Chapter 16

"I'm scared, so afraid to show I care

Will he think me weak, if I tremble when I speak

What if there's another one he's thinking of

Maybe he's in love; I'd feel like a fool

Life can be so cruel; I don't know what to do

You can't let the chance to love him pass you by."

-Céline Dion feat. Barbara Streisand, "Tell Him"

By the time Julianna and Erik were finished eating, it was quite late. They were both extremely exhausted from traveling, but neither of them felt much like sleeping. Julianna decided to show Erik around her house some to pass the time. The first room she brought him to was one she knew he would adore and admire … the music room.

Erik's eyes lit up and he smiled as he walked into the enormous room. The room itself was magnificent, beautifully decorated. But even more glorious was the wide assortment of exquisite musical instruments and such that filled the room, wall to wall. She wasn't lying, he thought, when she said she owned every instrument known to man. There were many that he'd never seen before, probably made and used in foreign countries.

"Well, what do you think?" Julianna asked, noticing the look of admiration on his face. She knew he loved it. She could see it in his eyes. And it made her feel good knowing that this room pleased Erik so much.

"It's … amazing," he whispered, carefully caressing every instrument with his eyes. He longed to be able to touch them, and play them, even the ones unfamiliar to him. This room could satisfy all the needs of any composer, such as himself, and more. It was absolutely a dream come true for Erik. He hoped she would allow him to spend time in here.

"I'm glad you like it," she said, touching his arm gently. "You can come in here anytime you'd like. You can use any of the instruments you desire."

"Really?" he said, eagerly. "Are you sure? They look too beautiful to touch."

"Of course, I'm sure," she replied. "You don't even have to ask me. Consider them yours … while you're here, that is."

Erik grinned, unable to contain his delight. He took her hand in his, and ran his thumb over her soft skin, tenderly. He brought her palm to his lips, pressing a light kiss to it. "Merci, Mademoiselle," he whispered, so softly she could barely hear it. "Thank you."

Julianna closed her eyes, enjoying the tingling sensation his lips always left her with. She put her free hand on his chest, bringing them a little closer. She remembered their kiss earlier, and she longed to taste his alluring lips once again … but she knew it would be a mistake. She silently cursed her conscience.

Julianna bowed her head slightly, and pulled away from him. She walked over to the nearest organ, hoping a little music would calm her nerves. Being around Erik reminded her of all that she'd lost many, many years ago. Pain that she thought had long been forgotten. She'd tried to seclude herself from the world, hoping it would leave her in peace. And it worked, until she met beautiful, charming Erik, and she couldn't help her growing affection for him.

Erik silently observed her as she sat down at the organ and began to play a calming lullaby. At first, she was a little unsure of herself, not having played since she was a child. She remembered this song well though. Her father used to play it for her when she couldn't sleep.

As she became more confident, she allowed her fingers to create more forceful notes, until the song certainly couldn't be considered a lullaby anymore. She pounded on the keys violently, not even ceasing when her fingers started to ache, and then bleed a little where her nails had broken. It was her violent means of release.

Erik new exactly how she felt. He couldn't even remember how many times he himself had used his music as a brutal means of releasing pent up emotions. He walked to her and put his hand on her shoulder, hoping to offer some comfort. Even through his comforting, he found himself admiring her talent as a musician. He realized though that this must have been the first time she'd played in quite some time. Not that her talent was lacking. She just seemed a little hesitant at first.

She felt his hand on her shoulder, yet she hardly even noticed he was there, and she continued to pound on the keys vigorously. The song, if you could call it that, was beautiful and haunting at the same time. Erik had never heard anything quite like it. It was so heartbreakingly sad, yet filled with frustration and rage as well.

Suddenly to his surprise, she started singing, quietly at first, barely a whisper, but then more powerfully as the song continued.

"Took from me all that I had,

Left my soul and spirit dead,

Killing everything inside me,

What is one used to be three…"

Erik's mouth dropped open in surprise. Not only did she have a beautiful voice, but she sang with such depth, such feeling. She took the song and made it her own. Only something a skilled vocalist could do. Erik observed her voice, noticing it was quite different from Christine's, but beautiful all the same. While Christine's voice reflected light and happiness, Julianna's was haunting and dark.

"Now to drive away the pain,

I'll destroy all I disdain,

I'll become what I despise,

Living someone else's lies…"

The words of her song confused Erik. She sang of pain, death, and lies. He realized this song must mirror some aspect of her life. He hoped one day she would trust him enough to tell him. She sang as if death had once stolen her very spirit and soul, her will to live. God, he knew that feeling all too well.

"Now obsession rules my mind,

This commotion makes me blind,

Searching out whoever runs,

Or had stolen my life away…"

He sighed. Something devastating must have happened to her. She probably lost her will to live after, hoping the darkness would just take her. He knew that's what he felt like after Christine left him. But she seems fine now, he thought. Since I met her, she never once seemed empty. She actually seemed happy. But he knew the feelings she sang of could only be described and from personal experience. He knew that well.

"Don't ever back down,

Don't ever turn around,

My end has come,

So now I come for you."

He involuntarily shivered as she finished, whispering the last line of her haunting song. She took her hands off of the beautiful, ivory keys and turned to Erik, who looked genuinely worried, yet somehow understanding. How could he understand, she thought. He couldn't possible relate to what I've been through… could he?

He was surprised to find tears running down her pale cheeks. This woman that was always so strong trusted him enough to allow herself to be weak in his presence. He was truly flattered, and realized that her vulnerability actually made her more attractive to him. He was also glad to actually find that she did have a weakness. No one can be strong all the time. Even he gave in to the pain occasionally. He pulled her trembling form into his strong arms, and affectionately stroked her back as she sobbed into his chest.

"Erik…" she whispered, burying her face further into his warm chest.

"It's alright," he whispered, soothingly. "I'm here…" He continued to rub her back tenderly, and she let a small moan escape from her mouth. "You know," he whispered, "Your song describes exactly how I felt one week ago when…" He was silent for a moment. "I know how much it hurts…"

She sat up quickly and stared at him. "Your pain is new…" she said, weakly. "I thought mine had healed long ago." She sniffled. "It was years ago, yet somehow it still lives in me… no matter how hard I try to forget."

Erik gently caressed her cheek. "It never fully dies … until you find something better to live for … someone … better." He looked at the ground, not able to make eye contact.

"How did you kn-" she started, but he cut her off, pressing his finger to her lips.

"Shhh," he said, tenderly. He kissed her on the cheek, letting his lips linger there for a second, and then helped her to stand. "You should get to bed," he said. "It's late."

Being in Erik's arms had made Julianna forget her pain. She smiled, happy just to have him with her. Suddenly she understood what he'd said earlier. Her pain would be gone when she found something – no, someone – better. Did he mean that he could be that 'someone' for her? Surely not, she thought. That couldn't be what he meant.

"I don't feel like sleeping yet," she said, all traces of unhappiness gone from her voice. She looked up at Erik's handsome face, and gazed into his compelling blue eyes. "There's one more thing I want to show you first."

"What is it?" he asked, willing to do anything to be able to spend more time with her. He was glad she didn't want to sleep. He truly enjoyed his time spent with her. She always made him feel so … well, happy.

"Library," she said, entwining her fingers with his.

He smiled, pressing his still-gloved palm against hers. He was excited about seeing the library, almost as much as he'd anticipated seeing the music room. He enjoyed reading nearly as much as playing the organ.

Without further hesitation, Julianna led Erik back downstairs to a huge library. The walls were lined with bookshelves filled with books of every color, shape, and size. There must have been thousands of them. Even Julianna didn't know exactly how many there were. Some of them, Erik noticed, looked almost new, while others were so old they were falling apart. They were probably hundreds of years old.

Julianna smiled, still holding onto his hand. "You can come in here anytime you want, too," she said. "I'm sure you'd enjoy many of the books in here. I've read most of them."

"Thank you," he said. He'd never seen so many books in one place before. Her library was truly amazing. "How did you know I love to read? Did Christine tell you?"

"No," she replied. "I just guessed."

"Very perceptive of you," he grinned. This woman was amazing. It seemed she could look at him once, and know everything about him. What he liked, what he desired… She was very intuitive.

She smiled back. "Now," she said, "Do you want to go pick out our rings?"

He nodded. "D'accord." He'd almost forgotten about their plan to pretend to be Lord and Lady. Just the thought brought a smile to his lips. He decided that this was going to be very fun, especially if some visitors actually did stop by.

She led him to an old bookcase in the corner of the room. "You keep your riches in a bookcase?" he asked, baffled.

"No, silly Erik," she said, letting her hand caress his cheek for a moment. "Watch." She pulled out three very old books and set them on the floor. Then she pulled open a secret compartment in the wall, barely visible in the dim light. Inside was a lever, which she pulled. To Erik's astonishment, a trapdoor slid open on the floor beside them. "Follow me," she instructed.

He willingly followed her down a long, gloomy stairway, which seemed to be carved right out of the stone beneath the house. It was completely dark, and neither of them could see much of anything. But Julianna knew exactly where she was going, and all Erik could do was cling to her hand in the pitch-black darkness.

After descending several stories underground, they finally reached a flat, stone floor. "I know there's a torch around here somewhere," Julianna said, running her free hand along the wall. "Ah ha!" she exclaimed, finding the torch.

She quickly lit it, revealing a long, stone labyrinth. "This way," she said, pulling him along. "My father made it near impossible to get to our treasure. These tunnels are nothing but a huge maze. If anyone came down here without a guide, they would most likely get lost and die before they could ever find our treasure."

She led him down a maze of several winding passageways until at last she came to a halt in the middle of one of the tunnels. She ran her hand along the cool, clammy wall, looking for yet another lever. Eventually she found the perfectly disguised lever after much searching, and pulled it. The wall opened up, exposing another secret passageway. "Almost there," she said, squeezing his hand gently.

As they turned a corner at the end of the passageway, a huge cave-like room came into view … and it was filled with treasure. Erik's mouth dropped open once again. "Oh my God," he said, breathlessly, staring at the towers of treasure before him. There were piles of sparkling jewels of all colors and sizes, gold and silver coins, and jewelry of every kind imaginable. Erik didn't think such riches were possible. He could only guess that all the treasure in there was worth millions and millions of francs.

Julianna reluctantly let go of Erik's hand, walked over toward the treasure, and attempted to pick up one of the smaller chests. Well, it wasn't that small … just small compared to the others. She could hardly lift it, so she gave up trying. "Erik, come here," she demanded.

He gladly obeyed, walking over to her and sitting on a stone slab as she directed him to. She lowered herself down to place herself beside him, but somehow ended up in his lap. "Sorry," she said, trying to move, but he put his arms around her tightly.

"Stay," he said, huskily, "If you want…"

She felt his apparent arousal, and a small moan escaped her lips. "If it pleases you…" she said, breathlessly.

"Does it please you though?" he asked, loosening his grip on her a bit. The feeling of her body pressing against him was nearly more than he could take. He could feel his control starting to slip. He didn't want to do anything she didn't want him to, but he couldn't have moved, even if he really wanted to.

"Yes, Erik," she said, pressing back against him harder.

He moaned at her surprising actions. Could she possibly want him? He didn't think any woman could want him, but Julianna sure seemed to be disproving that theory. "You want…?" he asked, kissing her roughly on the neck.

"Oh, God, Erik…" she moaned. "Yes…" She had absolutely no control left. She'd been controlling her growing attraction to him all this time. She just couldn't do it anymore. Not when he was like this. She got turned around somehow, and wrapped her legs around his body. He wasn't getting away this time. She looked into his eyes for a moment, and saw all the affection he felt for her. She couldn't resist anymore. She pressed her lips to his fiercely, needing to satisfy her urgent need… his as well. He kissed her back with just as much fiery passion. He parted his lips allowing her tongue to slip into his mouth.

Only by instinct, did Erik know what to do. He cupped her breast gently, and continued to kiss her with a fierce passion. She moaned into his mouth, driving him further into oblivion. He broke their kiss for just a few seconds to catch his breath and aid her in removing her dress. During that time they were parted, Julianna had some time to think. Not that she could think clearly at all, with all the passion he'd awoken in her. But one thought came to her mind clearly. Christine. Oh, God, what am I doing? she thought. I can't do this. As much as she wanted Erik, she knew very clearly now that she could never have him. His heart belonged to another.

She gently stopped Erik from removing her dress, even though it was almost off anyway. "No," she said, a tear slipping down her face. "We can't, Erik. You know that."

He almost allowed a tear to slip down his cheek as well. Almost. He turned to her angrily, towering over her small form, and for once, she was truly frightened of him. "Could you not have told me that a little earlier?" he yelled at her, losing all sense of judgment. Passion can make you do that sometimes, she knew.

"I'm sorry, Erik," she trembled. "I should have…"

"Why!" he cried, "Why?"

"Did you forget about your beloved Christine?" she retorted, bitterly.

He seemed to be lost in thought, so Julianna just kept her mouth shut. This new Erik was frightening, to say the least. Since they'd met, he had been nothing but kind to her. But now the madness inside came to the surface, and she knew the real Erik, not the handsome gentleman he was pretending to be. She hated him for fooling her, and she hated herself more for letting him. And even through her hate, she still cared for him. She still wanted him.

Julianna watched as he stood up, slowly and painfully. He looked at her with genuine guilt. "I'm so sorry…" he whispered, walking over to the corner, and sitting next to the wall. God, I'm stupid, he thought. I thought she didn't want me. She did though… but even more she wanted me to be loyal to Christine… who I love, right? Yes, of course, I love Christine.

Julianna watched in horror as his body racked with sobs. She realized her hate for him disappeared the second he apologized, and she walked over to his trembling form, and pulled him into a hug. He winced, as if her touch burned him. Julianna backed away, hesitantly. She wanted to comfort him with every ounce of compassion she had left. Why did he reject her touch?

"Erik, it's alright," she said. "You did nothing wrong." She tried to touch his face but he turned away.

"I yelled at you," he whispered, hoarsely. "I frightened you. After all that you've done for me …"

He didn't finish. Julianna didn't let him. Uncaring as to whether he would reject her touch or not, she pulled him into her arms once again. "And you had every right to," she said, relieved that he did not push her away. "It was my fault. I shouldn't have lead you on when I knew I couldn't…"

"I lost control," he said, keeping his eyes on the ground. "I'm sorry. Even thought you have no reason to, could you ever forgive me?"

"Oh, Erik," she said, rubbing his back tenderly. "Of course, I forgive you. But only if you can forgive me."

He looked into her green eyes. "I forgive you," he said smiling.

"So we're good then?" she asked, returning the smile.

"Yes," he said, "We're good."

"Good," she said, pulling from the embrace. "Let's pick out our rings now," she said, remembering the reason they were down there in the first place. She led Erik back over to the treasure chest she was trying to lift earlier, and opened it. To Erik's surprise, it was full of rings. Only rings. She laughed. "My father was very organized," she said, "for a pirate."

"So I can see," he said, gazing at the hundreds of rings in the chest.

"So, do you want a plain one or one with jewels?" she asked. "White or yellow gold?"

"Plain," he replied. "White gold is fine."

"D'accord," she said, searching for a plain, white gold wedding band in the chest. Finding one, she said, "Here try this on," and handed it to him.

He put the ring on his finger after removing his glove, and sighed. "It's too big," he said, handing it back to her.

"Erik, you need to get some meat on those bones of yours," she giggled. "You're practically a skeleton."

"Hey, I wouldn't be talking," he said, poking her in the stomach, affectionately.

She laughed. "Stop, that tickles," she grinned, and handed him another ring, this one smaller than the first.

He was tempted to tickle her some more, but he decided not to. He wasn't going to push his luck. He realized he was going to have to take things slower with her, and somehow find a way to get her to forget about Christine. He accepted the ring, and put it on his finger. "It fits," he said, smiling. "Now lets find yours." He searched in the chest until he found a ring with several perfectly cut diamonds decorating a white gold band. "What do you think?" he asked.

"It's beautiful!" she exclaimed. "Here," she said giving him her hand. "Put it on for me."

Erik gently slid the ring onto her ring finger. It fit perfectly. "Now we get to play husband and wife," he said, mischievously.

Julianna grinned. "Come on, let's go to bed. I'm tired."

"Me too," he admitted.

She took his arm, and led him back up to the house. Then she walked him to his room, and made sure he was comfortable. After making sure Erik was contented, she headed down the hall to her own room, quickly changed into a thin nightgown, and collapsed on the bed. She was asleep within minutes.

Well, there's chapter 16. It's really long. I don't even know how it got so long. LOL. By the way, the words from the song Julianna sang I stole from Ben Moody, his song "The End Has Come." Too bad Julianna didn't have any electric guitars. Then they'd really be rockin'! He he. God, I'm an idiot. J/K.Anyway, Tell me what you think. Please review.