Ranma company belong to the brilliant Rumiko Takahashi, but the poor fare below is mine. CC welcome. First fanfic warning applies. This is the second to the last chapter in Rekindling. Here goes ...
Words in (italics) are thoughts. Entire paragraphs in italics are usually flashbacks.
REKINDLING A FLAME
by: Skywatch
PART FIVE: ASHES
The whirlwind did not toss them into the dojo, as Akane had feared. At the last second, it veered towards the koi pond and dangerously close to the house. With the last of her remaining strength, Akane wrenched herself and Ryouga free from the tail of the twister.
An errant wind caught them just as the last of the whirlwind slammed into the side of the house, scraping part of a wall away. Akane thankfully took advantage of the wayward current of air to cushion their fall. That and the last of her shield protected her, and a by-now-unconscious Ryouga, from more serious injury.
Ranma got to the house just in time to see Akane tenderly setting Ryouga down on the ground. All the fight went out of him as he watched his wife cradle Ryouga's battered form. It was over. Akane had chosen, and it wasn't him. (I've lost.) In a fight that had meant just about everything.
Akane sensed Ranma's presence behind her just as she finished putting a makeshift pillow (a folded sheet that had blown in from someone's laundry line) under Ryouga's head.
She shut her eyes. She was ill-prepared for this confrontation. Now that the urgency was gone, the effects of fighting the chi-driven tornado were setting in. Akane was bone-tired and lightheaded from her battle with the winds.
That didn't change the fact that it was time to end this. She hadn't expected Ranma to take the duel so far; she couldn't let Ryouga get hurt. Unsteadily, she got to her feet. But when she turned to face her husband, she showed none of the weakness she felt. He only saw the strange mix of determination and fear in her eyes.
Akane stepped towards him. (He deserves the truth.) "It's not what you think, Ranma." She swallowed. "There are things you should know."
And so Akane, after nearly a year of subterfuge, finally, haltingly, told Ranma the truth. And watched in grief as it destroyed all of the trust between them.
Akane skidded into a low crouch. The small explosive packs thrown by her opponent sailed over her head and exploded harmlessly behind her.
"You've gotten better," her rival said almost approvingly. "Good! This is going to be interesting."
"It doesn't have to be like this," Akane entreated even as she assumed a defensive stance. "We don't have to fight. Ranma and I made a decision. You could respect that. Of all people, I thought you might."
Ukyou laughed and drew out her battle spatula. "Think again, sugar. Maybe if you fought fair, but you didn't. He lives with you, gets your dojo if he marries you, goes to the same college, and both his parents recognize your claim. You had all the advantages, Akane."
"Riiight." Akane rolled her eyes; she couldn't help it. "We were foisted on each other, nearly killed each other, and got thrown into all sorts of situations where other people tried to kill us. And I'm sorry, Ukyou, but if Ranma threw half the insults he regularly uses on me your way, you'd probably hit him harder than I ever did."
"Then why get married!" Ukyou nearly screamed the question. Her grip on her battle spatula was bone-knuckle white.
Akane sensed that the okinomiyaki chef was on the verge of either breaking into tears or launching another attack. She tried to marshal her thoughts. She really didn't want to fight Ukyou. "Because -"
"Because I love her."
Ranma seemed to materialize from out of nowhere. Before either girl could move, he was between them. He didn't even assume a fighting stance. He just stood in front of Akane, head bent, eyes flitting between the ground and his best friend, a picture of abject contrition. "I'm sorry, Ucchan, but if there's anyone you should beat up, it's me. My family owes you. I owe you. But Akane never did anything to deserve this."
"She stole you from me!" Ukyo accused.
That seemed to touch a nerve. Ranma's eyes jerked up and held hers. "I was never yours."
"Ranma." There was a mild reproach in the way Akane murmured his name. (Careful, this girl's hurting.)
"I'm sorry," Ranma said more softly, but firmly, "but it's true. I was never Shampoo's, Kodachi's, my dad's or anyone else who wanted to own me. I'm my own person, and I will always be. I'm sorry," he repeated, "but there were times you forgot that, too."
His charge, the truth of it, stung Ukyou so badly that her eyes began to blur with near-tears. But she didn't let go of her weapon. "And Akane? Is she so perfect?"
Ranma nearly laughed, would've if the situation weren't so serious. "Far from it. Akane is the same way, which is why this whole arranged engagement was so hard for us. There was no advantage, Ucchan. If they'd had a little sense, our fathers would've realized that forcing us was the worst possible thing they could've done. Akane tried to push me away. I did the same thing. It was hard, and somewhere along the way we almost died." For the first time since he'd come, Ranma glanced at the short-haired girl who had inched forward and by now was nearly beside him.
"Akane," he continued, and this time he seemed to addressing her as much as the okinomiyaki chef, "is proud and stubborn. If I had gone with you, she wouldn't have come after me, tried to stop me ..." his piercing gaze swung back "... or do what you're doing now, Ukyou."
Not Ucchan. Ukyou. Maybe it was a mere slip of the tongue, but that one utterance spoke volumes to the okinomiyaki chef about how Ranma felt right now. About her ambush of Akane. About her. The battle spatula dropped from Ukyou's nerveless hands. Unable to say another word, she whirled around and fled, tears spilling down her cheeks.
"Ucchan!" Ranma called after his friend, all concern now. He started to go after her.
"Wait, Ranma." Akane looked down and carefully, respectfully, picked up Ukyou's spatula. "Maybe you should give her some space. She needs it, I think. I ... know in her place I would."
"I should've gotten to her, talked to her sooner!" Ranma berated himself. "I tried to find her as soon as we got back, but the news spread so fast."
Akane couldn't think of anything to say that would make him feel better, so she didn't. She took his hand and squeezed it lightly with her free one to let him know that she sympathized. To tell the truth, Ukyou's actions had hurt her, too. It smarted to know that in a choice between the friendship that had developed between them since high school and one last desperate chance to claim Ranma, Ukyou had chosen another chance at Ranma, no matter how doubtful.
Akane wondered if that would ever change. She handed the spatula to Ranma, and they began walking together, heading home.
After a few seconds, Ranma asked, "Did she ...?"
"Not really. I don't think her heart was in it." Akane glanced at him uncertainly. "That was the first time I heard you talk like that."
Ranma gave a little embarrassed shrug. "I thought about what I would say to her. It didn't go the way I planned. I wish I hadn't said some of that stuff, but seeing her pull that spatula on you ... I dunno, it just burned me."
"Did you, um, mean it?" This time it was Akane's turn to look embarrassed.
Ranma stopped in his tracks and stared at her incredulously. "Of course! I just proposed to you a couple of days ago. Did you forget already?" he huffed.
"Not that!" Akane felt herself coloring. "The other stuff. I mean, it seemed important to you that I wouldn't do what Uk- what the others did."
"Oh." Ranma began walking again. When he thought about it, there was one day in particular that stuck out in his mind. It was the day he was in a girl-crazy daze from the old freak's aphrodisiac bandage, and Ukyo and Shampoo had fought for the right to, what exactly? Trick him into signing a marriage certificate. Then Akane had come along, butting into the fight as usual, and he would never forget what she'd said. "But that's so pointless!" she'd cried. "What about how Ranma feels?"
Akane was the only who had ever asked.
'No,' he thought, 'Akane would never take advantage of me.' It wasn't in her. Maybe it was her form of honor. Shyly, he reached for her hand. "Yeah, it is. I trust you, 'Kane." And he grinned as she smiled.
The ghost of that day hovered over them now.
In a voice that wasn't quite steady, Akane told Ranma everything. The words spilled out in a nervous torrent that roughly outlined what she had been doing for a year. In her hurry she was leaving a lot of things out, but once more she felt like she had little choice.
As the flurry of words hit him, Ranma's expression went from disbelief to chagrin to indignation and then to something that Akane had been dreading, but had been expecting.
Fury. Absolute and unforgiving.
Tentatively, she reached out and touched his forearm, instinctively noting how rigidly tense he held himself, how tightly the corded muscles stood out.
"Ranma, I'm sorry."
He jerked away from her. For the first time, he realized he felt nothing at her touch - not embarrassment, not desire, not even affection. What Akane had done, the coldblooded, everyday cruelty of it, had taken everything Ranma had thought true about their relationship and ripped it to shreds.
"You ... you tricked me," he said thickly. "I was ready to hurt him," he continued, his voice rising to match the great anger that washed over him. He had been willing to fight all-out for a lie. He had resorted to methods that were distasteful and degrading for the chance to win.
"You used me, used our friends, put me through the worst HELL for almost a year! WHY?" he demanded. "So you could have your gravity-defying husband back, your Heir to the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts! I would've expected this from Nabiki, but you - !"
He broke off, his voice shaking with rage. "Well, guess what, Akane? I'm back, but I don't want you anywhere near me. I don't care how it's done, but everything between us is over!"
"You're back," she repeated in a whisper, as if it should mean something. "Ranma -"
But he was deaf to the plea in her voice. "Keep away from me," he demanded coldly. "I'm warning you, Akane." His fist coiled and for the first time in the nine years since they'd met he looked like he was going to hit her for real, with the kind of blow he reserved only for his enemies. "Everything between us is over. I don't trust you. I don't want anything to do with you!"
In five bounds, he was over a wall and away.
Akane sank to the ground. "Hai, I ... understand."
And she did. She had betrayed him in the worst possible way. Ranma, so careful, so self-contained, had slowly opened himself up to her over the years. And she had used that precious knowledge to manipulate him. Ranma would find it unforgivable.
If only the need hadn't been so dire, and the time given to her so short. (I should've found another way!) To be fair, she had tried. But with his death wish hanging over her head, she simply hadn't been able to think of anything else that would work in time.
(From the beginning I knew this would happen. I guess I do finally understand him.) This was the other thing she had feared all along, the price she had to pay: Ranma was gone from her forever.
But he was alive, and she had fulfilled her oath.
"I'm sorry, Ranma." She bent her head, but the tears wouldn't come. This was a sorrow too deep for tears. It numbed her mind.
After awhile, she picked herself up to tend to Ryouga.
When Ranma came back two days later, she was gone. He watched the house for awhile to make sure, but everything was quiet. From the outside, it was as if nothing had happened.
It was a relief. He had been ready to bust in, grab his things and leave without so much as a word to her, but this made it easier. Now he could take his time, decide what to leave and what to take with him. He might even stay for a few days, make arrangements for the dojo's students until everything was settled. He supposed she would eventually continue the classes. After all, she had already taken over the classes after the accident.
But if she did return, he'd be out as fast as he could. Maybe he'd crash at the clinic for another couple of days ...
Doctor Tofu looked pleased as he examined the latest x-rays of his most interesting patient. It was truly remarkable, practically a miracle. Ranma was a very lucky man.
So he smiled at the familiar redhead who burst in. Until he noticed the disheveled appearance and the bruises. "Ranma, what in the world -?"
"Did you know?" the pigtailed girl demanded.
"What happened?" Tofu got to his feet in alarm. He knew the signs of a scrap; he just couldn't believe it. Surely even Ranma wouldn't be so foolish as to fight in his condition?
"DID YOU KNOW!" The shout reverberated in the small room.
"Know what?" Tofu asked a bit impatiently. It was starting to sink in that yes, with Ranma, it was highly possible.
"About Akane! About what she's been doing!" Ranma spluttered.
The doctor looked at his patient calmly. "Tell me about it."
So Ranma did. Talking about it drained him. Afterwards, he was almost pliant when Tofu-sama pointed him to a hot shower, and gave him some spare clothes that Tofu kept around for his gender-changing patients (the clinic was a favorite stopover for hot water).
Afterwards, Tofu served tea and some food. To Ranma's own surprise, he finished it all. About Akane, Tofu only said, "I see. That explains a lot of things," and muttered something about needing to talk to Kasumi.
When the phone rang, and Tofu told him he needed to make a house call, Ranma asked, "Ryouga?"
Tofu nodded. "He's conscious and insisting that he's alright, but Akane wants to be sure."
"Don't take this the wrong way, doc, but I don't want to know," Ranma said evenly. He was relieved that Ryouga was okay, but right now he didn't even want to hear that other name. "I guess I'll be going."
The older man looked surprised. "Why? If it's as Ryouga says, then I won't need to bring him in. Even if I do, there's no need for you to see him. There's a spare room right now, if you're interested. As your doctor, I strongly advise you to rest. Spend a few nights here if you need to."
"I'd rather n-"
"Ranma." There was a firm edge to Tofu's voice, something that Ranma hadn't heard before. "I don't know what foolishness led to this, but I want to make sure it doesn't result in anything permanent. We worked hard to get you this far. The last thing I want is for you to aggravate some unseen injury. I would appreciate it if you stayed at least overnight."
The thought of a nice clean bed was not unappealing. Besides, even Ranma didn't want Tofu annoyed at him. The pigtailed youth shrugged. "Alright."
(Well I guess she's really not here.) With the relief was a tinge of disappointment that Ranma quickly squelched. (Now where did I put that key?) Preoccupied, the pigtailed martial artist almost didn't notice the heavily tinted black car that entered the street ... until it sped up and swerved to hit him.
There was nowhere to go to, nothing to duck behind. Nerima had narrow streets that barely accommodated cars at all. As the vehicle picked up speed and careened towards him, Ranma instinctively did the only thing that would get him out of the way in time. He leapt high, tucking his legs so they wouldn't snag the rushing car's roof.
A few seconds later he landed safely on the road, short of breath.
Behind him, the car screeched to a halt at the end of the street. Ranma whirled around and watched it closely. He wanted to be ready if the driver decided to reverse.
Instead, rear lights flickered on and off as the driver applied the parking brake and switched the engine off. The door on the driver's side swung open. Shapely legs in skirt and heels appeared.
Ranma's eyes narrowed as the driver emerged. "Nabiki, what the hell do you think you're doing!" Anyone else, he would've beaten up immediately for that stunt, but this girl he owed. It was Nabiki who had insisted that he and Akane be insured. And although it was sweet, maternal Kasumi who had come to the hospital everyday to help them out in the first weeks of the accident, it was the practical sister who had taken care of the initial financial and health care arrangements. Akane at the time had been too distraught to handle them.
Nabiki acted as if she hadn't just tried to run him over. She coolly looked him up and down from behind a pair of dark sunglasses. "I guess it's true then, you do have your abilities back."
"Surprised?" Ranma grated, not really believing it. Nabiki had been in and out of the country for most of the year on a series of business trips, but that didn't mean she hadn't been in on Akane's scheme.
"Actually, I am. I wouldn't have bet on it last winter. I suppose I really should be impressed." In spite of the cold, the older girl was the picture of nonchalance in her tailored business suit and fall coat. She leaned into her car, pulled out a thin folder and shut the door. "You look a little peaked, Saotome. What's the matter, lose a fight?"
"I never lose," Ranma muttered automatically.
"Funny, that's what Akane said, too."
(So she is in on it.) Not that it surprised Ranma. Nabiki always had her fingers in everything. "Just what is this about, Tendo? Lost a bet? Did you back the wrong guy?" he sneered.
She didn't rise to his bait. "Moi? Unlike some people, I learn from my mistakes. I haven't backed Ryouga against you since that first fight. I haven't bet against you in years, Saotome."
"I'm flattered," Ranma stated indifferently. "Now if you don't mind, I have things to do."
Nabiki shrugged. "Suit yourself. Personally, I'd rather not do this at all. But Akane wanted this done fast, and in this family paperwork means you have to deal with me."
Ranma glanced at the folder in her hand. "Divorce papers?" (So soon? But ...) Had Akane been planning to divorce him all along?
Was it his imagination or did Nabiki stiffen? "Not even I can work that fast," she replied laconically enough. "We'll get to those soon enough. No, these are the papers transferring the dojo to you."
It was the last thing he expected. "The ... what?"
"The dojo," Nabiki repeated impatiently. "Should I spell it out? Akane has convinced our father to cede the house and the dojo to you. For a time, of course, not permanently. The rest of the family agreed." Except for me, she might as well have added. Her displeasure was obvious.
He didn't like the idea much, either. "I don't want it," he said flatly. "I never wanted it, not even when we were fiancées." It was true. Ranma lived for the Art, and he never thought he needed a training hall to practice it. It was good to have one, sure, but not at the price their fathers had been demanding. (At least, not until Akane and I were willing to - but that's all in the past now.) Besides, to be the master of the Musabetsu Kakutou – that was for him, but in his mind the dojo would always be Akane's. "I don't want anything from her."
Nabiki didn't react to his statement right away. She took off her sunglasses, folded it carefully and slipped it into a coat pocket, and then, "I guess Akane was right. You are a jerk."
The simple insult infuriated him. "Dammit, Nabiki! What do you know about it, huh?" he challenged. "Maybe you should talk to your sister some more, get her to tell you about the wonderful things she did to me!"
"Oh I have, believe me," Nabiki shot back. "Akane's gotten an earful from all of us already. But you haven't exactly been 'wonderful' either, have you?" She raised a hand before he could protest.
"Since you asked, let me tell you what I do know, Saotome." She began ticking off her fingers. "I know that you made her promise to kill you. Oh yes, that finally came out. But let's go on, shall we? I know that you shut yourself off from her and most everyone else after the accident. I know you've been sleeping in separate rooms after a hell of an argument about six months ago."
She paused for breath. She was coming to the part that made her angry, and as much as Nabiki prided herself on control, some of that seeped through. "I know that my sister hasn't had a decent night's sleep in months. You are aware of that, aren't you? How Akane dreams constantly that she's your kaishoku, with the unenviable job of cutting off your head at just the right moment? It's a recurring nightmare she's been having since you made her take that godawful, stupid vow."
Ranma flushed. (Akane was having nightmares?) "She told you this?" he asked. For the first time, a tinge of uncertainty entered his voice.
"Not all. You forget whose house this is," Nabiki replied matter-of-factly. "And before you start screaming at me, let me tell you that I installed the systems in the main bedroom to monitor my father, not you. I neglected to remove them when I moved out, and I couldn't exactly come back for them after you guys moved in."
"You've been spying on us!" Ranma didn't know whether he was more offended or horrified.
Nabiki shook her head. "No, I told you I left the system alone. But I was able to retrieve the tapes yesterday, when both of you were out. And it's not like you think; the tapes aren't on every minute. They're activated only by sounds of a certain pitch and volume – shouts, fighting, loud incoherent sobbing. They stop in ten seconds if the sounds aren't repeated." For an instant her gaze shifted, became faraway. "Otousan wasn't exactly stable for awhile. We were ... worried."
It was probably the only explanation he was likely to get. (Not that it matters anymore.) Or did it? If he and Akane were through, who cared what Nabiki had on tape?
"There's really just one thing I wanted to know, Saotome. Why did you ask Akane to kill you?"
He reared back from her effrontery. "That's none of your business!"
She was probing too closely at a wound that was still raw, a sore thing that wasn't far below the surface. Ranma only had to close his eyes to summon the shadow of the unrelenting despair that had gripped him after the accident. The edges of that shadow brushed up against him sometimes. At night he'd fall asleep and dream of the accident - falling into the suffocating, cruel ice – and its more terrible aftermath, waking up to a world where everything he had ever known had been snatched away from him. At times the dreams felt so real that he'd wake up screaming.
That was what the big argument had been about. He had jolted awake, hysterical with fear (ohmygod what if I try and I can't move again can't feel again?) and of course Akane had woken, too, full of concern for him. He had hated that even more, that she had seen him not just weak but afraid. And because it was always easier for him to be angry than afraid, he had picked a fight and gotten her out of their room.
There was no way he was going to tell that to Nabiki, of all people.
Only, she wasn't taking no for an answer. "The HELL it isn't!" she snapped back fiercely, using the gaijin swear word for emphasis. You didn't spend all that time abroad without picking up colorful bits of the language. "You're a jerk, Saotome, but when did you become a sadist? What were you thinking! Making Akane, who loves you more than life, promise to kill you?"
Her staccato questions stung. "This has got nothing to do with that, Nabiki!" Ranma denied fiercely. "At least, not all of it. Akane fulfilled her vow the minute I got back on my feet." That was the moment Ranma believed that he was going to get better, that he would be able to practice the Art again, and then, after that day in the dojo with Akane ...
"But that wasn't enough for her!" he snarled. "I had to be back to this, to the Ranma who could take on all comers. She manipulated me, used Ryouga, Ukyou and who knows who else to egg me on! And kami knows how she got Ryouga to fight me. SHE BETRAYED ME!" he lashed out. It was the crux of his fury and he didn't care who knew now. "She turned our lives together into a lie!"
The older woman suddenly straightened, her mind zeroing in on one particular phrase. Her eyes pinned the martial artist with a laser glare so focused that it brought his tirade abruptly to a halt.
Ranma realized that, although he had often seen Nabiki annoyed and irritated, he had never seen her this ... upset before. Now this was the Nabiki who had tried to run him over.
"You fool," she said succinctly. "The both of you. Fools. Have you TOLD her, Saotome? That you considered the vow fulfilled?" she asked in a tone that rose with each word. "Because my sister's been going through HELL for a year because of you!"
"Yeah right," he scoffed. "What're you saying, that Akane treated me like dirt for a whole year for my own good? That she did this all for me?" And then, as Nabiki stood there, just looking at him, he realized that that was exactly what she meant. (No. No way.)
"You're free to draw your own conclusions." Nabiki slipped her sunglasses back on, and suddenly the cool control was back. Her tone became calmer, if no less devastating. "You should know that Akane told Otousan, your parents, Ryouga and Ukyou, but that's all. Everyone else in Nerima thinks she's a monster for being so mean to you. No one on this street talks to her anymore, did you know that? Not even the neighbors we've known since we were kids. She played her part so well that I only started suspecting a month ago, and I only understood when I found out about the oath. Incidentally, no one outside Ryouga, Ukyou and the family know about that."
"So, congratulations, Saotome. Not only do you get the dojo and the house for a good part of your life, your reputation as a fearless warrior is intact. You have to admit my sister did a thorough job. Too bad she destroyed her reputation in the process."
Her sweeping words felt like a trap closing around him. Ranma looked away. "I don't believe you."
"Suit yourself." In a gesture that was almost casual in its contempt, Nabiki threw the folder of papers at his feet. "You're so angry, so eager to have her out of your life? That's fine with me. Personally, I think it's best. But if I were you, I'd start imagining what it would be like, this life you've chosen without Akane."
The woman turned and calmly walked back to her car. In seconds, the stately black vehicle was speeding away.
As the car disappeared from sight, Ranma stooped down and picked up the folder. He opened it briefly, but his mind was still whirling from Nabiki's onslaught and none of it made sense to him. It might as well have been a jumble of words.
Giving up, he fished for his house keys and found them this time. The heavy wooden gate swung open and he stepped through.
For a moment the pigtailed martial artist stood staring at the shoji leading to the house, rooted to the spot. Doubts swirled in his mind. (It's Nabiki, ya can't trust her. But ... why would she lie? There's nothing in it for her.) He shook his head. He needed to hear from someone he could trust. There was one person who might tell him the truth.
The minute he was in the house, he reached for the phone.
"Kuonji Okinomiyaki."
"Hi, Ucchan, it's Ranma. There's something I haveta ask you," he said. "I need to know if Akane -" He faltered. How to ask without giving too much away? "Did Akane ever tell you anything about ... an agreement we had about my condition?" He heard the okinomiyaki chef catch her breath, could almost see her hesitate.
"Ucchan," he repeated, and this time his tone was urgent, "Akane's gone. I fought Ryouga and I won, do you understand? I ... Akane told me about some things and I ... sent her away." The gasp on the other side was audible. "Please, I need someone to tell me what happened."
So she did. Ranma listened with growing horror.
Ranma stumbled across the hall, to the room that had been Akane's room. Although they had moved to the master bedroom after Soun had gone to live with Genma and Nodoka, they had kept Akane's old room mostly as it was. Even the duck was still on the door. They used it as a study and sometimes as a dressing room, but mostly it was still Akane's private space. It had been easy for her to move back in there after the night he had thrown her out ...
Her room was empty. It possessed a neatness that said, better than anything, that no one lived here anymore. The bedcovers were folded with a precision that would've made Kasumi proud.
On the simple desk Akane had used since childhood laid two pages of paper held down by a set of keys. Ranma recognized the cutesy keychain immediately - her house keys.
He sat down on her chair and immediately a decade's worth of memories assailed him. How many lessons had they pored over right here, sitting next to each other and pretending that it didn't mean anything?
He remembered how nervous he had been the first time she had invited him in, knowing that he was actually going to stay in Akane's room alone with her, even if it was only to study. She had gotten him to understand algebra and geometry - no mean feat. He'd been amazed then at her patience. He'd thought, fleetingly, that she'd be a great teacher one day. He'd been right.
"... start imagining that it would be like, this life you've chosen without Akane ..."
With a hand that quavered a little, Ranma reached for the letter. It had been hastily written. It began with the kanji of his name, with a flourish on the "Ran" syllable as Akane liked to write it:
Ranma,
I hope you see this. If not, I suppose you'll find out what you need to soon enough.
I've left and I'm not coming back. The dojo is yours. Our fathers always meant for the schools to be united. They were right - the master and the dojo should be together. I know that you probably intended to be the one to leave, but it's done. I called Nabiki before you left. She didn't like it, but you now have a lifetime interest (she'll explain what that means) in the house and the dojo. I've explained to everyone that this is a matter of making amends.
(The dojo!) Ranma read that part over. The same disbelief that had greeted Nabiki's announcement earlier went through him again. Akane loved the dojo more than anything else on earth. It had been her sanctuary and protecting it had been one duty she had taken on gladly. How could she do this? Jerkily, he read on.
Now that Kasumi isn't mad at me anymore, I'll stay with her for awhile. Eventually, I think I will go on a musha-shugyo. There's no reason for you not to stay in Nerima. At least stay until you're fully recovered.
Please don't get mad at Ukyou and Ryouga. It was my plan. They were only trying to help you. I'm sorry for everything.
I hope someday you'll understand.
Akane
Ranma carefully folded the pages. Kasumi had gotten mad at her?
"... she did this alone. She told Otousan, your parents, Ryouga and Ukyou ... but everyone else thought she was a monster ..."
"You're back."
That had been the last thing he had heard Akane say even as he had been leaping away.
(Oh kami, it WAS the vow.) Nabiki was right.
The pigtailed martial artist got up unsteadily. She had fought everyone on this - her family, her friends, HIM, and she had done it mostly by herself for almost a year. It staggered him.
For him. Then, when he had thrown everything in her face and said the cruelest things he could think of, she had left him her most precious possession. So he'd recover and the Musabetsu Kakutou would continue, even without her.
Suddenly his eyes were stinging. (No one's ever ...) She had shown him a depth of love that he had never had from anyone. No wonder he didn't understand it. The world blurred through his tears.
He wasn't going to let her go!
Akane sat down on a park bench. It was quiet at this time of the day. Most of the students were already home, while folks at work wouldn't be free to leave their offices for another hour. Sometimes Akane went to the park when she needed to think.
It was here that she'd decided on the trip that had nearly gotten Ranma killed. (If I had known, I would've never ...) She shivered. 'It's over,' Akane reminded herself.
Everyone was moving on. Ryouga was back on his feet; soon he'd be on his way on another trip. Kasumi and Nabiki were relieved to find out that their baby sister hadn't turned into some vindictive, bitter stranger. Just into a very good liar. Nabiki had been annoyed at being fooled, though, as Akane herself had admitted, Nabiki wouldn't have stayed that way for long if she hadn't been away most of the time. And Ranma, well, he had made what he wanted clear.
(Ranma ...)
Akane covered her eyes. (No, I won't go there again.) Suddenly, she was tired. She had spent the last couple of days busy with what needed to be done. Tending to Ryouga. Telling her family. Convincing them to cede the dojo to Ranma.
Her way of making amends. Akane glanced at her watch. Nabiki said she would drop off the papers today, after asking Akane for the umpteenth time if she was sure. She'd replied that she was. Thinking about it now gave rise to a tight feeling in her chest. The dojo meant a lot to her. By giving it to Ranma, she knew she would never be able to set foot in it again.
(It's the right decision.) If he had the dojo, Ranma would stay, teach and heal. The School would continue. And Akane would be free to go. She HAD to go. Every day spent in Nerima was like a knife in her heart. Everywhere she turned were reminders of what she had lost.
It was worse at night. There was no mask of daughter, sister, friend to hide behind when she was alone. There was only Akane, who had to live with what she'd done. Lying had only been a small part of it. She had been deliberately unkind, and more. She had bullied and hectored and pushed the right buttons. She had deceived the one person she had sworn to love above all others while he had been at his weakest and most vulnerable. She had fought viciously, and she had unblinkingly used others to further her own ends.
She had done it with the best of intentions. To save Ranma and herself from that awful promise, what could be more necessary, more right? Only, she hadn't reckoned on the price. To lose Ranma's trust and love, yes, she'd known enough to expect that.
But you don't live like that, day after day for hundreds of days, maneuvering everything and everybody around you, and still come out the same forthright girl that you used to be. Akane was beginning to realize that she had done more than betray Ranma.
Along the way, she had lost a part of herself.
She would no longer be "the unsubtle sister", as Nabiki had once called her. She would never be that naïve again, or that trusting. And she could not un-know that Ryouga had loved her, loved her deeply and maybe still did, and for that reason would do what she asked. It didn't matter that his debt over P-chan was repaid in full. Akane still had a hold over the brash, impulsive youth.
She hoped she would never use it. The girl she had been wouldn't have even thought about it. It would be unfair. It would be taking advantage. But the person who was Akane now wasn't a hundred percent sure. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she felt the thought being filed away.
(NO!) Akane jerked to her feet, desperate to escape the tainted feeling. (I'll leave Nerima, go on a long training trip and clear my head. I WILL regain myself. I will regain my ... my honor.) She shut her eyes.
"Akane?"
The girl's eyes flew open. Was her imagination playing tricks on her? In that case, it was affecting her sight, too.
Approaching her was a familiar figure in red and black, striding through a square of dappled sunlight.
"Ra - Ranma?" She couldn't believe it.
The pigtailed martial artist stopped a couple of feet away. He was breathing hard; he'd been running. There was an equally surprised look on his face. Clearly he hadn't expected to find her here.
Then his expression changed, but not to the anger and contempt Akane expected. His glittering blue eyes swept over her with fierce intensity.
She'd seen that look a few times before, but she could hardly credit it now. (No way.) Instinctively, she stepped back and held her hands out in front of her. "Ranm-"
Too late. Ranma covered the space between them in an instant. In the next breath, his arms were around her and he was kissing her. His lips on hers were hard, insistent, but trying not to be. His embrace was heated, coiled steel.
(Oh kami.) Akane's trapped palms curled against the familiar warmth of Ranma's chest. In a few seconds she would be lost in this kiss, every thought and resolution she'd made over the last couple of days forgotten.
She couldn't let that happen. With strength she didn't know she possessed, Akane did what she'd never done before. She pulled away.
"What're you doing?" It was supposed to be indignant, but even to her own ears she sounded merely breathless.
Ranma's hands dropped to his sides. The truth was he was almost as astonished by his actions as she was. The sudden and unexpected sight of her had given rise to an impulse that had been irresistible. That Akane had stopped it was not a good sign. He just hoped she'd wait a bit and listen before she decked him.
He smiled weakly. "Sorry bout that. I just ..." Oh wonderful, he had no idea what to say! He'd never been good at this talking stuff. He spotted the bench behind Akane and waved towards it. "Can we sit down?"
To forestall any protest, he went past her and sat on one end of the bench. He waited until she was seated, too, on the other end of course. "Nabiki came by. I – I don't want the dojo, Akane. Not if ..." he took a deep breath, "not without you."
For a long moment she could only stare at him. "Three days ago you hated me."
He winced. "Three days ago I didn't know a lot of things."
"What things?"
"You know." He paused, but she just waited. "Your plan, how badly you took the ... vow," he hesitated. "Your nightmares, how you asked Ryouga and Ukyou for help, kept it a secret from everybody ... I know you did it for me, Akane. I understand that now. I'm sorry it took me awhile to -"
"Ranma," she cut him off gently. "I told you those same things after you and Ryouga fought. Not about the nightmares," she flushed, "but enough. What happened between then and now?" Shrewdly, she guessed, "Did Nabiki say something?"
He flushed. "Well, Nabiki came by and reamed me." Ranma didn't think this was the time to tell Akane about her sister's attempt to run him over. Akane would go ballistic. "But it was only when I talked to Ukyou and read your letter that I realized what a big mess this all was."
He tugged at his pigtail uncomfortably. "Can we just ... forget that this happened, Akane?"
It was so tempting! If he had asked her two days ago, she would've agreed. And it would've been the worst possible thing to do. She'd return and they'd never talk about it. Ranma avoided serious conversations like he dodged her strikes at practice. He'd start acting as if nothing had happened. And she'd follow his example because it was easier to pretend that they were okay than to face up to the fact that there was something deeply wrong with their relationship.
"I ... I can't, Ranma. I'm sorry."
Ranma felt like he'd been hit in the gut. "No. No, Akane ... what're you saying?" This couldn't be! He'd found her, but lose her anyway? "I know you feel ... bad about this, but it's alright now. I forgive you. You were just doing what you had to do."
"Thank you, your forgiveness means a lot to me," she replied softly. "But it doesn't make what I did right." Akane looked down at her tightly clasped hands. "I picked on you. I lied to you. I used people."
"You asked Ryouga and Ukyou to help!" he countered sharply. "That's not 'using.' As for what you did to me, it wasn't pleasant but I understand why. It's like a fight, Akane. You did what you had to," he repeated, "anything goes."
"But that's just it! It wasn't a fight, Ranma," she pointed out. "We're married, we're supposed to be partners. It wasn't supposed to be you against me, or the other way around, with your life at stake!"
Restless now, Akane stood and walked a few steps away. "In every single important fight we've faced, we stood together. Against demi-gods, demons, kidnappers, challengers," she quirked a weak grin, "unreasonable fiancées and hangers-on. I thought we were okay. We've never been one of those quiet couples but I thought, we always came together when it was important. That should be enough." She spread her hands. "So what happened?"
Ranma stood too, genuinely worried now. He had caught a tone in Akane's voice that was utterly serious and intractable. "Akane, what do you want me to say?" he asked outright. "That I'm sorry? That tricking you into taking that oath was stupid and wrong? All right, I'm saying those things now! I admit I was wrong, too. Isn't that enough?"
Akane turned towards him, and her eyes begged him to understand. "What if ... what happens next time?"
"There isn't going to be a next time!" he declared indignantly. Honestly, how stupid did she think he was? If there was one thing he'd learned from this experience, it was that he wasn't invulnerable or immortal. There were times when you shouldn't push your luck, even if you were Ranma Saotome, martial arts incarnate.
"You don't know that!"
"Okay, you're right! I don't!" Ranma's voice rose, roughened by his growing frustration. A part of him had really expected that finding Akane would be hard, talking to her simple. He'd forgive her, she'd forgive him and they'd head home. And why not? It had happened before. Only, it wasn't turning out that way now. "But whatever happens, I know I'm never going to ask you to ... make a promise like that again. I swear."
Akane's eyes narrowed. "Oh you better not, Ranma."
He looked at her closely. (Oh so that's it.) "You're mad at me," he stated.
"Yes," she affirmed after awhile. The look on her face said she had just realized it herself. "I guess I am."
"I already said I was sorry. I mean it, Akane. I shouldn't have. It was ... low, to trick you like that." The pigtailed youth gazed at her nervously. From the beginning, he'd never felt right about the way he had gotten Akane to promise.
"You don't have to apologize, Ranma," she sighed. "After all, it was my fault."
"What?" He couldn't believe his ears.
"Your accident, the trip, it was my fault. If I hadn't insisted on that skiing trip ..."
(She's still hung up about that?) He remembered her saying something similar the first time he'd woken up. "Don't be ridiculous, Akane. I already told you it wasn't your fault."
"But it was! IT WAS!" she burst out with surprising vehemence, turning away. "You didn't want to go. 'Nerima's cold enough, why do we have to go somewhere colder?' You asked me that, remember? But I insisted. I wanted to go some place where it was just the two of us, no friends, crazy people, families."
Ranma's senses prickled, like they often did during battle. He was close to something here, his instincts told him. Something else was bothering Akane, something that had colored her actions from the beginning and explained in part what was happening now. Because, he realized, Akane was absolutely convinced that the two of them would not work out, that they couldn't get past this. Whatever it was had shaken her faith in their marriage - in them.
But to do that, to find out, he'd have to do something utterly reckless, something he wasn't sure he was brave enough to risk.
He would have to let her go.
"Akane." The martial artist paused, his heart beating wildly. "If you need time to think this through then, alright, I accept that. Maybe I need time, too." He kept his voice calm, reasonable. "But tell me at least - why do you feel so guilty? Why did you want to go on that trip so badly?"
He saw her head dip, and even with her back to him, Ranma was certain that Akane had begun to cry.
The sudden tremor in her voice only confirmed it. "It was our third year anniversary and I thought ... three years is enough, isn't it? To know whether you're going to work out or not. I thought ... our life was settling down ... we'd both matured a lot ... maybe ..." She hesitated.
"Maybe?" he prompted her softly.
"On that trip, Ranma, I wanted to ask ..." The words were difficult, painful, and she struggled to continue. Because Ranma deserved to know this, too. "I wanted to tell you that if ... in case you were ready ... that I was ready, too." She took a deep breath. "To start thinking about ... having a child."
With those words ringing between them, and a last wounded sob, Akane ran away.
Ranma wouldn't, couldn't stop her. (Me, a dad?) He stood there, frozen, wide-eyed.
A year ago, Akane had been thinking of starting a family. Their family.
And he had asked her to kill him.
(Oh kami, what have I done?)
Notes:
At this point you might've noticed a couple of things. First, part 5's name has been changed to "Ashes." Second, it doesn't look like Rekindling is going to end here, does it? (Course, I could let it end here, but I get the feeling you guys won't be so happy with that). As I wrote, this chapter got longer and more complicated, and finally it became impossible to squeeze the happy bits in without making them seem like an afterthought (as Goku seems to have foreseen). So, the next chapter, "Flame!" will be the last, except for maybe an epilogue. At least, that's the (new) plan. :-)
Cat: That plotline did occur to me once, very early on. Then I thought, nah, too predictable. Don't worry, things will get better. But you have to wait a bit more.
Nishikaze, lovingeyes, flameraven, goku, meia, oyuki, domie, cherryblossom, r.j.g., fanfic fan: thank you! and yes, Ranma's being a bit of a baka in this chapter, but he realizes it by the end.
Lov3the3vil: The last time I checked, Hearts of Ice was in the process of being revised. There was also part of a chapter 24. I think the HOI on Krista Perry's website is more updated than the HOI posted in not bad. You got a lot of the main points right. As to whether Akane will leave for parts unknown, you have to read the next chapter to be sure.
Pinku: yours is, without a doubt, one of the most touching reviews I've received for Rekindling. Thank you. I hope you continue to enjoy the story til the end.
Hey, jan: Not quite forever, I hope. ;) As for R and A, I'm afraid things will get worse before they get better (as you see, Ranma did take it the wrong way). At any rate, it'll all finish in the next chapter.
Now how many times do I have to apologize for not updating fast enough?
No, I'm not doing this to torture anyone (really, Doc, rebecca, morgannia, and Naoki, I'm not!). Sumimasen, but honestly it'd be difficult to update faster. If it makes you feel better, some of my favorite fanfics make me wait, too (Hearts of Ice would be the extreme example). I figure if the story's good then it's worth the wait. I hope Rekindling falls in that category. Thanks, Lov3the3vil, for saying that it does.
Phobos, thanks, I try. Some mistakes still slip through, though. Thanks also to Cat (glad you liked that bit about Akane), Shadow, shiomei,ranmakane4ever, lenne and everyone else who wrote in with such nice reviews.
For those who think Ranma Akane are acting OOC, please remember that this is years into the future. Unfortunately, they still don't communicate very well.
Also, Akane's recurring dream about Ranma's seppuku is just that - it's not meant to be an accurate depiction of ritual suicide.
Rough translation of Japanese words used in this fic:
Baka - fool, idiot, and the like. Term Akane uses to insult Ranma
Kaishoku - the "second" in traditional seppuku. His/her job was to cut off the samurai's head before the latter "dishonored" himself by showing too much pain
Kimi - you (used by a husband to his wife). Ex. "Kimi no kawaii"
Kuso - a swear word; roughly equivalent to "shit"
"Ittai koko wa doko da!" - "Where on earth am I now!" Ryouga's cry when he's lost and frustrated about it.
Musha-shugyo - training journey
Otousan - Father
Oyaji - a less respectful way of saying father; usually translated as "Pop" in the anime
Shimatta - "Damn it!"
Shoji - sliding doors, like the one at the Tendo dojo