Chapter 2

It started out as companionship. The need to be near someone that understood the things you'd gone through, the way you felt, the pain that lingered even when everyone else around you had already begun to move on. It helped ease the pain.

So many people just expected Nathan to get over it. They expected him to be himself again. But he wasn't who he used to be, even when he tried, he knew he wasn't that person anymore. He was Nathan Scott, sure, but he was also a son without a father.

In the year that passed after Dan Scott's death, Nathan had a hard time coping with the new reality he was thrust into. He began to pull into himself, and avoid his friends. Most of them were too young and selfish to comprehend what he was going through, that they didn't even attempt to help. Only Jake Jaglski, his best friend from down the block would come and visit him periodically after the funeral, and even then, Nathan never had much to say, and Jake didn't know what to do.

When a few months had gone by and Deb Scott could see that her son's behavior was deteriorating, instead of getting better as so many had promised, she began sending him to a counselor. Weekly group meetings were scheduled where children dealing with the loss of a parent would come together and discuss their experience, and their heartache. Nathan thought the entire thing was a load of crap. People in pain didn't want to spill their guts to a bunch of strangers. They wanted to be left alone. He didn't say that to his mother though. She'd have ended up just making him go twice a week then.

During his second week at the group meeting, he got into an argument with his mom about how often he was playing basketball. She argued that he needed to get out and do other things. Hang out with his friends. He'd told her he was fine by himself. Other people just got in the way. And recently he believed that to be true.

Because of the argument, however, Nathan was late going into the meeting. When he walked in, his stride slow and precise, the first thing that caught his attention was Haley. Sitting in the circle with the other kids around their same age. Her hands were folded neatly in her lap, her legs crossed at the ankles. She was the image of tragic beauty. Her big brown eyes, deep pools of sadness. After that day on the sidewalk curb, Nathan had barely spoken to, or seen Haley. He'd catch her around school occasionally, but for never longer than a few seconds, before she'd disappear again.

Eyeing her intently as he took his seat within the circle, he found it oddly comforting to be within her presence again. She locked eyes with him, smiling briefly before a blonde curly-headed girl beside her began whispering something into her ear. She shook her head in response to the blonde's words and then refocused her attention back on the counselor. It was the first time Nathan saw the blonde headed girl talking to Haley, but it wouldn't be the last.

After the meeting, Nathan waited outside of the hospital counseling center on a bench, playing a small gameboy he'd snuck in his pocket before leaving the house earlier. He'd played the same game over and over again and now he was just sick of it. Nothing gave him enjoyment like basketball did. At least not like before...

Irritated, he dropped it down beside him on the bench and sighed.

"Uh...Hey,"a familiar voice came from beside him, and Nathan arched his head up to see Haley's small figure standing by the bench.

"Hey," he replied in a similar manner.

He could feel her eyes on him again, Always looking at him, searching for what he did not know. He was pretty sure that she was waiting for an invitation to sit down, but before he could say anything she took a seat beside him, and folded her hands in her lap as before.

"So...what do you think of group," she asked, biting nervously at her bottom lip.

"I don't," he slumped down into the bench, and watched as a woman with a baby began to cross the street from the hospital to the parking garage next door. A man, who appeared to be her husband was in tow, carrying various diaper bags.

"Do you come every week," she sat quietly still, the wind blowing her hair up in waves around her head. Nathan's attention got caught up in the sight for a moment, making him pause.

He considered saying, Not really. My mom makes me come, but I don't want to, so I get out of it when I can. But it took too much effort to say the truth, to say what HE really felt. It was too hard.

"Sometimes," he answered vaguely in the hopes that, that would be the end to their conversation.

She seemed determined to keep the conversation moving forward, though, and for the following five minutes asked him question after question, until finally he saw his mother's silver BMW pull up along the street in front of them.

"I gotta go," he pushed himself off of the bench and started heading toward the car.

"Nathan...," she called out and he froze hearing his name on her lips. He kept his body forward and turned his head slightly.

She was waiting for him to say something, good bye maybe, or even just to give her a smile. And part of him wanted to be able to give that to her. But he couldn't, and so he turned back, climbed in his mother's car and left.

………….

It was almost a month later until he saw her again. Coming out of school late one afternoon he remembered that his mother had told him to take the bus home because she wasn't going to be able to pick him up from school due to a meeting with one of her many charity organizations. As the bus he should've taken pulled away right as he was stepping from the building, he cursed himself, looped his thumbs through the straps of his backpack and began the long walk home alone.

Five blocks from his neighborhood he saw her as he turned the corner. Her steps were even and sturdy, though she walked with a lightheartedness, Nathan had never seen before.

She was singing something softly to herself as she went. Her voice sweet like chocolate to his ears. He listened as he walked, being calmed by her singing. She turned around when she was finished and observed him from where he was a few feet behind her. He half-expected her to turn her head back around and continue on as if he were never there at all.

Instead she paused, and waited until he was beside her before she began walking again. She followed him home that day, and sat outside on the concrete stoop reading a book while he played basketball. When his mother got home a few hours later, she stuffed her book back in her bag, smiled as Nathan and his mother, then went home.

And it was the same every day after that. The two of them meeting outside once the school bell had rung, walking home to Nathan's house together, where he would play and she would read. Neither of them talked much at first. Probably, Nathan figured, because he didn't have much to say. Haley, of course would start various random conversations every now and then, but mostly she would stick to her books and Nathan would continue to play. It somehow made getting through the day easier, the weeks didn't seem so long as they had before. Thus, things in Nathan's life settled for awhile.

As much as they could for a boy like him.

……………

By Nathan's freshman year of highschool, he'd found a corner of the world to fit into, a place all his own. Yet it never seemed enough. He was never quite satisfied no matter how many good things came his way. He was always ready to test the limits of how much farther he could go, how much better he could be.

Often he found himself intentionally pushing situations to the breaking point just because he could. Haley was the only exception to the mess. She never bothered him when he was upset, or angry or in one of his many moods. She knew, unlike the other people in his life to not get involved when he would shut down. It did no good to try to talk him out of it-he didn't want to be bothered.

He would go outside and play basketball or up into his room where he would stay until he was ready to come down again. If he wanted to talk he would leave little messages for Haley to pick up on. Like the way he'd leave his door cracked open, or he'd sit on the stoop outside dribbling the ball, instead of going straight to the court.

Haley knew these things about him, just as he knew why she cringed every time someone used improper grammar when they spoke, or how her smile would slant slightly to the left when somebody complimented her on the way she looked. They were family to each other. Even if they didn't realize it at the time.

Late, one ordinary Monday afternoon, Haley walked up the Scott drive way to hear yelling within the house. She couldn't quite distinguish what was being said from within, until she reached the backdoor. On the most days she would go ahead and walk right in, but the tension she felt, caused her to hesitate. When the shouting had subsided she stepped in, and traveled up stairs to see Nathan laying on his bed throwing a toy basketball up in the air, catching it and then throwing it up again.

His entire face was rigid, and Haley had half a mind to take two steps back and walk right out the door. She paused, watching him through the crack in the door.

"You coming in," he called out to her, keeping his eyes on the ball. Startled, Haley stepped farther in the room so that she could lean her back against the doorway. Inside the room Jake sat at Nathan's computer desk browsing the internet. He gave Haley a quick smile as he saw her come in, his attention then refocusing on the computer screen in front of him.

Haley looked to Nathan but he didn't acknowledge her any further and so she crossed her arms over her chest, keeping her backpack firmly on her shoulder.

"What's going on," she asked to the quiet room.

From her perspective, Nathan appeared more distracted than usual. She wasn't sure if it was due to the argument with his mother, as often as those did happen, she would assume not. Still it did seem more heated than the others ones she'd heard as of late. Regardless of whether or not something serious happened, Haley wasn't going to stick around where she was not wanted, and if Nathan was going to be a jackass, then she was going elsewhere.

"Hello? Nathan? Earth to Nathan," she drew out, "are you there? Can you hear me?"

When he didn't acknowledge her, she turned to the boy at the desk. "Jake, what's going on? Did I miss something?"

Jake gave her a blank expression, not sure what to say or how to say it. He wasn't the kind of person to get involved in others' matters, especially if he wasn't wanted. Nathan was the most private person he knew, and even though he and Haley were close, he wouldn't dare threaten his and Nathan's friendship by stepping over a line he wasn't supposed to cross.

"Nate should probably take this one. I–

"I can't try out for the team," Nathan finally said in a tight voice, catching the toy ball in his hands and squeezing it until the veins in his hands pulsed against his skin.

Haley's expression turned from annoyed to that of concern. She dropped her bag on the floor by his door and came up to the bed taking a seat on the corner edge.

"Why not," she asked, her face the very picture of confusion. Over the two years that her and Nathan had become close, she'd seen the way his mother looked upon basketball with such disdain. But never had she forbid him to play. Never had she asked him to quit. It didn't make any logical sense why she would now tell him not to join their highschool basketball team, when he lived and breathed the game like nothing else.

Nathan gave her a solemn look and began throwing the ball again. He didn't want to relive the entire conversation again. Arguments with his mother were always brutal, even more so than they had been with his father, who didn't argue at all. He on the other hand, just made his demands clear and expected them to be carried out. There was no alternative. In many ways it was almost easier to follow orders than it was to have a confrontation with someone.

Haley, he knew, wouldn't let up until she'd heard the full story. And as much as he wanted to forget about all of it at that moment, telling her what bothered him, made it not as hard to deal with.

"My mom said I couldn't," he answered, and Haley looked at him even more confused.

A few seconds later, a curly blonde-headed girl by the name of Peyton Sawyer strutted through Nathan's half open door and gave a big smile to the quiet room of people.

"So guess what," she asked with a bright face, plopping down next to Haley on Nathan's bed. Haley eyed both people on either side of her, not sure whether to answer her friends question, or continue to try to talk to Nathan.

"I don't know...what," Haley shrugged, trying to appease Peyton while eyeing Nathan out of the corner of her eye.

"You're supposed to guess," Peyton gave her a smack on the arm. "You to Jake. Come on guess what happened to me today?"

"You figured out how to knock before coming into my room," Nathan blew out in a petulant tone.

Peyton turned to Nathan with a comical expression. "Damn. What's he all pouty about," she asked and Nathan turned to her with a sharp eye.

In the time that Peyton and Haley had been friends, neither the blonde nor Nathan had really ever truly been close. Usually they got along as well as could be expected, but for some reason, when she and Nathan were together banter of some kind was always present. They acted more like siblings than friends. So much that Jake and Haley found it amusing for the most part, but every now and then, when Nathan wasn't in the mood to deal or Peyton was being exceptionally bitter, one of the two would have to break them up before heads would start to fly.

To Haley this appeared to be one of those occasions. "His mom won't let him try out for the basketball team at school," she offered up before Nathan could reply, to which he gave her a blank look still toying with that stupid ball.

"Why not," Peyton asked, echoing Haley's earlier words.

"I don't know...we don't know," Haley answered for him again. Peyton's brow wrinkled and she looked to Jake who had finally joined the conversation.

"Well why don't you just try out anyway," Peyton offered, re-situating herself on the bed.

Nathan focused his attention on the blonde sitting atop his bed, irritated by her very presence in this moment. "Because you can't play without parental consent," he bit out with an icy glare.

"So just forge your mom's signature," she countered, and Nathan rolled his eyes.

"That's a great idea Peyton. Really. It's too bad I didn't think about it earlier...oh but wait, I did. And it won't work, because you have to bring a signed check to pay for your jersey, which I don't have." Nathan was beyond playing games now. His stare was cold and his posture gave off the very essence of his attitude. Everyone in the room knew what he was like when he got this way, and they refused to be a party to it.

"You know what Hales, I'll just call you later tonight," Peyton stated, jumping off Nathan's bed, and pulling Jake along with her.

"See ya tomorrow Haley," Jake smiled. "Nate."

When they were gone, Haley scooted farther up on the bed so that she was sitting parallel to him, her bottom lip between her teeth. She searched his face, trying to read what was going through his mind, but found she couldn't quite decipher what he was thinking. "Do you want to talk? Or do you want me to leave?"

It was a simple question that Nathan should have been able to answer easily. But he felt conflicting emotions arise in him. He wanted to be alone, he knew he probably should be alone when he was in this bad of a mood. Yet, having Haley there brought him a sense of peace that nothing else could.

He sighed long and hard, letting his eyes fall shut, his head rest against the back board of his bed.

"I just wanna play ball," he breathed, his eyes opening to stare up at his ceiling.

Haley nodded, trying to form a smile for him. "I know," she said. "I know."