Chapter Forty-Eight
Aboard The Lady Ambergris II:

The group had arrived without incident back at Roebuck Bay just after nightfall. After introductions had been made, most had settled down on the deck for an impromptu meal and some discussion about sleeping arrangements. Derrick had excused himself shortly after their arrival, and gone into the pilothouse where he could be seen by lamplight working on something.

Amber had grown weary of the conversation by midnight and gone below to their cabin. Burke, it seemed had pronounced the perfect arrangement to accommodate the new members of the group. "Sleep outside! I like the stars."

As it turned out, he meant he would sleep outside on deck. Caspar, who usually took the night watch also agreed and the two men gave up their rather cramped cabin to the trio of bikers. Masahiro, who'd already given Cassandra his room, and had been keeping a close eye on her, especially at night, had indicated that he would continue as he was for the moment.

Amber didn't care where anyone slept… she just felt a tingling headache that wouldn't quit. While it was likely more from the strain of the past few days, it might also have to do with the number of immortals present. When she awoke in mid-morning, she could tell that Derrick had never joined her.

After cleaning up, she went topside. Cassandra was at the railing looking morose. Masahiro was nearby. From the tarp stretched over the forecastle, she could hear snoring. Evidently Burke and Wingate were still asleep. A glance at the pilothouse showed her Derrick, still in the pilot's chair… his head nodding slightly, his arms folded across his chest.

From the galley below… Amber could smell food cooking and could hear Michelle and David's laughter. For a moment everything seemed familiar and as it should be. Then she heard Brynn shriek, followed by Sean and Dieter's laughter. Things had changed, and would never be the same again. She blushed, feeling the red creep over her face so quickly that she could feel the heat of it. She'd done something she wasn't proud of. Did everyone know? She glanced around, wondering if the orgy were common knowledge. Her eyes fell on Derrick's dozing form. Surely he knew. That had to be why he'd not come to bed last night… why he was trying to sleep up here. But he'd asked her back! But was he holding himself aloof from her because of what Cassandra had told her about her part in his death? Was he pushing her away?

She finally crossed the deck and took a big breath. "Cassandra?"

The psychic turned toward her, glancing at Masahiro before she finally replied. "Yes?"

"What ya told me… was it the truth?"

"Yes. " Her voice was oddly flat.

"I'll be responsible for Derrick's death?"

Cassandra looked away and Amber could see tears in her eyes. Finally the elder immortal nodded. "Yes."

"Then why did he insist I return?"

Cassandra stared at her for some moments. "He sees you as important somehow."

"Me?" Amber laughed. "I'm just a Boston Irish barmaid who's lived a few hundred years. I'm no' important."

"You are to him, evidently," Cassandra replied.

"And ya disagree?"

"I do. But right now, he won't speak to me… nor listen to what I say."

"And yet ya stay."

Cassandra nodded. "My place is here. Even Derrick knows it. He's angry with me… but he won't send me away when we leave here."

Amber noticed Masahiro curl his lip and growl slightly. She wondered what Cassandra had done that Derrick was so angry with her… that he had her guarded.

Glancing back at the pilothouse, she decided to clear the air. After all, if he didn't want to continue their previous relationship, perhaps she should give up the larger cabin to others. Perhaps, despite it all… she should leave. The last thing she wanted was his death.

Knocking on the closed door, she paused until he glanced up, blinked and waved her in. He shifted in the chair and rubbed his face.

"Ya look tired," she opened.

"Long night," he replied.

Amber leaned against the chart table. "I note ya did not come below last night."

Derrick looked away. "I had things to do. I thought it best for the time being."

"Because of what I did."

Derrick's head shot around sharply at her. His mouth opened and he looked puzzled. Then he seemed to realize something and closed his eyes. Finally he said very softly. "No… because of what I did."

"Ya came for me," Amber furthered.

Derrick's head lowered against his chest. "But I didn't come right away." He sighed and looked away from her, almost seeming embarrassed. In all the time she'd known him… he'd never seemed embarrassed about anything. Finally he looked her in the eye, his own red and tearing. "Ask me why."

Amber straightened, uncertain if she wanted to know why. His guilt about something unnerved her. What could he possibly feel guilty about? She was the one who'd run away. She was the one who'd gotten herself involved in a situation that even she had found uncomfortable. He was the one who'd come for her… taken her back… and somehow made everything right again. What wrong could he do? "Why?" she finally said with a strangled voice.

"I slept with Cassandra."

Amber's stomach lurched and it felt as if a great pressure was in her throat. She hyper-ventilated a moment as she tried to get her mind around that statement. Finally she looked back at him. "You what?"

Derrick nodded. "Some of it was her use of the voice… she sought to distract me from going after you when I first realized you'd gone. But some of it was me… and my seeing that she needed me."

"And now?" Amber cried out and then lowered her voice. "Ya want me to move out of the cabin… tis done."

"No!" Derrick protested and then slumped once more in the chair. "I just didn't want to make assumptions with you until we'd talked. I was the one who behaved badly… I failed you." His voice broke up. "I can't do this! I don't want this! I've never wanted it!" His shoulders began to shake.

Amber stepped closer and softly stroked his cheek as she raised his face to meet hers. She sighed audibly. "Maybe Cassandra is lying."

"She's not. But what she sees in prophecy is colored some by her wants and desires, I think. She wants to be the one standing at my side as I achieve some great destiny. I don't want that! What I want is just to live each day that I have. What I want is what we had."

"But I dinna want to be the cause of yar death. I couldna bear it."

"Maybe that's your destiny… to carry on after I'm dead. Amber I'm a new immortal. I've been well trained, but that cannot make up for the fact that I'm too new at this to be an effective warrior. Besides, although I began to understand what was needed and to relish it some after killing Kobe… I really don't want to go around killing people… not even to save my life."

"Surely ya won't just give up?"

Derrick shrugged. "I don't know. I don't think so… but I don't know. I do know that your being at my side makes the burden easier. But after what I've done… I'd understand it if you never wanted to be with me again."

Amber closed in on him, lightly taking his head in both hands with a smile. "I love ya Derrick Foster. Despite all the warnings and the teachings of my life. I love ya." She kissed him… relishing that he kissed her back hungrily and clutched her waist close to him. After some moments they parted, still leaning their heads together.

"So… shall we go below?" Amber asked.

Derrick sighed and laughed. "Sounds good but I have supplies due here within the hour. There's lots to do before we set sail. I want everything checked and ready to go. The next leg of our journey is a long one." he curled some of her hair about his finger.

"Whar we headed?"

Derrick kissed her eyes and murmured, "India."

"But surely David or Wingate can handle the supplies. Ya need to sleep for just a bit."

He laughed and hugged her tightly, as he stared out onto the deck at Cassandra. "Somehow I don't think it's sleep I'd get if we went below. Besides… I still have to have a talk with Cassandra."

When he said the psychic's name, Amber felt as if a dagger had been plunged into her. "Do ya still want her?" she finally asked.

Derrick did not answer at first… and Amber wondered if he were struggling with how he felt and with what he wanted. "Actually, no," he finally said. "But I have to know what she knows. I didn't want to… but now I think I do."

"About what happens?"

He nodded. "Maybe there is another way to avoid what she sees. If I know what it is she sees… maybe I can prevent it… find another path."

"Other than letting me go."

"Other than letting you go. You are the daystar of my life Kathleen AmberConroy. I knew it the first moment I laid eyes on you. But I have always wanted to let it be your decision. I never wanted you to know."

"And ya forgive me?"

He laughed. "If you forgive me."

"Aye Derrick Foster," she laughed and kissed him again.

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By mid-afternoon, the supplies had been delivered and stowed, their destination filed as a matter of course with the Australian Port Authority, and they'd headed out with the tide… the wind filling the sails. Almost immediately, Burke brightened up, as if being once more underway helped lift whatever shadows and ghosts lingered in his mind. Once more he stood with arms stretched wide in the bow and yelled long and low some wordless cry of joy.

Wingate was handling the steering based on the charts while Derrick went below to the mess to have a talk with Cassandra.

He shooed Michelle out of the galley and closed the door so that only he, Masahiro, and Cassandra were privy to the conversation. Amber paced up and down the deck… clearly nervous. She was even more so when Dieter approached her and made some advances as if nothing had changed between them.

"I missed you last night. You should have joined us instead of sleeping alone."

Amber had shaken her head, unable to meet his gaze and aware that Wingate and Michelle were looking at her strangely. "It's not the same here. It was a mistake." She backed away from him. "Ya're nice enough… but it's not the same."

"Brynn says Derrick's yours." Dieter shrugged. "Brynn wants to know. She's kinda interested in him for a lark."

Amber shook her head, feeling trapped and frightened. "She'd have to ask him. As he told you… things are different here."

"Yeah… that's why I was asking." Dieter grinned. "You were a good lay. I enjoyed it." He laughed and made to slap her rear.

Amber grabbed his hand and twisted it. "I said 'No!'" she hissed. "Have ya got that?"

Dieter's eyes flashed and his lip curled. Then just as suddenly the snarl faded and he shrugged. "Fine. But if you change your mind…"

"I won't."

"But if you do… you'll have to do the asking." He backed off angrily, and rejoined his mates at the other rail. Wrapping his arms around Brynn and nuzzling her neck. Amber wondered again if Derrick wasn't completely mad in collecting this group of immortals to travel with. What did he hope to prove? Did he even know? She glanced at the gangway to the galley and wondered what was happening.

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His fingers steepled before him, Derrick reclined against the back of the wooden chair and listened as Cassandra spoke. Masahiro, knife drawn and ready, stood close to her… a grim expression in his face. Cassandra had not attempted the voice again. She sensed that even if she managed to control one of them… the other would rob her of her speech… and perhaps her life.

"In India you will find him," she was saying. "One of the older ones. Perhaps older than I am… but not as old as Methos."

Masahiro grunted. "This Methos you speak of is a myth."

Cassandra smiled thinly and said nothing as she watched Derrick's expression, realizing that he did know exactly who Methos was. She saw it in the lack of surprise on his grim face.

"I see the two of you fight. I see Amber's involvement. That is always in flux. But it is her actions that precipitate your death. I sought only to prevent that death."

Derrick sighed heavily. "I want her here," he said plainly. "I don't care about living forever… I only want to make the most of whatever life I have. That's all I've ever wanted. Nothing's changed."

Cassandra looked away and her shoulders sagged. "But if you live… the world for immortals might change. I see…"

Derrick interrupted her with a gesture of his hand. "I don't want to know that. I'm interested only in this fight you see."

Cassandra sighed audibly and then nodded. "He is perhaps Middle Eastern or Indian. He seems to know you. He has been looking for you for centuries."

Derrick laughed. "I'm thirty years old Cassandra. Not thirty centuries… not even three centuries. How can he be looking for me?"

"He has seen you in a vision," she replied sadly. "When he sees you… he will know you."

Masahiro cleared his throat. "If I may Derrick-sama. My people believe in the importance of ancestors. We immortals have never had ancestors that we know of. But we come from somewhere. I do not think that we were created from nothing."

Derrick nodded for him to continue, wondering sadly how it was that they'd exchanged positions so that his old mentor thought of Derrick as the master to be followed.

"Perhaps it is not you… but another immortal whose quickening is in you."

"Then it would have been in Kobe… he was my first."

"Hai… that is possible. But I doubt it. I believe it is something that has been with you always. Perhaps we do have ancestors… but not in the mortal sense. Have you never dreamed of another life?"

His question was rhetorical… but Derrick started slightly at the words.

"Ah… you have."

Cassandra clutched her hands, looking at them intently. She seemed small and vulnerable without her voice to protect her. Something of the slave she'd been hung about her despite the millennia of her years. Was that why he'd raped her? Was there something in that which she had needed to be reminded of? Despite her haughtiness and despite her strength, her great age and abilities… she was in many ways the woman she had been once upon a time. She glanced up at him without emotion. Derrick could see fear in her submissive gaze.

"You chose to remain on board, Cassandra. Why?" he asked her.

"I want to help. All the paths of my future led here. I see nothing for me if I leave."

"Swear to me by whatever gods you believe in or powers you pray to that you will not use the voice on anyone aboard."

Cassandra nodded.

"Say it aloud."

Her eyes sparked green fire as she stared at him… "I so swear."

"Swear what?" A small smile alit on Derrick's lips.

She laughed and nodded. "I swear I will not use the voice until you give me leave unless to protect my life. Will that work."

"Compromise," he replied.

"Compromise," she agreed. For a moment he saw a flash of the modern Cassandra… the one who'd strode so confidently aboard his ship. She was still there.

At that, Derrick indicated that Masahiro could leave. The Japanese immortal looked at him quizzically but in true samurai fashion, having been given an order by his lord… he obeyed. He bowed toward Derrick. "I shall be nearby," he then warned Cassandra as he left.

Once the door was shut Derrick offered his apology. "I'm truly sorry for what I did."

Looking at him strangely, Cassandra questioned him. "You had reason. You thought I'd betrayed you."

"I hope there will be peace between us."

"Peace? What about love?" she asked plaintively.

Derrick shook his head. "For there to be love or any other sort of intimacy… there must be trust. You will need to earn that again. If at anytime you wish to leave… I will change course and let you off at he closest port. But what happened between us is something that will not happen again. Nor will we ever speak of it again."

"Then peace shall it be," Cassandra said sadly. "For however long you live."

Only then did he dismiss her and wander topside to find Amber. Only then, after making certain of the weather and that they were on course, did he gather her into his arms to retire for a while. And only then… in the privacy of their cabin… did they truly ease away the guilt that each felt and explore the joy of being together… if not for all time… at least for today.

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