Disclaimer: I do not own Shaman king (i wish i did though) or any of the characters.
Summary: Songfic. After being caught Kissing Hao, and Being virtually dumped by Horo will this drive Ren to Suicide? (warning includes Yaoi, suicide and a not-so-happy ending (there will be a sequel with a better ending)
"blah"-Talking
blah blah blah-thoughts
--blah blah blah-- lyrics
-------(name's POV)------ Point of view change
-------Ren's POV--------
Cuts decorated Tao Ren's arm, crimson liquid seeped from each cut nick why did I do that? Why did he have to see? he thought with remorse. He gripped the razor blade again and created a new slit in his skin
--I tried to kill the pain--
--but only brought more--
--I lay dying--
--and I'm pouring crimson regret and betrayal--
--I'm dying, praying, bleeding and screaming--
--am I too lost to be saved--
--am I too lost?--
Flash back "Hey Ren-" the ice shaman said as he entered the room and saw his koi kissing Hao Asakura.
"R-Ren…" he said through his tears "Wait Horo! Its not what it looks like" but it was too late Horo had left the house, running. Ren tried to follow but felt someone grab his wrist.
"Let Me Go Hao!" he barked.
"What makes you think he'll want you back after that?" he said sounding accomplished.
" you bastard!" Ren yelled as he freed his arm from Hao's vice-like grip, he began running towards where Horo was heading.
--my God my tourniquet--
--return to me salvation--
--my God my tourniquet--
--return to me salvation--
-------Horo's semi' POV--------
Flash Back
He kept running he felt he had to get away from Ren somehow, his vision was blurred from the tears which were flowing freely from his eyes. He ran into the park a few blocks from the inn the last thing I need is to be hit by a car. he thought as he entered the gateway.
--do you remember me--
--lost for so long--
--will you be on the other side--
--or will you forget me--
"HORO!" a voice he didn't want to hear yelled. It was in fact Tao Ren is ex-Koi. Horo's legs buckled and he fell to his knees, tears dropped to the pavement.
"Horo it wasn't like that-" Ren began only to be cut off by Horo. "I don't care, I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU EVER AGAIN" the Ainu shouted, trying hard to keep his voice from cracking.
Ren began to tremble, this cant be happening. "H-Horo…."
"I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT!". this was enough Ren ran away from the Ainu his face burning from the tears that were now falling. After that they refused to look each other in the eyes, spending the least amount of time as possible outside of the confides of their rooms.
-------Flash back over Ren's POV-------
It was the perfect time no one was home, they were all out shopping no one could interrupt him.
He cut another slit in his second arm, he'd already filled up one arm.
--I'm dying, praying, bleeding and screaming--
--am I too lost to be saved--
--am I too lost?--
--my God my tourniquet--
--return to me salvation--
--my God my tourniquet--
--return to me salvation--
He wrote his suicide note with his good arm and prepared himself for no more pain, no more suffering,…no more Horo. good bye Horo-koi I love you and with that final thought he stabbed himself in the chest.
--my wounds cry for the grave--
--my soul cries for deliverance--
--will I be denied Christ--
--tourniquet--
--my suicide--
------Later that day Horo's POV------
He'd been having a bad feeling all day but didn't say a thing about it. He was worried about Ren, he hadn't been himself for a while since the incident. It didn't matter to Horo, sure his feeling had been hurt but he had a feeling Ren suffered the worst from it. He bugged the others into letting him leave early and ran as fast as he could, home was across town. As he neared the inn he felt a sudden pain in his chest like someone pulling his heart out of his chest he gasped for air and kept going. He nearly ripped the door off its hinges when he entered.
"REN! REN YOU OK!" he shouted only to get no response. He hurried to Ren's doorway and knocked on the door, "Ren, you in there?" still no reply, Horo started panicking. he pounded on the door and eventually kicked it open to see Ren laying there motionlessly in a puddle of blood. no! He rushed over to his fallen lover "Ren are you o-" his voice trailed off as he say the cuts along Ren's arm and eventually came across the source of the blood that had spilt onto the ground. "no…R-Ren…w-why?" he murmured as tears flowed from his eyes, he sobbed uncontrollably.
------Groups POV-------
It had been nearly an hour since Horo ran off the rest of the group even Anna were beginning to worry.
"we should head back maybe something's wrong" Yoh said to the others who were walking beside him.
"yeah I agree" Manta said looking deeply concerned.
"fine we'll go back but if nothing happened your all getting quadruple training" Anna said harshly.
"…." Hao said nothing he just looked concerned, he'd sensed a shamanic aura go out but refused to say anything. They called a cab and were back at the Inn within minutes (they paid the driver extra to drive over the speed limit). They rushed inside to find everything exactly how they left it.
"see nothing happ-" Anna was cut off as the sound of someone crying uncontrollably distracted them, it was coming from Ren's room. They approached the room it was clear the person who was crying was Horo. They walked into the room and noticed the blood first they looked up and saw Horo cradling Ren in his arms. It was clear what had happened, tears welled up in everyone's eyes even Anna who was normally as cold as ice was tearing. Yoh wiped his eyes, he looked down and say a paper stained with a bit of blood. He knew immediately what it was.. Ren's Suicide note.
By the time any of you read this it will be too late I'll be on the other side. First of all I want to say this was nobody's fault other than my own.
Yoh- I'm sorry I called you an idiot so often your not that dumb. Please tell Jun, but tell her the truth. Anna- I'm sorry I called you an 'ice-queen' and made fun of your bandana, and refused to do your training I now know those things were wrong.
Manta-I'm sorry I called you 'short-stop', and 'oomph loompah' I know what its like to be the shortest.
Hao- sorry I tried to kill you when you first moved in here, I was afraid you were still evil.
Finally To Horo- there's so many thing I want to say but my time is limited. I'm sorry about being ashamed that we were a couple, sorry for hurting your feelings. That incident with Hao…it wasn't how you thought it was… he forced me, but I didn't fight him off I am very sorry. Please don't be sad I'm in a better place now.. I'll always watch over you, Wo Ai ni.
Sincerely, Ren
The tragedy affected everyone and everything… no one was hit harder than Horo who now spent his time either in his room or by Ren's grave.
Ok I'm gonna end it here, I actually started crying after I read through it (no prob writing it but when it came to reading 'get ready for water works' I'm sorry that I killed half of the best couple in Shaman King but there will be a mini sequel (the real ending) Please review!