"After four years, I still can't fathom why she picked such a cold place," Tifa was saying, hugging herself for warmth.
"And whose idea was it to visit her in the middle of winter?" Cloud asked.
She shot him a look, and he grinned nervously. "I just thought someone should go check on her," she sighed. "She hasn't answered the last few times we called, and frankly, I've always been worried about her staying up here."
He nodded his agreement, pulling her close to warm her up. "I know, I know. I'm worried, too. But maybe she's just been outside when we've called."
"In winter?"
Cloud shrugged. "Nobody wants to be cooped up inside for months, right?"
"I guess not. But still..."
"Look, here's her house," he interrupted, turning down a side path and pausing in front of the door. "It's probably nothing," he said, though he hardly felt sure of it. He knocked on the door. Louder. And louder. And louder still. He exchanged glances with Tifa.
"Let's just go inside," she suggested hurriedly. "Maybe she didn't hear. Or maybe she's out."
Cloud nodded and opened the door, stepping inside and looking around. "Aeris?" he called. "Aeris, are you home?"
Silence. His worry growing, he started towards the living room to check there.
"Cloud? Tifa?" The voice was so faint and cheerless that he hardly recognized it as Aeris's.
Turning around, he saw her peeking out of a room to the left, the door pushed open only enough to reveal her face.
"There you are!" Tifa exclaimed in relief.
Aeris stepped out into the antechamber, closing the door behind her. She smiled, but her eyes held a hazy bewilderment. "I'm sorry. Were you looking for me?"
"We've called a couple times, but you didn't answer," Cloud told her. "And I was knocking just now, but you didn't come to the door..."
She dropped her gaze. "Nn."
"Aeris, has something happened?" Tifa asked.
The Cetra shook her head. "No, no, everything's fine. Here, let's go sit down." She turned just a little too eagerly to lead them into the living room.
Cloud trailed behind, frowning. She looked terribly gaunt and pale, and her mannerisms were obviously a pretense.
Tifa must have noticed it, too, for as soon as they were settled, she asked, "Have you been eating well? You don't look so good."
"I don't? Hmm. Well, I guess I have been a bit forgetful lately, but I'm fine, really."
The brunette eyed her critically, but decided to drop it. "So, have you just managed to miss our calls, or have you been ignoring us?"
Aeris blinked at the accusation. "I must have missed them. I do go out sometimes; I have my gardens to tend, after all."
"Have you... gotten any word about Sephiroth?" Cloud asked tentatively.
At last she faltered. "I... The Planet spoke to me about a month ago, I think. It said that it had healed itself, and..."
"And what?"
"Never mind. It doesn't matter."
"What do you mean it doesn't matter? Did it tell you anything about Sephiroth?"
"Cloud..." Tifa began.
Aeris smiled and shook her head. "Don't worry about it, guys. I think... Well, however it turns out, I'll be okay."
Cloud regarded her dubiously. "But... you've been waiting so long..."
"I can wait a little longer," she replied.
"Is that what you tell yourself every day?"
"I..."
"Aeris, how long is 'a little longer'?" Tifa asked, picking up where Cloud had left off. "Isn't it about time you ended this isolation of yours?"
Aeris dropped her gaze and folded her hands in her lap. "How can I?" she asked quietly. "How can I go on without him? That's why I've been waiting..."
Tifa laid a hand on her shoulder. "But... what if he doesn't come back? What's the point of staying here if he doesn't come back?"
The Cetra looked up sharply. "He promised me he'd come back, so I'm going to wait until he does."
"But what if he doesn't?"
"You don't understand," Aeris insisted. "I can't go back with you and try to live a normal life without him. I can't just mourn a little, heal, and move on. This wound is one only Sephiroth can mend. No amount of effort on my part will heal it, and I can't pretend otherwise."
"Have you tried getting over him?" Tifa persisted.
"Tifa," Cloud sighed, "if she's made up her mind, nothing we say will change it. I know it, you know it, we all know it."
The Cetra smiled faintly. "That's right. I've always been stubborn, haven't I?"
"...and you always get your way eventually," Tifa added with a sigh.
"Nn. What time is it anyway?"
"Early afternoon," Cloud answered.
"Have you eaten? I'm fairly certain I haven't. I could make us something..."
"Yes, that would be nice," Tifa said. "Do you need any help?"
Aeris shook her head. "Oh, no, not at all. I'll be right back."
Cloud watched her go and then turned to Tifa. "You're right; she doesn't look so good. I really wish we could convince her to leave this place. It's not good for her to be alone like this."
"No, it isn't," she agreed. "But she's too stubborn. We'd have to carry her away in a sack."
"...do you really think the Planet will revive him eventually?" he asked.
She shook her head. "I don't know, but I'm almost starting to think that Aeris only made that up to comfort herself."
"Well, his body isn't rotting or anything," Cloud pointed out.
"No, it isn't, but does that really mean anything?"
He shrugged.
Tifa sighed. "In any case, I wish we could stay here more than a few days, to keep her company and at least cheer her up a little."
"Me, too, Teef. Me, too."
She sat down on the edge of his bed with a sigh. They were so worried about her. They wanted her to go back with them, to get over him. Did it hurt them to know she was here alone? Did it hurt them to come here and find her so distant?
Aeris ran her fingers along Sephiroth's cold cheek. "Would it be so impossible to try?" she asked him. "To wait for you among friends instead of alone? And maybe, I could hold up a little better with them to help me. Maybe they wouldn't be so worried if they could..."
She shook her head. "No. I can't let them see me like this all the time. Come on, Aeris, be strong. Be strong..." Her voice caught in her throat. No... No, no, no, no! No tears. Don't cry. I won't cry. I can't cry. No tears...
Sliding down to the floor, she curled up into a ball against the side of the bed. I won't cry. Just breathe. Just breathe...
A knock sounded at the door, and she gave a start, looking up with wide eyes.
"Aeris, can I come in?" Cloud called.
No, please don't...
"Aeris?"
I can't... Oh, please, don't come in. I can't pretend right now. Don't, don't, don't.
Slowly, he pushed open the door, his deep blue eyes widening in concern when he saw her on the verge of tears. "Aeris, are you all right?"
"I-I... I..." she faltered. She took a deep breath, tried to pull herself together, failed.
He lingered a moment in the doorway out of confusion before hurrying over to her, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder. "What's wrong? What's happened?"
Aeris looked down, away from the compassion in his eyes, and took another breath. "I was just... thinking..." No tears. "I'm such a fool," she went on. "None of you... wanted me to do this, did you? You all thought it was a bad idea. You thought I should have moved on, should have gotten over him..."
"That's what we thought," Cloud agreed slowly, nodding, "but none of us knows you well enough to see inside your head and figure out what you need."
She shook her head repeatedly, slightly at first, then more vehemently. "I could have had someone else, couldn't I? I could've fallen in love again, like Sephiroth wanted me to. He wanted me to forget about him, did you know? And I probably could, too, if I really tried, but I don't want to, Cloud. I don't want to..."
"It's hard to let go," he agreed. "You must've loved him a lot, though, to wait this long for him to come back. But... what did the Planet tell you about him? Did it--?"
"No," Aeris interrupted. "It didn't say it couldn't bring him back. That's just the thing. It only told me that it had healed itself, that it was tired, and to give it a moment... A moment...! But, how long is a moment from a planet's point of view?"
She looked up at him, green eyes bright now with anger rather than sorrow. "Don't you see? What a fool I am, to hope that I would have him back! I could've had anyone, anyone, but I chose a corpse! I would rather wait forever for a corpse than move on with my life! Such a fool, a godsdamned fool..."
Cloud reached out and pulled her into his arms. "You're not a fool, Aeris. You loved him, and the Planet gave you hope that you could be with him again. I thought... I thought I heard it tell me I could have you back, too, just after Meteor. That's why I waited at first."
"But you didn't wait this long," she whispered. "You got over me. Oh, gods... Please, Cloud, tell me how you did it..." Don't cry. Oh, gods, don't cry...
"I didn't get over you," he answered. "Not until you came back and showed me just how stupid I was to cling to your memory. I only moved on because Tifa needed me. And... I hate to admit it, but I don't think I loved you as much as you love Sephiroth."
Aeris pulled back from his embrace, daring to look into his eyes. "Then what am I supposed to do? There's no one who needs me like Tifa needed you."
"Maybe not, but we'd all love to have you around again. This isolation isn't doing anyone any good."
She sighed and glanced to her right, towards Sephiroth. "I... I don't know. I know you're right, but... I don't know."
Cloud offered her a sympathetic smile. "You don't have to decide right now. Just think about it, okay?"
Aeris nodded. "I will."
He stood up slowly. "You think you'll be all right by yourself?"
"Yes, I think so," she answered steadily. "Go on and get some sleep."
Starting for the door, he faltered and turned back, glancing around the room. "You said you slept in here, but... There's only..."
"I'll... I'll spend just one more night down here," Aeris told him. "Just one more."
Cloud nodded. "Good night..."
"Good night."
She watched him leave, then closed her eyes and leaned against the bed. "I didn't cry, Sephiroth," she whispered. "I didn't cry."
"Aeris, are you awake?"
Her eyes snapped open, and she sat up. "Sephiroth?" she asked hopefully. But as sleep retreated from her mind, she found that it was only Cloud, standing uncertainly by her bed. She stared blankly at him, not wanting to trust her eyes.
"Aeris...?" he faltered.
She shook her head, remembering where she was and finding words again. "I dreamt that he came back to me," she murmured. "I'm sorry."
"Don't worry about it," he told her. "Anyway, Tifa made breakfast this morning, since you seemed to be sleeping so well."
Aeris frowned. "Again? I'm such a terrible hostess, aren't I?" She slid out of bed, straightening her rumpled skirt. She had forgotten to change into her nightgown yet again, but she did bother to make her bed before accepting the plate Cloud offered her.
"I suppose Tifa's a better cook than I am anyway," she said, though she'd lost all preference for the taste of food.
"Oh, I'm not that much better," Tifa amended as she took a seat next to Cloud on the bed opposite Aeris's.
The Cetra shook her head in disagreement, but did not care to argue her point. She cleaned her plate and set it aside, avoiding their gazes. They were going to ask now. They had asked each morning for the past three days, and each morning she had answered the same. They were wearing her down, though. She felt guilty for keeping them here, and she doubted they would leave without her.
"Have you decided yet?" Tifa asked softly. "I... I don't mean to seem so impatient, but..."
"I understand," Aeris said. "And..." She hesitated, looking around the room as though seeking some kind of sanction. This house had been her home for the past four years, but perhaps it was time she left it behind. "I think I'll go," she said at last. "But... not today, if that's all right with you."
Her friend smiled, looking relieved. "Is tomorrow all right?"
She nodded. "Yes, tomorrow's fine..."
Tifa stood, stepping forward to take her empty plate. "I'll go clean up," she said, disappearing into the kitchen.
"You're sure about this?" Cloud asked when she had gone.
"Yes," she answered. "I guess it's about time I started being sensible. I'll still wait for him, of course, but I'll try to live while I'm waiting."
"That's all we're asking you to do."
"Do you think Yuffie would mind me staying with her?" Aeris asked thoughtfully. "We... Sephiroth and I had decided to go there after everything was over."
"To Wutai?" Cloud asked, incredulous.
Aeris nodded. "He wanted to atone for what he'd done there when he worked for Shinra. He was always trying to make up for what he did... He thought it was all he could do."
"So you're going to try to help in his stead?"
"If Yuffie can find any use for me, yes."
"Even if she can't," Cloud considered, "I think she'll like having you around."
"Wutai's pretty, too," she added absently.
"Yeah..."
She got to her feet. "I'm... going to head downstairs."
Cloud hesitated. "All right."
Smiling faintly for him, Aeris turned and went down the ladder, entering the room where Sephiroth lay and closing the door behind her. Yuffie probably wouldn't appreciate having a corpse in her house--or at least, her father wouldn't--but they would work something out, she supposed.
She walked over to the bed, sitting down on the edge. She wondered if this city would fade again, becoming nothing more than ruins once she had gone. It was a pity, really, but one Cetra could only accomplish so much. She had known from the start that reviving this place would be a failed project.
Friend, may I ask your help?
Aeris started. "Yes, Planet," she said eagerly. "Of course you may. It's wonderful to hear from you again. Are you rested now?"
Yes, somewhat. But I am confused...
"About what?"
This matter of reviving a person. Is so very different from granting spirit energy to a new life; do not supply the life for that, only the soul. Do you see my dilemma?
She blinked. "You... you want to know how to revive Sephiroth?" she asked, scarcely daring to believe it. And here she had been about to give up!
Yes. I cannot figure out how to do it. Perhaps am still too tired to learn anything more. I have been doing so many strange things lately.
"Indeed, you have, friend," Aeris agreed. "But... do you mean to say that you've cleansed him of the Jenova?"
I have. Only just finished a day ago, and was pondering how to revive him. I am at a loss.
Her heart leapt joyfully. "Then... could I just... do it myself?"
If you want. But I know how tired it makes you...
"It doesn't matter," she insisted fervently. "I don't care what it does to me. I just want him back."
Then go ahead. I will see what I can do to help you.
"Thank you, thank you, thank you...!" she cried, swiftly taking up Sephiroth's lifeless hand, closing her eyes, and plunging into the Lifestream, searching, searching. It seemed she found his soul right away, and it was indeed very beautiful, if scarred. She embraced it without hesitation, embracing with it his memories and his pain, and in some part of her, she noticed the Planet's acute attention, as though it were feeding her energy.
She could see herself through his eyes in those final moments, hear her own words faintly as through a haze, feel the love that had made him give his life for her, and the sharp regret he had felt in leaving her. She could feel in him, too, that self-hatred and condemnation, the heavy guilt he carried, and at the same time the tiniest bit of hope, a hope that she had brought him.
His soul seemed to respond to her touch, and she drew it easily back to his body, working swiftly to bind him there, feeding him the energy that the Planet had sent flowing in her, pouring her whole heart into this work as though she had nothing else--and indeed she felt she did not. He was her support, her anchor, her best friend, her everything. And it was because of her that he had died.
At last Aeris opened her eyes and looked down at him. Oh, please... His lashes fluttered, and suddenly she found herself staring into his beautiful blue-green eyes, nearly losing herself in them. He stared back in disorientation.
There, the Planet sighed, bringing her back to herself. I did what I could.
"Thank you, friend," she whispered, now returning her full attention to Sephiroth.
A smile spread across her face, and she used all of her will not to embrace him and tell him how much she had missed him, how much she had worried about him, how much she loved him. "You've finally come back to me," she said, unable to hide the quaver in her voice.
He looked back at her blankly. "What... do you mean?" he asked in confusion. The hand she held twitched, and, sensing his discomfort, she let it go, her smile fading a little.
"You... you were dead for four years," she explained, the quaver growing. "I was... beginning to worry..."
He did not reply, and his eyes showed no recognition.
"I'm Aeris," she whispered desperately.
"Aeris..." he repeated.
"Don't you remember me?" she asked, the tears four years denied threatening to escape her glistening eyes.
Sephiroth closed his eyes as though tired, and there followed a long silence. She bit her lip and swallowed hard to hold back the sobs in her throat, though she could no longer stop the tears sliding down her cheeks.
"I'm sorry, Aeris," he murmured finally, and she did not know what to make of his words or his tone of voice, so she waited. Only a few more moments. She could wait moments. "It... it is always hard for me to remember things early on. I did not mean to worry you."
"Then you...?"
He opened his clear blue eyes to meet her anxious gaze and smiled faintly. "How could I ever forget you? I am ashamed that I did not recognize you, even for a moment."
The smile returned to her face, but her sobs were not forgotten, and she fell across him, crying into his shoulder. He put an arm around her, holding her close, and it was that warmth, that security, that she had longed for, been so desperate for, all those years. She could not speak, only cry in joy, in the release from a lonely pain ever-present in her heart and grown to a nearly unbearable pitch.
Sephiroth said nothing, only held her close, one hand gently stroking her hair.
Finally her sobs died down to soft hiccups, and she pulled back from him in embarrassment. "I'm sorry," she apologized hoarsely. "I didn't mean to be so emotional."
He shook his head. "I understand. Four years, you say?"
She nodded. "Four years, three months, and twenty-four days," she whispered.
He stared at her with something like horror, then closed his eyes in shame. "I am sorry..."
"It's not your fault," she said. "I... I'm just glad you're finally back."
"Were you... waiting for me all that time?"
"Yes."
Sephiroth opened his eyes again, and there was empathy there, sorrow for all the pain he had caused her and a wish that it had never happened. "How long were you going to wait?"
"Forever," she answered. "Even though just now I'd decided to leave here, but only to wait elsewhere. Cloud and Tifa were worried about me. Everyone else probably is, too. But there's no one else for me, no one else I would rather have."
He sat up and moved to embrace her, pulling her back into his lap, and she huddled against him, trying to convince herself that this wasn't just some wonderful dream, that she would never wake from it.
"Hasn't there been anyone to comfort you lately?" he wondered in distress. "Where are your friends who love you so much? Where are Reno and Minerva?"
Aeris shook her head. "They stayed the first three years, but they had their own lives ahead of them. So did everyone else. They all had someone to be with, or somewhere to be going, or something to get done. Me, I couldn't move on without you. You... you promised you'd come back. Certainly, they visited from time to time to check up on me. And I told them I was fine."
"You always were good at pretending," he remarked sadly.
"Not so good lately," she amended. "Cloud and Tifa came by a few days ago, and I broke down. They've stayed with me since then, hoping to help me move on, but I only agreed to leave here, not to let you go... And I was right; you did come back."
He pulled her closer. "Yes, I am here now, and I will never leave your side unless you order me to go."
"I won't," she said with an echo of fierceness in her voice. "Never."
Sephiroth smiled. "I am glad."
Aeris hugged him tightly, content now to simply be with him and hear his heart beating, to rejoice in the rhythm of it, the slow and steady rise and fall of his chest, and the feel of his arms around her.
"...so this is the City of the Ancients?" he asked after a time, she did not know how long. It could have been hours, or mere seconds, and she would not have been able to tell the difference.
"Yes," she answered simply, looking up into his face, watching as his gaze wandered the room.
"Did your friends help you to remodel this house?" he wondered.
"This one, yes," Aeris replied, "but there are others that I've rebuilt over the years..."
"I did not think you a carpenter," he said with mild amusement.
"Anyone who grew up in the slums knew how to make something out of nothing," she told him. She sat up a little, and he loosened his embrace, though she did not feel any less secure. "I'll have to show you what I've done with the place," she went on, face brightening with eagerness. "It doesn't look nearly so dead now, and I planted gardens. Gardens, Sephiroth! Oh, they were such a comfort to me, always fresh and clean as though they were smiling just for me."
He tilted his head at her. "This is a bit far north for flowers, isn't it?"
"No," she said, a smile spreading across her face. "And if I could grow flowers in the Midgar slums, I can grow them here. I planted them everywhere. And there's so much to tell you...!"
Sephiroth nodded. "After four years, I expect there would be."
"Nn!" she exclaimed with a start. "We should tell Cloud and Tifa. And call the others. They'll be overjoyed to hear that you're back, and Minerva and Reno can finally get married."
"You mean they were actually waiting for me?" he asked in surprise.
"Of course," Aeris replied. "They didn't want you to miss their wedding." Her smile softened and she lifted a hand to his face. "And we can have ours, too, can't we?"
"I suppose we can," he agreed, briefly returning the smile. After a pause, he asked almost cautiously, "So, I am free of Jenova now?"
"Yes, you are."
He let out a sigh of release. "Will you teach me how to hear the Planet?"
"Oh, yes, I told you I would, didn't I? But right now I only want to..." She trailed off, looking boldly into his eyes. "I love you, Sephiroth."
She gave him enough time to answer with "I love you, too" before she reached up and kissed him. How many years she had longed for this moment! she thought, leaning into him and praying that this moment would not end.
It was Sephiroth who eventually drew back, regarding her with an almost boyish shyness.
Aeris laughed softly. "Strange, isn't it, how I can have more experience in something than you?"
He shook his head slightly, playing absently with her hair. "You know friendship and love are both fairly new to me..."
"Well, you catch on quickly enough."
With a playful grin, he bent down to kiss her again.
"Aeris, I made lu--"
The two broke apart and turned to look at Tifa as she stopped speechless in the doorway.
Aeris smiled broadly. "Tifa, look! He's awake! Isn't it wonderful?"
The brunette nodded dumbly, staring at Sephiroth. At length she shook herself and smiled back at Aeris. "Well... I guess you were right. I'm not sure what to say. Congratulations? Thank the gods? Or, rather, thank the Planet..."
"It doesn't matter," the Cetra said, leaning against Sephiroth, who kept one arm firmly about her, though he seemed uncomfortable under Tifa's gaze. "I'm just glad he's back."
After a moment she straightened, realizing Tifa had come here for a reason. "What were you saying before?"
"Oh, I made lunch for us," Tifa replied.
She had not known that much time had passed. "All right. We'll be up in a minute. We were having an important discussion, right, Seph?" she asked, winking playfully at him.
"Right," the swordsman confirmed.
Tifa fidgeted. "Well... I'll go and tell Cloud." That said, she turned and disappeared through the doorway.
"'Important discussion'?" Sephiroth queried with a smirk once she had gone.
"Yes, very important. There's a lot we haven't 'said' over the past four years, isn't there?"
He shook his head slightly. "It is hard to long for that sort of thing when you lack a body."
"Oh?" she wondered. "Well, it doesn't matter. I have something very important to say." And with that, she pulled him down to claim his mouth in another kiss.
Author's Notes
And we have a happy ending after all! Only... it keeps going! XD I really had too much I wanted to do with this story. I wasn't content to just leave it up to the readers' imaginations. Ah well. I'm sure you guys appreciate the fact that there's more, right? Right.
No big changes here, really. Just a lot of minor things. Like in the original, Cloud and Tifa had a two-year-old son who was mentioned all of twice, maybe thrice, and never named. XD Yeah, I decided that got in the way more than anything else, so I got rid of it.
Oh! And whoever can find the sentence that's repeated almost verbatim from an earlier chapter gets a cookie. 3