CHAPTER FIVE – MAKING A CHOICE

Hermione ran as fast as she could, without knowing where she was going. She was too tired to go on now, too tired of running, of crying, of disappointing everybody.

She found a statue and sat behind it. She sobbed with her face on her hands and wished to disappear. Why was it all so complicated? She just didn't understand.

Suddenly, she heard footsteps. "No," she thought. "It can't be Ron."

"Hermione?" said a masculine voice, although it wasn't Ron's. Hermione turned and saw Harry standing beside the statue. She tried to hide her tears, but it was too late. Harry had already seen them. "What's wrong? Are you okay?" he looked concerned and sat down beside her.

Hermione didn't know what to tell him. She had always been able to talk to her friends. But now it was different.

"It's nothing… I… don't worry," she said looking at her feet and wiping a tear from her cheek.

"Hermione you really want me to believe everything's fine when you're hiding behind an old statue crying?"

"I'm not hiding!" she said defensively. "I just… needed to be alone."

"Right"

"It's true! Why don't you believe me?" said Hermione sadly.

"Oh I believe you. I believe you wanted to be alone. But I don't understand why," he wrapped his arms around his knees. "Will you please tell me what's wrong?"

Hermione looked at him and found his green eyes looking at her. "I… Harry…"

"I must admit I never thought you'd be here," said a voice that was neither Harry's not Hermione's.

Both Hermione and Harry looked up and saw Ron standing there. With his arms crossed and an angry look on his face.

It was a very difficult situation to explain. Hermione and Harry sitting behind a statue… talking… so close…

Hermione stood up quickly and looked at Ron. Harry sighed behind her and stood up too.

"What are you doing Hermione?" asked Ron.

"Nothing. Harry and I were just talking."

"Why did you leave so fast?"

"I…I wasn't feeling well," she lied. Her voice was shaking.

"That's not true. We both know it's not," Ron wasn't angry anymore, he sounded disappointed. "Please tell me Hermione. Once and for all, with Harry here. He wants to understand too, right man?"

It was the first time Ron had been 'nice' to Harry since all this had happened.

Hermione looked at Harry and back at Ron again.

"I… what do you want me to say?" she said desperately. "I mean… It's hard for me too you know?"

"Why don't you just say what you want? Whatever it is Hermione," Harry said and shrugged.

"I… I just…" her voice was shaking again. "Don't make me choose," Hermione looked extremely sad. "It's just too hard."

"We're not making you choose Hermione," said Ron slowly. "You just have to tell us what you want. We need to sort this out."

Tears were falling quickly down Hermione's cheeks. She hated that she had to do this. But it wasn't fair to play with Ron and Harry's feelings. She just didn't want to hurt anybody. Obviously, she knew who she would've loved to 'choose', but it wasn't possible. So she just had to make something up, anything that wouldn't hurt them.

"You guys… I…" she started looking at nowhere. Harry walked up to Ron and stood beside him. So Hermione turned to look at them. She saw Harry first, with his jet, black, messy hair. And those deep green eyes he always looked at her with. Hermione looked at Harry's left then. There he was, standing as handsome as ever. With red hair and beautiful brown eyes. Ron looked at Hermione deep into her eyes. It was such a wonderful feeling. It was so powerful. Hermione looked away from Ron and stared at the floor. "I'm sorry for everything I've done, or said. I shouldn't have said anything at all. I just want you to know that I never meant to hurt you. I really didn't," she closed her eyes for a second and opened them again. "I was confused. I didn't mean it. I shouldn't have told you all that I said." It was as if she'd been only talking to Ron. She wished her tears would stop coming down. "I'm so sorry," she looked up and saw Ron looking at her as though she'd just told him she was going to die tomorrow. She couldn't stand him looking at her like that. It was too painful.

Ron shook his head slightly "No," he whispered. "Hermione don't say that."

"Oh no," though Hermione. "Don't look at me like this Ron. Don't make it any harder that it already is."

It seemed like hours to the three of them, just standing there. Finally, Harry spoke.

"I… I have to go… I have to… err… finish my essay," he said.

But it was as if he'd just talked to the statue. Ron and Hermione were still staring at each other. Ron with sadness in his eyes, and Hermione crying. Harry left and they didn't notice at all.

"Why are you doing this Hermione?" asked Ron sadly.

"Doing what Ron?" she said. "You told me to tell you what I think, didn't you? Well that's it. I've told you what I think."

"No you haven't. I know you too well. And don't say that what you told me this morning wasn't real."

"How can you be so sure?" she asked surprised.

"Because I can see it in your eyes. I can tell you're not telling me the truth," he said. "Come on Hermione. Let's not play this game anymore."

Hermione looked away and tried to think of something to say. "We're not playing any game Ron." She didn't know for how long she was going to be able to fake this. It was just too hard.

"Oh please," said Ron starting to loose his patience "First you kiss me and then cry, then, you tell me you like me and, to me, you look happy. After that, you agree to go on a date with me but then you run away crying. And finally, you tell me it's not true? That you didn't mean anything? Don't give me that shit Hermione."

"Ron I'm sorry. I really am," Hermione said sobbing. "I just… I was confused. I'm sorry."

"Why the hell don't you tell me the truth Hermione?" shouted Ron. "You're not telling me the truth and you know that!"

Hermione cried even harder. How was she supposed to tell Ron the truth? She couldn't. It would just be unfair to Harry. But what was she going to say to Ron? She couldn't continue hiding the truth from him. But she had to, there was no way she could tell him. It would just be worse. Ron would panic and Harry would get too hurt. "Oh Gosh," thought Hermione. "I love him so much. Why did this have to happen?"

"I am telling you the truth Ron," she said without looking at him. "I was just so confused."

"Look at me," said Ron suddenly.

Confused, Hermione looked up. Not because what Ron had told her, but because it was such a stupid comment. "What did you say?" she asked.

"Tell me the truth," he said calmly.

"I already told you Ron!"

"Tell me again. And look at me. Otherwise I won't believe you."

"You can't tell me what to do!" said Hermione annoyed, but slightly worried because she knew if Ron made her look at him, she wouldn't be able to lie.

"I'm just telling you to tell me the truth."

"And I told you the truth," she said.

"Well I don't believe you," he said matter-of-factly. "If you tell me you don't like me looking at me, then I'll believe you."

"Ron you're crazy! What difference does it make?"

"All the difference in the world."

Hermione looked at him and sighed. He was right, but she wasn't going to agree. She knew she couldn't do it.

"I've already told you the truth Ron," she said. "If you don't believe me then it's not my problem."

Hermione turned around and left Ron. She had just turned a corner when she heard someone running behind her. She knew who it would be, of course Ron wouldn't leave things like this.

"Hermione!" he said as he finally caught up with her.

Hermione had stopped crying by now. At least outside, because on the inside, she was screaming. "Yeah?" she asked him.

"I… I'm sorry… I believe you," he said "It's just that… I guess I didn't want to believe you. But I do."

Hermione fought back tears. "That's sweet Ron."

"So… can I walk with you to the Common Room?" he asked with a small smile on his face.

"Sure…"

They walked in silence to the Gryffindor Common Room and when they entered it, they saw Harry sitting alone on a chair beside the fireplace, with his books thrown all over the table next to him.

Hermione walked up to him and said his name. He turned his head and smiled at her.

"Hey I'm really sorry for what happened before. I just…I'm… I'm sorry." Hermione said to him.

"It's ok, don't worry," he said and managed to smile at her.

"I just…-"

"So… is the world ready for The Trio again?" interrupted Ron's voice behind her. He walked over to Harry and said, "Sorry mate… I didn't mean to… you know."

Harry now smiled a true smile and Ron turned to look at Hermione. "Wanna join the club?"

Hermione smiled at Ron, and then turned to look at Harry. She smiled at him too and was glad they were all in good terms again. "Of course," she answered finally.

Ron gave her a big smile and then hugged her tightly. She felt a little uncomfortable but didn't want Ron or Harry to notice so she hugged Ron back. When they broke apart, Hermione had a huge smile on her face. Although she knew it would be difficult to be around Ron all the time after what had happened between them and now that she knew exactly how she felt for him, she had to try. She just didn't want to spoil their friendship. That's why she had made the choice to close the door of her heart and to shut her feelings for Ron away, so the three of them, she, Harry and Ron, could be like before again. It had been a difficult choice but it felt like the most sensitive one. She had chosen friendship over love.