Once inside the counseling room, Chrissy, Mitzy, and the patients, whose names were Miroku and Sango, sat down.
"So…" began Chrissy. "Inkblot?" she asked Mitzy. Mitzy nodded and held up a card. "What do each of you see?" she asked.
Sango answered first. "An evil demon."
Miroku looked surprised. "Really? I think it's a beautiful woman."
Sango glared at him. Chrissy and Mitzy shared nervous glances, wondering if they were about to witness a murder. "Um, Inkblot 2!" She said quickly, holding up the second card.
Sango, distracted for the moment, looked at the card. "It's my brother!" She yelled, snatching the card from Mitzy. Mitzy sweatdropped. "Word association?" she suggested.
Chrissy nodded. "Um, I'll say a word, and you guys say the first thing that comes to your mind, ok?" Sango nodded, still hugging the inkblot.
"Life,"
"Slaying demons," said Sango.
"Women," said Miroku.
"Love?"
"Revenge," said Sango.
"Women," said Miroku.
"Hobby?"
"Training," said Sango.
"Picking up women," said Miroku.
"Sadness?"
"My brother," said Sango.
"No women," said Miroku.
Mitzy and Chrissy looked at each other. "You may return to the waiting room for a break."
Omake – Bloopers and Blunders(1)
(offscreen, in the waiting room)
(Mitzy and Chrissy walk in)
Chrissy: Heya Flueky. Watcha doing? (glances at the computer)
Mitzy: O.O; Eeep!
Flueky: Hey! Go away!
Chrissy: Geez, how do they get into those positions?
Mitzy: That looks painful…
Flueky: Quit looking over my shoulders!
Chrissy: Ok, ok…I still think those circus contortionists would break some bones…
Mitzy: Yeah…Hey, tell me that camera isn't recording.
(2)
(Mitzy is driving)
SPLAT!
Chrissy: Do you just hate mailboxes!
Mitzy: … That…wasn't a mailbox…
Chrissy: o.o; What was it…?
Mitzy: OMG! It was Darke!
(Darke in 3 ½ in form is plastered on the windshield)
Darke: Ouch…
Mitzy: OMG! We need to get him to the vet!
Chrissy: Vet! He's not a pet!
Mitzy: Well, would a doctor be able to treat a chibi Darke?
Chrissy: I don't know!
(Darke is hanging on to the windshield wiper)
Darke: Not to interrupt, but I'm sliding off the windshield here! (Mitzy is still driving)
Mitzy: Oh, sorry! (slams on brakes)
(Darke fliesssss…)
(Thump.)
Chrissy: o.o; Um, maybe we should just call 911…
Mitzy: I can't! I don't know the number!
Chrissy: How can you not know the number? It's just 9 and 11!
Mitzy: There's no 11 on this phone!
Darke: x.x Owie… Can I have a scotch? Or a Tylenol? Or both?
Darke is an online friend of ours. In his chibi form, he's a 3 ½ inch bandana-wearing guy with bat wings.
Chapter Three – Alchemic Anger ManagementBack in the waiting room, there was a crash of glass as two unidentified men came through the door, quite literally. Both had braids, but that was about as far as the resemblance went. One was relatively tall, with a black cap and a braid that reached to his knees. Chrissy glanced at Mitzy, who was visibly drooling. She gently pushed Mitzy's jaw back into place. The other, a blonde in a red coat was chasing the first in circles, apparently intending him great bodily injury. Meanwhile, the other patients were watching the spectacle with great interest.
"Geez, chill out! I didn't mean to insult your itty-bitty ego!" yelled the brown-haired one as he ducked behind the patient with the gun. Mitzy and Chrissy wondered if this was really a very safe hiding place. "Heero, help me out here! And where's Wufei?"
The man with the gun, Heero apparently, casually aimed the gun at the guy behind him. "You're late, Duo," he said coldly, "and Wufei managed to escape. Lucky bastard…" Heero held Duo's attacker at bay with one hand, while still keeping Duo at gunpoint.
"Gomenasai! I didn't mean to be so late!" Duo shouted over the string of curses the braided blonde was shouting. " Some crazy person's car was parked across the only three open spots!"
Chrissy looked over at Mitzy sternly, while Mitzy mumbled a barely audible "Oops."
"Ummmm…We can take the next patient now." Chrissy called. Mitzy piped up. "In fact, I think we can take the short one there."
At this, the blonde seemed to lose it. "Do not call me SHORT! My name is EdwardElric! You know, the Fullmetal Alchemist?"
Mitzy and Chrissy looked at each other. "Can't say we've ever heard of you, sorry," said Mitzy.
"But I think some anger management counseling could do you a world of good," Chrissy finished.
And so the two psychiatrists dragged him into counseling.
Once they were in the office, Mitzy locked the door. "Now," she said calmly, "Why don't you tell us your problem?"
Edward, who was being forcibly restrained in a chair by Chrissy, growled, "What problem? I don't have a problem."
Chrissy and Mitzy exchanged glances. "We think you do," said Chrissy. "Oh, yes," said Mitzy, "You most definitely have problems. Now, I'll say a word, and you say the first thing that comes to mind, ok?
Ed glared.
"Temper," said Mitzy.
"My temper is fine."
"Life?"
"Can't be created."
"Family?"
"Al."
"Fire?"
"My house."
"Hand?"
"Metal."
"Short?"
"AM NOT!"
Mitzy finished taking the notes. "Well, I think we know what the problem is. Now, let's find out why."
Chrissy let go of Ed, who was now thoroughly tied to the chair. "I'm going to swing this watch, and you are going to watch it closely."
"Hey! That's MY watch!" Ed shouted, recognizing the symbols.
"Shhh. Just watch the watch. Waaaatch the waaatch…" Chrissy said, swinging the State Alchemist's watch in front of his face.
"Now, tell us about your life. When did the problems start?" Chrissy asked.
"When that freak out there called me pipsqueak and you guys kidnapped me."
"Um, how about a little earlier than that?" Chrissy suggested, holding Mitzy at bay. The shrink was about to kill the patient for calling Duo, whom she obviously had a crush on, a freak.
"Um, well. My dad left us. My mom died because she missed him, and I made her flowers, and people called me short, and we tried to resurrect our mom, and I almost killed my brother, and I lost my arm and leg, but Winry made me some automail, so now I have a kick-ass arm and leg, but my brother is a suit of armor, and-"
"Ok, ok." Chrissy said, pocketing the watch. "I think that's fine for now. You may wait for us in the waiting room," she said after she untied him.
Ed stumbled out of the room in a daze. Chrissy made a gesture indicating the guy was a basket case, and Mitzy nodded. "The world's full of 'em," she said. "Which is a good thing. More money for people like us."