Chapter Four

River had cried herself to sleep that afternoon, and by the time Simon had found her she had dry, if somewhat puffy, eyes. Her brother was radiating happiness, glowing with ecstasy at his newly coupled state. It just meant that she was more alone than ever. No brother, no best friend… no husband.

Simon came and went, none the wiser that he'd woken her up. River rose from her bed consumed with a raging anger towards Jayne. He had turned his back on her, like she was some nameless whore, and that was just fine by River. He wouldn't have been faithful. He didn't believe in kissing on the lips. He just liked those stupid dolls he sometimes visited when they were planetside, and the pictures he kept above his bed.

He was so far beneath her on an intellectual level it wasn't funny. By comparison, he was the ape Simon had named him. He had the emotional development of a dog - serve your master, get a treat. All that really mattered to him was his paycheck and his guns. It was just as well, River thought. He didn't want a crazy wife, and she didn't want a philandering husband.

River pulled her thoughts away from her estranged husband. It was no good thinking about it. She looked around to find herself in the cargo bay, a knife in one hand and a scrunched up bunch of photos in the other. She watched, as though she were another person looking on, as she dropped the photos on a crate and brought the knife down again and again, stabbing the pretty dolls. "Delilahs' wrapped up in satin. Naughty apples."

River frowned down at the now shredded photographs. She turned her gaze to the knife in her hand. What had she done? She had killed the dolls! The knife clattered to the deck and River raced back to her bedroom and hid. Simon would be angry. Captain would be angry. Jayne would be furious. Had she just ruined their chances of a safe home? She wasn't supposed to touch knives, and no wonder when she did things like that when they were in her hands.

Simon wandered the ship looking for his sister. He had returned from swallowing his foot with Kaylee to find River missing from her room. It wasn't that he thought something was wrong, just that he always worried about her if he didn't know where she was. And this was something he could fix.

The problem with Kaylee however, was a bit more complicated. His breeding dictated that he keep those sorts of displays to bedrooms, or at the very least private places where they weren't likely to be disturbed. He knew it was his own fault for starting the game, but he just saw her and she'd looked so beautiful… So when Mal had come in, he'd responded out of guilt for dishonoring the pretty young mechanic. He couldn't help his upbringing. He'd left behind his whole world to come out here, and had had to suppress most his morals just to survive. One of the only things he had left was the way in which he treated others, showed his respect and therefore his regard for them. He didn't want to embarrass Kaylee, or give her anything to regret. He didn't regret one moment of his time with her.

He had come full circle in his search for River, back to her room. And he still had no idea what to say to Kaylee - sorry seemed so inadequate.

His sister was crouching in the far corner, whimpering into her hands. Immediately, Simon rushed to her side. "Mei mei, what's wrong?" He tried to pull her to her feet, but River refused to move. "River?"

"Didn't mean to do it. Didn't mean it," she mumbled.

"Didn't mean what?" Simon asked, drawing her into a hug.

"Didn't mean to do it," River repeated. Her head snapped up and she looked her brother dead in the eye. "He won't make us leave will he?"

Simon didn't know what she'd done, so he couldn't say, but that didn't really matter did it. "River, we're part of Mal's crew. He's our Captain, he doesn't abandon his crew." She smiled weakly at his attempt, but he could tell she didn't really believe it. "Come on. Lets go get some dinner."

River shook her head. She didn't want to take the chance that Simon was wrong.

"We've got fresh vegetables…" Simon tried to entice her further. But he felt none of the joy that statement usually elicited, his faux pas with Kaylee had clouded that particular pleasure.

River cocked her head to one side. Simon had done something wrong with Kaylee… again. He needed her help to fix it. River sighed. "Brother's are such a trial."

Simon took that to mean yes and smiled. He helped her to her feet, and led her to the dining room. To be truthful, Simon was starting to lose his appetite, and it was River who dragged him the last few feet. The second they stepped into the mess he froze completely. Kaylee was laughing, a full-bodied, melodic sound, and helping Mal take dishes from the kitchen to the table.

"Kiss her," River whispered into her brother's ear.

Kiss her? If only it were that simple, Simon wished.

"Show her you're still upgrading," River urged.

"Ain't no reason to stand on ceremony," Mal called out to the pair. "Come on in so we can start eating."

Kaylee had turned around at the Captain's words, her eyes wary as Simon caught them. They're all here, he realized, everyone. He'd made the mistake of running when Mal discovered them, so…

Simon surged into the room and within moments held Kaylee's face in his hands. He pressed a hard kiss to her lips, hoping that she would respond under his assault. His tongue darted out to slide along her lower lip, hoping… praying… Kaylee's mouth opened beneath his and she started kissing him back, her body melting into his. She tasted like heaven, and at this moment Simon knew he was the luckiest man in the entire 'verse.

For the most part the crew responded with silence, then there was a snigger from Mal, a chuckle from Book, and "Well I can see Simon's got his dinner, can the rest of us eat now?" from Wash. The couple broke apart, a sheepish smile on Simon's face, and a fully satisfied grin emanating from Kaylee.

"I'm sorry I was such an idiot," the young doctor apologized.

"It's ok." Kaylee wrapped her arms around his waist and led him to a chair. "I'm used to it." In fact she was ecstatic. Simon had done it again. She had guessed at his reasons for jumping away when Mal had come upon them. And their Captain had suggested a few himself as he'd helped her finish dinner. Simon was a private person, and like he'd once told her – showing her respect was his way of showing he liked her. Mal had suggested that maybe he'd felt that making out with her in public wasn't very respectful.

"So can we eat now?" Wash asked as Simon, Kaylee and River sat down.

Mal shook his head. "We're still waiting on Jayne."

All of a sudden a howl of rage was heard from the cargo bay. The table's occupants looked at each other in surprise, all but River who, ashen faced, kept her eyes on her plate. Heavy boots pounded up the stairs, and a very angry Jayne burst into the dining room.

"Who the hell's been in my bunk," he demanded to know.

River sneaked a peak. He had found both the knife and what was left of the pictures, just as she'd suspected.

"I wanna know who's been messin' with my stuff!"

Mal sighed, but asked the question anyway. "All right, fess up. Who's been in Jayne's bunk?"

No one answered, but just looked around at everyone else to see who would raise their hand. Jayne stared each crewmember down, trying to ferret out the guilty party. Finally his gaze fell on River. He wanted to look away, but he saw the admission in her eyes. "Ruttin moonbrain!"

Translation
Mei mei - sister