After showering, Cloud returned to the living room to find that Vincent had again taken up his place by the door. The ex-Turk watched him as he flopped back down on the couch, but he said nothing. After a while, Cloud glanced at him. "Are you ever going to sit down?" he asked.
Vincent shrugged and made no move towards the couch.
Cloud sighed and leaned back, staring up at the ceiling. So, Aeris was alive... Seeing her again stirred up so many feelings that he had been trying to suppress for the past five years. He was glad to see her alive again, so much so that he could not put it into words, but nevertheless... it did complicate things.
He had been doing well, he thought. Lately, he hadn't thought of Aeris much, and Tifa had seemed happy with him. But now that she had returned, he knew that he wouldn't be able to stop thinking about her. Knowing that she was alive, knowing that death was no longer a barrier between them, a part of him would constantly want to be with her.
And yet, he could not abandon Tifa. Had Aeris lived, he wasn't sure what would have become of his best friend. Would she have withered away, lacking the strength to tell him how she felt? And he, dense fool that he was, would he have even noticed? Marrying her had brought her so much joy, even though she knew that he still did not care for her as he did for Aeris. Still, it had given her the hope that maybe, one day, that would change.
What it had done for his own heart, though, Cloud wasn't sure. With Aeris's return, he realized that he had been trying to forget that he could even feel that strongly. But he still could not express those feelings. He couldn't do that to Tifa; neither of them could. However much he hated it, he would have to push Aeris away. He only hoped that she would find something else. She had always had a strong heart, hadn't she? She could survive this. And he could survive it, if he had Tifa to help him. But, would Tifa feel guilty because she was getting in the way? He didn't want her to feel that way.
"Why is life so complicated?" he demanded of the ceiling, forgetting that he wasn't alone.
Vincent looked at him with something akin to sympathy in his eyes. "Matters of the heart are always complicated," he said, speaking for the first time since his arrival, "and only too often, they end in tragedy and pain. You should consider yourself lucky."
"I guess you would know," Cloud remarked cautiously, "what with Lucrecia and all."
The ex-Turk said nothing, tearing his eyes away to stare at the wall.
"I was wondering," the blond went on, "why did you decide to help Aeris? What does she mean to you?"
"Do you really think me that cold-hearted?" Vincent asked. Cloud couldn't tell whether or not he was offended. The ex-Turk did seem cold-hearted, and he knew it. When Cloud did not reply, Vincent answered, "She was weak and needed someone to look after her. Certainly Sephiroth was not the one to do it."
"Is that it, then? Just a process of elimination?" Cloud asked, studying him carefully. "That still doesn't explain why you're here now. You could have just escorted her here and then gone on your way. Why stay with her?"
Vincent sighed, his gaze lowering to the floor. A long silence preceded his answer, but finally he murmured, "She reminds me so much of Lucrecia..."
At first this confession surprised him, but he realized that he knew practically nothing about Lucrecia, besides the fact that Vincent had loved her. Did this mean that Vincent had transferred some of these feelings to Aeris? He decided not to pry any further.
"How did Aeris react, when Sephiroth revive her?" he asked instead.
"It was strange," Vincent answered, seeming more comfortable with this topic. "At first she was afraid, yes, but then... It was almost as though she had known him, before Nibelheim. She certainly did not seem to bear him any ill will."
Cloud shook his head slowly. "Sometimes I really don't understand her."
"Then perhaps this separation of yours is for the best; she deserves someone who understands her."
He frowned and was just about to reply when he heard the front door open. Moments later, Aeris came back into the living room, followed by Tifa. The Cetra now wore a black, pleated skirt and two shirts, one sleeveless and spring green with a sort of dark green short-sleeved jacket over it. She smiled and spun around, letting the skirt fan out around her.
"You look beautiful, Aeris," Cloud told her, trying not to stare.
"Thank you, Cloud," she replied as she sat back down opposite, tossing her wavy brown hair back over her shoulder.
Tifa sat down beside Cloud, saying nothing. She was watching Aeris almost wistfully, and Cloud immediately felt guilty. He looked down at the table, wishing that he could love her the way she wanted him to. He had tried, but she was still only a friend in his heart.
"So how did you want to spend the rest of the day?" Tifa asked after a moment.
Aeris shook her head. "How do you guys normally spend your Sundays?"
"Sleeping," Cloud answered.
Tifa cast him a look and turned back to Aeris. "Well, we do sleep in pretty late, but we usually head down to the beach in the afternoon."
"That sounds nice," the Cetra remarked. "Although... I don't have a swimsuit."
"You can borrow one of mine," Tifa told her.
Aeris nodded and then turned to their silent companion standing by the door. "So, Vincent, what do you think?"
He blinked in surprise. "Hmm?"
"Do you want to come with?"
Frowning as though he could not figure out why she was asking, he shook his head.
"Why not?" Aeris persisted.
"I see no point in it," he replied.
"Vincent, not everything has to serve some higher purpose. Sometimes you just have to relax and have a little fun."
"Aeris, Vincent just doesn't 'have fun,'" Cloud said, grinning in amusement. "It's not like him."
Tifa caught the Cetra's gaze and put in, "But don't you think it would be good for him to get out a little?"
"I guess he is a little too pale," he considered.
"That's not what I meant," Tifa laughed.
"I know, I know, but I don't see how we'd ever get him to agree to it."
Vincent frowned. "I would prefer it if you would not speak of me as though I were not here."
"Sorry," Cloud apologized.
"So are you coming?" Aeris asked again.
"Well?" the blond prompted when her question furnished no reply. "We haven't got all day."
Sighing, Vincent nodded his agreement. "I'll come... but don't think that I am doing it of my own free will."
"He's lying," Cloud whispered to Tifa, loud enough so that both Aeris and Vincent could still hear. "He just wants to see all the pretty girls in their bikinis."
"Cloud--!" Aeris exclaimed, feigning indignation but really suppressing a giggle. Tifa laughed aloud, but Vincent looked none-too-pleased.
"Kidding, kidding," Cloud laughed, holding up his hands to Vincent. He liked this moment, with the three of them laughing, their complex feelings momentarily forgotten.
"Well then, let's get ready," Tifa said, getting to her feet. The three of them left the living room in search of swimwear, no one bothering to ask Vincent about it--they all assumed that they could not possibly push him to that extent. It was a miracle that he had even agreed to coming.
Once they were all ready, the four of them left the villa and headed down the sandy street to the beach. If there had only been the three of them, people would have thought nothing of it, but Vincent's presence drew them a lot of stares, many of them fearful. Cloud realized that they hadn't received that much attention since their days in Avalanche, when people would notice their weapons and shy away.
They reached the beach, finding it busier than usual, and managed to procure a few vacant beach chairs to toss their towels on. Kicking off their flip-flops, Tifa, Cloud, and Aeris headed out into the water, leaving Vincent behind in the shade of a large umbrella. Only Aeris seemed bothered that he remained behind, but out in the ocean, she soon forgot about him. They all forgot themselves and their worries, content to play around, attacking each other with water.
Cloud liked that about the ocean; not only was it beautiful, but it seemed to bring out the child in everyone. And he certainly needed to feel carefree right now.
They spent nearly the entire day at the beach, and somehow Aeris managed to drag Vincent out into the water, if only for a few minutes. In the late afternoon, they mostly stayed out of the water and sat around on the beach talking. They made dinner of a pizza, and then decided to head back, realizing only then what a marvel it was that Vincent had remained with them for the entire time.
"I call first shower!" Aeris announced as she walked in through the villa's front door.
"I call second!" Tifa cried immediately after, laughing.
Cloud sighed and shook his head. "That makes me last, doesn't it?"
"Not unless Vincent beats you to it," Aeris told him.
The blond glanced at Vincent and grinned sheepishly. "Er... I guess I call third then."
Aeris went to gather her clothes while the others filed into the living room to wait their turns. Soon she was in the shower with warm water running over her. It was really the first time she had bathed in five years, she realized. She found it refreshing, as though it washed away more than just the salt water. Looking down at herself, she caught sight of the scab on her abdomen, from where Sephiroth had stabbed her. She wondered if it would leave a scar, or if, once it healed, there would be nothing left there to remind her.
She wished that the water could wash that memory away, too.
Once she felt that she was as clean as water could make her, Aeris stopped the shower, dressed herself, and stepped out of the bathroom. In the living room across the hall, she noticed that Cloud and Tifa had another guest, and she started. It was Elena, she realized, of the Turks. She had grown her hair out so that she could tie it back, and that was what had made her hard to recognize.
Aeris entered the living room, confusion on her face. "Um, hello," she faltered. The Turk must have arrived while she was in the shower, but the reason was beyond her. She looked to Cloud and Tifa for help, but neither of them seemed to understand it either.
"You really are alive again," Elena breathed. When Aeris looked back at her, she looked embarrassed. "I mean, um, hi. Listen, would you mind talking for a bit? I promise I won't take up too much of your time."
Aeris exchanged glances with her friends, then shrugged and nodded. "I don't see why not."
Elena turned to Tifa and Cloud. "Do you two mind stepping outside? It's sort of personal."
The nodded uncertainly and got up to leave the room. Cloud paused at the doorway. "What about Vincent?"
"He can stay," Aeris interjected before Elena could protest. She knew that the ex-Turk would not breathe a word about it to anyone, and somehow she felt it might be a good idea for him to listen in.
"All right," Elena agreed reluctantly. After the other two had left, closing the door behind them, she glared at Vincent threateningly. "You had better not tell anyone about what I say."
"I won't," he said simply.
This did not convince her, and she turned to Aeris. "Are you sure we can trust him?"
"Of course; he's Vincent," Aeris replied. "And anyway, he used to be a Turk, like you. You'd trust one of your own, wouldn't you?"
At this, Elena's eyes widened and she stared at Vincent anew. "You mean you're Vincent Valentine?" she exclaimed. "But, wait a minute, you can't be. You're only like, twenty-something, right?"
"He's older than he looks," the Cetra explained. "Something to do with Hojo's experiment."
"Oh, right! I remember reading about that when I looked at his file. Still..." She leaned forward to peer at Vincent, and then she blinked. "He does look the same!"
"I fail to see what is so amazing," Vincent said flatly.
"Oh, come on," Elena said. "You were only the greatest Turk of all time! Never mind that you weren't in action for very long, you were still--" She broke off at a look from Vincent and dropped her gaze. "I mean... um... No wonder we could never beat you guys."
"Anyway," Aeris cut in to save them all from an awkward moment, "I know you didn't come all this way to pester Vincent. Why are you really here?"
The Turk took a moment to compose herself. "You know that Tseng died, right?"
She nodded. "Sephiroth killed him, at the Temple."
Elena shook her head. "Actually, he hung on until after Meteor, which was when we found him. He was dying, and he wanted me to tell you something."
Aeris knew she had watched that moment, but now she remembered it only vaguely. "Go on," she prompted, wondering all the while why Elena had taken this so seriously.
"He said... to tell you that he was sorry, that he should never have become a Turk." After a pause, she shook her head. "But you know, if he hadn't become a Turk, I would never have met him..." At this, she colored slightly and stared at her hands.
"You... were in love with him?" Aeris asked carefully.
"Ah! I... Well, I guess I didn't know him that well, but I still... I don't know if I'd call it love, but... Yeah. I guess so."
The Cetra did not know quite what to say. It did explain, though, why Elena had come.
They both started when Vincent spoke up. "If Sephiroth intends to undo his mistakes, he may try to revive Tseng as well."
Elena sat bolt upright. "Sephiroth? Revive Tseng? Someone please explain!"
"Calm down, Elena," Aeris said gently, trying not to smile. "I'll explain." When she had the Turk's attention, she went on, "Yes, Sephiroth is alive again; the Jenova cells in his body brought him back. But this time, there's no need to worry. He's got his sanity back, too, and when he learned of what he had done, he decided that he wanted to undo it as best he could. So, the first thing he did was revive me."
At this the Turk laughed sheepishly. "And here I was under the impression that Vincent revived you..."
"Vincent? Where did you get that idea? He can't even cast magic without materia."
"I dunno... I mean, well, he's not human, is he? I didn't know about Sephiroth, and it's not like you can come back to life on your own, so..."
"Oh." After a moment, Aeris asked, "Are you going to stay long?"
Elena shook her head. "No. Not now anyway. I'm going to go find Sephiroth and ask him to bring Tseng back."
"Well," the Cetra decided at length, "we might as well come with you. We were going to leave in the morning anyway, and I'd like to see Tseng, too."
"'We'?" Elena queried.
"Vincent and I."
The Turk looked confused. "What about Cloud? I thought, you two...?"
Aeris could not help wincing a little. "Yes, we do, but... He married Tifa in my... absence, so I can't stay here."
"Then what's the deal with Vincent? Why's he coming with you?"
"Well, he'd probably tell you that it's some sort of obligation, but I'd like to think that he's my friend. Right, Vincent?" she asked, glancing over at him.
He did not reply.
"Oh well," the Cetra sighed. "Maybe he'll admit it some other day."
Elena smiled tentatively. "Anyway, I'm staying at the inn tonight, so I'll come by in the morning to meet up with you two, okay?"
"All right," Aeris agreed. "See you tomorrow then."
Vincent lay on one of the couches in the living room, staring up at the ceiling. After some argument, Aeris had agreed to take the spare bedroom in the basement, and so he had been stuck with the couch--not that he really cared. He was not certain he would be able to sleep anyway; his thoughts were in turmoil, and had been for some days now.
Aeris had said that Lucrecia had loved him. Lucrecia herself had told him the same. He had spent so long telling himself that she had never loved him, that her death was his fault, and that he deserved to rot in hell. But, if she had truly loved him, what then? Did it really change anything? It did not bring her back to life, and he still felt the same guilt, perhaps an even deeper one--for hadn't he failed to notice that she wanted to be with him, not Hojo?
He had avoided her because it had hurt to see her, because every time he had looked at her, it had reminded him that she was not his. He had been so very selfish, and so he had not noticed. Surely, he could not be forgiven for that.
And yet... would Lucrecia really want him to live like this? He knew the answer was no, but after all these years, he was not sure how else to live.
Earlier that day, a man at the beach had called him a boy. A boy. Vincent was probably older than that man, and yet... the man had called him a boy. With the exception of his outlandish clothing, Vincent realized that he probably had appeared to fit in with the others. They all appeared to be the same age. But, on the inside, he felt as though he had lived a thousand years. Every moment for him hung ponderously with his self-blame, and that weight made time stretch out slower and slower. It was that inner age, in contrast to his appearance, that prevented him from belonging with anyone.
Perhaps he could settle down somewhere to live, but what would happen when someone eventually noticed that he never got any older? Rumors would come first, and then the questions that he would have no desire to answer. And with that sort of mystery around him, no one would want to associate with him any longer. And so, what was the point?
There were, of course, his so-called friends that he had made during his time with Avalanche, but even they, with the exception of Aeris, still seemed to fear him. They barely knew him, and always behaved uneasily in his presence. Surely he could not make himself a burden to any of them.
And so he was left with no place to go, as always. It seemed that only sleep had anything to give him, and then it had only nightmares.
The sound of rapid and uneven footsteps down the hall attracted his attention. He twisted to look as the door flew open, and there stood Aeris's shadowy figure, gripping the doorknob and scanning the room anxiously. She wore a pale green nightgown that hung just past her knees, and her wavy hair hung in disarray, most of it down her back but some over her shoulders and in her face. Her green eyes shown in the darkness, but with a natural sheen, not the uncanny glow of Mako.
"Vincent?" she called shakily, and he realized that it was too dark for her to see.
"Yes?" he answered, sitting up. If nothing else, she should have been able to see his eyes. "Is something wrong?"
Leaving the door open, she took a few careful steps closer to the couch. "I..." She faltered and let out a jittery sort of laugh. "I'm afraid of the dark," she admitted. "It must seem very childish to you, for a grown woman to..."
"No," he said as she trailed off. "Death can do that to a person."
She nodded slowly. "I guess... you've died before, too, haven't you? I keep thinking... no, I don't want to talk about it. But, I feel safer with someone else in the room. At Bone Village, you were always nearby, so I knew, if something happened, you'd protect me." She looked away suddenly. "I'm sorry. I'm sure you just want to get some sleep. I only wanted to ask if you'd mind me taking the other couch."
Vincent stared at her. She felt safer... with him? "Cloud and Tifa have another bed in their room," he told her. "Why not ask them?"
Aeris shook her head. "No, I couldn't."
For a moment he did not reply, but then he nodded. "I understand."
"Thanks." She made her way falteringly to the other couch and sat down. "You know, Vincent... I'm surprised you came with us today." When he said nothing, she added, "It was a good first step, I think."
"A first step towards what?"
"Healing."
"I only went because it seemed easier than arguing," he replied dispassionately.
This seemed to disappoint her. "Vincent, you're never going to get over her if you don't try. I can only do so much for you if you don't put any effort into it."
"You have no obligation to help me."
"But I want to. I want to see you recover from it. You can't keep living in the past."
"So what are you saying? That I should forget?" He was surprised to find anger in his own voice.
"No," she answered quietly. "I know it's still fresh in your mind. Maybe it's been thirty-five years since then, but it doesn't seem that long ago to you, does it? Even so, you have to realize that it has been a long time, and you have to move on. I know you think that you have to punish yourself, but eventually, all that self-hatred is going to break you. I don't think that's what Lucrecia wanted for you."
He stared at her, shocked that her words almost made him feel human. It was akin to how Lucrecia's words had made him feel, but not the same. "I know," he replied, looking away, "but beyond this, what else is there?"
"I'm willing to help you," the Cetra said gently. "You can't want to stay behind that mask. You can't want to feel guilty for the rest of your life. So, if you're willing, I can try to help you find yourself."
For a moment they were both silent. "Let me ask you something, Aeris," he said at length, "and I want a real answer from you. I don't believe this is about friendship; we are not friends. So why do you bother with me? Why do you care?"
"Because I've seen you without the mask, and I want to bring that you back to the surface again."
A part of him wanted to accept her aid, but something held him back. There was a deeper reason for his exile, one that he scarcely dared to admit to himself, but now he could not ignore it. It had little to do with how others viewed him, little to do with their fear. Rather, it was his own fear that held him back. He had always been afraid that if he let down his guard, someone would become dear to him, and that he would only end up hurting them like he had hurt Lucrecia.
If something like that ever happened again, he would not be able to live with himself.
And here sat Aeris, offering her kindness to a man who did not deserve it, and she reminded him so much of Lucrecia.
"Aeris," he said finally, "I can't."
Her face fell, and she opened her mouth to say more, but he cut her off.
"No more tonight. We both need to rest if we are to leave in the morning." With that, he lay back down, turning his back to her and shutting his eyes. The nightmares found him in his sleep, as they always did, and as always he accepted his role as observer without protest. He had long since given up on trying to change anything.
Sephiroth sat on a landing overlooking the canyon, watching Talya where she sat in the Candle's light. He wondered if she knew that he was watching; certainly, he had made sure to situate himself in the shadows, so it was doubtful that she could see him, but still--could she feel his gaze on her back? Would she know it when he finally looked away?
"Oi, Seph," came Katrina's voice to his right. He had noticed her approaching, but did not bother to turn his head. "What are you still doing up? It's practically midnight."
"I am not tired," he lied.
"Right," she said skeptically, crouching down beside him. "Look, you don't have to pretend that reviving Aeris didn't take anything out of you. If you're tired, get some rest."
"I cannot rest while Talya is here. If I take my eyes off of her, she might--"
"Seph," Katrina interrupted, "you're the one she's after, remember? You're a light sleeper, aren't you? She can't catch you off-guard."
"Yes, she can. She did earlier, and that worries me."
She settled herself into a more comfortable sitting position, apparently realizing that this was going to take longer than she had thought. "Then do you trust somebody else to watch her?"
"Like who? You?" He barely kept himself from scoffing.
"Hey, I've got two eyes and the awesome teenage power of staying up very late without getting tired."
Sephiroth was unimpressed. "She would not let you warn me; certainly she would have no qualms about killing you."
"Okay, so why don't we ask Nanaki or Miera? I hear they're seasoned warriors." It did, however, impress him that she did not sound in the least afraid.
"There is no need for them to get involved."
Katrina sighed in exasperation. "Listen, Seph, you won't be able to fight very well if you're exhausted. Even if she manages to catch you off-guard, shouldn't it take more than the element of surprise to beat you?"
"She is a Turk, Katrina," he stated. "She won't fight fair."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
He looked at her for the first time, pointedly. "It means that you should not be talking to me."
She was silent for a moment, trying to figure this out. "You mean, you're worried that she'll use me to get to you?"
"Yes," he clipped, looking back at Talya.
"Well, then I'll make myself scarce so you don't have to worry about me." Katrina climbed to her feet. "Now get some sleep already."
He did not reply, and he soon heard her footsteps going inside the canyon. He wondered how she intended to protect herself. She had gone in the direction of the observatory; did she intend to seek Nanaki's protection?
Sighing, Sephiroth stood and made his way down to the inn, watching Talya out of the corner of his eye as he passed her. She did not spare him any glances, and for some reason he found himself reassured. Perhaps he could afford to sleep this night. He did, after all, need the rest.
"I saw her again today."
Talya looked at him in surprise. "You mean Aeris?"
"Yes. She was crying," the boy went on thoughtfully. "I remember I used to cry, when I was very small. Is the Professor treating her badly?"
"No, of course not. Even he would never work with a child that young."
"I used to be that young," Sephiroth pointed out.
"You're different."
He frowned, but only asked, "Then why was she crying?"
Talya shook her head. "I don't know."
"Maybe she wants to see her mother," he reflected. "Or maybe she's afraid for her mother... But, if the Professor won't work with her yet, why is he even keeping her here? I know he doesn't care about emotional ties."
"No, he doesn't," the Turk agreed.
Sephiroth turned back to her almost hopefully. "Do you?"
"Of course."
"Then why don't you try stopping him?"
Talya looked away. "Why don't you?"
"Because I am 'only an experiment,'" he answered bitterly.
"Don't say that..."
"Isn't that what the Professor wants me to believe? Isn't that what you've always told me?"
She turned back to him, looking torn. "Yes, but..." Suddenly she drew him into her arms. "Oh, hell, Sephiroth, I didn't mean it. Don't believe it for another second."
Sephiroth sat tensely, unable to return the embrace. "What are you doing?"
"It's called a hug, or haven't you heard the word before?"
"I have. It just seems strange, coming from you."
She did not release him, and he wasn't sure if he appreciated that or not. "Why do you say that?"
"Because you've never been... soft."
"That's why I'm a Turk, isn't it?" Talya said, sounding almost regretful.
"I guess."
"Believe me, I'd be a lot nicer to you if I knew how."
"Why?" Sephiroth asked, but she did not reply.
Author's Notes
The beach scene, which was such a huge part of the first version, was almost completely cut from this one. It was mostly Vincent angst, which is something I really, really needed to get rid of. I mean, I guess it was written decently enough, but it really doesn't belong in this fic. Instead I decided to go straight to Elena's arrival, which is where we get the first mention of the possibility of Sephiroth reviving Tseng. From this point on my friend Katie was always on my case about Tseng being revived.
We also have another of the handful of remaining Aeris/Vincent scenes. Originally... the two of them ended up sharing the bed in the basement. I really used to like sticking characters in awkward situations like that. Well, to be honest, I still find situations where two characters are forced to share a bed fun, but I don't think this one really worked. I altered it so that awkwardness is no longer present, but I still got to put in Aeris's fear of the dark. This is also where some of the dialogue from the deleted beach scene ended up.
And lastly, we have an entirely new scene between Sephiroth and Katrina because I needed a little something to show what was going on with them in the mean time. Also, even if no one else seems to appreciate her, I like Katrina.