Aeris, Aeris, you stupid girl. Why are you coming? You know Hojo wants you. You know what he will inflict upon you if he catches you. What could you possibly do against him? Against Talya? Against Minerva? I know that you are a Cetra, but I know also that you are weak. You can heal, but can you fight? No, they will capture you when you reach me. You are walking into a cage, Aeris. Please, don't come.
I don't know why I called for you. I did not mean to. I did not mean to... Sephiroth sighed and closed his eyes. I deserve this treatment, Aeris. You don't.
Yes, she does, Jenova hissed in his mind.
He opened his eyes with a frown. Don't start with that. I've had enough of it.
Does she not anger you? Was there no reason why you killed her? You could have been the ruler of this planet! You could have been a god! But no, she ruined it, and you are reduced to this pitiful existence. Don't you hate her for that?
No, he replied with a shake of his head. I am grateful that she stopped me. It would not have made me happy. I would have been more lonely than before.
You are still lonely, and you always will be because they will never accept you. At least, as a god, you could have had whatever else you wished.
You are wrong; Aeris accepted me. She... I regret killing her. That is why I brought her back.
You don't regret it, Jenova stated. You enjoyed killing her.
"No!" he exclaimed aloud, detecting a grain of truth in her words and unable to bear it. "I did not! I did not want to!"
Yes, you did. I distinctly remember you laughing about it to me. You were thoroughly pleased with yourself, and you kept talking about how much you enjoyed the power. So you see, godhood would have indeed made you happy.
Sephiroth buried his face in his hands. "No," he murmured, shuddering. "I did not want to. I would have been miserable. I did not want to kill her, I did not want to become a god."
You know I am right, Jenova said, sounding pleased. You don't remember, but you know it. Killing is what you were created for, my son, and I wanted you to be happy with what power you could have, but the Cetra ruined it.
"And I am glad that she did so."
Now that you have recovered, we can try it again, she persisted. Minerva could help us. She would, if you asked her to. This time, we will kill the Cetra sooner so she will not stand in the way.
"She stopped Meteor from the Lifestream," Sephiroth pointed out absently, trying desperately to keep his thoughts from straying to that moment in the City. He did not want to remember it.
Then we will keep her alive, Jenova amended, though unable to conceal her distaste for the idea. We will take her with us. She can be yours, and the two of you can rule the world together.
"She would not like that," he stated.
We could let her friends live, and anyone else you want. Hojo will die, of course. How would you like that? To live among Aeris and her friends, with the freedom to do whatever you liked?
Would it be so bad, he wondered, to kill those who meant nothing to him or to Aeris? But he thought immediately of the people of Cosmo Canyon, who had accepted him into their village despite his past, and he knew that there were others like them.
"I couldn't," he said. "There are too many innocent people in the world to kill so many."
Then, what if you simply killed those who did wrong, and spared the rest? Would the world not become a utopia? You could be the bringer of justice; would that not make up for your mistakes?
"But... Aeris would..." Sephiroth faltered and began again. "I am one of those who has done wrong, and if they deserve to die for their actions, then I certainly do. And yet, Aeris does not wish me dead."
You are a special case, of course, because your intent was to cleanse the world of evil. If she truly means such things, she understands that you did not know that not all humans were evil. Of course you were angry with them, after what they did to you.
"I cannot wash my hands of those murders by killing even more souls, no matter how black they are. None can be as black as mine."
He could tell that his stubborn refusal to comply with her wishes was beginning to wear on Jenova's patience. What does that have to do with justice? she demanded. So you were a little off the first time. You've been given a second chance.
"By whom? Your cells?" he spat. "A murderer does not prove his worth by killing other murderers."
Then what does he do?
Sephiroth frowned. What would Aeris do? "...he gives them a second chance."
And if they choose not to take it?
"I... I don't know."
Hmm, now what would Aeris say? Jenova asked, mocking.
"I don't know," he repeated.
And you know her so well, she sneered. My son, your impression of her is founded in a few kind words she said to deceive you. You decided to like her simply because she told you what you wanted to hear.
He shook his head, aware that he did not really know Aeris but unwilling to believe this. "She could not have faked that sincerity. She... It isn't possible."
She is flawed, my son, like many other beings on this planet. But, if you will rid the world of its other imperfections, I am willing to make her an exception.
"I can't kill so many. She would not want me to."
Why not? Would the Planet not appreciate more souls to help heal the numerous wounds the humans have created?
Sephiroth's eyes narrowed accusingly. "You are the cause of the largest wound on this Planet. You are the one who keeps it from healing."
And who told you that? Vincent? The Cetra? Elder Hargo? No one told you that. You made it up yourself. The only reason the Planet cannot heal itself is because Shinra's Mako reactors were consuming the energy it needed. There is no reason why I cannot exist on this Planet without causing it harm.
"I did not make it up; I must have remembered it from my past life. You are making up these things to deceive me."
Why would I choose to do such a thing when telling you the truth is all I have ever had to do to convince you of the right course of action?
"And what, exactly, are you proposing to do?" Sephiroth asked, sharply biting off each word.
Kill the flawed humans. There is no point in letting the imperfect beings further pollute their race. The deaths of the flawed will give energy both to you and to the Planet, letting you become even more powerful. Then we can take the throne awaiting us and rule over the pure who remain.
He scoffed loudly. "What constitutes 'perfection'? Where do you draw the line?"
Those who have committed murder, certainly, and other such crimes.
"Are you not aware that I am among them?"
But you are superior to them. Their rules do not apply to you.
He lay back, placing his hands beneath his head and staring up at the blank ceiling. "I have been under the impression that they were superior to me. I ought to beg their forgiveness, rather than punish them for lesser crimes than mine."
You do not need to beg forgiveness. You were forgiven the moment the Planet allowed you to live again. You paid for whatever crimes you may have committed when you died.
"Then I was not forgiven to make the same mistakes again," he decided.
But it isn't the same. You will do things right this time.
"I was planning on it, but you seem to think differently."
True, I would prefer to wipe out every last one of them, Jenova admitted, but I am willing to compromise...
"Compromise? I have no intention of killing anyone but Hojo."
She was silent for a moment, and then her tone shifted subtly. You are aware, of course, that I alone could cause significant destruction. I could even kill you, my son, if I wished. If you refuse to go along with this, I can simply wipe all of you off the face of the Planet and become a goddess on my own. And while that would not be disagreeable, I would prefer to do it another way.
He sat up, frowning. "I cannot allow you to do that."
Then will you accept my proposal? I am not asking much. Together we will destroy the imperfections of this world and rule a paradise.
"No, I will not accept. I will kill you."
You will fail trying.
"Better that I die in that endeavor than join you and kill countless others."
But, you see, if you join me, then you will be saving thousands of them, because if you do not, I see no reason to spare any of them.
"Why do you want me to help you, if you could do it on your own?"
You know the meaning of loneliness, don't you? she asked.
"Yet you would do it anyway, if I refused to aid you?"
It is necessity. The humans harm the Planet, after all. I cannot let them kill it.
"Since when have you cared about the Planet?" he scoffed.
If it dies, I am deprived of a second home. And this time, I have no means of leaving.
Sephiroth stood and began pacing slowly back and forth. "You are being selfish. If I joined you, you would kill them all anyway, despite my wishes."
Since when have I attempted to deny my son the things he wants most? Jenova asked sweetly. Last time, I let you lead, let you ascend the steps towards godhood. I was merely your guard, to be called upon for aid and advice. But you failed; they destroyed you. So, this time, I will take the lead, and we shall succeed. But I will only take your wishes into consideration if you choose to accompany me. Otherwise, you stand in my path.
"But, Mo--" He stopped himself, and his eyes widened at the slip. The thought that he had almost called her by that name filled him with revulsion; he shuddered, and began his pacing anew. "Jenova, I cannot let even those who have sinned be killed. We are of a piece. I will stop you."
How? Minerva is keeping you from using any of your talents. You do not remember them anyway. She laughed. You don't even know where I am! How do you expect to kill me when I am only a voice in your head? Your voice, I might add. I wonder, she continued amicably, as on a new, amusing train of thought, since you cannot remember seeing me, how do you even know I exist? Perhaps you are imagining these things!
"Of course you exist," Sephiroth stated, forcing himself to find the concept absurd. "Too many people know of your presence; Minerva even hears you, as I do."
Well, perhaps there is a Jenova somewhere, but that does not mean I am her, and that she is speaking to you now. With your mind, you could easily be imagining these conversations.
"What are you going on about? You cannot be a creation of my mind. You are too complex for that, and you won't deceive me with these musings. It is simple to differentiate between reality and illusion."
Oh? Is it now? she laughed. Surely you remember--no, you don't, do you? Your puppet Cloud once thought the same, but he had taken another's identity and merged it with his own, creating someone new. Why could you not create the new persona while keeping the old? Perhaps when you read those reports years ago, your mind created me in your distress and confusion. Perhaps you truly are insane.
"Impossible," he scoffed, but he did not feel so confident as he pretended.
He tried to think of something else, but he could not get past all that Jenova had said. Hadn't the Weapons killed humans to help the Planet? he recalled suddenly, and hated himself for the memory.
Yes, that's a good point, Jenova remarked. The Planet itself tried to do the same thing that I am proposing. What is wrong with taking up the work it left off?
Sephiroth shook his head; there had to be something he was missing. "If that was the will of the Planet, then why did Aeris condemn such actions? Tied to the Planet as she is, why does she view human life as a good thing, rather than a virus?"
She enjoys their company, and so she lets this petty emotion get in her way. But you, my son, you wouldn't understand that because you are above such emotions as those. You don't need them. You should not bother thinking of Aeris; she may be a Cetra, but she has little regard for the Planet's welfare when it does not coincide with her own.
"Then why should I bother with you either? If it harmed the Planet to kill humans, that would not stop you from doing so."
This is true, but really, what does it matter? No one can be selfless. It is only natural for me to think of myself and take advantage of certain situations. Why try to hide it?
He ceased his pacing and frowned. He realized suddenly that he could not think of anything that he wanted for himself. His mind simply drew a blank.
You are not selfless either, Jenova told him archly. Think, and tell me what you truly want.
"I want..." He faltered. What do I want? "...want... to see..." The words came slowly, and unbidden; he had no knowledge of what he was saying. "Aeris. I want to see Aeris again," he finished. "And... I want to be forgiven. By everyone whom I've wronged, not just her."
And why do you seek their forgiveness?
"Because they hate me, and that hatred... distances me from them. I can't belong in this world, where they all despise me." He closed his eyes, feeling a memory tickling his mind and wanting to draw it out.
"You know the Professor won't like you being out here," Talya said, frowning and folding her arms beneath her breasts.
"I know," he acknowledged, "but I wanted to see the sun for once."
"That's what windows are for," she stated flatly, her eyes fixed petulantly on the gate.
"I suppose so, but I find this much nicer." Sephiroth was seated cross-legged on the grassy lawn near a small gum tree. It was a marvel to be out here in air that did not smell like musty books and under a lighting that did not bear down on him alone, but rather fell softly upon everything.
"I don't see what you find so interesting out here."
"You seem unusually irritable today," he remarked. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing."
"You can tell me," he said gently, more inclined to be nice out here under the sun. "It isn't as though I have anyone else to confide in."
"I told you, it's nothing!" Talya snapped, still not looking at him.
Sephiroth stared at her for a moment. This wasn't like her at all, but he wouldn't push anything. Instead he got to his feet and wandered to the front gate, upon which her gaze was fixed, and leaned upon it. He knew better than to step out, so Talya said nothing.
A few children were playing near the well in the middle of the town. They looked about Aeris's age, perhaps a little younger, and that thought brought a frown to his face. He had not seen her for months; the Professor had forbidden it, and he had not even caught a glimpse of her since. It made him think that perhaps the Professor was calling for her, too, and that worried him.
One of the children by the well noticed him, and Sephiroth gave a slight start. The little boy straightened from his game and peered at him curiously. Sephiroth tried a smile, but the child seemed almost frightened by the expression, and he soon turned back to the safety of his friends.
Disappointed, Sephiroth turned to Talya. "You can stop sulking now. I'm ready to go back in."
"I'm not sulking," she muttered as they walked back inside.
"...and before they hated me, it was their fear that made me an outcast."
I see. Then you don't want to kill because then they will only hate and fear you more? But, why should you want their acceptance? Is the regard of one or two not sufficient?
He shook his head. "If I agree to your plot, I will lose the acceptance of those I spare. Even if they do not know those I kill, they cannot sanction it."
You are thinking of Aeris again. I told you, she is selfish. If she cared more about the Planet, she would approve of this idea.
"But she does not approve."
Why should that matter so much to you? Jenova snapped irritably. I don't understand it.
Sephiroth sat down on the hard mattress of his bed and stared down at his feet. "Neither do I."
What if she did approve? Would you agree to my plan then?
"Perhaps." Yes.
Think on it. If you can find no answer to why you desire a sanction from her, then I expect you to concur with me. Do we have an agreement?
Sephiroth refused to answer.
I need a definite answer soon.
"Why are you in such a hurry?" he asked.
Because things seem to be moving in a direction that is quite favorable for us.
"How so?"
I cannot tell you, because I know not where your allegiance lies.
He smirked. "Afraid of me? I thought it would be so easy to kill me."
It would be. But I would prefer not to.
"Very well then. I will give you an answer when I remember enough."
Then I will see what I can do to make that happen more quickly for you.
Perhaps he should have used the time to search the mansion for other specimens of Hojo's, he considered. But he had not seen Aeris in two years now, so for all he knew, Hojo had taken her and her mother to his lab in Midgar, and so he had a different plan in mind.
He stepped into the library with a strange sense of freedom. The Professor had left for Midgar for a few days, gods knew why, and Talya lay unconscious in Sephiroth's room, under a spell that he had only just puzzled out. Really, it felt very little like magic, but he knew not what else to call it. He had felt his way into her mind, grasped at her thoughts, and set in place a ghost, a new memory of something that had not really happened. He would be back by the time she awoke, and she would think that he had merely knocked her unconscious for a few moments after a sparring match.
A small part of him felt uneasy about such a deception, but he quelled that feeling, telling himself that she had done worse to him.
And so Sephiroth entered what was normally a place of dread free of both his tormentors. He had read the other books in the mansion, but those here had always been out of his reach. He scanned the titles with his eyes, searching for something that looked promising. He did not know how Hojo referred to him in his notes. Indeed the only number he knew was Aeris's.
A cluster of titles caught his eye, a few slim volumes different from the rest: VV-01 and TK-02, and beside them a long string of characters, L-P1-S-A02-C01. TK he recognized immediately--Talya Keagan--and it did not surprise him that Talya was herself a specimen of Hojo's, if not to the extent that he was. He would have to ask her about it later; that would certainly make her jump. VV, he supposed might be Vincent Valentine. Talya had said that the Professor hadn't wanted him in the way, but that he wasn't dead. Had Hojo changed him somehow, too?
The last set of characters gave him more trouble. He stared at it for a long time before everything clicked into place. Lucrecia, his mother. The last part of the code must have been his own. Sephiroth, supposedly the second Ancient to come into Hojo's hands, and... C01?
He shook his head, found one of his own files, and pulled it down in hopes of finding some clue. The notes scribbled in Hojo's spidery hand, however, soon disgusted him, and he replaced the volume. He would find very little here, he decided, taking a look around. As his gaze alighted on the pair of Mako chambers in the corner of the lab, it suddenly dawned on him.
Hojo is going to clone me.
Sephiroth froze where he stood, staring at the twin chambers. Slowly, not wanting to believe it, he pushed up his sleeve to peer at the tattoo on his shoulder. A clear number '1' was printed there, so that he would never be mistaken for one of the others. One of the clones.
With a shudder, he pulled the sleeve back down to cover the tattoo.
Aeris had been sitting near her mother with her back to the door, when all of a sudden she heard it open. She knew it could only be one of two people, and she knew what that meant. She had tried hiding before, however, and she knew that that would do her no good. She glanced up at her mother and saw the dread on her face turn to surprise, yet some fear lingered.
The seven-year-old followed her mother's gaze to the door and blinked, her face registering surprise as well as a faint recognition. Her fear, contrary to her mother's, vanished immediately.
The boy who entered was quite tall, especially from Aeris's vantage point on the floor. She had to crane her neck to see his face, which was startlingly delicate, framed by silver bangs. His eyes shone a brilliant blue-green, and despite their apparent indifference, she did not fear them in the slightest. She knew she had met him before, and she struggled to remember his name. S... Se...
He closed the door behind him and turned to face her mother, not sparing the child a second glance. He did not venture any farther into the room, and meeting Ifalna's gaze, he seemed a little uncertain.
"What... what are you doing here?" Ifalna asked once she found her voice.
"I came to help you escape," he answered carefully.
"What? Why?"
A frown came to his face, as though he had not expected that question and knew not how to answer it. "You can't want to remain here."
Aeris's mother shook her head. "No, I mean, why should you care about us?"
This question seemed to surprise him, and he glanced at Aeris--I don't want them to hurt you anymore--almost involuntarily. "Why shouldn't I? I am not like the Professor, or Talya."
"But you're... You are the Crisis from th--"
"Don't, Mom," Aeris interrupted anxiously, though she could feel it, too. "He's not."
"But he--"
"He's not!" she exclaimed, louder than she had intended, and clamped a small hand across her mouth, eyes going fearfully to the door. The three held their breaths for a long moment.
"I do not have much time," the boy said softly. "Now, will you let me help you?"
Ifalna's face showed only suspicion and worry as she moved closer to her daughter. "Why now? We've been here for three years with you, and you've only just decided to help?"
He seemed on the verge of answering, eyes straying again to Aeris--I heard you crying in the hallway yesterday. I hadn't known you were here, had forgotten how terrible it feels; I don't let it bother me anymore. I am sorry, so sorry, that I did not act sooner--but he stopped himself and said brusquely, "The reasons don't matter. I will help you whenever you consent, but the sooner you do, the better for all of us."
"Then, if I'm to believe you, how do you expect to help us?"
He shifted uneasily, reluctant to explain. "I can... spirit you away from here. He won't be able to track you, and should you choose a good hiding place, he will not find you again."
The suspicion did not leave Ifalna's eyes. "I don't understand."
"It's the same spell that I use to move around the mansion without the Professor knowing."
"Why didn't you enter that way?"
"I did not wish to startle you."
Ifalna frowned dubiously. "What guarantees do I have that you won't harm us somehow?"
"Only my word."
"I don't trust your word."
Aeris tugged on her mother's arm and looked up at her. "But Mom, why not? Can't you see he's telling the truth? Why'd he want to hurt us?"
"Aeris, dear..."
"Lemme just talk to him, okay?"
Reluctantly, Ifalna nodded her consent, and Aeris got up to approach their guest, staring up into his face.
"Sit down, you're too tall," was the first thing she said, pulling insistently on his arm. He complied with surprising obedience, and she promptly sat down before him. "Now," she began, but stopped, blushing. "Sorry, forgot your name..."
"Sephiroth."
"Right." She hesitated before she went on. "...you be comin' with us?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"I cannot."
Sephiroth shook his head. "I can't tell you. You wouldn't understand." His eyes--If I stay, perhaps he'll be satisfied with me. Perhaps he won't care to search for you. Perhaps I can protect you, by staying behind--were bluer than she remembered, she noticed.
"Oh," she said in disappointment. "I hope you'll be okay."
"I will. It... it's you I'm worried about."--And still am--"You are only a little girl, after all."
Aeris smiled reassuringly. "I'm a big girl. I c'n take care of myself."
He returned the smile, just a little. "You haven't changed a bit."
She got back to her feet, and his gaze followed her. "Will I see you again, d'you think? After we leave here, I mean?"
There was a slight pause before his answer--I don't know. I hope so. But I don't want to give you such an uncertain answer, so, if it pleases you to see me--"Of course."
"Okay." Aeris shuffled back to her mother as Sephiroth stood behind her. "So can we go, Mom?"
"I... suppose it'll be all right." Ifalna remained dubious, but she was looking at Sephiroth with a vague sense of surprise.
"Do you need time to prepare?" the boy asked, the concern that he had shown Aeris now gone from his manner.
"Come again tonight, if you can," Ifalna answered.
"Thanks so much, Sephy!" Aeris said, beaming.
"It is nothing," he replied--It's the least I can do for you, after what you've shown me. I wish I could go with and protect you, but my place is here. I... wonder what it's like out there. Find out for me, please?--attempting a smile. He shifted slightly, murmured something, and disappeared.
"Wow," Aeris said once he had gone.
"I wonder... what that boy is thinking," her mother pondered quietly.
The girl seated herself again on the floor, but found she couldn't sit still for long now that she had something so wonderful to look forward to. "What d'you mean? He just wants to help us, doesn't he?"
"Aeris, dear, I find it hard to fathom why one of his kind would help two Cetra..."
"It dun matter that we're Cetra or that he's... whatever he is. He still cares."
A faint smile came to Ifalna's face. "I do hope you're right."
"I am," Aeris answered, her own smile broad and confident. "I just hope the Professor doesn't find out about it."
"Is something wrong?" Sephiroth queried, watching Talya pace his room and barely able to keep from laughing aloud.
"Aeris and her mother are missing," she answered, her voice almost a growl. "Hojo was ranting at me all morning."
"What does he expect you to do?"
"Find them, of course," she replied in frustration. "I told him that if I left, there'd be no one to guard you."
"And?"
"He told me to shut the hell up."
"I see."
"You don't care, do you?" she snapped, glaring at him as though it were all his fault--which in reality it was. "It amuses you to see me like this, doesn't it?"
"Quite," Sephiroth replied amiably. "But I am also pleased to know they've escaped from this place."
"You aren't jealous of them?"
"Why should I be anything but happy for them?"
Talya sat down in her chair, eyeing him suspiciously. "You didn't even know them," she said. "It's not like you to care about strangers."
"Any 'specimen' of the Professor's is kin of mine."
"Even the monsters he keeps in Midgar?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.
He smiled minutely, a little of his mockery perhaps aimed at himself. "Especially them."
"Sometimes I wonder about you," Talya sighed, shaking her head. She got up and started pacing again, though by now her anger had cooled some. "I'd ask for your help in finding them, but you'd never agree to it, would you?"
"No, never," he confirmed.
After a moment of silence, she turned back to study him again. "You wouldn't happen to have anything to do with this, would you?"
"Me? How could I have?"
"I don't know," she said, throwing up her hands. "But I don't see how they could have disappeared like that. And I know you; this is exactly the sort of thing you'd do to get back at Hojo. No wonder you're so amused; don't you feel proud of yourself?"
"My only regret," Sephiroth said, smiling and leaning back with his hands behind his head, "is that I did not think to help them."
"Then you knew they were leaving? And you didn't tell me?"
Oh, how he enjoyed playing with her. Sephiroth raised an eyebrow. "Why would I?"
Talya frowned, realizing she had asked a stupid question. "You know, of course, that Hojo isn't going to like this..."
The boy only smiled. "I know."
"You don't care?"
"Not really." His smile faded momentarily. "Although I don't see why you have to tell him everything."
She shrugged uncomfortably. "So, if you knew about it, how did they escape? Where did they go?"
His smile of amusement returned readily. "They vanished into thin air."
"Don't play games with me," Talya snapped, growing vexed with his cheerful mood.
"I didn't think you'd believe me. That's the most amusing part of this episode: that you wouldn't believe me if I told you the truth."
She folded her arms, scowling. "Try me."
"All right," he agreed, wondering exactly what he was doing. Did he want to rub it in Hojo's face, that he was only staying because he felt he had to? "I did help them. I used a spell to transport them far away from here."
Talya raised an eyebrow, daring to state this as the truth. "Oh, really?"
"Yes, really. Would you like me to demonstrate? Because you obviously do not believe me."
"What do you mean?" she asked cautiously.
"This," he replied, and promptly disappeared. He reappeared behind her moments later and tapped her on the shoulder.
Talya whirled around, green eyes blazing as she stared up at him. "How did you do that?"
Sephiroth shrugged. "Ask Hojo. He's the one with the library on me in the basement."
"You mean you've read those?"
"Every... single... one."
Growling in anger, she grabbed his arm and practically dragged him out the door until he managed to regain his footing and follow her voluntarily. "Come on," she said gruffly. "I'm taking you to see Hojo."
"Why?" he asked simply, knowing how much it would hurt her. Aren't I being vicious today?
"Because you've broken just about every rule there is to break here."
"No, I mean, why do you insist on telling Hojo? I know you don't like this job of yours."
Talya stopped to glare at him, and though her words were born of anger, he knew they were the truth. "If I don't do it, I lose it, and then Hojo'll get someone else who does it better."
Sephiroth held her gaze silently until she had to look away, tugging him down to the lab where Hojo was working. His smile had disappeared entirely by the time they reached the Professor, but he was not afraid either. He looked down on the scientist with a strange arrogance that he had never before possessed in the repulsive man's presence. Whatever happened to him now, he knew he had freed Aeris from this torture, and that knowledge was enough for now.
Several months had passed since Sephiroth had first heard of the war with Wutai. He gathered that it had been going on for years now, but of course, no one had bothered to tell a mere specimen, especially not here. After he had helped the two Cetra escape, the Professor had transferred him to Midgar, where he supposed the security was better, and where Sephiroth had spent the past two years.
He had not seen Talya since a few months after his arrival in Midgar, and so he had grown used to silence. There were always guards stationed just outside his quarters, but rarely did they attempt conversation, and then it was only out of boredom. Mostly, Sephiroth had stopped responding.
These days, only news of the war gave him any hope. He had difficulty remembering things now, and that worried him. The little Cetra of whom he'd been so fond, he'd forgotten her name. He remembered only her eyes and that he had helped her. As for Talya, he kept her name, but he struggled to recall her face. He knew that sometimes she had spoken to him as a friend, but he'd long since forgotten her words.
He suspected it was Hojo's doing, this blurring state of mind, and at last his thoughts of leaving were becoming more than fancy. The war with Wutai gave him further incentive. Going there, he thought, would be an excellent way to fight the Shinra, and so to get back at Hojo. The scientist had surely promised the company a sort of super-soldier, and thus gotten Shinra to fund his experiment. If Sephiroth fought against them instead, Hojo would suffer the consequences.
Perhaps that was why Hojo was doing this to his memories. If he could remember nothing, they would have a better time of convincing him to fight for them. He would go along with it, because he did not know any better.
He had to leave soon, to prevent that. And now, really, was as good a time as any.
Sephiroth glanced at the guard who stood outside nearly dying of boredom. A simple sleep spell and a short teleportation, and he was out of his cell, crouching down beside the unconscious guard to try to glean some idea of where to flee. The problem with teleporting was that one had to picture the destination. As he could not remember any place clearly enough, the guard's memory would have to suffice.
The man had never left Midgar, but it was enough to find the place farthest from the Shinra building and go. Suddenly he found himself in the midst of a crowded street, and he smiled at the simplicity of it all as he headed for the city limits.
Opening his eyes, he found himself staring up at an unfamiliar wooden ceiling. Where am I...? He closed his eyes again, trying to remember, but all that he could ascertain was that he was lying in a bed more comfortable than any he had known before.
"Are you awake?"
His eyes shot open again. Why hadn't he noticed someone else was in the room? "Hmm," he forced out.
A middle-aged woman was leaning over him. "You certainly are a handsome one," she commented.
He pushed himself up on one elbow. "Where am I?"
She leaned back in her chair and gestured with one hand. "This is Kalm. My husband found you just south of town, unconscious in an area frequented by monsters, so he brought you back here."
He nodded and looked around the room anew. He did not think that he had ever been in a place so... homely-looking. He wondered whose bedroom this was.
"If you don't mind my asking, son, what were you doing out there? We couldn't find a scratch on you."
"Hojo," he muttered under his breath, and the response surprised him. Who was Hojo?
"What was that?"
He shook his head. "I don't know."
The woman frowned anxiously. "Can you say your name for me?"
"Se... Seph... Sephiroth."
"Well, that's something. Can you remember anything else?"
He thought for a moment. Fragments only came to him. His mother was Jenova; she had died during childbirth. His father... he did not know, and it did not matter. He had left somewhere to escape from... No, he had set out to join SOLDIER, that was what it was. But, from where he had come and what had happened along the way, he could not recall. "Yes, a bit," he replied evenly.
The woman smiled encouragingly. "I'm sure you'll get your memory back in time."
He sat up, sliding his feet to the floor. He noticed then that he was wearing nothing more than a pair of pants.
"Don't you want to rest a little longer?" the woman asked in alarm. "I don't think you should be up and about after whatever incident that made you lose your memory..."
"I will be fine," Sephiroth answered. Really, he doubted that, but he knew that lying in bed would not help him to remember anything when this place was so unfamiliar to him. "Where are my clothes?" he queried, his words not far from a command.
"Over there," she replied just a little too quickly, pointing to a neatly-folded pile of black. She watched him uncertainly as he dressed. "Where do you intend on going?" she asked him.
"It is no concern of yours."
"My, aren't you the grateful one?" was the indignant response.
Sephiroth glanced at her with a raised eyebrow. "What have I to thank you for?"
"My husband carried you to shelter, and I've spent quite a few hours watching over you. You're telling me that's nothing to be grateful for?"
He considered this, and bowed his head slightly. "I suppose you are right; you have my thanks, for what it's worth."
"If you can use that huge sword you had with you, you ought to join SOLDIER," the woman suggested when he did not answer her initial question. "They could use a good swordsman."
He nodded, then looked around the room again. "Where is Masamune?" he asked.
"Where is what?"
"My sword."
"Oh, that's downstairs. You're lucky you weren't too far from town, else my husband wouldn't have gone back for it. He practically had to drag it here."
Sephiroth nodded absently and started for the door. He paused when he sensed that she was going to say something and turned back. "I'll waste no more of your time. Goodbye, and thank you." With that, he went down the stairs, took up the Masamune from where it lay near the door, and strode outside without a backwards glance.
"Out of my way. I'm going to see my mother."
"Sephiroth!"
He ignored the boy behind him. He had long since forgotten the SOLDIER's name; it no longer mattered to him. Sephiroth could not remember leaving the mansion or even the stairwell, but he suddenly found himself outside the gate and assumed he had. In a sudden flash of anger?anger at these humans for stealing everything from him?he flung a fire spell at the nearest house and watched with a smile as the flames spread.
On hearing the first scream, he set the next row of houses on fire. At last someone ran from a house, and the Masamune appeared in his hand, becoming a part of him as surely as any limb. He swung the blade, severing the man's head from his body in an artful splatter of blood. The body fell with a thud, the head rolled, and blood ran down the steel of his sword?smooth, slippery, beautifully crimson.
More people ran from their burning homes, and Sephiroth cut them down as well, reveling in the blood and the flickering, blazing, dancing light of the fire. He turned finally, when no more people came to fall before his blade, and strode through the fire to the reactor.
The flames licked at him, at his clothes, but they did not harm him. He could feel the pain, but it was beyond harming him. He wanted the pain; it had always been pain that made him feel alive, and it was today of all days that he wanted to feel alive.
He crouched in wait above the praying girl, watching, waiting. She seemed so innocent, and her face struck his fancy; he'd seen her somewhere before all this, but he could not place the moment. At times he had considered stealing her away for himself, but she had decided to summon Holy, and so he would have to kill her. She would look more beautiful dead anyway.
What are you waiting for? his mother hissed. Kill her now, before she finishes.
He shifted slightly, adjusting his grip on the Masamune. It will better suit our purposes if the puppet sees this.
Not if you wait for him too long.
He noticed a familiar blond making his way down the crystalline staircase, and he smiled. There he is now, Mother. There was no need to worry.
As Cloud approached the praying Cetra, he drew his sword and brought it down towards her, just barely stopping himself in time. He staggered back, shaking his head in horror.
Are you quite finished with your games? Jenova demanded of him.
Fine, fine. Sephiroth leapt from his perch, twisting the Masamune to drive it straight down into her. He saw her head lift slightly, eagerly, and the materia in her hair gleamed a pale blue-green. He was too late, but he did not care enough to stop himself now.
He thrust the blade through her as he alighted on the altar behind her, and he stood there a long moment, watching her blood slip down the edge of the Masamune, watching as she slumped forward and gasped soundlessly. Stepping back, he drew the blade from her; her back arched with the motion, and then she fell.
The puppet rushed forward to catch her before she hit the stone floor, and he knelt there cradling her lifeless form as though he actually cared. Her hair had come undone, and now her head flopped back, exposing a long, slender neck, around which was tied a black ribbon. Her eyes were lightly closed, a faint smile still on her lips.
She did indeed look beautiful in death. Sephiroth smiled, but some voice inside of him would not let him enjoy the moment properly, and the puppet was shouting at him angrily. He replied automatically, paying no attention to his own words.
You killed her, that voice inside of him said in horror, killed Aeris. How could you? Have you forgotten her entirely?
What do you mean?
She cared about you; too long ago, perhaps, for her to remember, but she cared, and you returned that sentiment. She trusted you once, and now you've betrayed her!
She set herself in my path by summoning Holy. What was I supposed to have done?
Spare her, as she would have done for you.
It's too late now. There is nothing I can do to change it.
You could bring her back! You know you could.
But I need that energy! he snapped in protest.
For what? the voice asked bitterly. Your plan to become a god? I suppose if you don't mind killing that many, one life is of no consequence to you, even hers.
Sephiroth scoffed silently. I need no one to care about me.
You're a poor liar. All you have ever wanted is to belong somewhere, and despite everything that you are, she accepted you once. If you stopped this madness and brought her back, perhaps she would again, even after all you've done.
The Cetra girl may be quite beautiful, but she means nothing to me. His business here done, he turned to go.
Sephiroth opened his eyes and stared up at the ceiling, not wanting to remember any more. I... did that?
Yes, my son, you did.
He shut his eyes with a shudder. And I... I enjoyed it.
So, will you join me? Now that you remember everything, surely you'd like to kill them.
Some of them, perhaps, he admitted reluctantly. They were cruel to me. But I was crueler.
They left you alive to suffer. You ended their pain swiftly.
And augmented that of the survivors.
If you had succeeded in your plan, none of them would be alive now to suffer.
And I would be all alone.
I would be with you.
Sephiroth grimaced. I don't want your company.
What, you'd rather have Aeris by your side?
..maybe... Yes... I don't know. He faltered, sitting up and shaking his head. I suppose... I barely know her, after all. Perhaps... perhaps I am only giving her the traits I've always wanted in a... in a friend. I've only known a few kind words from her.
She only spoke to you because she was afraid in your silence, and when she tried to convince you to let Minerva take her, she did so out of her own self-interest. She may speak kindly, but she does so for her own profit.
He could not believe that. Then why did she try to comfort me? Why did she tell me that I had a good soul, that I was kind? Why did she liken me to herself?
To make you seem less frightening. She was right about one thing, though: you are too kind.
If I were, then I would not have killed so many.
I will admit that I pushed you to do it, and that you did not have as much control over the matter as you may have liked... but it was you who put an end to it. It was your kindness that was our undoing.
What do you mean?
You don't remember that part yet?
Sephiroth hesitated, then finally let himself remember the rest. It surprised him, a little. I... I wanted to die, didn't I?
Yes, Jenova answered, with some apparent distaste at the memory. Their words got to you, and you regretted what you had done. You only wanted to die and let Holy do its work.
But you wouldn't let me, he continued with a frown. You made me keep fighting, but you could not take complete control, and so they killed me after all.
Yes.
His frown deepened. Then why are you wasting your time on me, if I'm such a weakling?
Oh, I don't think I'm wasting it.
Then you expect me to join you?
Yes.
"I do not wish to kill anymore," he stated, though he was not as certain of himself as he would like. He felt he needed to say it aloud, else his conviction would fail.
But don't you remember how much you enjoyed setting fire to Nibelheim? Picture the beautiful flames in your mind, the chorus of screams, the blood in the air. Tell me: wasn't it wonderful?
"Yes," he found himself whispering. He gave a start. "No! No..."
And think of when you killed Aeris. Was she not beautiful in death? Did you not enjoy spilling her blood? Try to deny it, if you can.
"I... did enjoy it, didn't I? I cannot deny it... but it sickens me. I want no more of it."
I'm sure you'll soon return to your senses. After all, it would be a pity to waste your best and only skill. You've always been such an efficient killer.
"I know."
"Sephiroth?"
He started; it was Minerva. Straightening, he stared at the adjoining wall for a moment, wondering how much she had heard and whether he had really heard her. "...yes?"
"She is talking to you, isn't she? Trying to convince you to join her?"
"Yes," he answered, hoping that she could provide him with some solution. He did not want to join Jenova, and yet, if he did not, she would...
"Do not pay her any mind; she needs you to make her plans work. If you do not help her, she can do nothing against you." There was a certitude in Minerva's voice that was reassuring, but it was not enough.
Minerva is only resentful because she is trapped here and has not the strength to escape. She hates the fact that she would have to ask for help from anyone, especially me.
"Shut up," Sephiroth muttered.
There was an awkward pause.
"...I wanted to... apologize," Minerva began, her confidence gone. "To you, because I cannot say it to them."
He wished that he could see her face. "Apologize for what?"
"I tried to resist it, but I failed." She sighed, and a hint of self-mockery entered her voice. "Aeris's friends? Sent to rescue you? Severely injured, captured, and it is all because of my weakness."
Sephiroth found that he did not care. "You tried, at least," he offered.
"'Tried' counts for nothing," Minerva snapped harshly. "I should have known that I could not endure it."
He did not know what to say. "I think," he said instead, "that Aeris herself is coming."
"What can she hope to accomplish? She will only get herself captured, and then everything is lost."
Silence.
Sephiroth, my son...
"How did you get to be this strong with her voice always in your mind?"
Minerva's voice had grown softer. "I learned very early never to trust anyone. She spoke little in my childhood, and by the time she began her efforts, I was old enough to reject her lies."
"Does she ever let up?"
"She is being relentless with you, isn't she? Keep hold of your sanity and your convictions. Do not let her change them."
Sephiroth looked down at his hands, by which countless people had died. "I am afraid that I am not strong enough for that. Last time, I..."
"Hold on. Aeris... will be here soon. And then she can save you."
Author's Notes
Though it's never mentioned in the story, that brief scene with Talya and Sephiroth outside occurs shortly after Hojo alters her in the same way he did Vincent. No wonder she's irritable. P
The original version of this chapter contained an encounter between a young Sephiroth and Vincent, which as I recall I had written before even starting Fallen or at least before writing the bulk of the fic. It was interesting, I guess, but I don't think it makes sense for Vincent to just leave Sephiroth in Hojo's care if he could get out of his coffin. I think the scene's merit lay chiefly in the fact that because of Talya's speculations, Sephiroth thought Vincent might have been his father. That's not a route I've ever chosen to take, however, because I think it's a lot more dramatic to keep Hojo as Sephiroth's father. It worked well in Irony of Fate, but not so well for any of my works.
Also cut was a scene when Sephiroth arrives in Midgar and goes to join SOLDIER, mostly because it wasn't really interesting, and I needed to cut as much as I could to make this chapter a reasonable length.