And here's Ch. 8! I'm hoping to get this one finished up soon, because (and look in my profile for proof), I have a lot of other story ideas that I wanna get into action. And look in the last part of my "Evils of Hippie Burger" fic for a question to all of y'all that I'd like for you to answer (if you haven't already.) But here's the new chapter, with more Bahamas and less New York!
REVIEWERS
TerraNova: Thanks. This chapter is mostly in the Bahamas, so not much Trixie or Spud will be seen.
hihihihihihii Wow, that's a mouthful. I'm glad someone liked the Michael Moore/Al Gore thing.
Lavenderpaw: If you see major crude humor from me, it may be a sign of the Apocalypse. Then I'll have to tell the pope to flee the Vatican. But thanks for the compliment! I hope this chapter's humorous as well.
DanMat6288: Don't worry, you're not a nerd. In reality, you could get many different images from those things. Like yours, for example. The thing that Spud saw just happened to be one of the darker/grosser things you could see. What did he see? I'll leave that up to you guys. Use your imagination. (Wasn't there a Barney song that talked about imagination? I could sing it for you...)
Orion101: Thanks for reminding me! I just realized that I had nothing with those three in the last couple of chapters. Will they be in this chapter? No. Next one? Probably.
KrazieShadowNinja: I hope that thing helped for your cousin. And I hope he hates Kevin Spacey now. :D Just tryin' to keep him off of me and your... boyfriend! HAH I SAID IT! WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT:)
coolgirlc: Thanks, coolgirlc's sister! Stay away from those men in white. I think one of them is cybertoy00, since I haven't seen him in a while. Oh, and tell your sister I'd love to help in her C2, but I don't think I will, because I don't know much about Teen Titans. But thanks anyway.
Joke of the day- Where do you find blond's obituaries? You answer!
Dragon in Paradise: Titles are Overrated
YFWE
What's This World Coming To?
Jake could not remember the last time he'd heard of anyone having a toga party. He knew those things had been 'in' earlier, as in when his parents were younger, but apparently No Worries' Restaurant and Lounge was attempting to try and put them back on the map.
"Gramps! Fu! Got a problem!", Jake told them when the two of them returned from... wherever they had been. They were already wearing their togas.
"What is it now, Jake?", asked Grandpa, who seemed annoyed, "You already made me miss the end of CNN's exclusive coverage of the disappearance of Michael Moore so we could get ice! What us your problem now?"
"Well... I don't really have a toga..."
"That is not our problem! You should have brought your own!"
"So you're sayin' that I was supposed to know that there was a toga party when it was just announced a few minutes ago? Why did you guys even pack togas?"
"We didn't", Fu laughed, "We went to the store!"
"They sell togas at the store? What's this world coming to?"
"No, no, no! Look!", Fu pointed out the window. There was a street vendor selling togas.
"What the hell? Well, I guess we ain't in America anymore..." Jake left the room to go down and buy one. Normally, he wouldn't go. But with a meeting with Victoria on the line... he just couldn't refuse!
The vendor was actually across the street from the hotel. But the aforementioned street was usually not busy, so hypothetically, it would be quite easy to cross... right? Well, think again.
First, a sudden onrush of cars stopped him from crossing the street. Hummers, Grand Caravans, Chevrolet Gios... you name it, it went by Jake. Second, he was about to cross when a native mistook him for the guy on the 'Body by Jake' infomercials and asked him for his autograph. He had no clue what happened there, as he had never even seen a 'Body by Jake'. But finally, as all diversions were past, he began to make his way across the now-not-busy street. But as fate would have it, a short cop siren sound went off behind him. "Shit", Jake slapped himself in the head, and stopped to wait for whoever it was.
A Bahamian cop car pulled up alongside him, and two officers that looked like natives- except for the fact that they were in cop uniforms- stared back at him.
Jake smiled sheepishly, "Er... is there a problem, officer?", came his question, a question that had been used so many other times as the best starting comment before you got a ticket from the cops. (So... who in here has ever got a ticket- raise your hands. ... Come on, I know Lavenderpaw's not the only one; raise 'em high! Terra! I see you tryin' to leave... get back here! I'm with the NYPD!
KrazieShadowNinja's cousin (also named Kevin): Are you feeling lucky today::bites YFWE in leg:
Me: OW! While I heal my wounds, I shall let Mr. T write for me! MR. T?
Mr. T: ... ... ... ...(I like the little dots)... ... ...
ALL YOU FOOLS ARE GONNA DIE IN SEVEN DAYS!
Me: Ok, I'm back. Did I miss anything? No, it doesn't look like it. Back to the story.)
"Excuse me, young man...", the officer nearest to Jake said (coincidentally, also the one in the driver's seat), "But do you know how fast you were going?"
"Um... I wasn't in a car, sir.", came Jake's reply.
The passenger seat officer then began to burst out laughing, "Hey! That's a good one, mon!" He slapped high fives with the other officer, "Calloway Police, huh!" They beat their hands on their chest in unison.
"Um...", Jake was confused, "I'm just gonna walk away now..."
"Hold on!", the driver seat police officer stopped him, "Okay, this is no joke now. We are stopping you for... JAYWALKING!"
"Huh?", Jake looked down at where he was standing. Yes, he was in the middle of the road. But... "I don't see a crosswalk anywhere..."
"Ah, but there is", the officer said matter-of-factly, "Yo, Victor, give me the binoculars."
"No problem, mon", he handed the main officer a pair of binoculars that had been in the glove department.
"Thanks", he looked through them, "Ah... there it is. Down by that telephone pole, y' see it?" He handed Jake the binoculars.
Jake looked through them... and saw the nearest telephone pole. However, there was no crosswalk. The next one... and still, nothing. The next... the next... the next... still nothing. Jake was about to give up looking- he was at least 1, 200 feet down the street- when he found it. It was actually down by No Worries', where the actual toga party would be held. He would have to go all the way down there, cross the street, come back up the street to the vendor, buy the toga, go back up the street, cross the street, and come back up. And by this time, it would likely be time to go to the party, giving him almost no time to change into his toga. He sighed. This really sucked. American-New York , for that matter- police were never this hard on jaywalkers!
Sulkily, Jake walked off the street to his proper side, and began on his journey (long as it was, it could be considered a journey) to get a toga. As soon as he was on the sidewalk, he looked back at the officers. They were now parked in front of the hotel, one second watching Jake intently, the other time, the driving officer was watching Victor reach into his pocket and pull out a packet of... something white and powdery. "Yo, Vic. I know you're a cop n' all, but... that doesn't mean I c'n let ya smoke somethin' illegal. Where'd ya get that, anyway?"
"I, uh... some guy dressed like a moose gave it to me."
(End)
I Love Having Rent-a-Center as a Sponsor
Rose stumbled into her parent's hotel room, and she saw her mom standing there, looking at her. Rose, looking around, couldn't see her dad anywhere.
"Rose. What's wrong?. Did something happen last night? We didn't hear from you at all."
Rose struggled to find some words, "Uh... well, I guess something DID happen, yesterday afternoon."
"Yeah? What is it?"
"You know the dragon? The American Dragon? The one that me and the Huntsmaster are after in New York?"
"Yes, I think you mentioned it before."
"Yeah, well... he's here. The dragon is here."
"It is? Well, if you ask me, I think it's stalking you, honey."
"Stalking me? Well, I guess it makes sense..." She turned back toward the door, "I'm gonna go out and find him. I want this to be our last encounter."
(End)
Blond Jokes Are Always Funny
It took him a while, but finally, Jake was able to make it to the toga vendor. On the way, he had been thinking- about Huntsgirl. Why was she here? It was almost like Jake was numero uno on her hitlist. Like she was stalking him...
But so he finally got there. He stood back, so he could look at the prices and then he would go up and choose his toga. But there was a problem. (Isn't there always?)
"I don't have any money!", he grabbed his hair in frustration. He had forgotten his money in his rush to leave. Now he would have to go back to the hotel.
That would mean going all the way back up the street again. Which is something he would've had to do anyway. But now he would have to make two extra trips after that.
Jake looked over at the parking spot where the cops had been. They were still there. The driver's seat officer was still staring at him. Once he saw Jake looking over there, he smiled and waved. He was mocking Jake, almost daring him to try and cross the street.
"Oh... that's it", Jake said intently, "Time to fly." He left the vendor, and turned down the next street. There, he found a small alley, and yelled, "DRAGON UP!" Becoming the American Dragon, he flew straight up and above the rooftops. All he would have to do was get across the street without the police seeing him, and he'd be fine. Why hadn't he thought of this before?
He brought himself to the edge of the building. Looking down, he could see the toga vendor. And right across the street, of course, was the Holiday Inn. Also straight across was the cop car, which had its radio blaring "Incomplete" by the BackStreet Boys. Good, they were distracted. This could be his chance to go across. He readied himself, and...
"HIIYAH!", came that all-too-familiar battle cry. Jake was knocked off his feet and scraped along the roof before flipping over just before he slid off the roof. He beat his wings quickly and flew back at his attacker. He returned the favor, slamming into her. "Yo, Huntsgirl. Wish I could stay here an' chat, but I've got a party to go to, so... see ya." He turned back toward the hotel.
"Dragon, you are not gonna get away that easy", she replied, and held up her staff-like weapon, pointing it at him, "Today, I end this." She began to power it up.
"Girl, I got somethin' to say. If you're gonna power that up, do it BEFORE you corner me." He flew up and out of harm's way, before doing a Superman dive right onto Huntsgirl.
"Gah!", Rose clutched at her head after she was dealt such a huge blow to the head. That was gonna hurt for a few days. "Now I'm gonna have a headache the rest of my vacation! Now you'll pay." She threw her weapon aside, and took a ready stance.
"Hold on", Jake stopped her.
"What? What do you want now?"
"We fought on the roof last time! Let's take it somewhere else!"
"Well, I suppose we could..."
"Okay, then. And I'll leave you with one parting message."
"What's that?"
Jake snickered, "Did ya hear about the blond who that nitrates were cheaper than day rates?" He flew of the side of the building, still laughing.
"Nitrates? I don't get it...", Huntsgirl then reached back and grabbed her... blond... hair. "Ooh... He's gonna get it now..."
(End)
A Short Visit With Spud
Spud groggily woke up. He had no clue what time it was. He brought his wrist up to his eyes, to see his watch, but it wasn't there. While at that, he noticed his shirt wasn't on, either. Confused, he quickly jumped up, searching himself. All he had on was his underwear. And he was surrounded by dirt. He was in a large hole. Staring up, he saw a man looking at him from over the edge of the hole. The man had a brown jumpsuit on- like Moose Man's- without the mask. "Hello", he said, putting a bottle of lotion into a basket...
(End. God I'm so weird.)
Back to the Blondes
Jake was now behind the building that he and Rose had just confronted at. And now, here she came. Madder than Michael Jackson at a girls' sleepover.
"Hey, there y' are, babe", said Jake, "Where've ya been?"
"Can it, dragon. I took much offense to that blond joke."
"Did ya? I didn't even think you'd even understand it!", Jake flew back, further away from Huntsgirl, "Got another one for ya. Where do you look for blond's obituaries?"
Huntsgirl sighed, "Where? The comics?"
"Why would death be funny? Under 'Home Improvements'!" Jake, happy with himself, flew inside the building.
"Whatever it takes... I'm gonna kill... that... dragon", Huntsgirl followed him inside.
They were inside an apartment complex. Huntsgirl looked back and forth down a hallway, unable to see him. "Hey!", an elevator in front of her opened, and there was Jake inside, "Why don't blonds have elevator jobs?" The elevator closed. "Gr...", Huntsgirl growled, and ran over to the stairs. She took them up to the third (and highest) floor. And once she was up there, she saw Jake there waiting for her, "They don't know the route!" Laughing out loud (a new verb- 'LOLing'. Like it:) ), Jake leapt out of an open window (thank God it was large enough). Huntsgirl, getting madder and madder all the while, leapt out after him. But when she landed on the ground outside, there was no one there. Just two cops parked nearby paying no attention to her, singing 'Lonely', by Akon.
"Lookin' for me?", Jake waved from another open window- the one right underneath the window they'd just jumped from.
"How'd you..."
"Yo Barbie! What do you get when a lot of blonds to stand side by side? A windtunnel!"
"I'm gonna kill 'im, I'm gonna kill 'im", Huntsgirl muttered to herself repeatedly. She went back inside.
Following this, Jake leapt out the window. "Man, is she really that dumb?" he asked no one in particular, and waited for her figure to appear at the window again.
And again, there she was. On the second floor. "Heyyyyyy Huntsgirl! Over here!", he laughed. He was really, really enjoying this. She leaned out the window, her face in a snarl. "Is Vanna White your hero?"
Huntsgirl did not answer. She was glaring at Jake.
"Well, I heard it through the grapevine that she was, 'cause... I heard it's every blond's ambition to learn the alphabet!"
This time, Huntsgirl/Rose didn't leap out the window after him. She merely turned around and walked away. Until she could no longer be seen.
Jake was rolling around on the ground in laughter, reverting back to human form in the process. "Uh...", someone said above Jake. He opened his eyes and looked up. There stood Fu Dog. "Hey, Fu! What up, dawg?", he continued to laugh.
"You're not up, I know that. We were going to head on over to the toga party. Where's your toga?"
"Oh, yeah. Haven't bought it. Actually, I don't have any money", Jake said, "Could ya lend me some, Fu? I'll pay you back..."
"Whatever", Fu handed him a couple bills, "Just hurry up. What were you doing out here anyway?"
"Aw man, Fu. You shoulda seen it! Huntsgirl showed up, and I started lettin' the blond jokes fly, and she left like a sad puppy with her tail between her legs! What!" He struck a pose.
But Fu didn't seem to be amused. Actually, he appeared to be fearing for his life, "No! You didn't use them, did you?"
"I did. So what?"
"You don't understand! You don't tell blonds blond jokes, especially if they actually get them. Blonds are extremely vengeful and never forget a grudge!"
"Huh?" Jake looked around. No Huntsgirl. Then suddenly...
BAM! A portion of the building's wall blew out, and out came Huntsgirl, running up a storm, with vengefulness in her eyes. "Shit! Run!", Jake yelled. He and Fu did turn to run, Jake quickly becoming a dragon as they did. She hadn't seen him in human form... had she?
"Yah!", she never got a chance to catch them, because seemingly out of nowhere, Grandpa dropped on top of her in dragon form. She was captured.
"Ah, ah, let me go, dragon! I said, let me go!", she struggled and twisted in Grandpa's arms.
"Should we?", Grandpa asked them.
"We could...", Jake said, "As long as she agrees to go back to New York and to stop stalking me!"
"Me? Stalking you? Oh, dragon boy, I think you've got it all wrong. YOU'RE the one who's stalking ME!"
"Oh, sure. And why would I wanna stalk you?"
"Why would I wanna stalk you?", her voice was rising.
"I KNOW YOU ARE BUT WHAT AM IIIIIII?", Jake whined, "Grandpa, she's being mean..."
"Shut it. Both of you", Grandpa loosened his grip on her, "Now, will you leave quietly", he asked Huntsgirl.
"Gladly. I feel as if my IQ is dropping every minute I'm with you dragons", she began to run away.
"I know you are but what am I?", Jake called after her.
"Oh, grow up, dragon boy."
END CHAPTER
Ok, there it is! I hope everyone liked it. And now, for an important message from YFWE:
Alright. I don't know if some of you noticed, but... I have a few new fics. I even broke out of my ADJL shell and went and attempted another fic (Golfing in the Streets, an X-Men:Evolution fic. If you wanna read it, I'd suggest accessing it from my profile, since it's hard to find.) So I've been really busy. And I will continue to be. I just have a question for you. It's more of a poll, actually. I originally posted it in my "Evils of Hippie Burger" fic, but only two have voted. So, since I know a whole lot more people read this one, I thought I'd ask you guys. You can answer in your reviews. Ok, here it goes.
What would you guys like for me to do...
1. Finish this fic first and then update "Ordinary", "Stuck in a Moment You Can't Get Out Of", and the "Hippie Burger" fic simultaneously.
2. Finish DIP and then finish those fics in a certain order. (You pick the order).
3. Update all four fics simultaneously. Also tell the order you'd want me to update in. (This one is currently winning)
4. Other.
At the moment, 3 is winning 2-0-0-0. Please vote! I need your feedback! And please read all of them. As well as my XmenEvo fic. I would really, really, really, really appreciate it (So would Mr. T) Ok, thanks for reading. I leave you with this thought- next year, I will be putting up a new fic called:
"Dragon in Paradise: Part Deux."
I am currently thinking of what I could do on that one. It won't come until next year, although a preview could come before year's end. Since DIP is my most popular fic ever, it's something I'd like to do. Please don't give any ideas for it yet, but I can tell you that It may possibly be set all over the US- a road trip:) See ya!
YFWE