moving closer to her and sliding into a seat.

"Oh, so now you're concerned?" asked Rose, folding her arms.

"Of course I am, you're my friend. One of my best friends," he said. "Which includes the TARDIS of course," he added hurriedly, glancing at the surrounding walls. "What's on your mind?" Rose leant against a desk and shrugged.

"Just…stuff," she said vaguely. "Like the Dalek and the child and the world blowing up. Normal stuff."

"Normal stuff? How come you never told me things were bothering you?" he demanded.

"Because nothing like that bothers you," said Rose softly. There was a silence.

"It does bother me, all the time," the Doctor admitted. "Especially seeing you get hurt or frightened." He took hold of her hands, brushing the gold ring he'd made for her with his thumb. "Because then I get frightened too." Rose grinned and hugged him.

"Thanks," she whispered into his jacket.

"No problem," he replied. They broke apart, feeling slightly foolish. The Doctor clapped his hands together. "Now to young Captain Jack."

"Oh God," said Rose. "More fun fun danger and no real plan. Must be Saturday."

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OK, things are starting to get moving…I think this fic might be longer than the original, purely because before we move to the action I want to establish some bonds between the characters. But, all going well, we should be just getting to the action at the end of the next chappie…possibly sooner! Just wait and see, ma petites chous!

Crawdie: You just assume they're all female. It should be petit(e)s chous.

Since when did you become master of all things French?

Crawdie: You do exaggerate Eevee.

Yeah whatever. By the way, I've got over a hundred hits for this story, and it really infuriates me! (Unless you've all liked the one chapter so much you reread it fifteen times). If you read, please review! You pay for every other form of entertainment…cinema, TV, radio, even the frickin circus! Reviews are payment! Pay up!

And now, for extra amusement, some quotes from Austin Powers in Goldmember. These are free.

Goldmember I'm from Holland. Isn't that vierd?

Dr. Evil I'm Dougie, I'm Dougie!

Goldmember I love gooooooold!

Dr. Evil Are those frickin' sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their frickin' heads!

Nigel Powers: There are two things in the world I can't stand: people who are intolerant of other people's cultures... and the Dutch.

Henchman Sailor: Approaches warily
Nigel Powers: Do you know who I am?
Henchman Sailor: Nods
Nigel Powers: Have you got any idea how many anonymous henchmen I've killed over the years?
Henchman Sailor: Nods again
Nigel Powers: I mean, look at you. You don't even have a name tag. You've got no chance. Why don't you just fall down?

Japanese Man 1: RUN! IT'S GODZILLA!
Japanese Man 2: It looks like Godzilla, but due to international copyright laws - it's not.
Japanese Man 1: STILL! WE SHOULD RUN LIKE IT IS GODZILLA!
Japanese Man 2: Though it isn't.
Japanese Man 2 Winks at Camera; both scream and run away

See ya on the flip side!