Chapter 23 - Confusion, Confessions and Choices
Legolas sat quietly by the waters edge. A beautiful serene scene but his
mind and heart were in turmoil. Laura had been behaving strangely since the
first night out from Gondor when she'd awoke from a bad dream. Now she had
disappeared with an elf she had previously appeared to dislike. So
consumed by his thoughts and worries he was unaware when Laura returned
alone to the small lake.
He jumped from his sitting position on the ground when Laura lay a hand on
his shoulder. His look of shock changed immediately to one of relief and
happiness upon seeing her face. He smiled and bowed to her in greeting. His
relief was short lived however when he noticed she appeared distraught.
"Laura?" He asked moments before she rushed into his arms, wrapping her arms
around him and sobbing quietly into his shoulder.
Legolas stroked her hair and whispered into her ear in confused comforting
tones until she finally came up for air with a red, runny nose and bloodshot
eyes.
"What is it my love?" Legolas asked in concern.
She gave him a weak smile, and her tears began to fall faster. She sniffled
while wiping at her tears.
"Legolas," she whimpered causing his heart to constrict in worry. "I'm
sorry, I shouldn't have kept this from you. I had a dream several nights
ago. I was told I could have a wonderful life here in Lothlorien with, with
Haldir. I was told I could make a good life with him, and that he would love
me dearly.
"But I was also told that if I stayed with you I would be in danger. I don't
know what to do. I would like to spend the day with Haldir. I love you
Legolas, and you know that I don't want to hurt you but I have to see what I
could feel for Haldir. I have to give that path a chance. Galadriel would
not have told me to make the choice if I would not be happy with him."
Legolas stood in shocked silence. Laura began to feel uncomfortable under
his gaze as the minutes passed and Legolas had not spoken.
"Legolas, please I have to do this." She pleaded.
"I have to do this for myself, Haldir, as well as for you. What if he is the
one? The man, I mean the elf I am meant to be with. I've always
believed strongly
in fate, and I know I must explore this other path. That does not mean I
love you any less."
Still he stared, still he stood silently. Laura felt as though his heart were
breaking from the hurt she was causing Legolas.
"Please understand Legolas." She whispered, eyes downcast, no longer able to
endure his gaze.
The next thing she knew was arms wrapping tightly around her in a hug like
she'd never received before. It was full of love and desperation. Laura
cried again, her loud cries muffled by Legolas' lips on hers. When the kiss
broke Laura was panting for breath as the tears still fell freely. Legolas
placed both hands on her face, and turned her gaze up to meet his own again.
"I love you Laura," She opened her mouth to speak but he placed two fingers
over her lips.
"I love you and it would break my heart, and shatter my soul should you
choose Haldir. But I trust in you, trust in our love for you to make the
right choice. Go and be with Haldir today. Tomorrow you will return
to me and we will live out our lives happily."
Neither noticed Legolas had not removed his fingers from her lips, and had
been softly running his fingers over them. They both stood silently, eyes
locked in love, and pain.
A loud cough interrupted them. Legolas turned Laura to face a waiting
Haldir.
"Forgive me, you were away longer than you told me you would be."
Laura gave him a weak smile, and turned to say goodbye to Legolas, but found
he had left silently.
"Come, he is allowing us our time together." Haldir reached a warm hand out
to Laura which she tenaively took.
Together the two quietly made their way deep into the woods where they
stayed undisturbed for the remaining part of the day. The two
spoke mostly of Haldir, and his life and when he would ask her something
about her own life, or herself she would stare off into the distance,
at something Haldir could not see and tell him there were some things
she could not talk about.
Laura felt that Haldir truly was a gentle soul that she could share anything
with, and he was also comforting to her in her distress over Legolas. But
she found that Legolas was always at the back of her mind, tugging at her
heart.
When morning approached Haldir took her to a tree with long winding stairs.
Beginning to panic Laura tried to pull from his grasp on her hand. He only
held her hand tighter, and pulled her into his arms.
"Laura," he whispered. "please trust me. These are stairs. This is not a
rope, you will be safe. I will keep you safe. There is something I want you
to see and this may be the only chance you will have to see it."
She looked up uncertainly, and Haldir felt the shudder run through
her body. He then pulled her in closer, and walked her towards the stairs
whispering in her ear.
"No harm will come to you here. I will protect you."
Laura allowed herself to be led and soon she found herself on a talan high
above the tree tops. Beautifully carved railings enclosed the circular flat
surface. Haldir took her to the east side of the talan, and the two stood
awaiting the rise of the sun, Laura leaning back into his chest while his arms
encircled protectively around her.
Soon the darkness around them began to fade and birds were heard in the
forest once again. The sky sparkled in oranges, and reds as rays from the
sun shone through the clouds, over the trees, and mountain tops.
"Oh this is beautiful Haldir." Laura gasped as she took in the changing sky.
His arms wrapped about her tighter then as morning dawned and the new day
threatened to take her away from him.
"If you remain in Lothlorien all this beauty and more will be with you
forever. I will be with you forever. Always protecting, and loving you. Let
me love you."
He turned her towards him away from the sun, away from daylight that threatened
to end their time together and pressed his lips to hers in a desperate,
passion filled kiss.Laura was left breathless, and needing more. She buried
her fingers in his hair and kissed him with the fire she felt deep within
her, hotter than the morning rays that pressed down at her back.
This continued on long after the sunset, and long after their breath had
been spent. The short lived morning was cut even shorter when Haldir
broke their kiss and stared off at the horizon as if listening to a far off
voice again.
"We must return to the lake. The lady says you must make your decision
there."
Laura panicked throughout the journey back to the clearing where the
lake was. The lake where she would have to face Legolas, face her
difficult decision. Her heart
pounded frantically within her chest. What would she decide? Could she
decide? She felt she could be happy to just die now rather than face
hurting
either of the wonderful elves she loved, and was growing to love.
They had just passed a border of the wood. Haldir noticed she
was beginning to lag behind and reached his hand out and took hers tenderly
in his hand moments before she planned to bolt from the woods.
"Ohh, my heart is breaking Haldir." She whispered, turning her gaze to the
sky in desperation.
Soon, too soon the two came upon Legolas sitting on a fallen tree stump, and
Laura felt the urge to run again. For the first time since coming to Middle
Earth, she felt she wanted to return home, home to her miserable family.
Laura released Haldir's hand upon seeing the questioning look Legolas gave
her. He looked as confused and distraught as she felt.
When Haldir also gave her a questioning, and hurt look, she ran. Ran away
from the hurt ahe caused, away from the choice she knew she must make.
She could not decide, could not hurt either one of them. She ran as if
her very life depended on it, not running from two wonderful, and
loving elves.
Legolas and Haldir started after her immediately but again Haldir stared off
into space listening to a far away unheard by others voice. He told Legolas
to let her go, said she needed more time to think. Legolas reluctantly
stayed behind with Haldir, the pair glaring daggers at one another.
As Laura ran she heard Galadriel's voice inside her head speaking to her.
Telling her to return, telling her she had to decide.
"Time is growing short."
Laura felt her tears begin to well, and ignored them as they interfered with
her vision.
"TIME?" She screamed.
"Time for what?"
Unaware of the fallen log in her path, she stumbled over it, falling to the
hard ground below. Pent up anger, forgotten hurts, and long suppressed feelings
were released as she lay flat on the cool ground. Her cries, and screams
could be heard throughout much of the woods. She pounded at the hard ground
with her fists when her voice failed her.
"Why?" She rasped when she was shocked from her tantrum with the sight of
two feminine slippers standing before her.
She looked up and immediately knew the owner to be Galadriel from how Haldir
had described her. The elf smiled kindly, and bent slightly, offering Laura
a hand up.
"Why is not what you should be concerned with. However if you must know. I
had not intended to tell you of this other path before you, knowing that it
would cause much pain. I just worried for my Marchwarden. He is thought to
be a hard elf by many of the elleth's. He had not felt love in many ages.
"I am also worried that you did not fully appreciate the love Legolas offers you
Laura. You come from another time, another place. There people are not
gifted with immortality. You do not understand it, and you cannot as we do.
Many elves do not always consider it a gift but a burden. Your kind wish for
it, and you will have it Laura.
"On one of the paths before you, you will be faced with immortality,
and be given
it. The other you would die, as would the elf who you choose, but you would
both be happy doing so. Choose wisely Laura, choose the elf you wish to
spend forever with. Your choice awaits you."
Laura was being shaken awake. A warm feeling coursing through her body as
hands lay on her head. Mumbling, resting in warm loving arms, and beautiful
blue eyes looking down on her in concern and panic. Legolas' arms around
her, Haldir's hands on a painful spot on her head.
"Prince charming, or the handsome warrior." She whispered looking at each of
the concerned elves.
She smiled when she lay her eyes on Haldir, causing Legolas to momentarily
frown.
"I wish you were the human actors I had to decide between. There would be no
deciding then, it would be you." She put a shaky hand on Haldir's cheek.
He frowned, and caressed her cheek as she had done to him.
"My lady, I know your heart truly lies with Legolas. I know that you fear
what may be, should you go with him, but do not. You will both be happy
together. You and I were only in love with what the lady has shown, or told
us could come to be should you stay. You cannot, you must go with Legolas.
That is your destiny."
Tears again filled Laura's eyes and she tore herself from Legolas' arms,
launching herself into Haldir's.
"I was already falling in love with you Haldir, and would have completely,
had we been allowed longer together."
Haldir held her face in his hands and placed a soft, sweet kiss on her lips.
"I as well believe it so. I shall leave my lady, Galadriel has said you must
take your leave of the forest now."
She nodded, and hugged Haldir tighter before she reluctantly pulled away and
watched as he left the clearing. Legolas stood silently, and followed in the
direction Haldir had gone with Laura lagging behind head hung low in
despair.
Legolas silently prepared the horses to leave as Haldir stood quietly beside
Laura. Soon the two were ready to leave and Laura found she did not wish to
leave behind the wonderful forest. She silently walked to a tree on
the border, and put her hand on it as a farewell to the beautiful woods.
Haldir then helped Laura onto her horse and walked away leaving the two
alone on their horses. Laura felt she may break down again but felt a hand
come to rest upon her shoulder.
"Come Laura."
She turned to see Legolas, the elf she had given her heart completely to
smiling sadly at her. With a barely noticeable nod of her head they were
leaving Lothlorien.
They soon came to the top of a hill that overlooked the golden wood, and
Laura found herself stopped to look back. Legolas turned his horse around,
and came to stop beside her on top of the hill. She looked over at him with
a sad smile.
"I have lost what could have been in leaving this place. Lost love, and so
bittersweet a loss I have never before suffered." Laura reached out and took
his hand and lay a kiss on it.
"I love you Legolas, lets go home."