Disclaimer: Do you really think that JK would write a fanfic saying what will not happen in book 7 instead of writing book seven and make money with it? Anyway, I am not her (just to mention it) and I don't own anything any other person has a copyright for!

Author's note: Thank you all for the lovely reviews as always:D Well, I thought it was funnier in the beginning too, but it's hard to keep it at that level as I have to admit... still amusing thought, so I'll be satisfied with that!

Chapter ten

The next morning Harry got up very early, sneaked out of the common room and went to the DADA classroom.

Because it was very early, and because he hadn't slept well he forgot what he had wanted to do before he got there anyway.

So Harry had to go back to the common room and check his diary to see if he had written his absolutely secret plan into it.

Minutes later he went back towards the classroom.

In order to get there he had to pass the Great Hall by however.

First he didn't notice that there was someone in there but as the author wants to write about this, he noticed and was interested enough to forget his plan for a moment and went to look.

The two fan-girls who had beaten him up two days ago where standing about ten steps away from each other pointing their wands at one another.

That moment Harry felt vaguely interested in why they were fighting and went to ask ex-Professor…

"That's still Professor Snape to you, I didn't study for nothing!" Snape barked at the author immediately.

That moment something fell from the ceiling but stopped a few inches above his head because the author herself had to admit that she just couldn't hurt him, even though he had questioned her knowledge of everything.

Anyway, Harry went to ask Professor Snape why the two Slytherins were fighting.

Snape merely shrugged: "That happens most of the time when two of my fans meet! I think it is one of the amusing sides of having overly obsessed fan-girls!"

Harry nodded absent minded. He had forgotten what he had wanted to do again.

The two girls were about hexing each other into oblivion that moment.

Harry stepped in the middle of the hall, because he thought that it was his duty and privilege as the hero of the story to do something about this.

"Girls, girls, stop it! There's enough Snape for both of you!"

Snape gave him a look which could have killed if the author had decided that it could kill.

"I mean, he's dripping with grease, there really is enough for both of you!" Harry added without noticing that he was making a bad mistake with this.

Even before Snape could have done anything to hex this idea out of his head, Harry found himself hit by a curse of each of the two girls.

That moment the two finally noticed that there was no point in fighting one another but that they should rather fight everyone who was against their Severus!

Snape rolled his eyes at this but at the same time found it very touching that they felt about him like this.

"Girls," he started, "I feel… annoyed by the fact that you're following me around, but as long as you keep doing things like that to Mister Potter, you may continue hanging around me!"

Both jumped up and down like crazy and decided to do as he said when he left the Great Hall.

Harry obviously had heard all of this (the story is from his PoV after all) but was still curled to a ball at the floor and had decided to act as if he was dead until they had left.

He winced when he heard steps coming closer again but then someone pulled him to his feet and shoved some chocolate into his mouth.

Without opening his eyes Harry knew that Remus Lupin had come to the rescue.

Actually he had come too late for the rescue, but that didn't matter at all.

"Hello Harry!" Lupin said in his usual calm tone "What has happened to you?"

Harry sighed: "I was mean to Snape while his fan-girls were around!"

Remus winced with the thought: "Ouch, I did that once… the scars never heal!"

"Poooooooooooooor Professor Lupin!" two girls exclaimed at once and shoved a piece of chocolate into his mouth.

The girl to his right was already known to those who can still remember what happened at the last order meeting. As a reminder: Approximately 20 years old, Australian, light brown hair.

The girl to his left however was new as a character in this story, although she looked suspiciously like the author of this; approximately 19 years old, Austrian, dark blond hair just over the shoulder.

Harry screamed: "You've got some of those too?"

Lupin shrugged: "You see, as the poor neglected character who is sensitive, intelligent and well, rather cute this wasn't too unexpected, was it? Besides, the werewolf thing doesn't help getting accepted in the magical world, but it helps with the fan-girls!"

Both girls nodded frantically handing him more chocolate.

"Sometimes they are pretty handy… I never run out of chocolate anymore!" Lupin explained.

"AM I THE ONLY ONE HERE WHO DOESN'T HAVE FANGIRLS?" Harry whined.

He turned around as someone touched his shoulder.

"Now that you are asking…" an approximately 20 years old English girl with Indian heritage said winking at him.

Harry wasn't sure how to react. On the one hand he was relieved to see that he actually had fan-girls, but on the other hand he had a girlfriend.

"Uh… I've got a girlfriend…" Harry stated.

"So did I; before the start of this fun-fiction!" Remus said and got more chocolate from his two fans for this.

Only seconds later Ginny arrived in the Great Hall and shouted: "But I'll stay his girlfriend!"

Harry's fan shrugged: "Of course you will! I just wanted to enter this story too at one point! And there was a great lack of Harry fan-girls, you see, it can't be he has none!"

Ginny pouted but nodded. She seemed to have understood what no one else could understand.

Finally Harry looked around confused for a moment and then asked: "What did I want to do this morning anyway? I thought there was something…"

"Probably you wanted to do something about Professor Riddle!" everyone suggested at the same time. To them it was obvious what Harry should be doing in this story.

"Oh right!" Harry exclaimed happily and ran off just to return a second later.

"Voldemort doesn't have fan-girls, does he?" he sounded a little scared asking this.

Every one shrugged: "Nothing is impossible, Harry!"

Finally Harry decided that this wasn't important anyway and so he ran off again to find Professor Riddle and find out about some more Horcruxes.

If he hadn't missed any or counted wrongly there should be two more left and he wanted to find them.

And then he would be able to vanquish the Dark Lord finally, if only because he was the most boring DADA teacher he had ever had to suffer.