The tables were bare, the musicians had packed up their instruments and left, parents had long since carried their children off to bed, and those who had not already left were leaving now or planned to leave soon. A few had gone to sit at the Candle and gaze into its calming flame, quietly rejoicing in the peace that had been restored. These people radiated content. In the east the sky was paling, though most did not notice it yet.
At one table, a particular redhead sat with his head down and arms sprawled out in front of him. A blond woman had risen from her seat, a look of exasperation on her face, and a pace behind her, a tall silver-haired girl stood as though trying to remain unnoticed. Their two friends had left earlier, and they had not thought to ask them to stay and help, nor had either offered.
"Reno, get up," Elena said, shaking him by the shoulders.
The redhead groaned and buried his head further in his arms.
"Reno," she said again, more loudly. "Get. Up."
"Ow... Turn the volume down, Laney," he mumbled.
She sighed and refused to lower her voice. "Practically everyone's left already. Let's go."
He lifted his head to glare at her with considerable effort. "Shut up. Please."
Elena sighed in exasperation. "Reno, come on. I'm tired."
"Lemme 'lone," he muttered, lowering his head again, nearly letting it thump against the table.
Minerva caught the blond's eye before she could start yelling. "You go on. I will handle him."
She hesitated, then held up her hands in defeat. "All right, you deal with him. Sounds good to me." With a forced smile and a curt good night (though clearly it was nearing dawn), Elena walked off, leaving Minerva to take care of Reno on her own.
The silver-haired girl eyed him critically for a moment before saying softly, "If you stay here, you will only fall asleep again. Would it not be preferable to sleep somewhere comfortable?"
He lifted his head to look at her, expression almost skeptical. "How would you know? You don' care, Min."
She decided to overlook his bluntness. "It is not very difficult to infer it from observation."
"C'n you use smaller words?"
Though she could not help but find the request amusing, Minerva sighed and shook her head. "You do know they may kick you out of here soon."
Reno paused thoughtfully, then straightened, slowly pushed back his chair, and got to his feet, making every motion seem heavy and laborious. "Aight, aight, let's go."
She walked with him in silence back to the home of the shopkeeper where he had roomed the night before, ignoring his grumbling complaints. He stopped at the door to look back at her, scratching his head.
"I, uh... said some pretty stupid things, didn't I?"
Minerva shrugged. "It does not matter."
"Yeah, it does."
"If you wish," she said, "we can talk about it later. But now, you need your rest."
He nodded. "Yeah, you're right." A grin came to his face. "G'night, Min."
She smiled faintly in response. "Good night, Reno."
Seeing the smile, he winked before entering the house as quietly as he could--which really wasn't very quiet, but most of the villagers were probably sleeping heavily after such a night.
Minerva, though, had no place to sleep, and after spending so much time surrounded by people--by friends--she felt a little empty now. So she climbed to the top of the canyon, looking for the one person who she knew would still be awake, and sat down beside him at the cliff's edge. His gaze was on the sky, though she doubted he paid any attention to what his eyes were seeing. She hated to interrupt his thoughts, but she had put this off for far too long.
"Sephiroth?"
"Yes?" he queried automatically, not glancing at her.
"You knew Talya well, did you not?"
He nodded slightly and looked at her now, questioning.
"I have never thought well of her, and Reno has asked me to find out who she was that I may hate her less." She scoffed a little. "What good it will do me now that she is dead, I do not know."
Sephiroth shrugged. "Aeris says that hatred is a terrible thing to hold in your heart."
"And she would know?"
"Why do you think she wanted Hojo dead?"
Minerva only looked at him for a moment, then shook her head. "Then tell me. Tell me about Talya. If she cared, how could she have served Hojo for so long?"
Sephiroth sighed, lay back across the rocky ground with his feet still dangling over the edge, and put his arms behind his head. "She kept her job because she cared about us, not because she didn't."
She situated herself cross-legged beside him, trying to read his expression. It was not cold, yet it gave nothing away. He seemed oddly... relaxed. "You mean to say that she did not want to leave us," she concluded.
"Yes, but there is more to it than that."
"Then explain it to me. Why did she stay after you were gone?"
"She didn't want to leave us with Hojo," he said. "She thought that she could hold him back a little if she stayed. Besides, if she left then, Shinra might have killed her or locked her up. In either case, she would never have seen us again. There was no way she could have taken either of us with her."
"The Professor was weak, then. She could even have killed him. She could have left with us and gone into hiding; surely a Turk knows how to hide. I don't understand why she had to remain."
"I doubt leaving would have been easy for her with you so young," Sephiroth considered. "And once you were older, Hojo could have sent you to kill her."
"Then her staying means nothing to me."
Sephiroth closed his eyes. It seemed he was having difficulty putting his thoughts into words. He was not nearly as good at this as Aeris must have been, but Minerva would not have wanted Aeris's help even had she known Talya.
"Did you ever try to escape?" he asked. "Disobey your orders? Anything that caused you pain?"
"On several occasions."
"And did she come, once she found out?"
"...yes. She always came. But it was only to ask why I tried."
"No; she would have known that you would never have told her. So that couldn't have been her reason. She wanted to make certain you were all right."
"Then why couldn't she have told me that?" Minerva demanded, frustration slipping into her voice. With Sephiroth, she did not care. Who would he tell? "Why couldn't she stop pretending not to care?"
He opened his eyes to look up at her. "Did you ever tell her anything?"
"No. She always lied to me, so I never trusted her with anything."
"Your sense of right and wrong is so much stronger than mine ever was."
"What do you mean by that?"
"I knew she was lying," he said, "but I talked to her anyway, because she was all I had. And after a time, she stopped lying."
"So you are saying that trusting a person forces them to become trustworthy?"
"Not necessarily. But Talya had enough compassion in her that she felt guilty for lying to me whenever I confided in her."
"Did she feel guilty when she beat you as well?" Minerva asked bitterly.
"Yes."
"Did she ever stop?"
"No."
"Why not?"
He sighed. "Talya told me something once... If she stopped doing her job, then Hojo would simply find someone else who did it better." Sephiroth glanced at her. "And, as apparently you do not know, Hojo gave much harsher beatings than Talya."
"So even that was supposed to be a kindness," she scoffed.
"What did you want from her? Friendship? Something akin to what she had with me?"
"Yes, something like what you had. You say she cared about us both, but she was your friend, not mine. What did I do wrong?"
"She wasn't good at reading people. She never thought you wanted that from her."
Minerva looked down, seeing what he meant. "I was too self-contained. I did not want to rely on someone who lied to me, no matter what her reasons; that would have been weak of me..."
"You didn't let yourself befriend her," he confirmed, "even though she was your mother. I suppose she was a disappointment to you, not being remotely close to what a mother should have been. Blows instead of embraces."
"Sephiroth?" she asked, all harshness leaving her voice. "Do fathers normally hug their children, too?"
He blinked, noticing her change in tone, and pushed himself up to a sitting position to look at her. "Yes, I suppose so. Why?"
She shook her head and looked away. "No reason. I was only curious."
His gaze lingered on her for a moment before shifting away. "I suppose there isn't much more I can tell you about her reasons. Even if I can, I've no wish to intrude on your memories."
"...she did introduce me to the concept of music," she recalled, almost reluctantly. "And I suppose that was kindness of a sort."
Sephiroth nodded his absent agreement. "Music is beautiful, isn't it?"
Minerva chose not to reply; she considered the conversation over now, despite any real conclusion. She remained where she sat and turned her attention the candle. By now most people had left it to get some sleep, and only one couple remained by the comfort of the flame. And once the sun at last peaked over the horizon and cast its pale glow across the eastern face of the canyon, those two left it as well. Minerva lifted her gaze to look out across the whole canyon as the sun rose.
Sephiroth got to his feet, abruptly but purposefully.
"Where are you going?" she asked.
He looked down at her, and she noticed a confidence that had not been there before. A fresh confidence, not one he had regained; she doubted he had ever held this sort of sureness, for it was one borne of knowing someone believed in him.
"It is time I started living up to Aeris's opinion of me," he said. "There are questions that need answering, and doubts I must dispel--both mine and others.'"
Minerva nodded. "I think I understand. I am surprised, though, that you are starting such a thing so soon."
"What should I be waiting for?" he wondered. Indeed he seemed much more content now, and she had to ask:
"Did she say she loved you?"
He hesitated but a moment, but long enough to show her that he still harbored his old doubts. Not as strong, perhaps, but he would not get rid of them so easily. "She said she did not know yet. But her friendship is enough for me; after all, it is more than I have ever had." A faint smile came to his face as he went on, "She said that she would rather have my friendship and die by my hand than never see me again. I..." At a loss for words, he could only shake his head.
She allowed a smile to grace her own face, if only briefly. "To have so strong a friendship must be a wonderful thing. I am happy for you."
His smile faded, and he tilted his head to look at her searchingly. After a moment he nodded once as though he had answered his own question. "I am sure Reno will prove a good friend for you as well."
The girl blinked; that was not what she had expected. "I suppose so."
"He certainly seems to be trying anyway."
Minerva nodded. "Well, I suppose I have kept you here long enough. Go on and find your answers. You've already given me mine."
Sephiroth turned to leave, hesitated, and, when she said nothing further, strode off, back down the ladder. She watched him go, then returned her gaze to the canyon and her thoughts to all he had said, and what she had not.
Sephiroth approached the Candle silently, pausing some paces away. Cloud sat alone in front of it, gazing pensively into the flames. Was he certain he wanted to do this now? he wondered. Then again, he supposed there was little he could say that would worsen Cloud's opinion of him. Indeed it was better to try to raise it before his proximity to Aeris drew further concern.
The swordsman did not use the steps, but instead pulled himself up onto the edge of the platform and sat backwards, looking at Cloud and wondering where to begin.
The blond noticed him with a start and immediately frowned. "What are you doing here?"
"I came to speak with you," Sephiroth replied simply.
"And what do we have to talk about?"
"Aeris."
Cloud's gaze turned wary. "What do you mean?"
"I know you worry about her being with me, and you in particular feel especially protective because there is still something between you."
"What would you know about that?"
"Obviously more than you think." He hesitated and at last had to break the other man's gaze. "I am in love with her as well."
Cloud gaped at him.
Sephiroth regarded him darkly. "You think the idea absurd, don't you?"
"It is! You can't be in love with her!"
"And why not?" Sephiroth demanded. "Am I so alien that I cannot have emotions like normal humans? I have always been guarded with you, yes, but that hardly means there is nothing beyond that. And Aeris... she knew that." He stopped, deciding anything more was unnecessary.
"So why are you telling me about this?"
"I should think it would be obvious."
"Well, it isn't," Cloud deadpanned.
Sephiroth sighed. "You don't trust me; you fear that I will hurt her. I want to assure you that I will not, which I cannot do if I tell you nothing. And... As foolish as it sounds, I wish to seek some kind of forgiveness."
Cloud shook his head. "You know I can never forgive you for what you did in Nibelheim. Maybe Aeris can do that, but I'm not that kind of person. But... maybe I can trust you with her, though I don't like it. It's her choice, and if it makes her happy, then I'll have to live with it." His frown deepened, and he fixed Sephiroth with a dubious gaze. "But I have to ask you: do you really mean what you said?"
"I would not say I loved her if I did not. Such emotions have always seemed weak and foolish to me, and my instinct is to deny it. But I cannot; that would be an insult to her."
"And you won't hurt her," Cloud went on.
"Never again," he said firmly. "But have you never hurt her, Cloud?"
The blond broke his gaze and shifted uncomfortably. "Why are you asking?"
His reaction surprised Sephiroth; he had expected an immediate no and had only asked on the chance that... what? Perhaps he wanted to prove that Cloud was not so much better for her than he. Perhaps he wanted some valid reason to dislike the man. Perhaps he had only been following his intuition. He had not expected that feeling to be right.
"Judging from your reaction, the answer is yes, and I want to know about it."
"Why should it matter to you?" came the guarded question.
"Because I want to understand Aeris, and she has not spoken of a time when you hurt her."
Cloud met his gaze with a frown. "Can't you just ask her?"
"It is your failing, not hers."
The blond sighed and closed his eyes. "It was at the Temple... You remember, don't you?"
Of course he remembered. That was where he had first noticed Aeris's beautiful strength of will, her stubborn determination, her danger to his purpose, and where her familiarity had first confused him.
"After you got the Black Materia from me..." He trailed off and began again. "Aeris was with me. I was so angry at myself, and she tried to comfort me, but I... I knocked her down and beat her. I don't even remember it that well; someone must've stopped me, knocked me out."
Sephiroth was silent for a long moment, not certain what to make of this. Cloud had... beaten her? For all that he loved her, he had grown angry and... beaten her.
And for all that you cared about her, she was in your way, so you killed her.
Yes, the worst sin was his, for murdering her. But he did not understand it. "Why?" he asked.
Cloud shook his head in frustration. "I don't know. I didn't mean to. I just... couldn't stop myself, almost like at the City..."
"I suppose... it may have been my fault," Sephiroth considered. "I may not have urged you to harm her, but you always had difficulty returning to yourself after I had used you."
"You mean you're telling me its not my fault?" Cloud asked incredulously.
"Yes."
You're being so nice today, Jenova commented. What brought about this change?
Do you even have to ask?
"Why?" Cloud wondered.
So it was Aeris. You know, of course, that the moment you are looking the other way, I will come to kill her.
Then I will be certain to kill you before you get that chance. "It isn't what you expected of me, is it? Doing anything unselfish is beyond me, you think?" Sephiroth shrugged. "Make what you want of it. I have no need of a scapegoat."
"You mean you don't want one, because with all you've done, it'd probably be easier to blame it on someone else."
"Easier perhaps, but I would be lying to myself, and I am finished with that."
"It's really hard to believe that you've changed this much in a few weeks," Cloud remarked.
"Was I truly that different before Nibelheim?"
"What about after Nibelheim? You can't disregard that."
"That was the result of lies--Hojo's, Jenova's, my own--and my lack of outlet for emotion."
"You never seemed like you needed one."
Sephiroth met his gaze firmly. "If you had been brought up never to show your feelings, or even admit that you had them, perhaps you would seem this way, too."
Cloud shook his head slightly. "Why are you telling me all this? Why bother?"
"I have heard it said that once you understand your enemy, you can love them. Aeris has proven that, and though I hardly expect you to come anywhere near that, I am tired of your hateful gaze on my back, tired of your constant suspicion, tired of feeling uncomfortable around Aeris because I know you are watching and disapprove of it."
"How can I approve of it? You killed her."
"And the part of myself that enjoyed it has died as well."
"How can I know that?"
"Cloud--" He paused and looked sharply at the other man. "I will never hurt her. I could never find a valid reason to harm her in the slightest, much less kill her again."
How about that she's a meddling bitch who stole you away from your mother? Jenova suggested, but he did not bother to reply.
Cloud sighed. "Fine, fine. Anyway... I wanted to call everyone together so we can fill them in on what's going on."
"You want me to help gather them here?" Sephiroth asked.
"Yeah," was the grudging reply.
With nothing more than a nod between them, each went off to find who they could. Soon they were all gathered around the Candle, all sitting a little closer to each other than perhaps was polite, though only Elena made any protest, and then Sephiroth doubted she had any serious complaint.
Aeris sat on his right, ready with a reassuring smile whenever he needed respite from the harsh gazes of her friends. She was his support, his anchor, his best friend, his everything. And he had killed her. No, he told himself, that was in the past, another life, it no longer mattered.
Once they were all settled but before Cloud could begin, Cid spoke up. "So what're we all here for? We already killed the bad guy, didn't we?"
Cloud nodded. "Yeah. We've done all that we set out to do; we killed Hojo and freed Sephiroth. So any of you can go home if you want."
"But?" Reeve prompted.
"But there is another enemy to fight."
"Who?" Cid wondered.
"Jenova." It was Yuffie who answered.
The pilot raised an eyebrow. "And how do you know about this?"
"Sephiroth told me," she answered cooly, her tone faintly resentful of his surprise.
"Sephiroth?"
"I told her I was going to kill Jenova," the swordsman clarified, sensing the wariness of those who hadn't heard of his plans. All eyes turned to him, no doubt wondering several things. Jenova was still alive? And Sephiroth wanted to kill her? And why on the Planet would he tell Yuffie about this?
"How do you know she's still alive?" Elena asked. "Didn't Avalanche kill her when they killed you?"
"Am I dead?" Sephiroth asked in reply, and the blond dropped her gaze.
"But how do you know for sure?" Reno persisted.
"I've heard her voice in my head."
The redhead regarded him as though dubious of his sanity, but he did not question that. "So, what? You want us to help you kill her?"
He shook his head. "I've asked no one for help, but there are those who have offered it anyway."
"Who?"
Yuffie piped up first. "Me, for one."
"And I'm going," Aeris said.
"Teef and I are going, too," Cloud said.
"I shall go as well," Minerva added quietly.
Reno nodded. "Then I guess you can count me in."
"Well, it doesn't look like you guys need any more help, so I'll head home," Cid decided. "I'm gettin' too old for this shit anyway."
"Thirty-seven is hardly old, Cid," Tifa laughed.
"It's three years short o' forty," he told her.
"Then you'd better marry Shera quick," Yuffie advised with a grin, "before you drop off the face of the Planet."
Cid ran a hand through his hair. "Why do you guys always have to bring that up?"
"Because we've waited five years and still nothing, not even an engagement," Tifa answered. "We thought it'd happen in five weeks at the most."
"Fine," he said grudgingly. "Somebody help me find a ring, and I'll go home an' propose to 'er."
Nearly everyone laughed.
"Anyway," Cloud said once they were quiet again. "If anyone wants to leave on the Highwind, you can talk to Cid about it."
"What about fighting Jenova?" Reno asked. "When are we gonna do that, and where're we going?"
A number of those present looked to Sephiroth, though many still looked to Cloud. The swordsman shook his head. "I have to find out where she is first, though I think I have a good idea. As for when--the sooner the better."
You think you know where I am? Silly boy. Even if you are right, I can be gone by the time you come.
Then you'll run from me? And I thought you could defeat me so easily.
You perhaps, but you and all your 'friends' may present a problem.
"Tomorrow?" Cloud suggested.
No one objected.
"Tomorrow then," Sephiroth confirmed. I shall see you then, Jenova.
I'll no longer be here. I can easily find a new place to hide.
Hiding indeed.
"Does Jenova have any weaknesses to speak of?" Yuffie asked.
Sephiroth shook his head. "I know of none. You have fought her before; you should know better than I do."
"I guess you're right. But still, she talks in your head, so I figured you might know something we don't." When he offered no reply, she rocked forward on her heels and hopped up. "So I guess we should get ready for tomorrow."
"Jeez, kid, how much is there to do before you go?" Cid wondered, regarding her dubiously.
She put her hands on her hips. "I'm not talking about doing my hair or something, Cid Highwind. I'm talking about seeing people and talking to them and stuff."
"Very eloquently put, Yuffie," Nanaki remarked as he hopped down from the platform.
Yuffie turned with an indignant "hey!" and ran after him.
"Kids these days," Cid said, standing and shaking his head.
The rest of the group dispersed in little clusters, and Tifa went with Cid towards the shops, he noted with some amusement. Aeris remained with Sephiroth before the Candle, taking up his hand once most of her friends had gone.
"Have you two put any thought into where you're going after this is over?"
Sephiroth looked up to see his mother standing there with Vincent a silent shape just behind her.
"Where we're going?" Aeris echoed in startlement.
Lucrecia smiled. "I assume you're staying together."
The Cetra blushed, much to Sephiroth's surprise, and lowered her gaze. "I guess so," she answered. "I really hadn't given it any thought. All I know is that I'm not going back to Costa del Sol." She glanced at Sephiroth. "Any ideas?"
He shrugged. "I have no wish to return to Nibelheim, and I doubt the people of Wutai would welcome me, but more than that, I don't know."
Lucrecia hesitated. "Vincent and I are thinking about going back to Nibelheim. Despite what happened, we do have many fond memories there."
Aeris smiled. "That's nice. I guess Sephiroth and I will put a little more thought into the matter, and we'll tell you once we've decided. Who knows, we may end up staying here; the people seem accepting enough."
Accepting. So she was taking that into consideration.
"Mother," Sephiroth said falteringly, "could I talk to you for a moment?"
"Alone?" she asked.
He hesitated and looked at Aeris. "You can listen if you like."
"Only if you want me to," she replied.
"I... think it might be better that way," he said. He lifted his eyes to Vincent. "However, I doubt you would want to hear it, and I'd feel..."
"Uncomfortable," Vincent finished with a nod. "I understand." With that he turned to leave, and the three remaining watched him go.
Once he had gone, Lucrecia settled herself down beside Sephiroth. "What did you want to talk to me about?"
"Mother," he began, and this time he saw her smile as he called her that, "I want to know more... about my father."
The request obviously startled her, and she found no ready reply.
He nodded in response to her unspoken questions and turned his gaze to the fire. "Yes, of course I've accepted it. I cannot deny that Hojo is my father, however much I dislike it. And neither can I discard his memory so easily. I knew only his cruelty and killed him in anger, and yet... He said that he loved you, somehow. I cannot fathom it, after all he did to me, but... Mother, you would be the one to know, if he was ever any different, if he ever had a soul."
"He did once," Lucrecia said quietly. "A long time ago. He was a very hard-working man, but he always made time to help me if I needed him. And the conversations we would have! Vincent would listen, of course, but Hojo shared more of himself with me. Together we could think up so many wonderful ideas... But... things changed once we married."
Her voice dropped with her gaze. "He must have known that I still loved Vincent, and he was angry at us both for that. He always did hate Vincent, and the fact that my love made them rivals--that made the hate stronger. Even though... I never actually said it to either of them. I always regretted that."
"Even saying it to Hojo?" he wondered.
"Yes, even to Hojo. Maybe," she went on, "maybe if I had told him, he wouldn't have grown so spiteful. Maybe I would have been a joy to him rather than a constant reminder that he shared my love with Vincent. Maybe that was why he grew to hate me, too."
"He told us that he let you die out of jealousy, to get back at Vincent. But I cannot understand it. If he cared at all for you, how could he have...?" He trailed off on renoticing Aeris at his side. He had cared for her, and yet not only had he let her die, he had killed her himself.
"Maybe that was the only way he could see to stop me from loving Vincent."
Sephiroth nodded, then frowned. "And his treatment of me? I know he did not spend all his time running tests. There was... time enough for other things..."
"You must have reminded him of me," she said, meeting his gaze and smiling ruefully. "You do have my eyes."
"So he was trying to make himself forget?"
Lucrecia nodded slowly. "I wonder if maybe he did forget me, for a time, while you kept your eyes lowered and your mouth shut. Perhaps then, he couldn't see me in you and couldn't feel any pain over losing me."
"He never even mentioned you," Sephiroth said.
"...I asked him once," she went on sadly, "if he ever wanted children, and he told me certainly not; they would be a pain and a nuisance. But then he laughed, and I thought he must surely be joking. Or at least, that he might enjoy having them anyway. But now I don't think so." Lucrecia shook her head. "You, though, you would have been the perfect son for him, had he bothered to treat you like one."
"But your memory tormented him," Sephiroth realized suddenly, "just as it did Vincent. And while Vincent clung to that memory and punished himself for your death, Hojo did everything he could to destroy that memory. His sorrow over your death was a flaw, as his love for you had been."
"So he was just a man who wanted desperately to be perfect," she concluded with a sigh. "Professor Gast was a reminder of his scientific shortcomings, I of his emotional weakness, and you reminded him of both. That's why he hated you, my son, because you were sure proof of his imperfection. No matter how many times he must have told himself that your greatness added to his because you were his 'creation,' he never got over it. It must have been devastating; he wanted recognition and all he ever got was hatred."
They sat with silence stretched between them for some time, letting these revelations sink in.
"Even knowing all that," Sephiroth said finally, "I don't think any healer, even Aeris, could have cured him of his hatred or his cruelty."
"Maybe if I'd..." Lucrecia began.
"No," Aeris interrupted, speaking for the first time in the conversation. "You had no obligation to change him, and I can't imagine how hard it would have been to get him to even admit that he needed to be changed. It's near impossible to help someone who doesn't want help on some level or another."
"...and even deep down, he didn't want it," Lucrecia sighed. "I suppose you're right."
"Mother?" Sephiroth queried.
"Yes?"
"Am I anything like Hojo?"
Lucrecia shook her head, a smile coming to her face. "No, not a bit. And I'm glad. Yours is a different kind of intelligence, a different kind of determination. Your motives are much purer, and they always have been. That's why I'm proud of you, my son."
He smiled in relief and bowed his head. "Thank you."
"There's no need to thank me for that," she told him. "Now, I had better get back to Vincent." She shared a knowing glance with Aeris as she got to her feet. "You leave him alone for five minutes and he's found something else to blame himself for." With that, she bade them both farewell and hurried off in the direction that Vincent had gone.
Sephiroth turned back to Aeris, searching for a reaction.
"You surprised me," she admitted. "But I'm glad you're trying to understand even the ones you hate. I think that helped me some, too."
"I had hoped it might," he said. "But, I would not have thought to ask her, except that Minerva asked me about Talya this morning, wanting to understand her better."
She smiled. "Then you helped her, too. What else have you done today?"
"...I talked to Cloud," he replied, looking down.
"About... us?"
He nodded.
"Do you think it helped?"
Sephiroth shrugged. "Perhaps a bit. I cannot be certain."
Aeris caught his gaze with a smile. "You're being a healer today, Sephiroth. I can see it in your eyes, and it's beautiful."
He tore his gaze away and muttered something under his breath.
She laughed. "Modesty? I think you should be proud of yourself. Being a healer is not an easy thing, but there is a shortage of them on this planet."
"Do you think Jenova can be understood?" he asked on a whim.
Aeris shook her head slowly. "I don't know. I guess so, but I wouldn't be the one to do it. She doesn't belong to this Planet. That's why she doesn't die; the Lifestream can't accept her. But for the Planet to survive, we have to find a way to kill her."
"How?" he wondered.
"I don't know. Maybe part of it is her will. She's too strong for the Planet to deal with in its weakened state. Maybe she's afraid of dying. Maybe she's the last of her kind, and she's struggling to carry that on, I don't know."
Are you the last of your kind? Sephiroth asked her.
Silence.
"She won't answer me," he said. "It's strange for her not to want to talk about something. But then, she has always avoided discussing what happened two millennia ago. She rants at the Cetra frequently, but won't even give a real reason for her hatred."
"A part of me wants to hear her side," Aeris said quietly, "but... I've heard stories from the Cetra before me, and what Jenova did was terrible. We befriended her, and our thanks was betrayal and painful death. Maybe she had a reason, but I can't see it. We've always fought her in self-defense; can't she see that through you and Minerva?"
Sephiroth nodded slightly and fell silent.
I see you accept the Cetra's words without question, Jenova remarked spitefully.
Because she speaks the truth to me. All you've ever offered me are half-truths and flat-out lies.
What if my 'lies' are the truth as I understand it?
You are only fooling yourself. Surely you've seen the value in individuals. There are no generalizations that allow you to kill them all. You can find reasons behind the actions of those few against whom your anger might be justified. You can understand their own laments, untangle your misunderstandings, and, out of that, you can find forgiveness in yourself. But then, even after all this time, you still don't understand that, do you?
I understand that you were the first person in two thousand years to even pay attention to me. And the only. Oh, certainly, Minerva will listen because I force her to. Occasionally, when she's feeling desperate, she'll toss ideas at me. But she never does anything remotely like caring.
He barely held back a scoff, not wanting to draw Aeris's curiosity. Don't tell me you are lonely.
Shouldn't I be?
For all I know, you are only playing to my compassion.
You see? Even if I decided that I wanted to become what you consider good, I could never do it. You would always think it some elaborate deception. Both of you would. So I can't change, you won't let me change, even if I want to change! You pretend to be so open, but you really can't understand each other. You just make up pretty little lies so you can pretend to like each other. You pretend to each other that you're oh-so-understanding, and in your hearts you believe whatever you want. Just like those Cetra did! They thought their every breath was a comfort to me, but they were all lies, lies, they never understood, never let me explain it to them, never gave me a chance, and then they--
She stopped suddenly, as though realizing all that she had said that she had never before confided to anyone. Now look what you've driven me to, she muttered.
For a long time he found no reply. It shocked him to hear Jenova speak this way. Lately he had told himself that she had no emotions, and the reminder that she did caught him off-guard. And yet, hadn't he once thought of her this way? Hadn't she, at some point, for whatever reasons, tried to show him some affection, some sympathy? Perhaps some of what she said was true. Much of it, however, seemed like a collection of half-truths that she had told herself and eventually come to believe. Justifications for what she had done in anger.
In some ways, she seemed incredibly human. Sephiroth, too, had deceived himself in order to justify his actions. The comparison repulsed him, but he had to admit it had some merit.
But Jenova did not feel his guilt. And that was one very important difference.
You are nearing your breaking point, aren't you? he asked finally.
...what do you mean? came Jenova's guarded reply. He had never known her to act guarded.
You can't keep it up much longer, this single-minded attack on the humans and the Cetra. It's breaking you, to keep it up and think of nothing else.
Well, it doesn't help that you're being so cruel to me, she retorted.
You make constant threats to the woman I love. How else should I treat you?
You killed the woman you love, and she forgave you for it. I haven't even attempted it, and already you condemn me for it?
Because you have no guilt, no desire to rescind your threats. I cannot forgive you unless you make an effort to deserve it.
And what did you do to deserve Aeris's forgiveness, hmm?
I called her back. Surely that is enough to show that I regret killing her.
Is it?
He flinched in spite of himself and glared into the flame. If you are that spiteful because of my attitude towards you, then perhaps you should sit and think on your own about why I despise you. Think about why everyone despises you. And, if you have them, think about your own emotions. Perhaps you will find them as unjustified as I do.
At last Jenova fell silent, and Sephiroth let out a cleansing sigh. He noticed that Aeris was watching him silently, and he wondered what emotions she had seen on his face as he spoke with Jenova.
Somehow, though, she seemed to sense that he did not want to explain, and instead she looked into the Candle and leaned back on her hands. "It's still morning," she said. "What do you want to do today?"
He shook his head. "Whatever you like. It matters not to me."
"How about we start by taking off your gloves?" she suggested, finding his gaze and holding it. "You don't need them, do you?"
He looked away but made no objection. She sat up and took up each of his hands in turn, carefully tugging off the black gloves that hid them and laying them aside. That done, she clasped both his hands in hers that seemed so tiny and delicate in comparison. He marvelled silently at the feel of her skin against his own; they had held hands before, but this seemed so much more intimate. He dared not meet her gaze.
"Did you think your own hands so dirty that you couldn't touch anyone with them?" she asked softly.
It should not have surprised him that she knew his reasons, but it did anyway. "Yes," he murmured.
"You shouldn't think that. These are the hands of a healer. These are the hands that brushed away my tears. These are the hands that held me to drive away my solitude. They're nothing to be ashamed of."
Sephiroth shook his head slowly. "But they are also the hands that wielded the Masamune and took countless lives. There is much blood on these hands."
"These hands are clean," Aeris said firmly.
He did not reply, but instead looked down at their joined hands. "Aeris?" he queried after a time.
"Yes?"
"Do you really mean to stay with me after this is all over?"
"Of course I do," she replied.
Sephiroth nodded, finally found her gaze, and managed a smile. "Then I'm glad."
Author's Notes
I cut a lot of little pieces out of this chapter, trying to streamline the dialogue and get rid of some unnecessary description. Whenever I had the whole group together like they were at the Candle in this chapter, I had a tendency to go through and make some remarks about each of them. A sort of character inventory, I guess. A couple of the things I would have liked to fit in somewhere, but they really weren't important so I cut that section out entirely.
I have to say I like the exchange between Sephiroth and Jenova best out of all the scenes in this chapter. Originally it didn't occur until the next chapter, but it seemed very random there, so I decided to move it, and I think it fits in a lot more nicely here.