Disclaimer: The crazy parts of this story belong to me, so do my reviews:lol: All mine! Mine! MINE!
So nice to say what's mine instead of what isn't... anyway this is called a disclaimer so I have the chance to say:
But everything else isn't... please don't sue me, I am not rich, you wouldn't get anything anyway...

Author's note: Thanks to all my reviewers again... I hope to write more soon... well, I'll see how well my writers block feels with me this time... I hope it feels really bad and leaves me again! ;-)
Always nice to meet fan-girls with suggestions! ;-) I will consider that the next time Ron or his brothers show up:-P

Chapter eleven

Harry reached the DADA classroom not much later.

It seemed that Professor Riddle had decided to skip the breakfast too, which could only be a very lucky coincidence.

"Good morning, Harry!" he greeted him: "What can I do for you?"

Harry was a little out of breath because he had hurried so much to come here but when he finally was able to talk again he asked: "Where are your last two Horcruxes?"

For a second he had really thought that it was a good idea to ask this straight away.

Voldemort looked astonished: "What's a Horcrux?"

Harry sighed: "Uh, I'm not so sure, but they should be things holding parts of your soul and well, you cannot die as long as there are any left!"

You-know-who looked as if something had dawned on him finally: "Oh, you mean the things I made to make the plot thicken and give you something to do before the final battle?"

Harry nodded: "Yes, these things… so where are they?"

Professor Riddle whistled silently before saying: "I forgot… I got bored playing with them and forgot where I put them!"

Harry sighed loudly: "Listen, I know that one of them is your snake… and one should be something from Rowena Ravenclaw or Godric Gryffindor…"

"Oh, Nagini… well, she's sleeping in the other room, but she's cranky when you wake her up too early, so I wouldn't enter there!" Voldemort explained in a calm tone: "You see, I actually dislike snakes, but it's fun to have Wormtail transfigure into a rat and give Nagini some exercise!"

Harry frowned: "It might be scary, but I think that's funny too!"

"We have so much in common, Harry!" Voldemort exclaimed happily.

"Uh, yeah, sure… anyway, so what do you own which belonged to Rowena Ravenclaw?" the boy asked finally.

Voldemort thought about this for a long time: "I fear I'll have to say nothing… interestingly enough she left everything she ever owned to the church of England and as they found out she had been a witch they burnt everything, you see? Well, this happened centuries before I've been born, so I cannot have anything of her belongings! Unless I owned a timeturner and had turned it for about a million times or more often, but then I wouldn't have known how to come back to the present and the whole time turning thing is just too confusing to use it!"

Harry frowned yet again, which would surely cause him to have rather bad folds at an early age: "But the only thing which belonged to Godric Gryffindor is that sword, and Dumbledore had an eye on that, so it's impossible you got that one as a Horcrux!"

Only after a few moments it dawned on him: "Oh wait, those boxer shorts I got from Dumbledore… they said Godrc Gryffindor too! Only you wrote a message on them saying they were not a Horcrux!"

Lord Voldemort sighed yet again. "Harry, listen, you are the hero of this story, you are supposed to be able and think a little at least!"

Harry thought a little at least but didn't get what he had been talking about.

"I still don't know what you meant!"

"Uh… you, good guy… good guy, doesn't lie much… me, bad guy… bad guy, lies all the time! Count two and two together!" Voldemort gave him a hint.

Harry thought for a long while again and then exclaimed happily: "FOUR!"

"Pardon?"

"You said: Count two and two together!" Harry explained, "Besides, I knew from the beginning that you were actually using the boxers as a Horcrux and I am already about destroying them!"

Professor Riddle nodded satisfied: "And how do you want to do this?"

"I'll wear them until they get all old and disgusting and then I'll throw them away!" Harry explained his genial plan.

"Why don't you just destroy them to get it over with?" the Professor asked after a little while.

"We are not at the end of the year yet. I cannot kill the DADA teacher before the final exams… not again!" Harry stated.

Then there was silence between them for a moment before Harry spoke again: "Why don't you try to kill me though?"

"Harry, Harry, Harry…" Voldemort said in a doubting tone "I cannot try to kill you before the end of the year either, where's the fun in teaching you when I cannot let you fail your exams?"

"One more thing, is that snake really your last Horcrux then?"

"I already told you I didn't remember…" Voldemort answered, "But it would fit my character, wouldn't it?"

Harry nodded. After all that was why Dumbledore had thought that Nagini was the Horcrux at all. And Dumbledore had never been wrong, had he? Well, he had believed in Snape, which wasn't wrong from all he had learnt that year. So it seemed Dumbledore might have been right about Severus unless JK thought otherwise.

But he had never found out about the evilness of the DADA teachers until they had tried to kill Harry, which was one thing Harry took rather personal.

He pushed those thoughts away however and went on believing that Dumbledore was just right about everything.

Harry took a look at his watch and then asked: "Hey, can I stand here now, classes should start soon anyway… third year, isn't it?"

Voldemort nodded: "Yes, third year is pretty cool, you see, and it has been the only year I haven't tried to kill you!"

Harry agreed.

"Our lesson will be on Werewolves!"

"We've had that one with Snape back then!" Harry explained.

Voldemort laughed: "The old bat talking about werewolves… he should have taken Vampires!"

Harry nodded again and then he asked: "Is this a hidden message saying that Professor Snape is in fact a Vampire?"

Professor Riddle laughed again: "Of course not! He just really is an old bat… it should have been a joke… as if I would tell you that I call him Batman for a nickname!"

Harry laughed: "Yes, a good one… really good one!"

Voldemort looked around nervously for a moment and then said: "But don't repeat this around his fan-girls… I did once… the scars will never fade!"

Harry nodded understanding and then they stood around waiting for the end of the scene because there was nothing more to say right then.

And finally the end of the scene came!