The Chapter with the little Mini out of the Italian Job

Tommy woke up and wondered if all he had experienced had been a dream. It was late and he decided to go for a pint or five. He wandered out of his flat, and walked out onto the street. As he walked underneath a very dodgy looking bridge where about a dozen or so different tramps and hobos sat exchanging stories about they wasted lives. Suddenly, a little red mini pulled up and one of the back doors opened. He looked in and saw Infinity.

"Get in."

Tommy's dreams about wild sex in the back of this little car were suddenly vaporised when he saw some dude driving the car in black leather, and a blonde butch woman who Tommy thought was a lesbian. Another thought suddenly ran through his head, but with the look of her, he chucked it out of his head.

"Take off your trousers." Said Infinity. Again, wild thoughts went through his head, but as he saw them take out quite a large dodgy looking machine being pulled out from underneath one of the seats.

"What is that for?" said Tommy, in his white Calvin Klein boxers, was suddenly feeling very aroused when he saw Infinity bend over, saw he could see down her top.

"Excellent." Said Infinity as she saw he was aroused. She attached the large dodgy looking machine to his erect penis.

"What the hell are you doing!" he yelled.

"We think you are bugged. We need to sort it out. This machine will…well you will see now." And as she turned it on, a strong feeling swept over him. It was the same feeling that he got when he pleasured himself, and as he reached his climax, the butch possible-lesbian put a cup over the end of his penis, but the only thing that came out was a small slug like object. He suddenly reared up.

"Shit that thing came out of me!"

"Yeah, you are clean now." Said Infinity. For some reason she seemed impressed. They all drove off, with Tommy struggling to do up his flies. As they entered a building, Infinity told him.

"You are about to meet him."

"Who?"

"The leader of us chosen few, the one who leads us into battle."

"Tony Blair?" Tommy asked

"Tony Blair? Oh, come on! He is a little idiot, a puppet of the Abents."

"I thought that he was a puppet of George W. Bush."

"George W. Bush? Maybe…then again…he is too much of an idiot."

As they entered the room, a very tall black man with a pair of glasses that seemed to be a crossbreed from the glasses of Elton John, Dame Edna Everage and Deirdre Barlow from Coronation Street. He also had an Afro the size of a satellite dish.

"B.O, welcome, my name is Morphine.