S H A R P I E
Chapter I
Suze
Dear Mr. De Silva:
Due to your excellent recommendations by several college professors and hospital patients, we, the Board of Directors of the Armed Forces of the United States of America, have decided to enlist you as a military doctor for the United States Army.
The position that we have reserved for you, should your answer be affirmative, is that of a military doctor's. Your duties consist of . . .
Please contact us with any questions regarding your position that you might have.
Yours truly,
General D. Hoffman
The Army of the United States of America.
"Jesse," I said, "please tell me this is just a joke." I set the letter down on the table nearby and looked him square in the face.
"Querida," he said. Damn, I STILL haven't figured out what that word means, and yet it makes me melt like butter in a frying pan. "It isn't a joke. But, please, you have to know that it is the right thing to do." Then he wrapped his arms around me and kissed me.
Stay strong, Suze. Don't melt . . .
Okay, I am officially a puddle of goo.
Damnit. Why is it that I can never resist this guy, even after four years of dating and making out?
Yeah, we've been together for four years. Pick your jaw up from the floor now, please.
He proposed to me late last year . . . on Boxing Day, actually. God, it was so romantic. Even after six months of being the future Mrs. Jesse De Silva, the memory could still make me melt.
But - uh . . . we still haven't actually done it yet. Jesse said to wait until we're married. Or wait until the right moment. But, really, when is the right moment? Personally, every time I'm with him, it feels like the right moment. Er - well . . . that could also be because I am a horny 25-year old woman who hasn't had sex in 5 years. Yes, that could be it.
I hate to admit this, but his old-fashion consideration had me climbing the walls. Who waits for . . . well, their wedding night these days?
Okay, I'll admit it, I lust after the guy. But seriously, who wouldn't?
I mean, that smile, those eyes, those ABS . . . they were enough to make a girl swoon. And drool. And go completely nuts.
And they were all mine! Mine mine mine mine mine . . . Ahem. Er, sorry; lost my control back there for a minute.
But anyway, back to reality . . .
I was still in Jesse's embrace, trying to resist his kisses. It really wasn't working to my advantage though. His kisses were like chocolate; addicting, delicious and something that I crave for almost every minute and second.
"Jesse," I said, breathing rather raggedly, "please."
He knew this was important; serious. So he unwrapped his arms from around me - albeit reluctantly - and sat me down next to him on the couch.
"Querida . . ." He started hesitantly, staring down at the floor, refusing to meet my eye. "I . . ."
"You're going," I stated rather than asked. "Aren't you?"
"Yes," he answered, forcing himself to meet my gaze. His eyes were guilty, but filled with conviction too. "I have to go, Susannah. It's . . . well, it's a great honour, to serve one's country."
"Are you insane?" My breathing was starting to get ragged, but still I fought to keep my voice even. "Do you even know what this is, Jesse? I-It's a war. They're asking you to g-go serve in a war."
"But I won't be fighting, querida," He took hold of one of my hands and started to stroke my palm gently. "I'll be there as a doctor, only to care for the sick and wounded. I won't be at the front lines . . . It'll be absolutely safe for me. I wouldn't be anywhere near the actual fighting."
"But Jesse, just being out there isn't safe. Do you think the bombs have eyes for something? They could very well drop another Fat Man or Little Boy on the site you're working on!" I said frantically, saying anything, everything that could come to my mind that might just be able to dispel this . . . ridiculously noble notion of him going off to war. God, this wasn't the medieval era anymore; men didn't have to go fight in a war just to prove that they were brave, honourable, and just!
"Please, don't go," I pleaded.
"Querida . . ." He started, but my lips muffled the rest of his sentence. I broke away from the kiss and hugged him hard. "Please, don't go. For my sake, don't risk your life there," I said against his shoulder.
"Susannah, think of all the people I'll be saving. Innocent civilians, men who do great service to their country . . . . If I go, there will be one more doctor, one more extra chance to ensure that they live. That they wouldn't die fighting for their country," he said. He hugged me back.
It took so much for me to not cry.
"Jesse, what about me? I just . . . why is the idea of saving the world so important to you? Why can't you be a little more selfish and think about yourself? About our future?" My arms tightened around him. "About me?"
"Susannah..." Jesse went in this pained voice. God, why was he so foolish? So . . . noble? I felt tears starting to leak out of the corners of my eyes. "Querida," he coaxed, kissing my forehead. "I have the opportunity of a lifetime. I have the chance to save many lives. And . . . and I wish to do just that."
"But . . . I . . ." The tears started coming faster.
"Dios, Susannah, don't cry. Por favor. Please." He pulled away slightly and brushed my tears. I pulled away abruptly, mentally dreading what I was to say.
"Alright. You can go to Iraq to serve in the war." I wrapped my arms around myself. "Just . . . just take c-care of yourself, okay? I don't know what I'll d-do if s-something happens to y-you." Then I turned back to face him. "Just don't try and be a hero, Jesse; serve and come home."
"Oh, querida. I knew you'd understand," Jesse pulled me to him and started kissing me again. God, I love him so much.
"Jesse, wait." I pulled away from him again and raised my hand to his face, tracing my fingers lightly over his handsome, familiar features. "I want you to promise me something. Do NOT try to be a hero. Promise me that. No matter what you do, place your own safety above all other things. I don't want you doing something foolhardy like risking your life to rescue others."
He kissed me forehead again. "I promise, querida."
"Good. T-That's... good. Now . . . where were we?" I flicked his hair away from his forehead, and trailed my hand down, running lightly over his strong, straight nose and coming to rest on his lips. I leant forward again and brush my lips lightly over his, noting the change of his breathing.
It was nice to feel so powerful; that even after four years, I could still affect him with a single kiss. And close-mouthed one too. I guess . . . this is love.
"Querida, " Jesse said, his voice slightly huskier than before. He slipped his arms around me and pulled me onto his lap. (A/N: evil cackle) "You... you're not mad at me anymore?"
"Who says I'm mad? Did I even say I was mad? Hmm?" I ran my hand across his shoulders. God, I love them. His shoulders, I mean. All hard and tan and muscle-y . . . Mmhmm. Seems like all those helping out at his dad's ranch during summertime paid off. Ooooh, shirtless Jesse . . . I can just imagine him hauling stacks of hay or something; and then those muscles will glisten with sweat and--
BAD Suze.
"Besides," I whispered, while nibbling on his ear - an endeavour which had my dearest fiancé shivering with delight, "I can never stay mad at you for long."
"Good," he said, while wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me closer to him. My roaming hands decided to work their way under Jesse's shirt, feeling every inch and crevice. And then I smashed my lips on his, kissing him with so much fervour and zest, that it was rather overwhelming. "Susannah," he moaned against my lips.
Is it getting hot in here, or is it just me?
When I broke away from the kiss, due to lack of oxygen, I realized that we had gotten a little - erm . . . horizontal. Eh, who cares?
As soon as I caught my breath, I dove down again for another mind-numbing kiss. Jesse groaned against my lips. Then I felt his hands snake up theback of my halter top. "Jesse . . ." I groaned. My hands happened to be under his shirt, massaging his impeccable abs. Those yummy, scrumptious, washboard abs . . .
Erm . . . Suze, stop groping the poor man.
Then his hand was under the front of my shirt. Soon enough, I felt one of his hands rest on and cup one of my breasts. And - well, that kind of surprised me. Sure, we've done this before. But not as much as I would have liked.
And all I could think at that moment was: KEEP HIM GOING, SUZE!
So I removed my hands from his shirt and began tugging at the hem of it. The shirt, I mean. We broke away from our lip-lock to remove his shirt. It fell practically noiselessly to the floor. And then I gawked at the purely masculine chest in front of me.
Wow.
Now I know why Troy was such a box-office hit.
I guess Jesse got tired of me ogling him, since he pulled me back toward him and kissed me hungrily. Mmm . . .
Jesse is really in the zone tonight.
He put his hands under the sides of my shirt and gently lifted it off of me - us briefly separating to do so. And then he un-clipped my bra, letting it hang on my shoulders. I shrugged it off and it fell to the ground, just like our shirts.
Uh-oh. Jesse's never done that before. He's removed my top, sure, but never my bra.
Okay, don't think negatively. Maybe he thinks this is the right time. Yeah, that's it.
And then Jesse was staring at my naked chest; admiring it, I guess. Yeah, guys have, in the past, stared at my chest. Not that I've had MUCH experience in the guy department, but I take that as a good sign.
"Like what you see, Jesse?" I said innocently, running my hands up and down his fine chest. He tore his eyes from my breasts to look at my face. And then a huge grin broke out across his face. Okay, I take that as a very good sign.
Then I felt something on my thigh, as I was leaning over him. It didn't register what it was at first. But when I realized what it was, let's just say I was VERY pleased with myself.
And before I knew what was going on, he scooped me up and brought me into his bedroom (we, sadly, didn't live together - Jesse said that it isn't 'appropriate' to do that out of wedlock). He set me down on his king size bed (hmm . . . this bed could be put to good use . . . ) and climbed over top of me. Meanwhile, I was still topless.
He planted a feather-light kiss on my lips. Then he trailed down my neck, leaving white-hot kisses in its wake. He continued down my collarbone, until he reached before my breasts. He looked up to my face, our eyes locking.
Then he kissed between my breasts and down my stomach, to my waist, his eyes on mine the entire time. I moaned from his touch. The things he made me feel were incredible. It was like . . . my skin came alive when he kissed or touched me. Like he was lighting a fire within me.
Incredible.
"Querida," he said raggedly, "you . . . you are so bonita." Now, I didn't know what that meant, but it sounded good, the way he said it. It sounded very good, coming from him.
I take it as a compliment.
And then all of his confidence disappeared before you could say "More, Jesse!". He blinked at me from where he was.
"Susannah," he stammered, "I - uh . . ." He covered me with the sheet that he had. "We . . . shouldn't be doing this. Not yet."
I sighed, frustrated. "Jesse," I said, throwing the sheet off of me and pulling him closer. "Can you honestly tell me that you don't want to?"
He looked away from me, blushing. Ah, I see. "I-its not that I don't want to, querida. We just shouldn't be doing this out of---"
"---wedlock. I know." I was about to lean up a bit and plant a very nice kiss on his lips, but he turned his head.
"No," he said. "I . . . Susannah . . ."
Okay, I was very put out now. The warm, fuzzy feeling I had before disintegrated and was replaced with mild anger.
"Querida, I just don't want to take anything from you. You deserve better . . ." he trailed off. He got off of me completely, sitting on the edge of the bed. He put his face in his hands and groaned (but not in the sexual way he had before).
"Take anything from me? What do you --- OH . . ." I said, realizing what he meant.
He still thought I was a virgin. Oh, how wrong he is. I mean, I'm not a slut. I don't sleep around. I've slept with two other guys before Jesse, because I thought they were right for me. The first turned out to be an asshole - he dumped me a few days after we had done it. The second was better, but then he cheated on me in the end. Jesse, though, he was good to me. I knew he wouldn't do that to me after we did the dirty, so to speak.
"Jesse," I laughed, coming up behind him, pushing my bare chest into his back. I kissed his cheek and said, "I . . .oh, how do I say this . . . ?"
"Querida, I think maybe you should go home now," he said. But he sounded disappointed almost, like he didn't really want me to leave.
I groaned angrily. "Jesse, look, I'm not - I'm not as pure as the driven snow, or however that saying goes." I put my hands on his shoulders to turn him around, but I really didn't need to, since he turned around pretty quickly.
"What?" he asked abruptly.
I sighed. "I'm not a virgin, Jesse. There, okay, I said it. I-I've had sex before. I mean, God, I'm 25, Jesse, you can't expect me to . . . to . . ."
He looked at me, confused. "Querida?" he asked questioningly.
"I've been with guys before, Jesse. It's the 21st century, for God's sake. It's okay to do that before you're married. Its not considered a mortal sin anymore, Jesse," I explained. Where had those words come from though? They were just spilling out of my mouth. Hey, they sounded pretty good. If it gets Jesse to see it my way then I really could care less.
He looked at me, his face deadpan. "Susannah, I don't know---"
"Jesse," I said. "Look, I'm not making you do anything, but I'm trying to make you see that this---" I motioned the 'us' bit. "---is okay."
I saw a faint smile appear on his face. Good, I thought, he's starting to understand.
"This is the right moment for us, Jesse, I know it."
A/N: Maddy here again. REVIEW, or... we won't write anymore fluff, lemons or limes of any kind. –snicker-